Zero Punctuation: Too Human

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This one was really fucking funny.

The Valkyrie scene just hid the little loading screen you usually get when a game is reloading your last checkpoint or whatever it's called.
Ok, maybe the first time it's okay to overlook this, but shouldn't these reviewers have learnt something after the elevator in mass effect?

I think perhaps the world may not yet be ready for this technique, since it seems to induce anger far more than any appreciation.

A fair enough comparison, however, at least BioWare attempted to make the elevator scenes somewhat more bearable by having the newscast that plays during them reflect your actions in the game. Also, you have to keep in mind that the Valkyrie loading takes place smack in the middle of a fight. Your adrenaline is racing, you're in the middle of a crowd of goblins and trolls, and you suddenly have to wait for a bloody Valkyrie to swoop down and take you to Valhalla -- meanwhile, you can still see the battle going on behind you. In Mass Effect, you're simply traveling from one part of a building to the next -- not terribly exciting -- so when you find yourself stuck in the elevator for a few seconds, it's far less aggravating.

I understand the concept behind the Valkyrie, certainly, and on paper it makes sense, but in practice it's awful.

Susan Arendt:
I understand the concept behind the Valkyrie, certainly, and on paper it makes sense, but in practice it's awful.

SK definitely should have "mixed it up" a bit and done some different animations or scenes... or maybe transitional effects on the screen to insert some variety in the death animation and loading screen thing.

-- Steve

I will admit that this review was classic.

I have to say the yatzee is right in saying the left analog stick should only be used for camera angles.

But please yatzee please!!!!!!!


It has got to be one of the worst god games I have ever played I cant even enjoy the start of game. It just so damn boring. I have to say that god games have dropped a new low in creation games.


Is it just me, or is Yahtzee speaking a lot slower these days? I re-watched a few of the old eps for shits and giggles, and his delivery pace seems much more frenetic and energetic. Perhaps the number of bad games released this year is wearing on him?

Edit: Yes, spore sucks. Nowhere near as bad as Black & White though. I'm proud to say I called that game as shit when the mass market magazine reviews were calling it one of the greatest games ever made (funny how they all call it rubbish in hindsight).

Dear god, a day went by and this is already 8 pages long?

Yahtzee should have his own fucking subforum.

And what's with the "This episode was brought to you by Glock, the gun for the modern woman." ?

This review was alright for the most part. Is it me or does it sound like Yahtzee's voice is slowing down somewhat?

I don't think the Valkyrie is hiding a loading screen, as in multiplayer the action keeps going for the other person, and even in single player you're not actually loading anything. I'm pretty sure the wait is the actual death penalty (along with the negligible durability damage).

The game does have actual overly-long elevators that are probably hiding loading screens though.

Also, while he did have a good point about the ranged damage, there is a ranged damage class (the commando) which does much, much more damage with his guns. My Berserker with his 90 damage gun shots versus his 2k damage sword swings... :( Almost makes me consider rerolling a Commando just for GRNDL and Garm.

The best part about Too Human is it shows which reviewers suck at video games. These guys obviously do judging from the review, or maybe they suffer from bias. Either way, their reviews shouldn't be taken for anything other than entertainment.

It was funny but terribly inaccurate. Bad controls? What? Shooting can be hit or miss, thats true, but the melee is excellent and the camera isn't a problem at all if you have even the slightest skill playing a video game. He mentions that baldur pauses after each hit, did this fool even realize you can hold the stick down to keep attacking? Combat is very fluid.

I had no idea about all the preconcieved ideas people had about this game. I liked the demo, bought the game, and enjoyed it. It's only problem is that it's a bit too short.

Seems like a lot of these reviewers try it, die, and say "Oh this game sucks because I died and I'm too dumb to learn to play it."

O well, another site exposes themselves.

The game is actually a lot of fun. You won't be able to mindlessly walk through it, which it seems is what this guy wanted. It isn't even that hard, but it's harder than most of the crap that comes out these days.

Try it for yourself. For whatever reason this game is not getting fair reviews, but it least it's exposing who can write a decent review and who can't. It's the best action rpg to come out in quite some time and some of the things I read in reviews are just plain stupid.

The reviews that made an attempt to actually learn to play (unlike gamespot where their armor is broken in almost every movie lol) have pretty much nailed it. 7-8 depending on your tastes.

Again, try it for yourself. Sites like these are more joke than review. I hope this is a wake up call for a lot of people. Too many review sites are not writing fair reviews and can not be trusted.

Hahah the advertisements on that were longer than the video itself!

Would like to see Mercenaries 2 next, o basher of games. Hate the new format, I miss the songs you chose and god, get rid of all that other crap after the review.

My roommate was really looking forward to Too Human, until a customer (She works at GameCrazy), came in to return the game the day after it released, saying he beat it in only 9 hours. So perhaps their promise of long game play was that they expect you to die 50+ times, and be forced to waste time watching the re-spawn video each time just so that they could justify the long game play.

Nice! Harsh vid this week.

Oh and sell out more escapist.

Yeah.....the game was pretty shit.


Great job totally destroying this game, it more than deserves that assailing. I'm also glad that you think Serious Sam is good. I've been playing that game with my friends and I think its better than 10 barrels of fun and sex... well maybe not sex but definitely fun. It's more fun than I've ever had playing WC3 or WoW or anything else remotely multiplayer. I won't request a review of SS and all its myriad versions, but I will thank you for noting that in the review as it has made my day. So thanks Yahtzee.

yathzee is funny and the too human people are cruel. that analog stick has to much stress he needs to stick with camering

ya this new vide ostuff is awesome an d i loved condemened one

Yet another game I'm glad I didn't purchase, yet since I've watched this, I've been wondering how a hammer can be made out of wank...Still, it's Yahtzee humour, and it made me chuckle, I almost expected there to be no Baldur's Gate reference too, I was glad to be hit by that one.

Oh and...What's the deal with the adverts now being longer than the actual video? Not trying to bitch or anything, just wondering.

The Ad's are at the END. Quit whining.

I dunno... I love the whole idea of the universe, I really wanna know where this went wrong. It seems to be Dyack and Silicon Knights trapped themselves in a pet project they couldn't deliver on.

I wanted this game to be good, so badly. Maybe i'll rent it...or something... *sob*

Funny and entertaining review as always.
That said i very much enjoy Too Human, its a little different and takes a bit to learn but fun.
The game has a slew of issues mainly cause time and money ran out but most of the issues arent that game affecting. After you learn how to use the combat system fighting goes unbelievably smoothly. Most fights take me a few seconds to clear out and i love trying to top my old combo score. The main thing here is we have what is infecting modern gaming now a days. Its not halo/GoW/Guitar hero so it sucks mentalities which is pretty much stiffling the making of any really good games. I so wish gameing would be uncool again cause when it was games were so fun and enjoyable and origional.

Unfortunately the entire future of St. Catherines, Ontario was riding on this game. Guess there wont be an economic boom after all. At any rate yeah, Yahtzee was bang on with this one. Too Human's only saving grace is that it wasn't the mega turd Pariah was.

Holy shit, that was brutal! One of his best reviews yet.

It sucks that that game sucked. I wanted a good sci-fi based on norse mythology to bad. Good review tho.

It sucks that that game sucked. I wanted a good sci-fi based on norse mythology to bad. Good review tho.

It's not a review, it's a joke. Try the game.

I remember this site having a video about how games are getting too easy. Kind of funny that he cries at the slightest bit of difficulty. From his comments it's pretty clear he didn't even understand very basic control aspects. While entertaining, it's a pitiful review.

There's a reason many people in the industry are speaking out and defending this game. It's fun.

Okay, I am really curious now. That is the fourth time yahtzee has referenced a game using the Infinity Engine, three times baldur's gate and one time planescape. Now I really have to know what he thinks of those games.

I want to know that myself. He could be using them because he loves them or because he finds them overrated and wants to poke fun at them every time he gets a chance.

is there a game you actuality like Yahtzee

is there a game you actuality like Yahtzee

He listed his 5 favourite games a few weeks ago, weren't you paying attention?

really i must of missed them was it in a review

Does anyone know where I can find the video that contains the joke about the Simpsons jumping the shark, killing the shark, eating the shark, shitting out the shark, and then jumping the shit?

it may not be a zero punctuation, but I was almost certain it was.

Very good this week, several classic lines, Yahtzee rocks.

And here is a game I had started off as being rather enthusiastic about. Being from the fellows who brought us Eternal Darkness, it seemed like we'd found some gold up there in Canada. They'd made one masterpiece, beloved by all; followed by The Twin Snakes, which, though not great, was at least the best one could hope for, considering the task they were given. Closing in upon Too Human's release, the reviews started trickling though, and getting me a little concerned. But not being the sort of guy who's going to judge a game by a few internet reviews, I picked up the demo, to see how it worked for me.

My muzzled enthusiasm soon turned to unbridled horror.

In the space of five minutes, I resolved not to touch the game again, until I saw a post-release review from a trusted source begging me to give it a go. Then Yahtzee stepped in and sealed the deal for me; no money for Silicon Knights until they do their homework and play a good game or two, and get back on track.

Oh wow, I haven't laughed this hard at a Zero Punctuation in quite a while, though Too Human really does deserve it. The game really is too frustrating to play, which is fine, since all the fanboys that like it can do so and keep out of actual good games and not pollute other fanbases.

That said, looking forward to the eventual Spore review as well.

I want to know that myself. He could be using them because he loves them or because he finds them overrated and wants to poke fun at them every time he gets a chance.

You can't seriously have ever not thought 'Baldur's Gate' to yourself as you play the game and hear his name.

[Fanboy ranting]

No, the game sucks quite hard. The shooting system is utterly retarded so people that like to play ranged characters are pretty much fucked unless they like spamming the grenade launcher since actually trying to melee as a Commando is a good way to get raped, and the melee combat isn't good either. There's a time where innovation just becomes retarded, and that's around the time where you create a combat system that requires you to hold a control stick in the direction you want to attack.

You've obviously only come here today to defend your precious garbage game and haven't actually seen any of the other videos, which quite shockingly, are all quite true. Just because you're a blind,r aging fanboy shouldn't stop you from your incessant whining though, I'm just content in the fact that you wasted $70 or so and I only spent $8 on a rental I returned early.

the melee and shooting is fine your just too useless with a controller to know that pc is where you belong

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