Zero Punctuation: XBLA Double Bill

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brilliant as always keep um up

I hear ya on the nostalgia bit Yahtzee.

I loved Police Quest as a child (had it on my 386), and then suddenly one day it no longer worked. I missed it for years, until finding it on Abandonia or somesuch. Loaded it up, saw how horrible the graphics were, and shut it down in disappointment after ten minutes.

Nice to see that BC was properly reamed... and I love how you take the opportunity to rip the atrocity that is Halo3 every chance you get... although I'm surprised castle crashers got such a short and painful review.

No love for the collection aspect? 15 ingame pets with various abilities, 40 different weapons, 16 unlockable characters... Also I think I heard one line referring to the imaginitive art and humor style - coming from a man who constantly argues that video games are losing flavor as an art form, this was an opportunity to rave about a game that finally took a step in the right direction while giving us the same 4 player beat-em-up action that we enjoyed as coin-pilfering children (ex: turtles in time). And on the topic of nostalgia, there WERE good games back then, I don't think anyone can knock the original Sonic games and actually mean it.

I'm hoping you played up to more than the first boss, Yahtzee, else you're missing out on a ton more than you think. BTW, Who played golden axe for more than like 10 minutes, anyway? seriously, that game was terribad.

EDIT:
Also, am I the only person who noticed "Most Definitely Does NOT think Hitler was right" in the credits?

"That last sentence contained massive amounts of sarcasm" GLaDOS-esque
:D

I know there is a lack of new titles out there but now were reviewing games that your adv joe has not a clue what they are... almost seems like your stalling... Well none the less you really have a way for trolling, provoking every zelda fan, and Hitler enthusiast to spam your mail box. But who am i to judge. Id just like some more reviews on the adv joe game that most people know about. Starwars FU seemes like a good title to go for. Armored core series? Ace combat series? Maybe even the final fantasy series if you feel the need to get your hate mail to over 9000.

SiirusNagisa:

Also, am I the only person who noticed "Most Definitely Does NOT think Hitler was right" in the credits?

Silly SiirusNagisa. Don't know know Internet people can't read?

JK, I read it, though I don't really think that made up for what he said. Even sarcastically, it wasn't very funny.

BTW, I hope he reviews Wario Land: The Shake Dimension next time!

yourkie1921:

So Yahtzee's main complaints about Bionic Commando: Rearmed are:
1. It's too hard.
2. The gameplay mechanics are too difficult to get used to.

1: Not really
2: That's normally a valid complaint but sometimes it isn't and if I don't explain everyone's going to flock to one or two examples where it isn't. If learning the mechanics of the game is not supposed to be part of the challenge that is a valid complaint. And he's complaining about unecisary complications that do nothing but make you pissed. Unless you consider remembering to press A again to let go is a decent challenge once you're used it in which case I must play you at a game that's out of your element so I can inflate my own ego.

Wow. AND he's never played the original... which was even more difficult than Rearmed by leagues. Also, I get the feeling that he never finished the game. I'm assuming this from the quote, "Strangely for a 2D platformer, you can't jump (at least from the start)." To me, that does not say, "I finished the game". That says, "I didn't even try".

I wouldn't play through more than the start of a fighting game where the mechanic for throwing a hit (any hit, and yes I mean the basic ones. and I mean the hitting itself, not the mechanics surrounding it) takes getting used to and until then makes you die every 10 seconds and then turns into a minor annoyance.

Also, to all of those pissed at him saying Hitler was right, in my opinion when you're kidding there is no line that can't be crossed.

I see you've never played Bionic Commando, either.

It is NOT a hard game. Yes, the gameplay mechanic isn't something you're used to, but once you DO get used to it (takes maybe half an hour, tops), the game is fun, challenging, and rewarding. If you stumble over the first hurdle and then blame the game, that makes you a PUSSY. BC:Rearmed is proof of this. Yahtzee can't stand old school gaming because it required skills which he does not possess. He lashes out against BC:Rearmed because it's yet another game in a growing trend of old school-styled games with old school difficulty... and it makes him afraid. I wonder how Yahtzee will fare against Megaman 9...

But maybe I'm reading too much into one man's misdirected rage...

Lastly, has anyone linked up his "Hitler was right" quote with Bill Hicks yet? As Bill Hicks said, "Hitler had the right idea! He was just an underachiever!" I think Yahtzee was more trying to reference Hicks than anything.

Wow, thanks for another great Video Yahtzee ^~^!Though you sounded a bit tired at the beginning of this one, hope all is well with you.

I think the thing that annoys me most about Castle Crashers is the bastard 2D lineup, in which you can't hit anything if you aren't in exactly the same place as the enemy. I'm glad Yahtzee pointed that out, along with obscuring your character so you can't see what the hell you're doing.

Of course, I also find the game rather repetitive too, which is a little bit of a letdown...

Pyrokinesis:
I know there is a lack of new titles out there but now were reviewing games that your adv joe has not a clue what they are... almost seems like your stalling... Well none the less you really have a way for trolling, provoking every zelda fan, and Hitler enthusiast to spam your mail box. But who am i to judge. Id just like some more reviews on the adv joe game that most people know about. Starwars FU seemes like a good title to go for. Armored core series? Ace combat series? Maybe even the final fantasy series if you feel the need to get your hate mail to over 9000.

Instead of posting your complaint on a board that Yahtzee probably doesn't give a shit about and most likely will never read, why don't you email him? Or, and I quote, are you 'scared of him ignoring you to death'?

i loved the abuse of the game, but you seemed by the way the abuse the viewers and the players were slightly lacking .... i want more abuse from you sooooo, i'm telling you to review .. the force unleashed ( cause if you don't I'll have to give it a shot and there is no way i would measure up. i would fail like some punctuation.. and no one wants to see that.)

The Hitler being right was on the borderline of getting your ass sued by the Jewish community...

I liked castle crashers.. it was fun...apart from the whole boss covering the screen part...

dib_dib_9@hotmail.co.uk:
The Hitler being right was on the borderline of getting your ass sued by the Jewish community...

What?

Is it a violation of tort law to say racist-sounding things now?

The Hitler being right was on the borderline of getting your ass sued by the Jewish community...

Anyone who tried to sue the escapist for that deserves to have all their money turned into pennies and shoved in their ass.

If you stumble over the first hurdle and then blame the game, that makes you a PUSSY. BC:Rearmed is proof of this. Yahtzee can't stand old school gaming because it required skills which he does not possess.

He's blaming the game for the first hurdle even being there when it shouldn't be. Also, him not having skill is an arguement I'm very fucking tired of hearing.

yourkie1921:

The Hitler being right was on the borderline of getting your ass sued by the Jewish community...

Anyone who tried to sue the escapist for that deserves to have all their money turned into pennies and shoved in their ass.

If you stumble over the first hurdle and then blame the game, that makes you a PUSSY. BC:Rearmed is proof of this. Yahtzee can't stand old school gaming because it required skills which he does not possess.

He's blaming the game for the first hurdle even being there when it shouldn't be. Also, him not having skill is an arguement I'm very fucking tired of hearing.

Oh sorry... I guess all games should be wheelchair accessible, eh? Coincidence that he made his character wheelchair-bound and falling over a small block in the vid?

Why have a learning curve at all? A is always jump... B is always shoot. Don't change things up! People might have to re-learn something. GASP!

How many games have you played? Seriously. Did they all have the same controls? Since when is "learning the controls" a bad mark against a game?

BC takes NO SKILL. Yahtzee is a PUSSY.

Hint:
Watch the whole interview with a mirror.

Still, it does not mean that all points become right when inverted.







OK?

Honestly, I don't know why everyone keeps crying about Fallout. Yes, it's a great game, but it certainly wasn't without flaws. I have yet to play a game that was 120% perfect. Even games that I will swear until I'm blue in the face are better than any others in the series which came after it (Super Metroid for example, or Symphony of the Night, or Link to the Past) are not without their flaws.

But for me, at least, I will say this. I found Yahtzee's video to be extremely funny, and a rather sad - but honest - opinion that most younger games are going to agree with. I run into slathering little children all the time who harp on about today's games, and I still can't get my head around the strange concept all Halo fans seem to have in thinking that Halo actually came before Metroid. I mean, what the hell? Unless Doom was actually Halo in a clever disguise, it isn't nearly as old as people think it is, and even THEN it's still not old enough to have been around before most of the major game series popped up on the NES and Master System. Nor all the Arcades with games like Space Invaders - oh, wait, I'm sure that was Halo, too, right?

Sigh... anyways, I personally play a lot of older games more often than newer ones. They're shorter, often insanely hard - but hurray for cheats and/or the ability to actually play with some skill. I find most of the SNES/Genesis/PSX RPGs to have vastly superior plots (although don't get me started on Final Fantasy, because insofar as I'm concerned 6 was the last decent one, although the love story in 8 was very nice.)

Hell, why don't I just scream "I am not a graphics whore and would rather play Super Mario World than Super Mario Galaxy because I don't give a rats ass about graphics and wish people would quite bitching about realism and whether or not the 360 version of FF13 is going to suck balls because you can't actually see the hairs in a character's nose".

Okay, vetning aside. Sorry for ranting.

EDIT: Thank you SO much for that rant someone else did earlier. No, as a matter of fact, "old school" games didn't always revolve around skill. Many of them also required a healthy dose of luck. And you can't say that games today don't require skill. I have YET to get the true ending in Galaxy because I simply don't have the reactionary abilities of a robot or an Asian. Trauma Center made me want to slaughter the designers for how bullshit hard it got in the second half of the game. And most FPS games with their "unseen foes hit you from a million miles away" crap is ridiculous and I can't believe people out there are capable of ever hitting them.

How many games have you played? Seriously.

15 360 and xbox games, atleast 10 ps2 games, 5 ps one games, 5 N64 games, 3 ds games, 20 gameboy games 3 PC games, 4 wii games. This isn't counting rentals games I've forgotten.

Since when is "learning the controls" a bad mark against a game?

It depends on why you have to learn them. Look at the DS. I think by now when you have text we're all used to the bottom button being yes and the right button being no. Yet the DS changes it for no apparant reason and makes it so I want to kill whoever made the decision that little children(or the ones who've played something other than a ds or wii before) of all people are deserving of frustration levels high enough to make people gorge their own eyes out.
Say, my three wii games, I've had no problem with them because learning the controls wasn't part of the challenge. (other than the amount of frustration trying to use the wii mote accurately gives me since the bloody thing isn't accurate enough to point at anything taking up less than 20% of my screen) even though I've somewhat needed to learn a few things. Mainly because that isn't part of the challenge of the game.

Why have a learning curve at all? A is always jump... B is always shoot. Don't change things up! People might have to re-learn something. GASP!

that's fine, but don' make them re-learn things they shouldn't need to. if I ever have to use the A, X, B, and Y buttons on my 360 controller to move instead of the d pad or control sticks I'm going to make it my purpose in life to kill the developer of the game.

Oh sorry... I guess all games should be wheelchair accessible, eh? Coincidence that he made his character wheelchair-bound and falling over a small block in the vid?

he's doing that to mock the lack of jumping ability.

OuroborosChoked:

yourkie1921:

The Hitler being right was on the borderline of getting your ass sued by the Jewish community...

Anyone who tried to sue the escapist for that deserves to have all their money turned into pennies and shoved in their ass.

If you stumble over the first hurdle and then blame the game, that makes you a PUSSY. BC:Rearmed is proof of this. Yahtzee can't stand old school gaming because it required skills which he does not possess.

He's blaming the game for the first hurdle even being there when it shouldn't be. Also, him not having skill is an arguement I'm very fucking tired of hearing.

Oh sorry... I guess all games should be wheelchair accessible, eh? Coincidence that he made his character wheelchair-bound and falling over a small block in the vid?

Why have a learning curve at all? A is always jump... B is always shoot. Don't change things up! People might have to re-learn something. GASP!

How many games have you played? Seriously. Did they all have the same controls? Since when is "learning the controls" a bad mark against a game?

BC takes NO SKILL. Yahtzee is a PUSSY.

So, just because of one review you've decided Yahtzee is a pussy?

-.-

yourkie1921:

Why have a learning curve at all? A is always jump... B is always shoot. Don't change things up! People might have to re-learn something. GASP!

that's fine, but don' make them re-learn things they shouldn't need to. if I ever have to use the A, X, B, and Y buttons on my 360 controller to move instead of the d pad or control sticks I'm going to make it my purpose in life to kill the developer of the game.

The game is oriented around you having a BIONIC ARM. If you just jumped and shot at everything, the game would be the same as every other game ever and you wouldn't, in fact, be playing BIONIC COMMANDO.

Oh sorry... I guess all games should be wheelchair accessible, eh? Coincidence that he made his character wheelchair-bound and falling over a small block in the vid?

he's doing that to mock the lack of jumping ability.

Yes. Have a cookie. I like to think of it as a subliminal comment on his own inability to handle basic controls. He being the cripple and his stumbling being a representation of his failure at playing a simple game. See how symbolism works?

A.I. Sigma:

So, just because of one review you've decided Yahtzee is a pussy?

-.-

No, not after one review. If you had read any of the previous posts, you would've seen my earlier reply stating that I've had my suspicions for a while. Try reading before commenting.

The game is oriented around you having a BIONIC ARM.

I'm aware.

f you just jumped and shot at everything, the game would be the same as every other game ever and you wouldn't, in fact, be playing BIONIC COMMANDO.

Than make puzzles where your character would logically need to use his bionic arm instead of just using it because you can't jump. Look at the spiderman games please, if I remember correctly you could jump but your swinging around is necisary. And still, why is it necisary that the button you use to shoot your bionic arm doesn't detract it to?

I do read, I just consider many of your posts so pointless and biased that I find myself skimming over them and not giving a damn.

Oh dear.

yourkie1921:

If you just jumped and shot at everything, the game would be the same as every other game ever and you wouldn't, in fact, be playing BIONIC COMMANDO.

Than make puzzles where your character would logically need to use his bionic arm instead of just using it because you can't jump. Look at the spiderman games please, if I remember correctly you could jump but your swinging around is necisary. And still, why is it necisary that the button you use to shoot your bionic arm doesn't detract it to?

THEY DID! Did you even play the game, or are you just mindlessly agreeing with Yahtzee, too? No human can jump two stories... but with a bionic arm, you can get up there with ease! Need to get over spikes? Bionic arm! Need to pull down that concrete wall? Bionic arm! So you can't jump. So what?

And once you actually take the time to get used to the gameplay mechanics, it makes more sense to NOT have the "launch grapple" button the same as the "retract arm" button. I used to think that it would be better if the arm shot out horizontally instead of diagonally, by default... then I played the arcade version and realized it was a pain in the ass to have to press UP + Right or Up + Left every time you wanted to swing. Some gameplay mechanics just make more sense given time. Yahtzee gave the game no chance. He just assumed he was right when he wasn't.

A.I. Sigma:
I do read, I just consider many of your posts so pointless and biased that I find myself skimming over them and not giving a damn.

Oh dear.

And yet you reply to me anyway... and are wrong when you do it...

Oh dear is right. It IS rather distressing to be both a liar and a hypocrite, isn't it?

THEY DID! Did you even play the game, or are you just mindlessly agreeing with Yahtzee, too? No human can jump two stories... but with a bionic arm, you can get up there with ease! Need to get over spikes? Bionic arm! Need to pull down that concrete wall? Bionic arm! So you can't jump. So what?

Because if my legs aren't broken the only device I'd use to go over an object lower than 2 feet is that instant teleportation device from unreal. And even then I might just jump anyway. I don't care if you don't NEED to jump, you shouldn't NEED to use a device to get over something you should be able to jump over. And I didn't play the game because the only things I've ever spent MS on are Psychonauts and Fable, and I don't have enough to get bionic commando and even if I did I'd rather spend that money on castlevania.

*shrugs*

Yes, I suppose it is. I must find out sometime. I read your posts now because they seem somewhat relevant (it might be because they are actually directed at me), but whatever. I get grumpy at two in the morning, and I can't be bothered starting a silly argument over nothing.

yourkie1921:

THEY DID! Did you even play the game, or are you just mindlessly agreeing with Yahtzee, too? No human can jump two stories... but with a bionic arm, you can get up there with ease! Need to get over spikes? Bionic arm! Need to pull down that concrete wall? Bionic arm! So you can't jump. So what?

Because if my legs aren't broken the only device I'd use to go over an object lower than 2 feet is that instant teleportation device from unreal. And even then I might just jump anyway. I don't care if you don't NEED to jump, you shouldn't NEED to use a device to get over something you should be able to jump over. And I didn't play the game because the only things I've ever spent MS on are Psychonauts and Fable, and I don't have enough to get bionic commando and even if I did I'd rather spend that money on castlevania.

I'm sorry, your argument is just dead now. You're actually arguing against creativity and variety in gameplay at this point, and I just won't debate that. It's simply ridiculous. I'll just say this last thing: Yahtzee loved Portal and you could jump in Portal... but it was basically a useless appendage. You got everywhere using portals, so you didn't ever NEED to jump. Bionic Commando is no different... except they took out the unnecessary option of jumping.

I'm done.

I said I don't care if you NEED to jump. SO I don't care if it's a needless advantage.

I'm not arguing against creativity and gameplay innovation. I want that, but only if it's good innovation.

By the way, I like the idea of the bionic arm.

OuroborosChoked:

I'm sorry, your argument is just dead now. You're actually arguing against creativity and variety in gameplay at this point, and I just won't debate that. It's simply ridiculous. I'll just say this last thing: Yahtzee loved Portal and you could jump in Portal... but it was basically a useless appendage. You got everywhere using portals, so you didn't ever NEED to jump. Bionic Commando is no different... except they took out the unnecessary option of jumping.

I'm done.

Could you have your head any further up your own arse? That guy quite blatently wasn't arguing against creativity or variety in a game. He was saying that you shouldn't have to rely on one piece of equipment for whole or a game. I think it's a fair comment to say you should be able to jump a realistic height over small obstacles, what's wrong with that?

Now, I'm not defending or bashing Yahtzee with this next bit, his reviews are sound and funny if the faults are a bit exaggerated in places but that's his job when it comes down to it. I just think that you are bashing him yourself for God knows what reason. First of all, it's vital to Portal that you have the ability to jump. The fact that you point out that Yahtzee liked it first and then critised this feature shows to me that you haven't play Portal and you're just trying to stir up controversy and bait his fanboys for no apparent reason.
I'm not a huge fan of Yahtzee, it just pisses me off when people try provoke someone into agruing with them for no obvious reason except for maybe it gives you a stiffy.

This is why I stay in the Off Topic/Games sections.

Could you have your head any further up your own arse? That guy quite blatently wasn't arguing against creativity or variety in a game. He was saying that you shouldn't have to rely on one piece of equipment for whole or a game. I think it's a fair comment to say you should be able to jump a realistic height over small obstacles, what's wrong with that?

Thank you.

I read all these pages, struggle past my inability to understand certain styles of sarcasm (notably the fast talking variants) and what do I get? Yahtzee reiterating his opinion. HILARITY.

These videos are not long enough for actual reviews, the "sarcasm" and "wit" is unamusing and Yahtzee is doing "I'm British! Isn't that funny?" a bit much.

Glad you finally reviewed Castle Crasher, even if it was a small part in the overall video. Indeed, the humor had me going throughout the entire game, but the spells and animal orbs brought in a neat addition to the game.

However, the only gripe i have with it is the network issue, in which sometimes players lag out of a gaming session.

While I love your videos I feel compelled to point out that you say you prefer the games you played FIRST, yet berate US for letting nostalgia cloud our judgement. Just sayin.

Lol this was stupid, basically Yahtzee's argument is just the reverse of people who claim all classic games are better than new games.

lol, i remember trying to play the games in this arcade in the westfeild near where i live. it was fun. i was also 6 so i sucked balls. :S

unfortunatly, this arcade was replaced by an aldi and a reject shop. D: so ergh...

funny stuff. :D

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