Zero Punctuation: XBLA Double Bill

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Littaly:
Oh my got you think Hitler was right? I thought you were stupid but not that stupid, how dare you even say such a thing?!

Seriously though, way better than last week's video :D

Dear Noob.
Read the dialog after the video and try not to make yourself sound like a twat with your next comment.

haruvister:
You're right, Yahtzee, Fantasy World Dizzy isn't the best game ever. Treasure Island Dizzy is.

Why are you making me choose?! And no love for Magicland Dizzy?

Great review as usual. The Hitler line was the icing on a very funny cake.

i was hoping for warhammer.

Hey, I finally made an account. Loved the review Yahtzee! Though you talked a little too fast at some parts for me to understand, but I always watch them more then once anyway.

Shiuz91:

Littaly:
Oh my got you think Hitler was right? I thought you were stupid but not that stupid, how dare you even say such a thing?!

Seriously though, way better than last week's video :D

Dear Noob.
Read the dialog after the video and try not to make yourself sound like a twat with your next comment.

I think that guy was kidding.

Oh, and why do people think the "TP was better then OoT" was sarcastic? It wasn't, else it wouldn't fit in with the entire review.

Maybe people like retro gaming because it's harder. Games these days are too fucking EASY (except Ninja Gaiden, of course), because you can fit much more stuff onto a disc. Back in the old days, you couldn't fit as much onto a cartridge, so the designers had to extend gameplay time by making the games harder. Some gamers nowadays are looking for a bigger challenge, that's pretty much the entire reasoning behind the dreaded I Wanna Be The Guy.

And for the record, my favorite Zelda game is still Majora's Mask.

lmao i loved the way you ended that one yahtzee XD
have you ever played streets of rage? thats a lot like golden axe, but the sexy woman in that has more clothes on... kinda :P

Uhm, I could actually KILL for some good Jump&Runs like in the oldern day like Earthworm Jim, Super Mario Whatever, Jazz Jackrabbit etc. They were fucking fun.

The whole "3D"-thing still isn't out of it's teens yet. When you designed or programmed an old game and someone said "Hey I got an idea, why don't we let the guy poop everywhere he wants?" and the Programmers were like "Haha, I like that okay let's do it".
Now it'd be more like "Oh no... we would have to redesign all of the levels, model perfect poo, record all those new animations on our top-of-the-line motion-capturing system & whatever, let's leave it out instead".
See here for some examples why 3D isn't always better than 2D: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.65244
And they still can't make "unique-looking" buildings/landscapes etc. in 3D like they did with painted background, t'was just fucking amazing... they all look like Lego-blocks just dumped all over the map.

I think I'm one of the few people that would rather play a 2D-game with graphics from 1997-2001 instead of some "high-end" graphics-whore game that has all of those features Yahtzee praises so much like "accesibility for 4year olds+", "Hey let's make our game so that 4 year olds can play it!" "But it's Gears of War/Call of Duty/Bioshock... it's 18+" "Oh alright... but think about the mentally retarded or people that have to control the character with their feet".
It just fucking sucks, I either play a game like a movie (because I want to be captivated by the story and "feel" it like most RPGs & Adventures) or cause I want some challenge/some fun and outside of "Online Gaming" nowadays you could walk through all those games blindly and there's no punishment at all "Let's put you 2 steps and pat you on the head for how far you've come" WTF?

I fucking hate "Casual Gamers" and consoles, they are just ruining the games industry while making all of those companies that produce the same crap over and over again in pink rich and more corporate-y while the quality of the games sink like a bum with a stone at his feet falling off a bridge.

wow, Hitler probably oversaw the canning of this itw bitw project EIGHT DAYS over at Sony Europe. Good job someone from the devteam left the Gears_Of_War2-rivalling Navigation Prototype on record and forgot not to upload it for all our nostalgic pleaure. Was he right? Hitler, I mean, to deprive us of something that actually looked like it might have played better than most games out there?

I'll give you Sunshine over 64, but while I did enjoy Twilight Princess, the lack of challenge really makes it tough for me to put it over OOT. I mean seriously, I stopped getting more heart pieces on purpose part way through the game, and still never feared for my life in any of the boss battles except for beast ganon, and that was only because I was hitting the buttons wrong, once I solved that problem that was cake too.

It's a shame Yahtzee didn't wait until next week to do XBLA because Duke3D has just come out. I'd love to hear what he has to say about it.

One man's poison is another man's wine; I LOVE Bionic Commando, the oringinal and the remake. That is one of the games that I played the most during the 8-bit era (I even played a lot during the 16-bit era). I love the swinging mechanics (it's all about the timing) and the remake actually improves on the original in that the levels are better layed out, more weapons and equipment, and last but not least, the soundtrack; the remixed music in this game just blew me away (those who've played the original as well as the remake know exactly what I'm talking about). Is it difficult? yes, very; but the remake got rid of some things that made the original EXTREMELY difficult (for example, you don't run out of continues). This is not a game for everyone though.

Haha, I personally think BC:R is a fantastic remake! The revamped soundtrack has been rocking my iPod since the OST was released, and some of those challenge rooms are demonically difficult!

It is quite obvious that with the final statement, Yahtzee admitted he was in fact being SARCASTIC ALL THE WAY THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE VIDEO.

:)

mensaap:
well yathzee u obviously haven't played fallout

cause that game still beats every other game anytime, that's made in this day and age! (except maybe team fortress 2)

Well congratulations my friend, you get the nostalgic nerd stamp, too!

Anyone knows that Sonic Adventure 2 was the BEST GAME EVAR!!! ;P

No, but I can't believe what he said about Hitler. I don't even know if I can trust that he was just joking. Either way it is a SERIOUS subject matter and nobody should dare to make fun of it!

Littaly:
Oh my got you think Hitler was right? I thought you were stupid but not that stupid, how dare you even say such a thing?!

Seriously though, way better than last week's video :D

read durring the credits my good fellow

COME ONE PEOPLE DOSE ANYONE READ THE CREDITS?!?!?! HE WAS KIDDING ABOUT HITLER!

Dustereg:
COME ONE PEOPLE DOSE ANYONE READ THE CREDITS?!?!?! HE WAS KIDDING ABOUT HITLER!

oops caps lock was on......

Advice for sponsor trailer makers: a sponsor trailer SHOULD NOT LAST LONGER THAN THE ACTUAL FEATURE IT WAS SPONSORING.

THAT IS PLAINLY UNACCEPTABLE.

Also, I think it should be clear to you by now that Yahtzee never has and never will care for another living being; he doesn't care about me, he doesn't care about you, and to be frank I'd be surprised if he's ever hugged his own mother. The fact of the matter is, if it isn't a game, food or something to pleasure him sexually, he will not care, so stop trying to adress him through here.

Quicktime event: press Z to dodge sarcastic comments about hitler!

Cheesus333:
Advice for sponsor trailer makers: a sponsor trailer SHOULD NOT LAST LONGER THAN THE ACTUAL FEATURE IT WAS SPONSORING.

THAT IS PLAINLY UNACCEPTABLE.

fucking right! there is such a thing as over-advertising my dear Escapist.

And in addition to the sarcasm clearly intended by the Hitler comment, it could also be explained in a less literal way, i.e. Hitler's political stance... Although that might be a bit far fetching ;-).

Didn't someone get banned for a week for mentioning the Holocaust on these forums? Like Yahtzee they used it in a joke, but unlike Yahtzee, the person actually noted it as a bad thing.

Does that mean Yahtzee should get the banhammer for a week? o_o

Just as a point of note...

The IS a actual reason for Bionic Commando to have a ives system...

Originally, it WAS a arcade game, from 1987. The NES version Yahtzee references was published a year later, and was treated as a "semi-sequel" to Commando.

Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bionic_Commando_(arcade_game)

I finally have a beef with Yahtzee.

I'm much too pessimistic to say that we are constantly making forward progress in game design. Adventure games, space flight simulators did not die out because they are archaic game designs, they died out because the market is demanding homogeneous games that everyone can enjoy. Unfortunately, that means games are heading down a path of less variety and creativity. Games will be something that everyone likes, but no one loves. That's why games like Braid need to be embraced. They are specifically not made for everyone. Games that might offend somebody are a very good thing.

Unfortunately, there are two contrasting types of games. The kind that challenges the player, and the kind that merely entertains/relaxes. If you try to do both, you almost always fall flat on your face. As we get older, we have plenty of real life challenges to deal with on a day to day basis, and the job of a video game becomes more about a stress reliever. But when you are a kid and have no real challenges, a game like Braid or Bionic Commando can offer one. As the average age of gamers increases, the less of a challenge the perfect, homogeneous game can pose.

Yahtzee should just realize that he is in a place in his life where he doesn't appreciate extraneous challenges in his life. That doesn't mean today's 12 year old doesn't. I think a lot of people deep down realize that they have lost the ability to rise to the challenge that a lot of old games offered, and they judge those games all the more harshly for it.

So...many...ads...

Slowing...down...computer...

Spore Review<This Review, enough said. Well ok not enough said, but I will admit that Twilight Princess had an actual likable and usable side-character in Midna then that fucking annoying ass Navi would ever be. Beside that though, I think that Ocarina of Time had humor that seemed to flow among all the characters while Twilight had it stuck to Midna, so eh I explained that to all you various fanboys. "I thought Hitler was right!" half a second later. "I did not think Hitler was right -Phew-." made me chuckle consistently for a good minute.

I believe the reason for the last line was so he could get some more hate mail.

Father2u:
I believe the reason for the last line was so he could get some more hate mail.

I believe a "No Shit?" is in order.

I agree with Yahtzee's review of Bionic Commando. People go all "ooo, aaa" about it, but it's just a terrible game (when judged by todays standards) dressed in some 3D graphics in a 2D world. This is clearly nothing more than a game for the fans. Let them have fun for all I care, but PLEASE, stop praising it like it's better than the modern games of our times!

EDIT: I can't say anything about the second game, since I haven't played it.

Joke or no joke, you just don't joke about anything like that.

I was going to write a similar joke as an example, about the events of 9/11, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Even if I'm rarely on these forums anymore and a ban wouldn't bother me, and if I was going to put "Just kidding" on the end, I couldn't do it. Yahtzee's a heartless bastard, I'm sorry.

I have a feeling that IHBT but, gotta disagree with that Zelda TP is better than OoT statement. OoT had some level of difficulty, TP was just piss-poor easy.

Jarelk:
Hey, I finally made an account. Loved the review Yahtzee! Though you talked a little too fast at some parts for me to understand, but I always watch them more then once anyway.

Shiuz91:

Littaly:
Oh my got you think Hitler was right? I thought you were stupid but not that stupid, how dare you even say such a thing?!

Seriously though, way better than last week's video :D

Dear Noob.
Read the dialog after the video and try not to make yourself sound like a twat with your next comment.

I think that guy was kidding.

Oh, and why do people think the "TP was better then OoT" was sarcastic? It wasn't, else it wouldn't fit in with the entire review.

When you follow it up with "I think Hitler was right," and the fact that it's always fun to piss off fanboys, you kinda get the feeling that the last line was only there to troll fanboys

He thought Sunshine was better than 64? Wow...

I had the exact opposite reaction playing Castle Crashers (or at least the demo). The characters were brightly colored which made the stand out. I was also really impressed by the fact the game didn't have the miss by two inches on the y axis thing. While that happened sometimes with magic, all my other attacks worked just fine.

Didn't run into problem with the bosses blocking my view either.

Anyone who didn't detect sarcasm on the Hitler line should be launched into the sun.

Uhm...I really hate to say this but Yahtzee does an Epic Fail.

Let's see why..

Bland Title bleurgh, but the outro was better.
Lots more bile, but almost totally misplaced.
Retracts some of his original statements.
Talks shit for no other reason than talking shit.
Surely the 'life' system is still in use...
Tyris Flare (Golden Axe) actually had reasonable chest size for an Amazon...despite the bikini....and was hardly less stereotypical than Ax Battler or Gilius.
Bionic Commando WAS released on the c64 and was bloody good.
Gauntlet (shown) didn't use lives but Health...
And making a 3d sideways scrolling beat-em up wouldn't work...because it's SIDEWAYS...like 1d axis...

Sorry Ben. Epic Fail this time. :(

Pseudonym2:
I had the exact opposite reaction playing Castle Crashers (or at least the demo). The characters were brightly colored which made the stand out. I was also really impressed by the fact the game didn't have the miss by two inches on the y axis thing. While that happened sometimes with magic, all my other attacks worked just fine.

Didn't run into problem with the bosses blocking my view either.

I think this is one of the examples of Yahtzee not being "on the ball" with his review. Some of them, like Spore or EVE, he hits the nail on the head, but others, like this, I too would have to disagree. Galaxy is debatably more fun than 64 because it takes everything 64 did and made it bigger. Sunshine sucked pretty bad lol

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