Stolen Pixels #11: Finally!

Stolen Pixels #11: Finally!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Shamus Young will be happy to tell you once this edition of Stolen Pixels finishes loading.

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I miss Shenmue too.

"*knock knock* ...Nobody's home."

"*knock knock* ...They must be out."

"*knock knock* ...Nobody's home."

"*knock knock* ...They must be out."

Good times.

You ever play the old Sierra "Quest for Glory" games, Shamus? The random citizens of the world actually locked the doors of their homes!

Halbert:
You ever play the old Sierra "Quest for Glory" games, Shamus? The random citizens of the world actually locked the doors of their homes!

Locks? in a game world? surely not!

Enjoyed as always Shamus

It can't be that hard to make a game with no loading screens. In fact, I'm sure it can be done. Especially with Valve's engine. It stops drawing anything beyond the players line of site, so there wouldn't be any lag. Granted it'll take an exceptionally long time to load the level. Would it be worth it to wait one LONG loading screen to play with no more?

I seem to recall a game (Guild Wars if I'm not mistaken) where load times would be reduced after you'd already been there before.

I haven't played The Witcher because I find the sexism in the game too offensive to ignore. But your comments on the hell that is a load screen had me laughing out loud! Good work, Shamus.

Here's my suggestion for a game: Let's have a protagonist that is a middle-aged woman. (Let's make her 41, since that's my age.) She's not ugly, but she's no hot young babe, either. She has a couple of battle scars on her face and dark circles under her eyes.

My middle-aged lady hero would be able to kick monster ass with one hand tied behind her back. And young handsome men would be offering themselves to her at every turn. Whenever she had sex with one of these young gentlemen, she would kick them out of her bed the next morning and later receive an x-rated postcard as a souvenir of her carnal exploits.

Oh yeah... and since she's a woman, she would always politely knock on the door before entering a private residence.

Leslee

Y'know where load screens are even more obnoxious? Multiplayer games.

You're sitting there on the couch with two other buddies. You've adjusted your game settings just right, and now it's time to play. You hit the start button . . . and the game disc spins. And spins.

And spins.

You make an awkward comment about it. One of your friends forces a just-as-awkward chuckle. The three of you sit there in silence, just watching the screen . . .

Yeah. It's not pretty.

Not just ask for jobs - rummage through their stuff, and TAKE IT!

"Oh, look. You've got $50 in your wallet. I'll just remove that. I've saving the world, you know."
"Um, well, you *said* that, sure. But mostly you've just broken vases and looked inside my cabinets. And asked me about a dragon. Three times now. I'm not really su..."
"SILENCE! Help me move your dresser. I think there's a sword behind it."

But these same heroes have to pay for healing potions at the store for some reason....

It is well known that all storekeepers are retired heroes themselves and quite capable of beating the crap out of any misguided trainee heroes.

Even though that was funny you are late to the party man, the load times have been fixed and are now almost instant, I remember when the patch came out I intentionally walked into the wrong houses so that I could see what I was missing. (Nothing btw, just some items in chests, which no one minded when I took the stuff out)

lesterley:
I haven't played The Witcher because I find the sexism in the game too offensive to ignore.

Oh, I thought the sexism was just part of the "atmosphere" - like how everyone is racist to dwarves and everyone on the street is poor and dying from hunger, and there are prostitutes everywhere - like ye olde medieval times (also the game was based on the book [which I never read] so maybe Geralt was sexing everyone up in that too) - but hey that doesn't mean you have to like it.

Aww. That's harsh, what with the Enhanced Edition cutting loading times by 80% or so. You choose eight months after release as a good time to harp on us about that?! :)

You could think of the eight months as simply a very long load time for this joke.

Ah, the dreaded loading screen. Long has it been my bane! And honestly I'm wondering how some of these merchants are staying in business without so much as a sign out front. They must get TERRIFIC word-of-mouth advertising.

Also-

Kakhtus:
I miss Shenmue too.

"*knock knock* ...Nobody's home."

"*knock knock* ...They must be out."

"*knock knock* ...Nobody's home."

"*knock knock* ...They must be out."

On the other side of the door:

"Harold, someone's at the door."

"It's probably that brat with the messy hair again. Ignore it, he'll go away."

and they don't even give you mini games anymore for them. when the PlayStation first came out they were almost apologetic for having loading screens offering Galaga, or some other silly time waster, now it's just a generic loading screen with some concept art if you're lucky.

Oblivion had something like locking the doors, but that's not enough.

The womanaizing part about Witcher didn't feel right when transfered to the game.

Hmm, i don't remember the load times being bad on the PC version....hahahahaha

Shamus Young:
I want a game where I can knock on doors.

Brave Fencer Musashi?

 

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