Zero Punctuation: XBLA Double Bill

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I kinda think Wind Waker is better(by alot) P.S. Castle Crashers is probably one of the best games i've plaies in a while.

AceDiamond:

yourkie1921:
ANd all of those games aren't good platformers. I want the innovation. I want to HAVE to use that arm. I just don't want to have to use it to accomplish the same goals that I could accomplish by jumping.

You'd rather not play the game by its own damn rules because you can't fathom them.

I can fathom them and I don't want to ever have the disgraceful knowledge of remembering a 2d performer where you can't jump any distance at all..

Goldeneye, Perfect Dark, and Timesplitters are not platformers. I have on the other hand pointed out exactly that jumping does not a good game make. You on the other hand are just complaining about an alternative method of control and conveyance because again, you can't wrap your head around it. Disgraceful knowledge indeed. That just sounds so elitist.

I was aware they weren't platformers.......well atleast that goldeneye wasn't one. I'm saying anything with no jump button sucks as a platformer. Jumping does make a good platformer. Gears of war has no jump button, it's not a platformer. If it was I'd kill Cliffy B and anyone who'd think a mountainous pile of shit of a plat former like that is decent. And I'm against unnecisary changes and difficulties in control. I could wrap my head around it and already did but still don't like you're lack of ability to jump. I already said, I LIKE THE ARM, I LIKE WHAT IT'S MEANT TO DO. However I want to jump to. Besides, doesn't it make the arm feel less awesome if you use it for everything instead of just places that a normal human being would have problems? Yes I'm elitist when it comes to controls but I'm not against all changes. I'm against all changes that aren't absolutely necisary because to me the fun that comes from learning about a game isn't by learning how to control it. And the DS still sucks for replacing the A and B buttons.

what's there to learn? You shoot the grappling hook and either swing or ascend. It's not rocket science!

Hell I'll say this much. I was not good at the original Bionic Commando. I am a lot better at this remake.

I am a big fan of 2-D games retro and new but this review was great bionic commando:rearmed is not fun and the controls suck, and I wholesummly agreed with your castle crashers review as well, but why no review of some of the crazier games like geo wars, or Shiznoid which try to use 2D graphics with 3D ones to make some pretty amazing looking game play plus the controls are so easy your mom can play it. Plus im one of those crazy ppl who likes lives and impossibly hard games but their a difference between hard and poorly designed, plus multiple difficulty settings are a must of all retro games, at least they should be.

Every time I see "XBLA" as an acronym I think of the running gag on The Daily Show. I can picture Jon Stewart saying "...available on XBox Live Arcade, or 'NAMBLA'."

<--- didn't read entire thread

Yahtzee put some extra effort this time around, or had more to say, either way, best video out of the last four I would say. I was thinking about the rise and decline of cleverness and humor that happened with strong bad e-mails, which I stopped watching about three years ago. Anyway, good to see Yahtzee has still got it.

Old school games, 2-D was simpler times, no need to worry about working with cameras which could single-handedly make you stop playing. Though I suppose a 16 color scheme could do the trick just as well. I wish some one (not me) would make a simple 2-D game LOOADED with content, like a Zelda with thirty castles and fifteen different swords. It makes sense to me, keep the looks good and simple, then drop some (insert drug here) and bang out content till your item list is longer then the game dialogue.

Kinda like what happened in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

this review -> epic fail

funny arguments that are true -> funny
funny argument that are not true -> not funny

AceDiamond:
what's there to learn?

I have no idea, you're giving me the impression that there are controls I'm not used to and I think any control changes to ANYTHING better be important to the point without them the game would suck

You shoot the grappling hook and either swing or ascend. It's not rocket science!

Than why the fuck are you giving me the impression that there's controls that I can't wrap my head around? I just can't wrap my head around any reasoning why you can't jump 3 feet. It's not realistic but neither is swinging around on the bionic arm. And it makes the arm that much better when you only have to use it for things you can't do in other games.

Hell I'll say this much. I was not good at the original Bionic Commando. I am a lot better at this remake.

Ok then. I was interested in this game because it sounded like something I'd be really good at. If I had the money I'd buy this game and beat it(obviously I'd have to take a picture of the end.) just to prove I do understand the game.

Is it so sad that ZP is the highlight of my week? Is it somehow even more sad that I have to ask? Really, the biggest chuckle I get each week is from Yahtzee's conflagrations. Either the world is a very dull place or aliens have wrapped my head in transparent aluminum foil.

gridsleep:
Is it so sad that ZP is the highlight of my week? Is it somehow even more sad that I have to ask? Really, the biggest chuckle I get each week is from Yahtzee's conflagrations. Either the world is a very dull place or aliens have wrapped my head in transparent aluminum foil.

you want to say your too smart for world?

hmmm castlevania symphony of the night, that and aria/dawn of sorrow blew my mind.

At the risk of being contraversial, zelda is rubbish. The wii one was not as rubbish as ocarina, maybe because it looked nicer, but mainly cause it held my interest for more than an hour. I don't care if it was the same thing as the older one since thats all the zelda games bloody well are.

and huzzah another review that I agree with.

To me , Yahtzee is a late night stand up show, not a mid afternoon housewives chat show, all tea n sofas. He's gonna say things that may offend, to get laughs from the majority.

Hell, Bill Hicks said something similar when heckled repeatedly, I think someone kept yelling for 'freebird' during his act, and he yelled 'Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever!' Which I think is a brilliant line and not even close to anti semetic, as its anti human race, after the heckling he's decided he wants the entire race burnt off the face of the planet.

I guess where I'm going is You kinda know where Yahtzee is gonna be going with his humour, you clicked it, you kinda gota take it.

Lololololololololol... *8creams* i have lolling disease, NOOOOOOOOOO-ololololo-OOOOOOOOO! ...lol
awesome as always though yahtzee.

Yahtzee you jaded Nazis! There are good old games. =(

None the less, good review. 'Bout time someone ripped that emo psychopath, Vasquez a new one.

castle crashers is pretty sweet, i wish Yahzee would check out some PSN games like The Last Guy, PixelJunk Eden, or Wipeout HD.

I felt the same way about BC:R...No idea why they've decided to remake the game, but keep those outdated&retarded control mechanics.

I bet he'll get more hatemail/complaints about the zelda: ocarina or mario 64 comment than the 'hitler was right one'...
Such is the internetz

Good points well put, Sir.

With the exception that SWOS '97 is still better than FIFA '09.

And Hitler was totally right.

ovset:
Everyone complaining about the Hitler comment needs to crawl out from under their rock now. The world isn't a shiny place filled with butterflies and rainbow puppy farts; grow some thicker skin and quit crying.

Yahtzee couldn't be more right about the nostalgia. I can't stand the awkward 30+ year-old gamers who insist everything before the 3D era was the beacon of Jesus Christ and all his disciples. They were limited, repetitive, and boring, now go back to your manga collection and sulk alone in the dark.

From all the comments I've just read this has to be the worse. So your saying that people who prefer the nostalgia gaming over the 3D generation of gaming are retarded? Thats a pretty arrogant statement. So what if they like the old era of gaming over the new generation? It doesn't make them less of a person or a gamer since they have a different taste than yours. My "favorite" thing you typed in the comment when you said "go back to your manga collection and sulk alone in the dark." Wow, real internet tough talk coming from a nerdy guy. You can agree with Yahtzee for all I care but attacking other people tastes is just ignorant.

Okay since I'm done with that I'm going to post my own reply and thoughts on this subject.

Well Yahtzee's review on Bionic Command Rearmed and comments on retro gaming has caused alot of stir around the comments section but I could care less about them. On the matter of retro gaming being inferior to the modern 3D generation of gaming, I think it really depends because their has always had good and bad games in the entire history of gaming. Some retro games may not of aged well but some can hold up to the test of time due to their excellence of game design. Retro games have their own simplistic style of fun while modern 3D games have their own style of depth. Each have their positives and negatives. I haven't played any of the Bionic Commando games but I haved played Castle Crashers. Yahtzee said that its hard to keep perspective on your character due to the chaotic battles and boss fights but that is if you don't know which character your using which is obvious to tell considering each character has their own color palletes. Also Castle Crashers wasn't supposed to try anything new or to be a copy of Golden Axe because it was just a nice throw back to the 2D hack n' slash and it's more of a copy of Gaurdian Heroes than Golden Axe. Plus, its usually obvious to tell if your on the right step of attacking the enemy through the draw distance. Castle Crashers doesn't even try to redefine the genre with 3D cut out gameplay considering their's absolutely nothing 3D about it. I enjoyed Castle Crashers and I'm not trying to sound angry against Yahtzee as it may seem that way but I just wanted to correct some of the things yahtzee said about Castle Crashers.

FOR CRIST SAKE.... have some balls and do Gears2 (play Gears1 so you can represent the "fanbase" better IMO) when it comes out... we NEED you to stick up for intelligence, and if you let that reveiw pass you by your part of the problem.... Adrian

Love your veiw of the world.

they get games in australia a few months after everyone else. i don't think gears 2 is out till christmas. and it's too boring to even care about

galletea:
they get games in australia a few months after everyone else. i don't think gears 2 is out till christmas. and it's too boring to even care about

That's kind of my point though, if we as intelligent gamers want to advance the industry in a possitive way then we can't be afraid to point out the most negative aspects of games.... isn't that why we love Yahtzee? He's a funny fucker yes... but a funny HONEST fucker in a sespool of boring liers.

Wait this reminded of something I forgot to mention in my comment. I remember when I learned that Atari created and released their own handheld system called the Atari Lynx around the same time the Gameboy was invented. The Atari Lynx has vastly superiour technology and graphical capabilities than the Gameboy and the Gameboy was way inferiour than the Lynx hardware, but the Lynx design was clunky and most of the games for it were terrible however the gameboy had a solid design and has alot of good games that are still alot of fun to play today. I guess this means that superiour hardware and 3D graphics does not equal a better game than most 2D games unless if it done well but I have played Braid and I still consider much better than any of the next-gen games I've played {except for Rock Band} and I've played many "AAA" next-gen titles.

I think a lot of people are missing the point that home gaming was entirely different 20 years ago. I'm only just about to turn 14, and I wasn't even born in the 80s, but from playing games like Ninja Gaiden on my Wii, I can tell it was all about the whole "arcade at home" deal. Arcades were the things that everyone was measuring home gaming by, because arcade games were the things that everyone had played back then. Somewhere in N64/PSX generation, it switched from being the "arcade at home" to more about being an individual experience.

3D gave games a lot more freedom, and most games didn't have to share the same concepts either now. Suddenly games could be like real life, or like a movie (as some crappy FMV games tried to do earlier). I think that the concept of 3D gaming has also changed over the years. I vaguely remember my 4th Christmas, and that year we got an N64 from my Grandparents. Over time we got games like Beetle Adventure Racing, and Perfect Dark. Now compare Perfect Dark with 3D FPSs of today like CoD 4. Control for both games is completely different. You essentially relied on auto targeting in most situations for PD, and in CoD 4 you barely have to (and you probably have zero auto targeting in the PC version). Why? Because of that second analog stick that was put into the game controllers with the last generation. Suddenly the game programmers didn't have to make a smart camera to follow you around. You were in control of the camera, and I think that was one of the reasons why the Dreamcast failed when it did. As an owner of a Dreamcast since late 1999/early 2000, I can say not having a second analog stick helped kill the Dreamcast. Once the PS2 came out, everyone realized how much a second analog stick could help with camera control.

Getting back my other game, Beetle Adventure Racing, let's compare it to a game like Burnout 3: Take down. I have & love both, but if you play Burnout 3 first, and then play BAR, BAR will feel limited and lacking. For instance: BAR has 6 huge racing tracks, and somewhere in between 10 and 15 cars. Burnout 3 on the other hand, has 18 huge racing tracks with 70 cars total to race with. Although BAR has a subtle arcade charm and lots of little fun secrets, Burnout 3 has that in-your-face charm & fun of crashing other cars into walls and such. For games like those, you just needed to have been there, or it isn't the same unless you try.

Other games you just forget how to play. I remember playing Duke Nukem 3D a lot when I was 3-6, and then just stopped until I was 11. I remember thinking, "Wow, I played this? How was I ever so awesome at it?" I used to be able to play Duke Nukem 3D blindfolded when I was 6, but 5 years later I had trouble just moving. Same with Perfect Dark. I Used to play it a lot when I was 6, and put it away for 5 years. I had lost the manual for it, so I had to figure out everything from scratch. Not that it didn't ruin the game, it just took me a lot longer to get used to it.

For those of you have have never played the original Bionic Command, you can play it here 100% legally: http://www.virtualnes.com/play/?id=NES-CM&s=9 . If you can play the game at their web site, that means they have the game at their offices. Which means they can host the game over the internet for millions to play. Although it's harder to play with just a keyboard, you can get an idea of how the game plays. For me, it's not a very hard concept to get around. It's just more annoying using a keyboard than the game itself.

I also think people are miss-interpreting the whole Hitler joke. I think it's more just "Wait, is he really saying that about Zelda and Mario?!?! What will he say next??"

WTEricson:

galletea:
they get games in australia a few months after everyone else. i don't think gears 2 is out till christmas. and it's too boring to even care about

That's kind of my point though, if we as intelligent gamers want to advance the industry in a possitive way then we can't be afraid to point out the most negative aspects of games.... isn't that why we love Yahtzee? He's a funny fucker yes... but a funny HONEST fucker in a sespool of boring liers.

Hmmm, I don't know about that considering is pretty easy to be negative and I personally don't think that could advance the industry considering many other game journalists aren't as afraid to be negative as you may think. Popular gaming websites like Joystiq are always ready to rant about something. Tommy Tallarico in a interview with reeboot.com said that in the gaming industry many people are tyring to be sensationalists in the gaming community to the point where they talk all negative by acting snarky because that's the attracts the most attention and easy to be negative. That's certainly the case I'm seeing with Yahtzee as he's the most famous of them all {well at least in my view} where he tends to talk all negative about games and the gaming industry. I personally don't believe being a cynic can make one more honest than the next optimistic person because a cynic can be dishonest to their own selfs by overlooking the positives of something and judging something like that instead of judging what something really is. Yahtzee maybe honest but in such a unprincipled matter that I never could take him seriously and there are many gamers that don't take his work as legitimate source of gaming criticism but only for laughs which Yahtzee often delivers. So I wouldn't exactly call Yahtzee the most truthful source of game reviewing and journalism. However I think Yahtzee should try more effort of givinga a fair balance of pointing out the negatives and positives of a game while maintaining to be funny so that most gamers would take him more serious and would actually advance the industry more. Plus, I don't mean to offend Yahtzee by stating my own personal view and thoughts on him as Yahtzee at least has the right to state his own opinion and also not trying to create a bait flaming argument but I would gladly settle up for a nice debate which usually impossible around the internet these days.

@mg66368 i see your point, though i don't think people are too influenced by yahtzee's comments, or the overly negative sector of reviews, or at least i hope they have some kind of brain. i've usually already played the games he's tearing apart and usually I agree with him.
and also he does mention the good parts at least which is more than i've seen on other sites

galletea:
@mg66368 i see your point, though i don't think people are too influenced by yahtzee's comments, or the overly negative sector of reviews, or at least i hope they have some kind of brain. i've usually already played the games he's tearing apart and usually I agree with him.
and also he does mention the good parts at least which is more than i've seen on other sites

I too agree with the moderate amount of flaws that Yahtzee points out however I don't let many of those flaws take over my overall judgement like Yahtzee does because I'll let the amount of pros and cons to decide on my opinion on a video game. Yahtzee does point out some of the positives in a video game but in small portions which allows him to focus more on the negatives unless he's reviewing games he really likes like Painkiller, COD 4, Psychonauts, and Portal {a game he couldn't think of any criticsm for}. But him being negative is probably the reason he ceases to be humorous quoting one of his lines "Nobody likes me when I'm being nice to a game". Still I'm personally getting tired of that shtick because it's getting personally stale to me. I wish Yahtzee could retire {along with the AVGN} then comback to try something new. Plus, they're a majority who's opinions are influenced by Yahtzee as you can see through the videos comments or I'm probably assuming, but the reaction is totally different from Digg.com. I don't hate Yahtzee of course because he's better than some of the mainstream critics out there but not by a long shot, I used to be a fan of Yahtzee until recently. I'd rather go to giantbomb.com for video game reviews, its a website founded by Jeff Gerstmann after the Gerstmann gate, it has many of the former gamespot editors like Ryan Davis, Brad Shoemaker, and Vinny Caravella. Its a great fun website you should check out.

Also another thing, E-drama fights are a great laugh around comment sections and forums and I give credit for Yahtzee for naking those. :-)

Here's my first attempt:
I also like Ocraina of Time and Super Mario 64 more than Twilight Princess and Sunshine and I've played TP and Sunshine before I've played Ocarina of Time and Mario 64 {no joke}.... but A Link to the Past and Super Mario Bros. 3 {including the original and World} beat those games any day.

I can't wait to see someone's reaction to this.

While I do realize that the Escapist needs to advertise I would humbly request that they not put them in the videos. Keep them on the site ONLY instead.

That said this was a decent episode....could use more humor though.

You guys remember how in Webcomics, Yahtzee noted just how ridiculously bad it was to talk about how the female character had a miscarriage because that's just something you don't joke about? Well, you know what else you don't joke about? Hitler, the Holocaust, or anything like that. As much as you Yahtzee fanboys and fangirls will say it was just a joke and was actually quite funny, please note that the same guy you're defending also made a quip about the same thing.

Also, I'm pretty sure in another one of his reviews he also talked about (I think the E3 trailer park, not entirely sure) he talked about how it's easy to be a cynic in today's society because a lot of games just tend to suck. In another turn of hypocrisy, he talks in this one about how all old games suck compared to new ones. While I do agree that games are becoming better in terms of controls and whatnot, I wouldn't call them better.

Yahtzee is really failing lately. Back in the day, he used to be about playing games and reviewing them using hilarious script. Now it seems like all he does is read the Escapist forums and other gaming sites and steals his scripts from them. I've coincidentally noticed this chain of crappy reviews, insane hypocrisy, and lack of humor starting from Webcomics anyway. I know I don't have to watch his reviews, so I probably won't take them with as much glee as I used to. But my points still stand.

Firstly I personally am against censorship, and therefore I don't see the problem with the Hitler thing, since he made it very clear that those were not his real feelings.

Secondly given the large numbers of games produced, it is inevitable that most will suck. I'm a cynic anyway, regardless of anyones views, and most recent things have been insultingly bad. However the franchise games of long standing tend to get better, though i find them to be more like tea lights then beacons in the mire of modern games, but I never got the Zelda/Mario/Metroid etc thing.

I'm pretty new here so I couldn't really comment on the forum/ script robbing thing. Seems more to me that people emulate his style rather than the other way around.
So I'll probably be indifferent to the next games to be released, and enjoy someone else being cynical with added humour.

Not that Yahtzee needs or even wants defending, these are merely my thoughts on the above rant.

Firstly, like I said, whether or not he was really honest and for true about the Hitler thing, you just don't joke about that. What if I was a really famous game critic and I said at the end of my review, "I think Osama Bin Ladin was awesome for killing 3000 innocent people and ruining lives," followed by in fine print "Nah, just kidding." You just don't do that. In fact, I feel sick to my stomach using that example.

Secondly, that whole point was to show just how controversial Yahtzee is by saying that. Not saying he's wrong.

I understood. I just didn't share your view.

bad choice for a ZP, couldn't do force unleashed? Really that one is ripe for this as it's sold more than any other SW game and yet just apes God of War *take all the offense you want, I'm right*

These 2 games HAVE their niche, the sales of both kinda denotes that. Bionic commando isn't really a hard game besides, it just takes a while to get used to and then you're off, it scales up to expert players, but it wouldn't be the first game to do it. One thing that definately isn't very swell about current gen games (or games in the last 5-6 years) is that they all must be able to be completely mastered in the beginning 5 minutes OR copy paste HALO and everyone already knows what to do. Bionic Commando brings that back to the group of gamers who enjoy that sort of thing, aka, thought.

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