Zero Punctuation: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

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Medicloreans ???

*choke*
*gargle*

animalbrad:
did you forget that yahtzee hates lucus arts

No, I didn't forget that, but just because you hate a company, doesn't mean that all of their games are shit automatically...unless it's RockStar

I am confused by the fact he constantly talks about graphics not mattering and yet the moment he talks about the Wii or the DS he leaps at the Graphical quality at the first chance he gets.

But, as always, hilarious reveiw and ritualistic beating of George Lucas is always funny (especially since he's the one providing the "alternatives" to funding a new Psyconaughts or Grim Fandango)

Roboshi:
I am confused by the fact he constantly talks about graphics not mattering and yet the moment he talks about the Wii or the DS he leaps at the Graphical quality at the first chance he gets.

and in the Crysis review mentioning how good they are.

He only seems to mention them when they are particularly good or bad, hhmmm I wonder if he has thought about being a critic ?

I agree with everything said about the wii and about star wars in this review. They both should have died a while back.

Anyway, about the dream of an extension that makes the wii actually work, it's on its way, WiiMotionPlus i think it's called. Should have been included at launch, but it's not like Nintendo to miss out on a bit of money upgrading their hardware is it?

Edable Giraffe:
I agree with everything said about the wii and about star wars in this review. They both should have died a while back.

Anyway, about the dream of an extension that makes the wii actually work, it's on its way, WiiMotionPlus i think it's called. Should have been included at launch, but it's not like Nintendo to miss out on a bit of money upgrading their hardware is it?

What about the PS3 and it's removal and sudden reattaching of the Rumble feature. Add-ons are always gonnas be made and the reason for this is always because it makes cash.

XPats:
Did somebody actually ask why people dislike the the Star Wars prequels so much? Really?

The terrible dialogue, the lack of pacing, crappy character development, overused and fake looking CGI.

Oh, and Jar Jar Binks.

I think that about sums it up.

Anakin: I hate sand, it's coarse, hard . . . not like you, you're soft. Makeout with me!
(she does)

....

the 360 version kicks ass. the ps3's controller is irritating and I doubt that TFU used much PS3 power that the 360 doesn't. The wii's controller sucks ass now and the console is not powerful enough for all the awesomeness TFU showed.

mix jedi academy's force power options, acrobatics, multiplayer modes and customization with TFU's story, level design, graphics, and force/physics engine, and it would be uberness at it's finest.

I Disagree with Yahtzee, if only slightly. There have been some Wii games that look SO much better than Forced Unleashed, not even close to PS3 or 360 graphics but still much better than pixelated flying crap du jour. I have to wonder if perhaps a bit more effort in the parts of the developers would have made it look better. Still that doesn't help the controls, didn't even bother trying it out at Comicon this summer, It just didn't look interesting.

I was of the same opinion when I played the demo.
Giant rooms filled with about 10-20 little people. If you're intent on using your light sabre, you need to walk slowly from one to the other and twat them about a bit.
Of course, the way ANYONE would do it is to blast them from a distance.

An action game like this needs to have small areas to keep the battle close to make you WANT to use that sword in your hands, otherwise there's no point since it all takes too long.

And yeah...George Lucas needs to be retired. It's like once the money dried up from the original trilogy he thought "Aw crap, people aren't talking about me any more. I know! I'll show everyone my vision!!"
Note to all directors. No-one cares about your "vision" or your "message" we just want to be entertained.
No subtle references to terrorism, no talk of freedom and no surrupticious mentions of how we all overcame 911, thank you very much (only New Yorkers did. The rest of the world got over it 5 and a half years ago).

I can't believe he actually said the PS3 version looked good, I rented it, and couldn't stop laughing at the number of glitches - a boss even teleported 4miles into the air and all I could see was a flying lightsaber.

The game was incomplete, they actually removed things that were in the demo version (enemies grabbing onto objects) and there were too many glitches, so i never finished the game.

I agree with the review totally other than the +ve comments he made=]

UltraBlumpkin:

XPats:
Did somebody actually ask why people dislike the the Star Wars prequels so much? Really?

The terrible dialogue, the lack of pacing, crappy character development, overused and fake looking CGI.

Oh, and Jar Jar Binks.

I think that about sums it up.

Anakin: I hate sand, it's coarse, hard . . . not like you, you're soft. Makeout with me!
(she does)

....

Hey uh, could you help me with something?

Here's a knife, I'm going to turn around, and I want you to aim for the brain stem, think you can do that?

I ask this because I can't STAND thinking about that line, let alone the whole Romance arc of the movies. GODDAMN it was horrible.

Yeah, the Wii version is crap, a few weeks ago my friend was complaining about it.

Opacic:
The terrible dialogue

Right, cos the original trilogy had the best written screenplay ever. It puts the authors of classic literature to shame, clearly.

the lack of pacing

Agree for Ep 2, inclined to disagree for Ep 1, totally disagree for Ep 3.

crappy character development

Again, far too sweeping a generalisation. Agree for Hayden Christiansen's Anakin, neither agree nor disagree for Natalie Portman's Padme, disagree on Liam Neeson's Qui-Gon.

overused and fake looking CGI

The CGI defines the visual direction of the new trilogy and in places is integrated spectacularly. Some of the Naboo sets spring to mind. Instances where another more important part of the moviemaking process is sacrificed for CGI is rare, and compensated for the impressiveness of the visual spectacle for things like (say) the lightsabre duel in Ep 1.

And whilst we're talking about realism... you really want to compare the CGI with the special effects of the old trilogy? Jabba the Hutt? The lightsabre duel in Ep 4? Puppet Yoda?

Oh, and Jar Jar Binks.

Ewoks.

I quite agree with everything you said there, mister Yathzee (a.k.a God).
I recently purchased this game and was hoping you'd review it soon enough, but knowing your insidious hatred for anyone and anything that tries to tell you to do your job, I wouldn't want to suggest it to you.

Also, graphics-wise: I was watching the trailers for the Xbox 360, thinking "man, that's not looking too shabby."
Then I purchased the Wii version, not owning an Xbox, and... urgh. What IS that smelly vomit on my TV screen? The first level with Darth Vader was so, so depressing. Booooooo!
Some of the levels were, however, acceptable, but still... it looks like something I should've played with the hardware available ~10 years ago, not something from 2008.

Finally, could we just get rid of George Lucas somehow? Please.

Giant rooms filled with about 10-20 little people. If you're intent on using your light sabre, you need to walk slowly from one to the other and twat them about a bit.

What game were you playing? And do you mean the darth vader level? Darth vader's supposed to be slow and the apprentice is faster. and on the xbox I can go from enemy to enemy fairly quickly. Did you use the sprint button?

Opacic:

UltraBlumpkin:

XPats:
Did somebody actually ask why people dislike the the Star Wars prequels so much? Really?

The terrible dialogue, the lack of pacing, crappy character development, overused and fake looking CGI.

Oh, and Jar Jar Binks.

I think that about sums it up.

Anakin: I hate sand, it's coarse, hard . . . not like you, you're soft. Makeout with me!
(she does)

....

Hey uh, could you help me with something?

Here's a knife, I'm going to turn around, and I want you to aim for the brain stem, think you can do that?

I ask this because I can't STAND thinking about that line, let alone the whole Romance arc of the movies. GODDAMN it was horrible.

Hahaha, I went with some friends to see it the weekend it came out. During that scene, the three of us laughed out loud in the theater and we got "SHHHHHHHH'd" by like 5 people around us. Some guy even chucked his popcorn at us, but missed and hit the people behind us. They were not happy Jedi. I like Star Wars and all, but the dialogue is just laughable (literally). It's a fun movie to watch once, but sad that it detracts from the original 3.

The game was fun for the ps3
Thanks for another sweet review Yatzee

Sad that I played the demo of this more than the actual game when I rented it. Just throwing the boxes and stuff around was very relaxing.

I certainly hope Silent Hill is next week

That was a great review. Didn't play the Wii Version, only the 360 version, but your review still rings true on many things.

look i haz opinion about this video!!!!
funny

Sabbad:
Right, cos the original trilogy had the best written screenplay ever. It puts the authors of classic literature to shame, clearly.

Never said that. I just said it was better than the hamfisted romance screenplay that Lucas tried to shove in through the whole trilogy.

Agree for Ep 2, inclined to disagree for Ep 1, totally disagree for Ep 3.

Ep 1 was the least of the offenders. Ep 2 was beginning to show the signs of way too many screenwipes and switches between the Anakin story arc and the whole Obi-wan going to Kamino.

Episode 3 was the worst one (though I do believe that it was the best of the prequel trilogies) far too many screenwipes, it was really grating for me, I'm not sure for everyone else but it really broke the flow, so to speak.

Again, far too sweeping a generalisation. Agree for Hayden Christiansen's Anakin, neither agree nor disagree for Natalie Portman's Padme, disagree on Liam Neeson's Qui-Gon.

Hahaha, Padme had development? The most development was her death and sudden heartbreak, that really does make up for the past movies where nothing about her changed. Natalie Portman is also a horrible actor.

Qui-Gon had no development, in the EU he has a great deal of character development, and I believe he really is a great character pre-Phantom Menace, I could argue that this is due to the fact that there wasn't much time to develop him further.

And whilst we're talking about realism...

You're talking about realism in a Science Fiction film, just a note.

The CGI defines the visual direction of the new trilogy and in places is integrated spectacularly. Some of the Naboo sets spring to mind. Instances where another more important part of the moviemaking process is sacrificed for CGI is rare, and compensated for the impressiveness of the visual spectacle for things like (say) the lightsabre duel in Ep 1.

And whilst we're talking about realism... you really want to compare the CGI with the special effects of the old trilogy? Jabba the Hutt? The lightsabre duel in Ep 4? Puppet Yoda?

It just looked better, although the lightsabre duel in Empire was horribly, especially the lightsabres themselves. Apparently Lucas gave them little time to rehearse, and according to Hamill he wasn't told about the "lolImurfather" scene until a few hours before the scene was to be shot.

And goddamn, you're kidding about Jabba right? I can't imagine him being CGI, he looked fleshy, disgusting and damn right like he was there, not inserted from a blue screen.

Once again, Puppet Yoda (done by the masterful Jim Henson, and don't you fucking dare say bad things about him) looked a whole lot better than his CGI compatriot in the prequels.

Ewoks.

Believe me, every self respecting Star Wars fan hates those things. But at least they didn't speak in a vaguely understandable annoying dribble, with them it was maybe a little cute if you were a kid, but I doubt even children would find Jar Jar appealing.

Y'know, I really liked the 360 version. But then, flinging Stormtroopers out spaceship windows and dangling them in front of the Death Star's planet killing laser array just never gets old.

Or Force Gripping three of them into the air, then using their bodies to bombard a fourth stormtrooper.

I'm surprised there was no mention of the QTEs. Does the Wii lack them or what? I thought they were pretty well done in the XBox version, you knew when to expect them, and only the bosses had long QTE chains, with the large enemies having 3 button chains (i.e. Scrap Titans), and the small enemies having single button chains (i.e. Imperial Guard -- though it was easy enough to kill all but the black ones without them anyways -- but it's fun to say "FUCK YOU" at the end of a long fight and snap their neck).

And honestly, the acting was a lot better than Episode 1, 2, or 3, in my opinion. :P

ok i just want to say the seccond trillogy of starwars is good. not brilliant, not genious, and by no means does it live up to the original film. its kinda like THE ROOKIE, ( you know the story about the texas hs teacher who becomes a tampa bay devil ray,) it was good, was worth seeing, but not what anyone would consider to be classic,

now as for that animated thing lucas put out, ( if you are over the age of 8) you would quite seriously get more enjoyment out of taking a dump in you pants and stabbing yourself simultaniously. I ACTUALLY WANTED TO LEAVE THE THEATER, problem was i was in england at the time and had absolutely no idea what the ticket return policy is in england, so my freind and i sat through the mindF$#K of a film

UltraBlumpkin:
Hahaha, I went with some friends to see it the weekend it came out. During that scene, the three of us laughed out loud in the theater and we got "SHHHHHHHH'd" by like 5 people around us. Some guy even chucked his popcorn at us, but missed and hit the people behind us. They were not happy Jedi. I like Star Wars and all, but the dialogue is just laughable (literally). It's a fun movie to watch once, but sad that it detracts from the original 3.

"I find your lack of pants disturbing, admiral."
"Now witness the power of these fully operational pants!"
"Luke, I am your PANTS."
"But I can't see with my pants down, how am I supposed to fight?"

Star Wars dialogue - Insert pants, laugh harder.

Too off-topic for me

the only good piece of info i got was that the saber controls on the wii were hard
that sums up the review right there

P.S: who is the lawyer in the vid?

Edit: nvm i found out

Fantastic as always!

ppl do kno tht he is dissin this game on the wii?? not anyother console lol, but as always good review, i liked the "me n a friend played the duel mode, i was anikin n he was darth vader, just to completely fuck up the cannon" lol, left me in stitches:P

tell me have you heard

I rarely agree with the entire review, but this time, nailed it!!!

Have they unbanned Silent Hill V in Australia yet? The R18 being waved around makes me think not. No R rating in Australia, so you can't rate SH, so it can't come out. Such balls. If I can't play SH5, at least Yahtzee has to...!

I hope to all hell he gets his hands on it soon. Trashing Lucas Arts is fun and all, but I've been waiting for the SH review since 0rigins.

YES!!! MY POINT EXACLTY - IT IS THE SA PREMEIR WHO WON'T LET US HAVE AN R18+ RATING!!

(Sorry, I'm dedicated)

The bit at the end about George Lucas was comedy gold! good stuff

* Not premier - Attorney General - Sorry - I live in WA and it's 1 am. I should go to bed.

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