Zero Punctuation: Spore

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That's right SD. You show well grounded independent thought who's boss. Remember, it's not if the game is good or bad. It's if it's popular. Baa.

Actualy, its the exact opposite. I think the posters point is that it doesnt matter if Ben and his army of ravenous fans dislike the game, its if the game is worth playing that matters.

But you tried to have an origional thought, so i gotta give you some points for effort.

And spore DOES suck! Wake up and smell your own semen stained pants, fanboys! I've been playing Sim games for years, and I've beaten ones I doubt many of you even knew existed. I wouldn't piss on Spore if it was on fire, largely because I'm probably the one with the gasoline and matches.p

As someone else pointed out, you cant beat games like that.
But the real problem with this post is that the poster comes off as a raving Sims fanboy who doesnt like the new direction of Spore. Try to turn down the fanwank a little next time.

And he also fails in that he has revealed a pyromaniac tendancy.
REMEMBER KIDS- Mr. Yahtzee might be able to pull off the raving misanthrope bit for comedy, but most people who try it (Hitler, for example) dont come off nearly as funny.

Hype hype hype. If this game wasn't hyped, it wouldn't be hated. Simple as that. But we had to hear for MONTHS and MONTHS that this game was going to change the way we thought about gaming, it was the second coming, yadda yadda. This is a problem Spore brought on itself. That's why I have no sympathy.

You have a point, but my personal take is to not blame games themselves for market hype. In fact, i take it one step further by not paying much attention to hype. The last six months before its release the only thing i would accept about spore was the information on its release date, which i took with a grain of salt.
No looking up features online
No visiting fansites
No visiting official websites
No purchasing the creature creator
Distance onself from the hype and it is but the babbling of raindrops ouside your sheltered cave.

I remember that SimAnt could be beaten.

You have a point, but my personal take is to not blame games themselves for market hype. In fact, i take it one step further by not paying much attention to hype. The last six months before its release the only thing i would accept about spore was the information on its release date, which i took with a grain of salt.
No looking up features online
No visiting fansites
No visiting official websites
No purchasing the creature creator
Distance onself from the hype and it is but the babbling of raindrops ouside your sheltered cave.

You're right. It's often the media surrounding the games that hype them up to this level, and the fanboys of course. The problem is that Will Wright or whoever is in question is never going to try to quell the buzz because from a business standpoint, that's retarded. I do what you do, which is try to stay away from the hype as much as possible. I got burned by Halo 2, which stank, and Halo 3, which was mediocre. So now I just shut it all out and try to expose myself to as little hype as possible. Because that ruins it for me.

Excellent, more splenetic juices erupted upon the tawdry corpse of Spore. I agree with everything that "Mr. Yahtzee" as we're apparently now calling him on everything - although to be perfectly honest, I was expecting him to hate it more. I don't hate the game, but I hate the hype, and I hate it "overall". The stages are fun for a while, but it's all just mini-games leading up to a broken Space Stage. I think "highly disappointed and sickened with hype" should suffice.

Perhaps I'm the only one who saw past the end of their nose for once and saw that the game was getting suspiciously more media coverage than most games. The Sims 3 is going to make an utter fortune, but they're not submitting that to Anthropology professors or something ludicrous - so I fail to see just how getting National Geographic to wank them off for a rather long time is going to help them. They are quite clearly capable of making a good game, I'm just wondering hat went wrong on Maxis's end, myself.

As far as expectations go, though, I think I have to agree with Yahtzee. Did anybody watch Spore's original revealing at GDC 2006? It was definitely a different beast back then, more substance, less charm. That's the game the gamers waited for, while during development the game seems to have turned around and become more for casuals.

It's still for the hardcore, just a different kind of hardcore player. The depth and strategy of the game is all in the creators, not in any of the objective-based gameplay.

Oh, and I did see the GDC 2006 demo. Frankly, not much has changed aside from blood and more roaming creatures. Watch it again and I think you'll be surprised at how much your inflated expectations have filled in the blanks.

I dont hate Spore its amusing and I like that kind of game where I can make my own challenges rather than mindlessly adhere to what some other person thinks is fun. I do agree that there wasnt as much depth as I expected but then again the original Sims was prettty limited. I feel like they rushed to finish it and in doing so left out a lot of content hopefully they will release an expansion pack to flesh it out soon. And I do realise that the word expansion pack will probably get me flamed buts thats just my opinion.

Revelo:
Wonderful, Hillarious as ever. Especially the long drawn out NOOOOO!

OK, a lot of people have posted about how awesome this was. I could not re-watch this reviewbecause of it. I would say never do this again. It was funny, then it got tiring, then it got funny because he was pushing it obviously too far, then it got tiring again.

The fact that it was artificially extended and the sound levels were off was really distracting and ultimately detracted from the show. I know adjusting sound isn't easy, and it was a good enough effect for the tools at hand, but it was a bad addition.

Am I reviewing a review? I'm so lame...

Ah, true and godd as always Yahtzee.

That was awesome.... not stale at all....

I still have not made a penis...

ha HA!
not that good

Spore was terrible, it isn't the life sim it was 5 years ago. Will Wright came out and ADMITTED, PROUDLY, that he spent that time dumbing the game down to sell to casual players. So yeah, Will Wright is no longer awesome.

Great review, one of the funniest yet, you're on a roll with the awesome Too Human review. Soo.. Star Wars this week? Not like you wouldn't have the time to play it.. Darn short game.

I very much enjoyed this review.
I have noticed that Yahtzee has a tendency to review akin to Charlie Brooker.
Anyone else see the similarity? No? Well then you can all go fuck yourselves.
La la la la la

Edit:
Because of the nature of this comment I feel the need to remark that this is intended as a joke.
I in no way condone the abhorrent act of self-fuckery.

I enjoyed this review as well, but since I heard Yahtzee on the Australian Gamer podcast, I had a feeling this would be next. The fifteen second "No" was amusing, and shows that Yahtzee has no problem holding his breath for an extended period of time. Now, where did he managed to get that skill...?

The Sound Defense:
Bite me Rag. Yahtzee is not the ultimate standard regarding a game's quality.

You'll have to point out where I indicated that he was. And I don't know you well enough to want to bite you.

Muphin_Mann:
Actualy, its the exact opposite. I think the posters point is that it doesnt matter if Ben and his army of ravenous fans dislike the game, its if the game is worth playing that matters. [...] REMEMBER KIDS- Mr. Yahtzee might be able to pull off the raving misanthrope bit for comedy, but most people who try it (Hitler, for example) dont come off nearly as funny.

If that was the posters point, you and I both know he certainly failed to indicate it well.

And tell me you didn't just compare Yahtzee to Hitler. What, pray do tell, has brought you to this statement?

He's just adhering to Godwin's Law and admitting defeat.

TaboriHK:
Hype hype hype. If this game wasn't hyped, it wouldn't be hated. Simple as that. But we had to hear for MONTHS and MONTHS that this game was going to change the way we thought about gaming, it was the second coming, yadda yadda. This is a problem Spore brought on itself. That's why I have no sympathy.

See, I personally missed most the hype. I knew the games premise and saw about two preview videos on youtube. And still I expected more. They toned down the depth that they needed.

Still, maybe I do prove your point. I don't hate the game. It's kind of fun. I can see hating it if the hype caught me.

Ragdrazi:

See, I personally missed most the hype. I knew the games premise and saw about two preview videos on youtube. And still I expected more. They toned down the depth that they needed.

Still, maybe I do prove your point. I don't hate the game. It's kind of fun. I can see hating it if the hype caught me.

Count yourself lucky. I typically shrink from hype like a vampire from sunlight and I still felt it jammed down my throat with this game. I have a really difficult time hating a game that I don't previously know anything about. It has to be REALLY bad for that to happen. I haven't played Spore, because I'm waiting until I more or less forget about it as the entity it was originally presented as so that I can enjoy. Also, I don't like the DRM thing and hopefully that will go away.

What happened to the Killer 7 argument?

"The flaws are irrelevant because you have to play it for the utter uniqueness alone"

But it's not unique. It's just a logical progression of previously-established themes in Wright's work, as stated in the review. There have been other games that depicted evolution, and each stage of this game individually has already been done better by other games. Also stated in the review.

I bought the game after watching a friend play through the first two stages (then I had to leave) to support mr. Wright for making an inventive new game - and I feel dirty because of it. It was ONLY the two first stages that were kind of inventive - and they got tiresome awfully quick because of how shallow also they actually were - and the rest of the game was a huge pile of dogshit.

Let's just say I sold the game 3 days after I bought it. 5 flash games put together with some dried paint does not make a game worth playing.

Wright is to gaming what Burton is to making movies. He got one lucky shot with Edward Scissorhands, then he continued on and made a bunch of dreadful musicals.

Chimp:

Wright is to gaming what Burton is to making movies. He got one lucky shot with Edward Scissorhands, then he continued on and made a bunch of dreadful musicals.

BUT HE MADE BATMAN RETURNS YOU GUYS?

maxusy3k:

Chimp:

Wright is to gaming what Burton is to making movies. He got one lucky shot with Edward Scissorhands, then he continued on and made a bunch of dreadful musicals.

BUT HE MADE BATMAN RETURNS YOU GUYS?

Yes. Yes he did. No acknowledgment for that though. That's still like stumbling around with a knife in your back, instead of having your throat slit open. You still die, only a little bit slower. But alright, you're right, it's impossible to even compare Batman Returns to a musical. Batman Returns is still a mediocre movie, while a musical is more of a visual story with some dreadful music in the background, while breaking every fundamental rule there is to movie making.

The movie you're searching for is Batman Begins and that was by Cristopher Nolan. ;) But I guess Burton could take some credit for showing Nolan what you should avoid when making a solid Batman movie.

Uhh, no. Tim Burton did Batman Returns, which up until Dark Knight, was in my opinion the best Batman film.

TaboriHK:
Uhh, no. Tim Burton did Batman Returns, which up until Dark Knight, was in my opinion the best Batman film.

While I think you're absolutely wrong, it's not like it's a major accomplishment. How many competitors did he have actually? The other movies made by himself, featuring a metrosexual Robin sidekick, or his competitor featuring a laughable Governator on ice? Or could we count such masterpieces as the side story with a leathery Halle Berry as Catwoman?

Wright got Sim City right, it was a great theme. Then he continued on with making e-Barbie for grownups, until hitting this trainwreck called Spore.

(Sleepy Hollow and Big Fish were good though, I have to give Burton credit for that. It's his horrible addiction for making utter crap musicals that drags him down, kind of like a catholic priest having a huge urge for [insert totally taboo subject for priests here].)

hakadalmann:
What happened to the Killer 7 argument?

"The flaws are irrelevant because you have to play it for the utter uniqueness alone"

I think that's undone by him citing since it borrows from 5 other games it can't possibly be unique

and yet NMH (which falls into the K7 argument) borrowed from GTA

Chimp:
While I think you're absolutely wrong, it's not like it's a major accomplishment. How many competitors did he have actually? The other movies made by himself, featuring a metrosexual Robin sidekick, or his competitor featuring a laughable Governator on ice? Or could we count such masterpieces as the side story with a leathery Halle Berry as Catwoman?

Just because the competitors were cinematic abortions doesn't mean the originals weren't good. Remember, back then the expectation was to stick as close to the comic as possible, which is why the fact that he could still pull out a serious film is so impressive. Batman Begins was a great movie, but it didn't hit me on an emotional level like Returns did at the time. Two hit movies that more or less stand the test of time is a major accomplishment, last time I checked.

TaboriHK:

Just because the competitors were cinematic abortions doesn't mean the originals weren't good. Remember, back then the expectation was to stick as close to the comic as possible, which is why the fact that he could still pull out a serious film is so impressive. Batman Begins was a great movie, but it didn't hit me on an emotional level like Returns did at the time. Two hit movies that more or less stand the test of time is a major accomplishment, last time I checked.

yeah the spore review was gre- wait what?

@Yahtze
you do realize you created another meme?

anyway, great review (as always), i completely agree with this one

Great review.

H.R.Shovenstuff:

TaboriHK:

Just because the competitors were cinematic abortions doesn't mean the originals weren't good. Remember, back then the expectation was to stick as close to the comic as possible, which is why the fact that he could still pull out a serious film is so impressive. Batman Begins was a great movie, but it didn't hit me on an emotional level like Returns did at the time. Two hit movies that more or less stand the test of time is a major accomplishment, last time I checked.

yeah the spore review was gre- wait what?

Just us children prattling about Batman again.

Out of curiosity, does anyone even watch the 5+ minutes of ads slapped on the end?

And tell me you didn't just compare Yahtzee to Hitler. What, pray do tell, has brought you to this statement?

Only in the sense that they are both hate-filled raving lunatics. But Yahtzee comes off as less evil and meglomaniacal otherwise.

My intent was to warn others not to copy Yahtzee lest they go the Hitler route.

Hi! Long time reader, first time poster.

First off...there was A LOT of punctuation in this review.

Second off...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I disagree with what you said. Usually I can see your points even if they are nitpicks, and so I play your videos to my fanboy/fangirl friends to take apart everything they love and hold dear to them and laugh as they are reduced to their knees in a shivering waterfall of tears having been deafened by the truth. (Your Halo, Peggle, Manhunt, Super Smash Brothers, Condemned 2, RE: Umbrella Chronicles videos and God of War videos did wonders!) However I must speak up Yahtzee and not because I'm a fanboy and must defend my religion against your blasphemous spiel but because I enjoyed Spore and absolutely hated the Sims and what it now represents. It's not a bad thing to experiment and try new game mechanics. Spore isn't trying to be anything else it's doing something new. That is the magic of Will Wright and Wright knows we need more designers like him instead of the guy making World of Mumorpugherland : The Burning Wallet and Call of Brothers In Duty earning the Medal of Honor.

Seriously, making penis monsters to hump each other and blowing up planets is way more fun than yelling at your SIMs to walking thirty feet to a bathroom and not piss on their pants for once after the fiftieth command to do so.

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