Zero Punctuation: Braid

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Really people, are you serious?

I was gonna post: "Whatever happend to being funny and clever as opposed to being an angry if eloquent misanthrope foaming at the mouth while rabidly calling everyone a moron?"

Don't you people have better things to do than inflate Yahtzee's already vast ego?

(appologies to those who actually did say something other than "grate as usul" or some variation with worse or better spelling)

funny one, for an arcade game at least, and damn you adrian!
also if you teabag ppl online you are a prick and should go give a 12gauge shotgun a terminal blowjob

dannydamage:
WTF is with the word 'intertubes'? Am I right in thinking that this ridiculous colloquialism comes from the states? Sounds like one of those god-awful hybrid phrases like 'fantabulas' (sp?)

"Intertubes" is just a word for the internet going around as a joke on the web. It started with this old senator who said some stupid stuff about networks, see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f99PcP0aFNE .
But you're right, it's a bit stupid to actually use it. I just got so used to it.

parttimeesthete:

dannydamage:
WTF is with the word 'intertubes'? Am I right in thinking that this ridiculous colloquialism comes from the states? Sounds like one of those god-awful hybrid phrases like 'fantabulas' (sp?)

"Intertubes" is just a word for the internet going around as a joke on the web. It started with this old senator who said some stupid stuff about networks, see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f99PcP0aFNE .
But you're right, it's a bit stupid to actually use it. I just got so used to it.

Oh right, thanks. To be fair I thought we'd already made up a mock word (interweb) to abuse the fashionable-net users, why did we need another?

Is it a circle of net-noobs thinking their not noobs anymore and their only way to attempt to prove it is by calling people who have been net users for 2 months less than themselves a new name?

*Sigh* I'm that disappointed by the chewing and spitting out of the English language I can't be arsed to rant anymore.

It looks like Yahzee thought (mostly correctly, unfortunately, Adrian you stupid bitch) that he was going to get that jab about teabagging to pass through without people noticing what he was actually talking about. Unfortunately, human beings are born with the talent of being able to smell bullshit better than they can make it. Nice try. Passive-aggressive pussyfooting isn't going to get you anywhere. I'm not forgetting that flagrant disregard for an entire dimension of fun that easily, either. He's in denial at this point. "Well, it's apparent that I can't come up with any clever plans when under fire, so it looks like it's time to claim that slow-paced puzzlers are much more satisfying anyways!" Yeah. Uh-huh. I bet those grapes were bitter anyways. I'll believe that load of bull the day he comes home from Evolution without getting jabbed to death in his first round of Super Turbo.

Well I blame a lot of people for the state of the video game market but not nessecarily me in particular. YES occasionaly I get lost in the madness of decapitating enemies to the music of Linkin Park but all in all a good story goes a long way. Even if the game is repetetive a good storyline may be able to save its ass. Halo 3 I found awful because it didn't keep me interested despite the fact its all adrenaline based action. And the same follows with a lot of games. The creativity is much more important then the action by far.

Just in case Yahtzee actually reads this, I gotta say... I'm disappointed.
The review, in general was great, fine, whatever. But seriously... two doors with no indication of which to pick?
The only places I can think of would be in World 4, and you didn't once - not even after the first one - "Green key, non-green door... I've seen this before, and sure don't want to be reversing time"? Or, perhaps, "Hey, everything in this world advances when I move to the right... even that one puzzle piece I have to get while moving to the right... maybe given two options of how to approach, I should be moving to the right"?

Come on, man. Before this review, I would point and laugh at people that claimed it was totally arbitrary or there was no indication which one to use. But you're an intelligent guy, and you didn't figure it out after three iterations? That's just... sad.

Eldritch Warlord:
Really people, are you serious?

I was gonna post: "Whatever happend to being funny and clever as opposed to being an angry if eloquent misanthrope foaming at the mouth while rabidly calling everyone a moron?"

Don't you people have better things to do than inflate Yahtzee's already vast ego?

(appologies to those who actually did say something other than "grate as usul" or some variation with worse or better spelling)

Don't even try man, I said something of that nature on the first page of the GTA IV review and they ripped me apart.

ElArabDeMagnifico:

Eldritch Warlord:
Really people, are you serious?

I was gonna post: "Whatever happend to being funny and clever as opposed to being an angry if eloquent misanthrope foaming at the mouth while rabidly calling everyone a moron?"

Don't you people have better things to do than inflate Yahtzee's already vast ego?

(appologies to those who actually did say something other than "grate as usul" or some variation with worse or better spelling)

Don't even try man, I said something of that nature on the first page of the GTA IV review and they ripped me apart.

They would do that even to the Arab of Magnificence?

But I think of it this way, if I don't reply to the Yahtzee Disciples then I'm immune to their idiocy.

I'm surprised a number have people have mentioned the "two door" thing (to confirm, yes, there is nothing "random" about it, and if you do screw up, it takes all of 10 seconds to walk back to the door and reset the room), but no one's mentioned the "lazy repeated design" thing.

There was absolutely nothing lazy about this -- in every case, there is some new and interesting puzzle to solve, even if the elements appear to be arranged the same way to first glance. "Hunt" shows up twice, for instance, but the mechanics of the two worlds they appear in make them totally different when it comes to actually solving it. "Phase" appears twice, but the second time, half of the platforms have disappeared, forcing you to use your time manipulation powers in a new way. This is the first time I've really strongly felt Yahtzee was completely off-base with a review.

As for the story/gameplay divide, I don't agree with him, but I don't disagree with him. The writing is pretentious, and if you're waiting for a clear explanation, it's never going to come. The story is not required for the gameplay, but each world tied its unique gameplay mechanic to the emotional issues of the protagonist; I thought that was really neat. World 5's gameplay gimmick/emotional setting always gets to me. I think Joe Blow tried to do something new here, and it's not going to work for everyone. To me, it worked, and a number of people I've shown it to have confessed that it touched upon something personal to their lives regarding relationships and regret.

As for everyone left wondering what Braid is about: it's a puzzle platformer with a little bit of hop-and-bop, it will mess with your understanding of time worse than Portal messed with your sense of space, it's absolutely gorgeous and if you enjoy using your brain you should drop the $15 on it without hesitation.

Being called Adrian I think I'm receiving a lot of unjustified hate on the internets, today

ironically I do not own any next generation consoles nor do I play pc games like bioshock
crysis and what other games you bloody dicks play these days I enjoy games like stronghold, red alert 2, star trek armada, blockland, the myth of soma, samp, zdaemon, sim city etc the most graphically intense game I play are half life 2 type games

so fuck you it's not this particular Adrians fault I'd rather we were all playing new 2d rts games, or good zombie survival simulations

Eldritch Warlord:

ElArabDeMagnifico:

Eldritch Warlord:
Really people, are you serious?

I was gonna post: "Whatever happend to being funny and clever as opposed to being an angry if eloquent misanthrope foaming at the mouth while rabidly calling everyone a moron?"

Don't you people have better things to do than inflate Yahtzee's already vast ego?

(appologies to those who actually did say something other than "grate as usul" or some variation with worse or better spelling)

Don't even try man, I said something of that nature on the first page of the GTA IV review and they ripped me apart.

They would do that even to the Arab of Magnificence?

But I think of it this way, if I don't reply to the Yahtzee Disciples then I'm immune to their idiocy.

Well, it was simply because they misunderstood me, they thought I was attacking them and calling them stupid or something, but I just tried to do some good for the thread.

Conclusion? It's futile, no yahtzee discussion allowed.

damn, so close, my bro's name is andrew, but you went with adrian T_T
great review :P

a return to form yahtzee, bravo. this is one of the best episodes in a long fucking time.

Except oh wait. The Escapist buys your shit for you.........

LMAO, I do agree with you 100% this time Braid is pretty cool.

(And I've bought and played every game that popped up during your rant on mainstream gamers)

I just wanted to clarify something I said: "This is the first time I've really strongly felt Yahtzee was completely off-base with a review," emphasis on "first time". He's always entertaining, while at the same time being extremely accurate. If he wasn't normally so spot-on, I wouldn't have felt the need to say anything.

Well, I guess I'm not to blame for all the crappiness. I have beaten pchyconaghts, beyond good and evil, and shadow of the collosus at least a year before I even heard of yahtzee. Also, I had bought braid 2 weeks ago. Yay me!

Thank you for blaming the right people including me. Unfortunately I was one of the people who had been buying those crappy driver game without realizing they sucked.

That was fucking Hilarious.

Great fucking job. Loved that review.

You should put some sort of donation link up because that was worthy of a few bucks from me. Setup a paypal account or something to accept donations because that was worth 2 or 3 bucks from me easy!

JOE COOL:
Thank you for blaming the right people including me. Unfortunately I was one of the people who had been buying those crappy driver game without realizing they sucked.

Wow, just wow. You gonna keep riding Yahtzee's cock or is this your stop?

I enjoyed Gears of War, Halo, etc. I also enjoyed Shadow of the Colossus, Psychonauts, Portal,etc.

I know some of you "artsy-fartsy" folk instantly dismiss the next big shooter or sports game just because it overshadows whatever you're looking forward to, but let's be logical here: not every mainstream game is bad just because it's popular with the jocks and frat boys.

Seriously, you think Yahtzee is gonna be your friend just because you mindlessly follow whatever he says? Gimme a break.

(and I get flamed in 3....2....1....)

"I'm special cause I play games nobody heard of"

Something I like to call rebel syndrome. Remember folks, anti-conformatism is just conformatism with a cheap coat of paint thrown over it.

Braid doesn't have any original ideas. Yahtzee just likes games where you goof around with time. Braid is just SNES Donkey Kong with a few elements ripped from Blinx: the Time Sweeper, but instead of a giant ape or cat with goggles, you play a hobbit with dwarfism. weak.

FF 13 anyone?

@ dib_dib:

Actually, I was more in the mood for Gears of War 5.

vamp rocks:
Stephen Colbert is my voice on politics... and Yahtzee is my voice on games... lol XD

wow, make your own decisions tool.

parttimeesthete:

Dramus:
He brought up something that ticks me off, and that's the notion that indie games are somehow better just because they are indie. In fact there are probably just as many shit indie games out there as there are shit mainstream. There are a huge amount of copycat indie games that blatantly rip off other game's ideas (I know because I played all the shift knock offs on onemorelevel (and since shift is a portal knock off, it's like doubly unimaginative). The only difference is that indie games are not hyped (at least not usually), and so if one sucks no one cares because no one plays it. The only indie games most people play are the really good ones, so people get the erroneous idea that all indie games are super creative and good.

This is where you might have misunderstood Yahtzee's (and other's) point of view:
I think he meant that indie games should get more attention of the broad audience, not because they are generally better, but because they have more potential of innovation which can cause them to be better. Of course, the word 'better' in this regard is dependent on the subjective notion of quality that everyone defines for oneself.

So this statement holds mainly for people who see innovation as a huge quality feature like Yahtzee and many others including me.
Now the potential of a title created by an independent developer comes from his absolute freedom to build a game that is really different. Actually an indie developer - assuming that one of his goals is the attention and interest of others for his game - is not only more free to create something unique but is also driven to do so, since indie games, as you implicitly stated, don't get any attention if they are unoriginal.

In contrast, innovation gets thinned out in big commercial titles on a broad, average scope. The reasons are manifold. To name only two of them:
1.) The complexity of the decision and communication process in huge productions with a lot of people involved
(Just like in any other project, a large size makes it less flexible and unwieldy.)

2.) The necessity to please a large audience to be able to amortize monetary investments
(This can also be generalized to represent decisions that are driven by monetary ventures and interests of people in control within the media market, for example publishers.)

Of course, even huge productions can set themselves above this causality sometimes but sadly this requires much more effort and bravery. On the other hand indie developers, along with their creative freedom, have the freedom of producing crap and spreading it on the intertubes since there is absolutely no instance of quality control involved.

This whole mechanic is nothing new and can be observed in the entire media culture.

P.S. Sorry if this sounds too smug.

Not at all. I get that, I'm mainly just venting steam that's been building since XPlay previewed that mushroom men game from Gamecock and said how it's so original because it's a platformer where you're small and so everyday objects look big. No shit. Somehow a feature in Mario 64, Banjo-Kazooie, and probably several other titles is unique solely because the developer has a long list of flops (oh wait I meant to say 'is indie').
On somewhat the same point, I think something great happens when indie and mainstream collide, like what happened with Portal. It's a nice, polished game that managed to reach a lot of people, but is mainly based on some college student's final project in game design 402 or something. The biggest problem with a lot of good indie games is their lack of polish, so hopefully more stuff like this starts happening. And then indie will become the norm and we'll long for cookie cutter sequels in what is known as 'torment anyone who takes a few year to learn the new cool' syndrome.

question when did he become the almighty voice of gaming i mean review funny as hell i mean piss myself laughing funny but people saying yes you're right yahtzee i'm shit in exactly 2 mins after they post the newest video pisses me off

Tumbler360:
That was fucking Hilarious.

Great fucking job. Loved that review.

You like that word, don't you.

Reading through this page gave me a headache. This is the reason I stay out of Yahtzee threads.

Damn you and your nice beaches! (I'm American)

How common is Adrien? I thought he would use a more common name like Ben, Mathew, Paul or something like that.

And finally, way to go on getting a girlfriend:)

Eldritch Warlord:
I was gonna post: "Whatever happened to being funny and clever as opposed to being an angry if eloquent misanthrope foaming at the mouth while rabidly calling everyone a moron?"

Um...I think you did post it. Let me check. Yep. Yep, it's posted.

I can't help but think if games like Fallout 3 weren't required to have a special, Australian version created, removing drug use... perhaps they wouldn't COST so much there.

I don't pretend to understand Australian law, but I'm not real keen on banning games anywhere in any country. If developers have to spend extra money to make sure their game is "Australian Law Proof" then they pretty much have to charge more.

PipChaos:
I can't help but think if games like Fallout 3 weren't required to have a special, Australian version created, removing drug use... perhaps they wouldn't COST so much there.

I don't pretend to understand Australian law, but I'm not real keen on banning games anywhere in any country. If developers have to spend extra money to make sure their game is "Australian Law Proof" then they pretty much have to charge more.

I'm not sure it's that. It MIGHT be, but I barely have any information on this subject.

It's something I'm curious about, though. Not because I'm terribly intent on moving to Australia, but because it's interesting. Have video games just not ever been a very big thing in Oz, hence publishers and manufacturers charge more because it's a specialized market? Is it some tariff thing? Price fixing? Is the Australian dollar somehow in more trouble than the US one?

Evan Waters:

PipChaos:
I can't help but think if games like Fallout 3 weren't required to have a special, Australian version created, removing drug use... perhaps they wouldn't COST so much there.

I don't pretend to understand Australian law, but I'm not real keen on banning games anywhere in any country. If developers have to spend extra money to make sure their game is "Australian Law Proof" then they pretty much have to charge more.

I'm not sure it's that. It MIGHT be, but I barely have any information on this subject.

It's something I'm curious about, though. Not because I'm terribly intent on moving to Australia, but because it's interesting. Have video games just not ever been a very big thing in Oz, hence publishers and manufacturers charge more because it's a specialized market? Is it some tariff thing? Price fixing? Is the Australian dollar somehow in more trouble than the US one?

Actually it could be because video games just don't hit off as much in Australia.
I mean yes they get a fair amount of attention, but no one really cares about them as much as you people in the U.S do. Definetaly not Price fixing and really i don't think our dollar is in much trouble at all....yet.

Good to see an underseen gem sparkling. Shine on, Yahtzee.

I feel good knowing that I purchased and played, 'Beyond Good and Evil' and 'Psychonauts'. Makes me feel like I did my duty as a gamer *dons dinner plate sized gamer medals*. Anyway funny review as always.

I only lament that since I refuse to buy any system that is above 300$ I will have to wait for a very long time before I will even touch that game... Okay done lamenting, I <3 Lost Winds for the Wii too much to lament for long over 360 downloadables for the time being.

Oh, and I hate you Adrian. I hate you so much.

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