Zero Punctuation: Eve Online

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Not joining a player corp is like not shooting people in an fps. Heading out into the pvp area of space with a bunch of friends is fucking awesome

Friends? Yes, it's times like this that I see where Yahtzee gets his whimisical musings. And to be honest, I trialled WoW and I was offered clan membership, admittedly I couldn't take it but I would have refused anyway on the grounds that people I met 30 seconds ago are not people I want to spend significant portions of my time with, engaged in monosyllabic conversation whilst mashing buttons like a recently labotomised laboratory chimp. Friends are the people who you would be ashamed to admit you play MMOs to, and the terror that stems from the possibility that they might find out only proves this point further. MMos are a dark and guilty pleasure like rambling and let us not dicuss the matter further.

That said, ooh, I come from Cheltenham! Yipee...

I'm glad this is seemingly his least favorite MMO to date, because my friend keeps trying to get me to play this bor-fest again after making me play for a month. (he had a gun?) It just makes me glad to see that I'm not the only person that finds it boring and uneventful

Agreed completly with the start about exploration.

Only got space unexplored...

Meh, it was alright. The reviews tend to be better when its for a game Yahtzee is passionate about one way or the other.

Talk about moment of truth. When I saw what the review was this week I was honestly expecting Yahtzee to wank off the game instead of crucify it strictly because EVE advertises on Escapist. I'm really surprised they let him put this video up. I have even more respect towards Escapist now.

I know tangential jokes were a highlight of the early ZPs but I find myself regularly unamused recently.

Really? I thought the last two were the funniest in ages. "The user interface could only be worse if your monitor was at the bottom of a fucking well" is hilarious and the "Adrian" bit from the Braid review had me snorting into my monitor.

Very good review, I nevered played Eve, but my friend has. His comment about it was: "It's a very deep and complex game that requires a lot of skill to master." Which is basically what Mr Yahtzee said in his review.

Good review, for a 14 day trial. Sticking to the NPC corp and only playing for 14 days doesn't justify the game wish it did, but the game is so much bigger than that.

Mreh. Not impressed. I did chuckle a few times. But on the whole, YOU'VE DONE BETTER YAHZEE. You keep picking older games, too. What's next? Pacman?

Hehe, awesome review as always and he's actually right about the most things.

I tried EVE on a friend's alternate account, and indeed it was much like this.

Good call on the paying to have a second job.

Are you going to reply to PurePwnage's take on Zero Punctuation entitled "Zero Coordination"?

The problem is that EVE has a fairly steep Learning Curve. By avoiding a player run corp you pretty much obviated the one thing that could have made the game fun and playable, that is experience from other players. You missed out on so much of EVE by dint of your choice of play style, much like stumbling around a library with no knowledge of the cataloging system and refusing the help of librarians and just trying to find what your looking for at random. But then, if you had actually managed to have fun, you couldn't write a biting review of it, so I suppose it's best that you played the game blind.

I don't really have a problem with MMOs, but this review reinforces my view that one should pick an MMO and stick with it. Quite unfortunate if the support goes belly up.

Never played an online RPG (not even one set in space) and never intend to.
Thanks be to Yahtzee for putting my reasons into words that I never could.
What I would like however is a really good space strategy. Something like 'Total War', but with space battles. Maybe, with all the millions they must have lying around (come on, they must have lots of money now, what with having produced one of the most successfull strategy franchises ever - behind Civilisation and everything with the word 'Sim' in it. But anyway, the point is, they must have oodles now) they could buy up the names of certain famous space villians, get George Lucas to whore himself out even more....

I think he kind of missed out on the player corps. If he tried to join one he would have had another umpteen paragraphs to write about all that is wrong on EVE.

But to give the game some credit it is deeper than that pit in 300 if it was linked via portals. Though it's one for those with an insane amount of spare time and a brain the size of a small melon to understand all the skills.

I personally prefer things where I can roll my face across the keyboard and shout obscenities at strangers.

So. Back to World of Warcraft it is.

Nice flame lol. I played the thing for a day and quit since getting blown to bits and buying everything from the fucking start isn't very entertaining... Pretty nice vid though A* Yahtzee.

Heh, if he "didn't want to have anything to do with the player-run corporations", of course he found EVE-Online boring as hell.

The PvE of EVE is beyond pathetic, and I've been playing EVE for well over 2 years now.
The whole PvE side of the game (what he used almost exclusively) is merely an excuse to spend time "grinding" the in-game money so that you feel comparatively miffed by losses you incurr in PvP.
Of course, some just buy in-game cash with real money indirectly (pay for another player's subscription, he "pays" you in-game cash for that), but still, when you screw up, it hurts the wallet nevertheless... be it your real-life wallet, in-game wallet or both.

If you're not going to engage in PvP of any kind in EVE (be is ship vs ship in space or ingame wallet vs ingame wallet via the market), then you might as well not even try it out, of course you'll hate it intensely.
Also, if you're going to try solo PvP of any kind, you're going to get bored sooner rather than later too... it's in the screaming, teaming masses of hitting-eachother-in-the-head group PvP where EVE actually starts to shine.

i enjoy Eve when i get the time ot play it but i dont disagree entirely with any point he makes there :P thats why we love his reviews so. He tells it like it is without fanboyism

I enjoy the game immensly and I have never laughed so god damn hard in my entire life.

Best was the mistress under the desk when he mentioned the corp guy neglecting his wife. Look closely it's there.


The only decent mmo is warhammer online. God damn is that shit fun, cant wait for beta to start up again this weekend.

For someone who hates MMO games he certainly reviews a few of them.

Can i have your items?

I honestly wonder how Yahtzee regards people who come in here and regurgitate his his employed vocabulary in order to sound smart.

Yes, I'm talking about you guys.

Played EVE more than a year ago, played it again earlier this year. I really do like it because it's more intelligent. Oh yes, I mean that. It's more intelligent, it is actually a lot more than just the one click because early on you have to figure out when your in optimal range and really quickly you have to reset your targeting systems to the next one before the first one blows up, or else the crushing number of drones may overwhelm you. But that said I did get tired of it after a while. Even if it was some gleeful fun screaming through a solar system at three kilometers a second with my micro warp drive. It takes a long time to get where you want to be in EVE but there's reward to it. I can see why Yahtzee wouldn't like it.
The review itself- thank the gods he's getting funny again but I've had my fill of him pissing about his viewers. Seriously. I run a tae kwon do school, I hate some of my customers but I don't tell them to their faces.

Best was the mistress under the desk when he mentioned the corp guy neglecting his wife. Look closely it's there.

I saw that too and was like..."wait...really?" Anyway, I had a very similar experience to his (and many posters on the first page), and I can only think that maybe Eve is a "niche" game...for people that like that sort of thing. Personally, I found Eve dull.

The interface reference with the well made me chuckle...very true.

I tried EVE online and was able to get into it for a while, but then gave up after falling asleep at the keyboard while in battle with *insert color and animal name here* pirates...

I wish I was kidding

It can't try to be WoW because it was out BEFORE WoW. Like, back in 2001. Or atleast that was the Beta of it...

Point being, WoW tries to be it.

"A game for people that are to nerds what nerds are to normal people"
Truly brilliant.

I enjoy EVE. I just wish people would fight my alliance more. Sitting inside a POS for 6 hours waiting to counter-drop someones capital ships and then being told ot log off because the enemy won't commit is often a downer.

So I just go scamming with an empire alt.

Look. Another expert review from an expert who is expert enough to think he can play the game for 2 days and give it some worthy video or article.

If you want simple and stupid, stick to single player. MMOs in general give you back what you put into them. Welcome to earth, where in all ways you will not give someone a dime and get back a 100 dollar bill.

Back when eve was 10 times worse that it is reviewed as here, The Escapist did an article praising it:

I don't know why it is not there anymore, but the article was detailing this:

The Escapist reveled in that eve was brutal and allowed for the darkest bits of treachery in an MMO.

I generally like these insulting vids, and I must now consider myself a fanboi for frowning at a half ass review by someone who doesn't know what an Ferrari Enzo doing a test drive and slamming the car for being uncontrollable.

That is all.

It can't try to be WoW because it was out BEFORE WoW. Like, back in 2001. Or atleast that was the Beta of it...

Point being, WoW tries to be it. That doesn't even make sense. Unless you never played wow.

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