Zero Punctuation: Too Human

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oh i like the lil hand shake icon
it says
I can has friend

*must go satisfy craving for lolcats*
i will be on icanhascheezburger

bai

The review was great and hilarious as always. However...

I got a feeling that the proportion of Yahtzee/adverts in the videos gets more and more messed up with every new review. The whole video is about 11 minutes while only less than half of it is Yahtzee's review. About 6 freaking minutes are adverts. Adverts that presumably no-one even watches. And that little... I don't even know how to call it.. advert trailer at the beginning of the video... I know you guys need to place advertisements on the site to make money on it, but that's just too fucking much. Thank you.

The funniest thing about this review is that on Tuesday I left a post begging Yahtzee to bash this game. LOL, this game deserved every bit of Yahtzee shit it just got. This game is bad for no reason. Things that are totally broken are thrown in just for the sake of being different. Yet, this game still has fans that will defend it to the death.

The only thing I can disagree on is that there are penalties for dying.

1. Your equipment breaks.
2. Your (all powerful universe centering) combo meter goes back down to 0. In some classes this makes you even slower and weaker than wet shit crawling up a sand dune.
3. The most obvious penalty is to watch the Valkyrie cinema.

LOL, after playing the game I read up on Baldur to gain more clarity on his background. I also found it funny that Baldurs mom LITERALLY begged everything under the son not to beat up her son (except mistletoe).

I think he hates this game just slightly more than I do... I didn't think that was possible...

AmrasCalmacil:
I can't help but wonder why you didn't get forced into doing Spore.

Because reviewing another EA game would draw attention away from the ads about age of reckoning.

I was going to download the demo and play it, but after watching it, I'm more-than-likely not going to, given all the game play issues and what-have-you. Especially with the annoying death cut scene, which cannot be skipped.

Susan Arendt:

Eggo:
Wait a minute...Someone else actually played Eternal Darkness?

Have my children, Yahtzee.

Um...who didn't play Eternal Darkness?

Everyone who doesn't think Silicon Knights should have been working on a sequel to Eternal Darkness after the development of the first ED instead of going right back to Too Human.

That's a whole lot of people. And other than myself, I have yet to see anyone post about Eternal Darkness on these forums :sad:

Oh, and good luck to anyone trying to find a new copy of Eternal Darkness, a game which is over six years old, for under $60. And after Yahtzee mentions the game in this review, I doubt you'll be able to find it for under $100 :p

I can't even begin to understand how a game ten years in development could have been so screwed up... awesome review as always, though! And I agree: the reviews where Yahtzee clearly hates the game are a lot more fun to watch. :D

"Baldur's Gait" and "The Hammer Is Made Of Wank" are my new favorite fantasy band names. Thanks Yahtz!

haha loved this review, im still gonna get too human because im gonna have to disagree with yahtzee, i freaking love this game (played the demo and a level at friends house) i would love to see yahtzee rip apart spore because i love the game, also id like to see a pokemon review :D

Yatz oughta try Max Payne if he wants a better use of Norse mythos. Good review, 'thou.

If you've spent more then five years on a game.. When you release it there should be a law that it has to be a perfect game.. Or you're locked in the stockades with your rear sticking out to the public so they can take turns kicking you in the balls for wasting time you could have been spending making a good game.

t3h m3ss1ah:
Great video, back on form with this one, very funny

Can I just ask, does anyone even watch the trailers at the end?

Not a single one

lukey94:
also id like to see a pokemon review :D

HAHAH oh man it's both awful and hilarious to think of Yahtzee playing pokemon, but hey... Pokemon Platinum is coming out soon and then there will be an English version around the corner..

Again, I can't venture much of an opinion rather than finding Yahtzee's humour brilliant as I do not own a next-generation console. However, it's nice to see Painkiller get another nod.

Had to watch the video on my laptop since Firefox crashes on my desktop for no particular reason. And I'm not even using Vista.

EDIT: When Our Hero is lacerating his gums on the end of a rusty tin... is he hopping on the express line to Jokertown, apt to run into church after church asking so-called "Christians" why they're so serious?

Loved the review but at the same time its a shame cos the game did look promising on paper. Im a huge survival/rush game fan and have played Serious Sam1 and 2 and Painkiller. They are fantastic fun and Too Human looked to be another. Owell having Yahtzee shit all over it makes it bitter sweet. (ED2 ne1?)

As for the adds not to be nit picky but ye a bit too much. Now i dont mind the WAR add so much cos i mean its pretty cool. But although i do have a rather large download cap per month but put enough adds onto everything and it adds up,and with no way to stop/cancel it. Advertising is money but maybe a 30sec add instead of 5mins? Just a thought

No. No. Bad.

You do not post a review that ends up being sixty-percent fucking commercial.

Yahtzee's review was four minutes fourty-three seconds long. The other six-plus minutes was you trying to sell me things.

That cheesy Warhammer online trailer tagged on the end looks awful.

While you should never really rely on a demo i must say i thought that the Too Human demo was utter horse shit...so im glad really to hear that the rest of the game is like that...

Where's... Spore...? :/

Surggical_Scar:
I doubt Yahtzee is going out of his way to flip off a huge 'Screw You' to EA, but he sticks to his guns - if he doesn't like a gae, he tears it a new arsehole.

Was that a Freudian Slip?

I seen Yahtzee accused of being racist before, now he's homophobic?

Haha, love it wen a really shit game comes out. Means its going to be a great ZP. Hope you murder Spore next week Yahtzee. The Creature Creator is fun, but thats it. Its such a shame and you killing it with a hammer mad of wank would really make me feel better.

A hammer made of wank? Oh, that's going to get very messy...

This is to me his least funny review but one that I agree on with 100% for the first time. I was very dissapointed with this game no matter how hard I try to like it (and I'm a very forgiving gamer).

Mark B:
Also not working in Opera. :(

That's weird, I'm using Opera and it worked fine for me.

I haven't even heard of this game prior to this review. Thank you for bringing it to my attention so I can put it on the list of games I'll never play.

I'm sorry but when the commercials are longer than the video content something is seriously wrong.

Who does The Escapist think they are? MTV?

WOW out of all the games you reviewed this one sounded the worst! I especially hate it when games have little movie scenes that you cannot skip.

Its great that you have given a purpose to bad games.

I'm not familiar with the game, but it was a fun review nonetheless. He smashed the came, but did so with apparently genuine content. The problem arises when Ben is so eager to criticize a game (apparently to please the bloodlust of his viewers) he does so at the expense of reviewing context objectively. Ben went overboard with Age of Conan and Oblivion, games that have valid criticisms but did not earn the utter smashing than Ben lavished on them. There's an awful temptation to do this with Spore.

Insightful reviewing beats humor every time. Without good analysis of the games Ben is just another cranky hack. With good analysis he's one of the best reviewers the internet has to offer.

Nice one. Yahtzee's still got it. I laughed alot at "baldur's gait"

@CuteKitten

There's a funny thing that happens with "cult-of-personality" reviewers like Yahtzee.

Even if they say "this is a steaming pile of offal that I wouldn't keep in a sani-can let alone my home, a loved one's home, or even the home of someone who, let's say, made Daikatana (ha ha)" some people are going to buy it, if nothing else to share the terrible experience of the reviewer who they so desperately desire to be.

Edit -- has anyone noticed that preview doesn't work? Is it firefox? Good thing that edit does.

Me, I'm hoping to find the time to neglect my children in favor of trying the trial of Eve Online, because I am actually something of a nerd, and I play space shooters in the hope that they will be Escape Velocity Override or Privateer again.

The really sad thing? We were hearing bad word about this game TWO YEARS AGO:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/7/10/better-late-than-never/

Check the news post.

Annoying guitar rashing is still a terrible intro.

That single Baldur's Gate pun made the entire review worth it. Just that. EVerything else had some funny in it, but that alone made it gold.

Once again Yahtzee, very good work. This part especially: ALLAH AKBAR!

xD I laughed until there was tears.

HAHA! Nicely put for the valkyries yahtzee! Pointless and time wasting whores....

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