Discord and Rhyme: When Bad Games Happen to Good People

Discord and Rhyme: When Bad Games Happen to Good People

A special kind of shame comes from being unable to stop playing a game that you know is bad, but it's a shame Matt Turano bets you've all felt at least once.

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And in fact I personally know a guy who finished Daikatana on the N64 and recommended it to me. I just shrugged and told him I didn't own a N64 nor a pc that could run the thing. I only learned about the scorn the game carried some four years later.

I love bland games and I imagine them to greatness. I can even replay them years later. The only thing it needs is an even slightly compelling or imaginitive backdrop I can wonder about and all can be forgiven.

Cases in point:
Blood 2 - (not to be mistaken with part one in the series) I really enjoyed this broken mess.
Witchhaven 2 - even doubly so for this one.
Oni - There's nothing really special here, just an aesthetic and a Ghost in the Shell vibe.
Shogo - And there they do it again.
Dynasty Warriors - Oh yeah, I've smashed my way to 100% completion in three versions of this sucker (DW4, DW5 and DW4 Empires). Why? Maybe because Shang Xiang will live happily ever after with Liu Bei in this one? I really don't know.

I actually liked E.T. for Atari. I'm that twitchy.

I also love Dynasty Warriors in just about any incarnation, excepting Empires. Even I have limits.

(Nitpick: Is the title supposed to be, "Discord and Rhyme: When Bad Games Happen to Good People"?)

I really like Perfect Dark Zero's bizarre Infection and Eradication modes. Once you get past the cover system bugs and familiarize yourself with the ins and outs of the 30-odd weapons and can navigate the confusingly laid out maps, and assuming you have 15-30 other people present with their own XBoxes on a LAN with you(Why yes, this does require at least 16 TV sets), then it's quite a hoot. The weapon balance is actually superb and the rewards for a tightly organized squad are incredible.

Bear in mind I'm almost certain that this scenario only existed when the game was in QA at Microsoft. The seemingly unanimous dislike for that game is well founded, as just about everything else about it is crap.

You know, I had about the same reaction to Too Human. It's NOT a very good game, but it's really engaging. Collection, leveling, and vigorous beatings performed on lots and lots of enemies. Customizing stuff, finding runes and crap, and I did like the world in which it took place. I mean, it was too long and repetitive and the cyberspace stuff was kind of boring and involved too much stomping around, but overall it was fun. I could kick back and flail around on the joysticks and it wasn't too taxing.

I played through Daikatana on the PC, but I turned on god mode about halfway through. Once your sidekicks pick up the damn poison-shooting staff, you're doomed to spend the rest of the level dying slowly from being shot repeatedly in the back. I just wanted to see the levels and stuff...

solipsistnation:
You know, I had about the same reaction to Too Human. It's NOT a very good game, but it's really engaging. Collection, leveling, and vigorous beatings performed on lots and lots of enemies. Customizing stuff, finding runes and crap, and I did like the world in which it took place. I mean, it was too long and repetitive and the cyberspace stuff was kind of boring and involved too much stomping around, but overall it was fun. I could kick back and flail around on the joysticks and it wasn't too taxing.

I played through Daikatana on the PC, but I turned on god mode about halfway through. Once your sidekicks pick up the damn poison-shooting staff, you're doomed to spend the rest of the level dying slowly from being shot repeatedly in the back. I just wanted to see the levels and stuff...

The cyberspace segments annoyed the hell out of me, as they added nothing whatsoever to the story or gameplay. Opening a door shouldn't be a tedious experience of...walking...action...cutscene...walking...proceed. Screw it, just let me open the damn door and move on already.

The more that I think about it, the more I become convinced that Too Human does belong on that list; it pissed me off as much as it entertained me. The fact that I finished it four times probably says more about me than I care to admit.

Daikatana, on the other hand, should have been shot in the face and dropped into a shallow, sandy grave. Believe it or not, the PC version was far superior to the N64 version. Both made Trespasser look like a GotY candidate.

I play BROTRR sometimes and I actually liked Batman Forever for the Sega Genesis (which is a game that was bashed on by the AVGN)

Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel (PS2). I've finished it at least 3 times, though when I played through it with a friend in co-op mode we couldn't get very far.

Perfect Dark (N64). That stupid alien pisses me off to no end, but I like the sentry gun.

Shogo (PC). As mentioned above, it's got a weirdly compelling vibe to it that keeps me coming back despite the craptacular graphics and nonsensical storyline.

Michael Jacksnon's Moonwalker.
One of the hardest games I have ever played.
I still can't get past the thriller level...

I'll get it soon...

Medal oh Honor: Airborne

A terrible game in every aspect, and I mean EVERY aspect, but I really wanted the 'chievements.

Let's see, what else...Jedi Academy. Bland like the rest of the latest LucasArts games(excluding Battlefronts) but I have a chronical disorder that doesn't allow me to leave games unfinished.

 

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