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Zero Punctuation: XBLA Double Bill

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Yahtzee Croshaw
Contributor
Posts: 108
Joined: 8 Aug 2007

XBLA Double Bill

Yahtzee reviews Bionic Commando: Rearmed, Castle Crashers, and the retro games in general.

Photo courtesy of Dave Bullock, EECUE

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H.R.Shovenstuff
Press Junketeer
Posts: 367
Joined: 19 Sep 2008

Retro games? On my ZP?

Lew37
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 24 Sep 2008

LOL !!!! all these videos crack me up !!!... :D LEGEND !!!!

afrophysics
Muckraker
Posts: 260
Joined: 4 Jul 2008

Yep I hated the lives system on Bionic Commando. Didn't find this very funny though.
Magneto was right would've been funnier.

nathien turner
Anonymous Source
Posts: 1
Joined: 24 Sep 2008

LOLOLOL i love his vids

i wish i was that cool

DannyDamage
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 813
Joined: 27 Aug 2008

Awesome! Best one in the last few months (imo). Keep up the anger!

Vlane
Beat Writer
Posts: 209
Joined: 14 Sep 2008

I thought that Yahtzee is going to review Star Wars: The Force Unleashed but retro stuff is good too

juraigamer
Anonymous Source
Posts: 9
Joined: 3 Sep 2008

Lives system ----> Health Bars ----> Stupid hide-behind-cover and cry abit to heal

Couldn't we just stay at health bars...

haruvister
Muckraker
Posts: 232
Joined: 4 Jun 2008

You're right, Yahtzee, Fantasy World Dizzy isn't the best game ever. Treasure Island Dizzy is.

MagnetoHydroDynamics
Muckraker
Posts: 285
Joined: 14 Feb 2008

You are good, but don't meddle with LoZ:OoT, you are not that good.

Littaly
Beat Writer
Posts: 145
Joined: 26 Jun 2008

Oh my got you think Hitler was right? I thought you were stupid but not that stupid, how dare you even say such a thing?!

Seriously though, way better than last week's video :D

quantumsaint
Paperboy
Posts: 14
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

Not getting enough hate-mail these days or something? LMAO, btw.

KiiWii
Copy Clerk
Posts: 61
Joined: 3 Feb 2008

Ahh, classic Yahtzee.
The Hitler thing comically finished me off =P

Rag Doll
Anonymous Source
Posts: 6
Joined: 16 Aug 2008

"I think Hitler was right!!!!"
(Also, i really liked ocarina of time, even better than twilight princess, because it gets everything right on the first try.)

MaDsPLoiTz
Paperboy
Posts: 23
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

Good to hear some views on Castle Crashers; I've heard a lot of hype about it but didn't really know what it was like.

Cheers.

Blazsy
Paperboy
Posts: 17
Joined: 8 Jun 2008

Awesome video, I like Castle Crashers and a very fun game when you play it with 4 people. It's not trying to "ape" Golden axe, they have based there game from Alien homnid

asacatman
Paperboy
Posts: 46
Joined: 2 Aug 2008

That ZP was great, better than a lot of the others.

afrophysics
Muckraker
Posts: 260
Joined: 4 Jul 2008

MaDsPLoiTz:
Good to hear some views on Castle Crashers; I've heard a lot of hype about it but didn't really know what it was like.

Cheers.

You might want to try a proper review for that one.

Aeviv
Beat Writer
Posts: 126
Joined: 13 Jun 2008

Another great review :P The Hitler line got me laughing, but i REALLY Laughed when i saw the credits

Megaman1222
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 22 Jul 2008

for a second I thought he said wind waker was better then OoT, and thought he must have been on crack while playing that one

ZergInfestedJesus
Anonymous Source
Posts: 9
Joined: 31 Oct 2007

Ah if only jhonen vasquez did make a game....

DeLukas
Paperboy
Posts: 18
Joined: 7 May 2008

juraigamer:
Lives system ----> Health Bars ----> Stupid hide-behind-cover and cry abit to heal

Couldn't we just stay at health bars...

Stupidly Hard ----> Reasonably Hard ----> Far to Easy/Games Yahtzee can Beat

I kid on the last one. However, I do agree with your main point that perhaps gaming in general is getting too easy and perhaps a step back isn't always a bad thing when it's game mechanics and not graphics.

Wengle
Paperboy
Posts: 13
Joined: 9 Nov 2007

"Also, I think Hitler was right!"
I laughed so much, great punchline.
Best one in a while. Although Castle Crasher's is awesome, and that's a part of that type of gameplay for boss's to try and block your view.
Keep it up at the standard we have this week.

valentingalea
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 17 Jul 2008

Bionic Commando: Rearsed

NewClassic
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1315
Joined: 30 Jul 2008

An interesting little romp into the world of arcade gaming.

Although, a notable comment that Yahtzee touched on, but missed home plate for:

Games like Bionic Commando were difficult because they put you in the position to have finite mortality, and forced you to hop, skip, jump, and die in a pit of death back to the beginning of the stage because that's what makes it difficult. That's it. The designs are simple, which allows for simple memorization to fuel the patterns once you've got the speed of it down.

The same way people can speed-run games like Ikaruga and Metal Slug. Sure, they're challenging, but once you've memorized them... That's it, game over, difficulty shot.

So, in short, in review of a review. Good video, decent humor, but not as all-encompassing. Probably because it was cut apart into two games.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

EDIT
Considering this is my first foray into the realm of Feature Comment posting, I must say I'm shocked to find that in the time it took me to write and post this, the comment number had well over quintupled. There were two comments when I started writing this...

Just, wow...

Megaman1222:
for a second I thought he said wind waker was better then OoT, and thought he must have been on crack while playing that one

I... I'm at a loss for words on this one. I personally thought Wind Waker was the best of the Legend of Zelda series, or at least tying up with Link to the Past and Link's Awakening. Ocarina of Time, to me at least, was a large and very resounding "decent."

Why do people hate on Wind Waker so much, was it the cel-shading?

Lupie
Paperboy
Posts: 44
Joined: 14 May 2008

This review felt fresher and more full of bounce and ideas than some of the more recent ones, so it's definitely going on my rewatch/comb for icon ideas list.

I can cheerfully confirm that I am utterly depraved.

Jenx
Paperboy
Posts: 14
Joined: 5 Dec 2007

Uuh...yay?

Seriously, maybe I'm just getting too used to this, but this video was absolutely mediocre. There wasn't even a single sequence, joke, line or image that was worth even a smirk. I suppose I should stop watching ZP for a while then come back. Who knows, maybe it'll improve it!

Edable Giraffe
Paperboy
Posts: 21
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

What was the Hitler comment at the end all about? lol

Croaky
Anonymous Source
Posts: 6
Joined: 17 Sep 2008

Ah, wonderfull! Again my weekly thirst for cynisism has been quenched.
Still, i'm waiting for you to rip Force Unleashed to shreds.

tony2077
Paperboy
Posts: 32
Joined: 19 Dec 2007

what happened man your reviews suck i could pull a better one out of my ass

gigastrike
Muckraker
Posts: 259
Joined: 13 Jul 2008

Ya, Sunshine is definatly better than Super Mario 64, but Twighlight Princess better than Ocarina of Time? It's close.

Susan Arendt
Section Editor
Posts: 592
Joined: 9 Jan 2007

afrophysics:

MaDsPLoiTz:
Good to hear some views on Castle Crashers; I've heard a lot of hype about it but didn't really know what it was like.

Cheers.

You might want to try a proper review for that one.

Like, for example, this one: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/5252-Review-Castle-Crashers

ZerodMikestar
Paperboy
Posts: 18
Joined: 14 May 2008

wow no, maybe I'll give you Sunshine over Mario 64 (and definitely galaxy over it)

but Twilight Princess over Ocarina of Time?...that's just ever so slightly categorically incorrect. there's an equation that proves it and everything

it goes along the lines of:

Ocarina = better than Twilight Princess. Simple. It had you as a bloody wolf for half the game and borrowed pretty much everything from Ocarina of time. eegads

rant over

funny chat today yahtzee, always hilarious calling children c*nts because they ARE

Rigamortiz
Paperboy
Posts: 14
Joined: 24 Sep 2008

Excellent! Only reason I came to The Escapist - It makes my Wednesday's better :D

mensaap
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 9 Jul 2008

well yathzee u obviously haven't played fallout

cause that game still beats every other game anytime, that's made in this day and age! (except maybe team fortress 2)

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