Stolen Pixels #10: Gameplay Tutorial

In this edition of Stolen Pixels, Shamus Young points out that stone walls do not a prison make, but clipboards and a scowl apparently make one heck of a cage.

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This one's my absolute favorite thus far.

I wondered that the whole damn time too!

Maybe I'm just naive/oblivious, but I didn't think that they ever established Desmond as an assassin (which would explain why he didn't start to get "assassin powers" until the end of the game).

Ah well, it's still funny :)

Whoa! it's like Ubi said, "Just how many metagames do you think we can get someone to play?"

Ace, they do finally let slip that Desmond is there because he and his parents and so on are all assassins.

And they could have at least let you walk faster in the "prison." Its like they were trying to drag another hour of game-length out of Desmond's inability to move with any urgency!

You know, you actually can escape from them at the end. It has to do with the weird code you get slipped about the end of the second mission.

ChurchV50:
Whoa! it's like Ubi said, "Just how many metagames do you think we can get someone to play?"

Ace, they do finally let slip that Desmond is there because he and his parents and so on are all assassins.

And they could have at least let you walk faster in the "prison." Its like they were trying to drag another hour of game-length out of Desmond's inability to move with any urgency!

Wow, I can't believe I missed and/or forgot about that. Still, he's not exactly an assassin :)

ChurchV50:

And they could have at least let you walk faster in the "prison." Its like they were trying to drag another hour of game-length out of Desmond's inability to move with any urgency!

Holy Christ yes, and that wasnt the only time I felt that way in Assassin's Creed.

That strip actualy felt alot like Concerened, infact your Desmond is a slightly less malicious Gordon Frohman.

You rock man. ^^

sammyfreak:
That strip actualy felt alot like Concerened, infact your Desmond is a slightly less malicious Gordon Frohman.

You rock man. ^^

High praise indeed. Concerned was outstanding.

That is a pretty accurate representation of that part of the game...

Kiltman

Haha, I thought some of that stuff too.

*Spoilers*

That chick your with is also an assassin. At one point when talking to her she puts her hand on her chest but folds down her ring finger, which Altair had cut off for the hidden blade.

You are supposed to be in one of the core Buildings of the Mega-Company with its own private army that is about to rule the world, in a room full of cameras, and obviously many many guards outside. For an assassin that never completed training, having left at age 16 from the camp, Desmond is smarter than you.

((I love the comic and Twenty Sided, but I just couldn't resist :P))

I despised that part of the game for so many reasons. As for the army, guards and cameras, Blue Wizard, wouldn't they get a little pissed that you're snooping around in their computer system? I figure they'd have something to say with their fists about that.

The thing that really bugged me, though, was that those scenes were usually nothing but cutscenes. Unskippable, incredibly boring and long cutscenes. I guess they were trying to do the Prince of Persia "That's not how the story went" excuse for having a HUD and game over screens, but it failed for me. Failed miserably.

Those who know about the "Milgram Experiment" - I think the results were like, 66% of the people "electrocuting" the subject on the other side stopped at 300/450 volts, while the rest went all the way, none went less then 300, only because a guy in a lab coat (Scowl optional) said so.

2 people recreated the experiment using a real shock, and instead of a person acting, it was a puppy actually getting shocked - 80 percent went to the highest voltage...so statistically 8 out of 10 people would torture the shit out of a puppy because a guy in a lab coat said to do it.

A scowl and a white coat, MAYBE a name tag, and you've got everyone wrapped around your finger. Imagine if you had a uniform, or a badge?

Blue_Wizard:
You are supposed to be in one of the core Buildings of the Mega-Company with its own private army that is about to rule the world, in a room full of cameras, and obviously many many guards outside. For an assassin that never completed training, having left at age 16 from the camp, Desmond is smarter than you.

((I love the comic and Twenty Sided, but I just couldn't resist :P))

Ha, gives him a perfect opportunity to sabatoge the hell out of Abstergo, I got lots of video feed showing me stealing pens and reading e-mails but nothing ever happened - no one questioned why their Pens where missing, nothing. They should have done better at making you feel like there is now way out.

ChurchV50:

And they could have at least let you walk faster in the "prison." Its like they were trying to drag another hour of game-length out of Desmond's inability to move with any urgency!

Where were you during the rest of the game? Walking = not a threat, Running = Kill on sight.

Glad to see someone besides me thought the plot of this game was written by an imbecile.

My god, Desmond DOES look like Gordon Frohman...

More of this sort of thing!

Yeah, the supposedly secure room, and taking the pens... I actually missed one of them, it was incredibly subtle as to when they were available.

He's not an assassin in the "trained killer" sense. He's an assassin in the "bloodline and upbringing" sense. That's why, even away from his nomadic modern-assassin parents, he tried to stay completely off the grid; no phone, no credit card - just the driving license for his motorbike caught him out.

Arab, normally I'd agree, but tell me you didn't break into a dead run when no one was looking in the game. Desmond gets left all by his lonesome during every break. I'd have settled for a brisker walk.

ChurchV50:
Arab, normally I'd agree, but tell me you didn't break into a dead run when no one was looking in the game. Desmond gets left all by his lonesome during every break. I'd have settled for a brisker walk.

Only when no-one was looking? Haha, that's a daredevil assassin for you right there. I think I spent most of the game in a dead run... and when I got the tackle manoeuvre, no guard was safe.

Yeah, I spent a lot of the game running and hiding, too.

Niccolo:

ChurchV50:
Arab, normally I'd agree, but tell me you didn't break into a dead run when no one was looking in the game. Desmond gets left all by his lonesome during every break. I'd have settled for a brisker walk.

Only when no-one was looking? Haha, that's a daredevil assassin for you right there. I think I spent most of the game in a dead run... and when I got the tackle manoeuvre, no guard was safe.

Yeah, I spent a lot of the game running and hiding, too.

lol, I climbed everything in front of the guards, what do I get? "Oh what a strange man!"

*sneezes*

"ASSASSSIIIIN!!!" *keeps running, tackles everyone, sits on a bench - guards give up*

Still, yes Church I was only joking - Desmond practically defeated the purpose of being able to explore, since it took him 5 minutes to get off the animus, and then walk to his bedroom.

Oh my god this made me cry with laughter, something that hasn't happened to me for quite a while. Good work! You are one funny guy.

You are missing the point of the game. It is part of a series and in the forthcoming sequel it is revealed that Desmond was planning to subvert the system by hacking the corporation's VR generating mainframe from within as the medieval assassin character thus creating an interdepartmental memo that instructs his captors to release him and give him the prize of a three week all expenses paid holiday in the Seychelles as it is revealed to [b]them[\b] that they are all part of a Reality TV programme currently beating the fifteenth season of 'Lost' in the ratings.

I always thought you were a bit over-friendly for a ex-assassin

AceCalhoon:
Maybe I'm just naive/oblivious, but I didn't think that they ever established Desmond as an assassin (which would explain why he didn't start to get "assassin powers" until the end of the game).

Ah well, it's still funny :)

They did establish him as an ex assassin by him actually admitting that and assassins trying to save him

There's a point to it :) It was very disaopinting that you had to let evil corporation to win so the sequal could come - and it seems that the second game will be about the same thing.

I love Assassin's Creed, and I found the walking around as Desmond parts pretty freaky, but now it's just funny.

"Aren't you tired?"
Lucy is awesome lol.
If any of you guys have seen the "glitch" where Desmond can get on top of the table, then you'll know what I mean.

I played Arsearsein's Creed, and a thought that a company which seemed to care little for it's emplyees,wouldn't possibly have guards outside of the famed mechanical doors, inside the bloody tall building, in the future.
But the main wuss, is indeed not even remotly as awesome as his clan.