Zero Punctuation: XBLA Double Bill

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 NEXT
 

I must say Yahtzee seemed extremely angry in this review (more than usual) I wonder what's up. I was also expecting him to do TFU, but i guess he'll do that next week.

ive got the world record on challenge 24 in bionic commando- which is the only one i tried. nobody will ever come close to it. i am the superior gamer, pussies.

Hurrah,yet another informative video from Yahtzee. I salute his choice at looking at some of the lesser known games, perhaps this will attract new people to the particularly underrated medium of games. hopefully he will take a look at fallout, but it is pretty much the same as oblivion. Strip down the nuclear war and it its pretty much the same game just with fewer buildings to worry about designing. Little point in reviewing it as he essentially already has done.
o and the cake is a lie

Wait how is Hitle right?

juraigamer:
Lives system ----> Health Bars ----> Stupid hide-behind-cover and cry abit to heal

Couldn't we just stay at health bars...

Completely agree.

PersianLlama:

juraigamer:
Lives system ----> Health Bars ----> Stupid hide-behind-cover and cry abit to heal

Couldn't we just stay at health bars...

Completely agree.

Completely disagree.

What'd you rather? I prefer the health bars.......and possibly the hide behind cover system at the same time as long as you're not spending all of your time sucking your thumb waiting for your health to recover and enemies advance often enough where you won't heal a lot mid-fight. But the lives system can go to hell.

That's all good and well, but really: Pretty Colours > Gameplay > Bad Gameplay > Shades of Brown and Grey.

Health bars and lives (le gasp) will work where they are needed. Lives are only useless in games that are big and where finishing the story is secondary to the accomplishment of actually beating the game in a sitting. If the game can't be beat in one sitting, then lives are pointless. Time Crisis comes to mind when I think of proper use of lives...Mario games definitely not so much...

HEY BEN! SEE YOU IN NOVEMBER AT THE YOU KNOW WHAT/WHERE/WHY/ and how. Got that game designers job yet?

144:

ZerodMikestar:
wow no, maybe I'll give you Sunshine over Mario 64 (and definitely galaxy over it)

but Twilight Princess over Ocarina of Time?...that's just ever so slightly categorically incorrect. there's an equation that proves it and everything

it goes along the lines of:

Ocarina = better than Twilight Princess. Simple. It had you as a bloody wolf for half the game and borrowed pretty much everything from Ocarina of time. eegads

rant over

funny chat today yahtzee, always hilarious calling children c*nts because they ARE

And if I bothered to, every single quote like this as well, so nothing personal, quoted guy:

I am prone to replay 1-player games. Take, for instance, Civilization, or Pokemon, or final fantasy n<14. If I felt like replaying any given Zelda game, they would be, in this order, TP, WW, OoT, LttP, PH (I haven't played/don't care about the others). Similarly, for Mario, they would be Galaxy, then Sunshine, then 64.
Why?
Good question. The answer lies in the point Yahtzee made and everyone who then whined about it missed: part of what made those games great was that they were the first to do what was in the later games. That's how time works. But if I wanted the Ocarina of Time experience, I'd play Twilight Princess, which does everything Oot does with better graphics and controls, more freedom in combat, and has the added wolf sections which, if I don't like them, do not actually take a long time. You HAD to be a wolf for about...5 extended periods of time or so. And all you had to do was collect little bugs, which I thought was fun, but for those who didn't, it shouldn't matter, because every single temple was still done in human form.
Similarly with Sunshine - the gameplay was cleaner than it was in 64, and all they did was tack on the water pistol, which, if you didn't like it, was often entirely unnecessary for more than half of the game. If that sounds familiar, you may have read the previous paragraph.
What I'm saying is that most games with sequels do not take anything out of the old game, but rather, just add more in. The experience is there, but so are some others being tried out to see how people like it.

In the case of sonic going 3d, it's understandable that people don't like the sequels because the actual intended gameplay is substantially different, not just the old stuff with better graphics and some new elements installed (which is what I hope Sonic Unleashed will be, though it may suck regardless).

So feel free to tell me why I'm wrong, but I probably won't care, because I do understand the hypnotic power Pokemon red and Mario 64 have over me, in that I think they're more amazing than I should think by today's standards.

I created an account to specifically reply to this post. That's probably not relevant, though.

If I wanted to replay Super Mario 64, I'd replay Super Mario 64. Why? Well, maybe because Sunshine had so many flaws that the original never even had to address, such as a ridiculously easy story, an even more uncooperative camera, a tacked-on gameplay mechanic (the infamous "water pistol) that is never fully realized, just plain boring level design, etc. etc. Twilight Princess falls into the same trap, considering it's basically a retelling of a story that I have played far too much, except without the difficulty, the fantastic level design, or the absence of wolves (seriously, did anybody like those sections?) I hate to say it, but I disagree with Yahtzee. He tries to stick the nostalgia label on any classic gamer, even if the gamer hasn't even played the game before. For example, I bought Ninja Gaiden II for sixty USD last week, and have yet to enjoy a single minute of it, yet Blackthorne, the "edgy" Prince of Persia clone I downloaded for free due to its abandonware status remains my primary game at the moment. Why? Honestly, I don't give a shit about the graphics, the sound, the characters, or the story as long as it controls well and is fun to play. I can name about six games on the Xbox 360 that accomplish this, two on the Wii, and one on the PS3. Too selective? Maybe, but I still have more fun playing Earthbound than I do with games like Ninja Gaiden II, which is quickly becoming my eternal example as a "style over substance" game.

As far as the post I quoted goes, whatever small advantage Twilight Princess gains over Ocarina of Time by emphasizing its laughable "cinematic" story is lost the second I walked into the first temple and instantly recognized it as a mixture between the Forest Temple and Inside the Deku Tree. At least Wind Waker tried a new art style to hide the similarities. So, yeah, I guess I'm looking for originality in the games I buy. If you're going to repackage the same game over and over, at least make sure to indicate as which on the damn cover.

P.S.: Yahtzee, if I wanted to watch a character get developed, I'd read a goddamn novel. Seeing generic video game character X turn into Hero Stereotype #1313 isn't exactly my idea of fun. Hell, I can only think of two games that have stories I'd qualify as "good", and that's the Legacy of Kain series along with Max Payne. If you're looking for an excellent story in a fighting game, perhaps you're not reviewing the right genre. Stay out of things you don't understand. After all, it's not the genre's fault it's not appealing to twitch gamers such as yourself. (Note: not hating on twitch gamers)

You know he's right. If you play Twilight Princess BEFORE you play Orcana of Time (Like i did) you will find TP to be better. Simply put it's newer and i never new that the gameplay was borrowing from OOT.
Either was as technology advances games get better and the older games are left in the dust, regardless of what hardcore fans say.

Also loved the Hitler comments. Especially since i've done history on WW2 and know what your talking about. Everyone else look it up on Wikipedia.

and i think hitler was wright great episod

Stelman257:
You know he's right. If you play Twilight Princess BEFORE you play Orcana of Time (Like i did) you will find TP to be better. Simply put it's newer and i never new that the gameplay was borrowing from OOT.
Either was as technology advances games get better and the older games are left in the dust, regardless of what hardcore fans say.

Also loved the Hitler comments. Especially since i've done history on WW2 and know what your talking about. Everyone else look it up on Wikipedia.

No, I don't know he's right. Perhaps he (and you) should play the series in the order it's supposed to be played (or maybe not anymore. Nintendo probably doesn't want you to notice the huge similarities), then you might be able to see where I'm coming from. Plus, most of the flaws associated with Twilight Princess could be sensed by anyone with half-a-brain. Coming off Okami, the dungeons were stiff and extremely linear, something I thought was addressed in the latter half of Wind Waker. Twilight Princess isn't just mediocre compared to Ocarina of Time, it's just a repetitive gaming experience all the way throughout. It also sort of seems paradoxical for Nintendo to shunt out the "hardcore" gamers, who, in truth, were the only people who actually bought the GameCube and made it so they didn't drop out last gen.

Hitler was right? Um wat?

I love XBLA for the "nostalga".

And it's funny this is up today as I set up my Commodore 64 last night on a 42" LCD, looks great compared to the 15" CRT Tv I used to play on in the late 80s.

I've been toting it around for the last few years and thought I should check it still runs... and it does :) yay for Old School Gaming

WHO THE FRAK is that guy that's always there - with the hair and the monty python stuff coming out of his head?!?!?

And the only thing I disagreed with about this was him NOT ranting about enemy long-range attacks in Castle Crashers. That's the one thing that made me want to find the game and jump up and down on its case breaking it.

Alas, no case - but the virtual stomping happened - and I liked it, too!

yourkie1921:
What'd you rather? I prefer the health bars.......and possibly the hide behind cover system at the same time as long as you're not spending all of your time sucking your thumb waiting for your health to recover and enemies advance often enough where you won't heal a lot mid-fight. But the lives system can go to hell.

I still prefer the fusion bhetween the two that we got in Resistance and Condemend 2.

Anyone who didn't laugh at AT LEAST a couple of those lines is trying not to laugh, simple as that.

I liked the faces when he mentioned Castle Crashers having a "dark" sense of humor... WHY SO SERIOUS??!

Indigo_Dingo:

yourkie1921:
What'd you rather? I prefer the health bars.......and possibly the hide behind cover system at the same time as long as you're not spending all of your time sucking your thumb waiting for your health to recover and enemies advance often enough where you won't heal a lot mid-fight. But the lives system can go to hell.

I still prefer the fusion bhetween the two that we got in Resistance and Condemend 2.

I prefer that system. If you like it, try out Chronicles of Riddick, which is actually a good game.

Edable Giraffe:
What was the Hitler comment at the end all about? lol

I must agree. Up until now I thought you were one of the most intelligent people on this planet. Then you make a shitty comment like "Hitler was right". What was that for? That was not funny. That was not cool. When did you become Mel Gibson. If you said it for any other reason other than you thought it was funny it makes you are horrible excuse for a human being, and yes, if anyone who heard it thought it was funny, you are an asshole too.

Best review since the Mailbag Showdown. Not only did he deliver crisp, sharp-as-knives criticism and wit he also raised very good points about how nostalgia can cloud our better judgment towards video games.

Excellent job, man! :D

bw:

Edable Giraffe:
What was the Hitler comment at the end all about? lol

I must agree. Up until now I thought you were one of the most intelligent people on this planet. Then you make a shitty comment like "Hitler was right". What was that for? That was not funny. That was not cool. When did you become Mel Gibson. If you said it for any other reason other than you thought it was funny it makes you are horrible excuse for a human being, and yes, if anyone who heard it thought it was funny, you are an asshole too.

Hey, man! Being an asshole isn't an easy job. It's not like you can just make up a smarmy remark and sell it to the people. You have to deliver with just the right tone and at the appropriate time. Also, it needs to be something original yet totally, totally true.

somerandomguy:
Wow, I knew that yahtzee alwasy had fanboys but I didn't knew he had this many. This guy proves it when he says "Yahtzee has never been wrong". Sure you could alwasy agree with the guy but you can't just say the he's right and he's the "truth". Even I'm not this upset with this issue.

Let me reword it then, because I'm not completely stupid and I don't take everything at face value:

I have never disagreed with him, even when he has said things contrary to my beliefs.

I play Super Smash Bros Brawl. Just because he hated on it (with a resounding 'Ehhh') doesn't mean I'm going to stop playing it. But every single point he made against it was valid, correct, and showed things about the game in a way a regular reviewer would be hard-pressed to do.

He's no god. He's just louder, has a unique reviewing style, and knows what the fuck he's on about. The result is, he's the best damn reviewer online and practically the only one I trust for an honest opinion unfettered by editors, money, or other bullshit, and equally not having the ability to hide behind anonymity. Everyone knows he's Ben Croshaw, British expat living in Australia, wears a trilby hat, etc. etc. He's a public figure, he's not afraid to speak his mind, and I've never found a reason to strongly disagree with him about much.

People who continue to bicker over which 3d Zelda and which 3d Mario are superior, feel free too, but you're missing the point of why he mentioned them.

NewClassic:

Megaman1222:
for a second I thought he said wind waker was better then OoT, and thought he must have been on crack while playing that one

I... I'm at a loss for words on this one. I personally thought Wind Waker was the best of the Legend of Zelda series, or at least tying up with Link to the Past and Link's Awakening. Ocarina of Time, to me at least, was a large and very resounding "decent."

Why do people hate on Wind Waker so much, was it the cel-shading?

Totally freaking agree on that one. Windwaker took the series into an artistic realm that it hadn't been to in a long time. It sounded good, and it played flawlessly. I really liked ZOoT as well, perhaps more than ZTP. But I do agree with Yahtzee on Mario 64 versus Sunshine. People were put off by the water gun for some reason... As if it were a huge stretch for a plumber who was last seen jumping into paintings and was no stranger to dressing up like a raccoon so he could fly to suddenly don a super soaker and clean graffiti so magic star-children would return to a tropical island inhabited by pear-people.

P.S. Hitler? Really?

I didn't enjoy that particular video, I found it rather dull, though I agree strongly with his assessment of Castle Crashers and BC:Rearmed.

I think near the end, he just started calling things terrible to see if he could piss off some more people and it shows.
That was probably the point... but, I don't go for that sort of humor.

Yahtzee has just cursed the name of Zelda, this blasphemist must be purged.....

Obviously Yahtzee was joking about the whole Hitler thing, but still... its not funny yahtzee!

Another entertaining and informative review, but I have to admit that I'm kinda bummed you didn't review TFU.

As for the games: Castle Crashers looks like a lot of fun and it's made by the same people that did Alien Hominid, so I'll probably be getting it at some point. Bionic Commando... meh, I thought the grappling hook mechanic was clunky and unintuitive the first time I played it back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, and it doesn't appear anything in that regard has been changed for the remake.

Pfft, Ocarina of Time sucks, you should have played A Link to the Past.

...

Good review even though I had only ever heard of Bionic Commando a LONG time ago and even then it wasn't that popular.

Yahtzee should stick to popular games so I can at least have heard of them, I was sort of expecting him to have reviewed warhammer, what with the MASSIVE hype it has been receiving.

Back to form after the mildly disappointing Spore review. Well done, sir.

Nicely done, Yahtzee. Again.

Meanwhile, time to have a go at Force Unleashed for all its horrible, horrible design decisions, don't you reckon? Before the title's undeserved success encourages other developers to copy them?

Watching those smarmy gits congratulate themselves on Star Wars fanboys' inability to resist a story about Darth Vader even if the gameplay is linear, the deaths are cheap, the controls are wonky, boss battles involve quick time events, and the star destroyer scene is a complete abomination against God... well, it brought a tear to my eye. And a sinking feeling to my stomach.

Hopefully it'll bring another first-class ZP on the subject next week.

I never understood why Yahtzee hates quick time events so much.

Most people hate quick time events because more often than not they are either unnecessary or covering up a design flaw.

Good return to form after last week's review, though I do enjoy playing the occasional "nostalgic game" with my friends. Still, I realize that Yahtzee doesn't particularly care for this type of gameplay.

I can't be sure of this, but I think the reason Rearmed is 2D-in-3D is because the same company is making a new Bionic Commando game in 3D, and Rearmed is using the same engine. Gives them an opportunity to show it off etc : P

Yathzee's reviews are a little hard to understand at times. Frantic speed combined with not always crystal-clear sarcasm explains at least half of the angry posts here.

So basically what he says is that a lot of old games look better to us simply because they are classic to us and that the concepts of those games may or may not have been improved upon in newer games.

Yathzee has his own problem with nostalgia with Painkiller for example. Seldom have I played such an unsatifying game. I'd rather play Invasion in UT : P

I don't know... it seems like you missed the mark with this one. You could have nailed Castle Crashers with it's HUGE multiplayer connection problems (being an Aussie yourself I figured that would have been the first thing you commented on, I haven't been able to connect to an online game since I bought it two weeks ago), but instead you went for the nostalgia angle.

After your Spore review (soooooooo many issues you could have brought up with that game...) it's making me wonder if you're even playing these games at all or just browsing through them without a care in the world in hopes you'll find something to make a joke about.

Any mention of Jhonen Vasquez deserves mention.

Indigo_Dingo:

yourkie1921:
What'd you rather? I prefer the health bars.......and possibly the hide behind cover system at the same time as long as you're not spending all of your time sucking your thumb waiting for your health to recover and enemies advance often enough where you won't heal a lot mid-fight. But the lives system can go to hell.

I still prefer the fusion bhetween the two that we got in Resistance and Condemend 2.

Yea, that's pretty good. But the lives system can go to hell

I must agree. Up until now I thought you were one of the most intelligent people on this planet. Then you make a shitty comment like "Hitler was right". What was that for? That was not funny. That was not cool. When did you become Mel Gibson. If you said it for any other reason other than you thought it was funny it makes you are horrible excuse for a human being, and yes, if anyone who heard it thought it was funny, you are an asshole too.
report

SILENCE! Not even worth responding to but still incredibly infuriating.

Yahtzee has just cursed the name of Zelda, this blasphemist must be purged.....

I say the Zelda games suck, period. All of them. And mario should stomp on link's head until he dies

Yathzee has his own problem with nostalgia with Painkiller for example. Seldom have I played such an unsatifying game. I'd rather play Invasion in UT : P

He admits he does. And he picked up Painkiller recently before he reviewed it, or atleast somewhat recently since he found it after it went to the bargain bin

I never understood why Yahtzee hates quick time events so much.

He doesn't necisarily hate them. See the uncharted drake's fortune review......well I think it was that one. He just hates them when they're done but aren't done often enough, have small indicators, and are neutrally colored

Obviously Yahtzee was joking about the whole Hitler thing, but still... its not funny yahtzee!

Yea, it's a failed joke. But I still like it because he successfully trolled extremely sensitive people.

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here