Zero Punctuation: Mercenaries 2

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Thank you Yahtzee for removing those horrible ads and other crap at the end no one ever watched. Could we get some more Intro Sequence Theater?

FSK405K:
Thank you Yahtzee for removing those horrible ads and other crap at the end no one ever watched. Could we get some more Intro Sequence Theater?

I don't think he put those there.

I came sooo close to almost laughing at this one so it's definitely a step up.

I found Mercenaries 2 to be very Funny and Destructive in most cases, but to be honest I don't know why people would complain about it having a Story to it because games like this don't have a Story. Plus you left out the Devestator "AKA the pink bike".

Also if you were implying that Saints Row sucked for most reasons then I dont blame you, but if your smart like me you would know that they were setting you up to have doub't for Saints Row 2, yet when it comes out on the 16 you will find it to be the best game you ever played.

BTW, open world games are the future and we should be looking foward to them.

Please, no more MMO's.

Very true.
The game is a cake walk.

Still very fun though.

Nothing as instantly memorable as "hammer of wank" was (or maybe that's just me), but good nontheless.

ZP is actually one of the more consistent video series on the Internet. Which isn't saying much, but it is a genuine compliment.

I would miss these reviews a lot, if they were to stop.

Excellent, as always - I'm curious about 3:42 too - is your flatmate doing something untoward in the background?

YAY!

They got rid of the pointless admongering!

I can save the vids to my hard drive again!

I think Yahtzee delivers his best reviews depending on the material he has in hand. This is a clear example of it.

For the first time in about a month I haven't been sat with my laptop waiting for the video to get uploaded (I went to see Dylan Moran live tonight! Awesome) And from people freaking out that the video was 15 minutes late, it's maybe for the best.

Great review, awesome humour (as always) and an even better call losing the 6 minute advert at the end of it all.

Not that I ever watched more than 1 of them, but looking at the time line and seeing how much ZP I'm going to actually get seems a lot more honest.

Now all that's left is getting rid of the new theme music and going back to the wonderful weekly choices :P

Take it easy.

Niiice, no ads. Additionally, this review is the funniest yet. I guess it's because the game is sorta like some of the older games that have been reviewed, I don't know. Reminds me of Army of Two.

The past few reviews were a bit dry on humor and I thought maybe you had hired someone new to write your jokes.. but this was a great one and has me fully interested again.

ALSO.. Am I the only one who wants the old intros back, where yahtzee put in his own music? The new intro is okay but, meh.. I liked the old ones.
Shouldn't have said that.. Now they'll never come back.

Anyway, good to have you back in prime Yahtzee. Looking forward to next week.

Gotta love how every new video is a "return to form".

A *little* disappointed more time wasn't spent pondering the peculiar design decision to hire 200 voice actors to all say just 5 lines, meaning you hear the same crap repeatedly, but in several different voices.

Can't wait for the inevitable Force Unleashed vid.
I assume Yahtzee is phyching himself up for it. Or was that what all the George Lucas hating in recent times was for?

Aw hell, Lucas is the new Ben Affleck, you don't even NEED a reaso to hate him anymore, just the fact he still exists is enough.

The best part of the whole review, was the fact that there no Ad's at the end of it! :o

...and it was still pretty awesome review as always.

Ah, a return to 'Old Yahtzee' it would seem

I am very happy, this was awesome.

Spot bloody on, mate!

He's right, if you want to get past the surface shittiness of the game, it's pretty great. I think a lot of the games are actually a lot better than he reveiws them,jsut Yahtzee figured out after about his second interveiw that saying nice things = bad ratings.

After all, everybody loves a good train wreck (which is both the premise of the reveiws and Merc2's gameplay mechanic).

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ha. Heheh. ... Ha. ... ... ... Hoo, that was a barrel of laughs and chuckles about a game I've never heard of. Nice.

I seriously don't see why people hate this game. So what if the AI is slow, or if Ewen is only useful after you kill everyone, or if stealing enemy vehicles is easy, or if the story is slow. THATS NOT WHAT THIS KIND OF GAME IS ABOUT! Its about blowing stuff up and total destruction and enjoying youself while you doing it. So to all of you who condemned this game without even trying to enjoy it (that means you as well Yahtzee) I say FUCK YOU!

You wanna know the ultimate irony? If they didnt put those quick time events in and just left it with a single button push you'd be ripping on it for being even MORE easy. You idiots.

Nice to see the ads have been cut back to a few relevant seconds at the end...where they can be safely ignored.

Ha, very good review this week.
Yahtzee avoids trying to intentionally piss off some group of gamers, and win insues.
Nice to have old Yahtzee back.

Man, I loved today's episode! Especially the platoon/hostage parts.

Good work Mr. Croshaw!

Great timing. Fucking hilarious. In fact, this is my favorite so far. Never before have I laughed so much. Perhaps it has something to do, however, with the 5 or 10 (I can't remember) whiskey+coke's I've had tonight in a vain attempt to forget about my pathetic existence. Well, whatever; laughed constantly, great job, and it is true: I would miss you if you were gone.

Anti-helicopter scones, FTW!! Now that would be a great weapon to add to an FPS.

Excellent review as always. I shall never again see in the same way, a wooden box of rockets lying by the road.

Toss away the generic theme song, bring back the theme songs with the witty association! They make the reviews much more special.

TheHecatomb:

And this game does suck balls.

Yeah but its sounds fun tho, who doesnt like blowing stuff up!
Gta 4 was a peice o shit and we all had fun torturing dimitri over it so s'all good

Getting it back, getting it back.

Quite hilarious.

yourkie1921:
Please, no more MMO's.

Fuck, man! Since when has it mattered what kind of game Yahtzee reviews? Honest to Pete.

Pretty funny. They finally got rid of all but the t shirt adds.

QUNT - now that's special spelling.

one wonders if the real mercenaries (the American people) realise they're to be called up to shoot their own comrades, on the streets of USA in the name of martial law? Remember, the instantaneous pressure differential of those spectacular airstrikes dissolve your innards to mushy wushy if you stand too close - they don't tell you that in this entertaining urban-warfare recruitment package either.

I would miss you if you went away, you amuse me greatly and the animations are delightful. And that does seem to be the definition of terrorism these days, 'tis a pity.

Woohoo! I got what I wanted!

Mercs 2 is like 300 to my mind. Even I can see how horribly flawed it is, but that doesn't stop it being mindless fun. The day I grow tired of sticking C4 onto a motorbike, jumping it off a cliff, leaping off said bike and detonating it as it slams into the side of a Hummer is the day I have become and old and boring bastard... or possibly the day I've unlocked the MOAB.

The_root_of_all_evil:
Ok, that's a return to form. Funny, witty and the crashing together of highbrow and lowbrow.

Intro still sux though.

Yep, what he said. I still want to play it though. Sounds like just the kind of stress release I need after a hard days work...

Pretty funny review, I thought Merc2 was ok, it didn't really do anything to "wow" me. Im always surprised when Yahtzee can so easily fit phrases like "dick pavlova" into a review.

Keep up the good work!

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