Zero Punctuation: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

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Magnetic2:
Wow, that was awesome. Brilliant, good show. I really thought Yahtzee would hit up Silent Hill: Homecoming this time around, hold on... nope, not out till November in Australia.

It's actually banned now!

That was more of a rant on the Wiimote rather than a review of the actual game, but eh.

i liked force unleashed for xbox that is

the 360 is a 9 wii n/a ps3 n/a two n/a because i never played force unleashed on those and never will

Yahtzee's right, everybody in SA has *some* sort of bone to pick with Michael Atkitson, attorney-general
nice reference

Ivoryagent:
That was more of a rant on the Wiimote rather than a review of the actual game, but eh.

Perhaps, but as soon as I saw the Wiimote I thought 'Lightsabre Duels'. It was the one thing the Wii was asking for.

I found in very amusing, this ZP, although I've not played 'Force Unleashed' and didn't plan to at all (lets be honest, you could tell from the demo video's it wasn't going to light the world on fire, nor even warm it a fraction)

Anyway... my predictions for bad upcoming games:
Duke Nuke'm forever (assuming it really is coming out in less than month and isn't just to tortment fans)
C&C Red Alert 3 (although it saddens me to say so)
That Space Marines one (no, not Dawn of War 2, the FPS one)
Halo Wars (probably)

I cracked up at the windmill analogy, and I also laugh at that George Lucas picture because it makes him look like a gerbil or something.

Maybe that's why there were CG gophers in Indy 4.

totally agree, but i never played the wii version, so i have to go off ps3, not much better though.

It sucked on the PS3 and 360 too. Not for crappy controls, but because it had brilliantly shitty gameplay elements like pulling that fucking Star Destroyer out of the sky. So retarded. It was also buggy as hell, with people falling through the floor often, and the general storyline being pretty much awful for the exact reasons Yahtzee states.

The PSP version is probably the least horrifying of the lot of them, and even that isn't saying much. When are they going to make another Republic Commando game?

Not that special, the whole "Star Wars prequels and George Lucas suck so I'll just make as many jokes as possible about that" routine is getting old. One per episode at the most Yahtzee, maybe you could've got away with two for this one considering the subject matter.

LOL Midoclorions. I don't know what that word means but I laughed anyway. This was the best review yet.

Well, I already understood that this Star Wars game wasn't going to be anything good, at least not anything good that warrants its price tag, so I could care less what review it gets. But come on, lay off the Wii. It has its good games. Sure, most people are probably done with those games already but there are also WiiWare games that can tide you over until the next big thing.

It's easy to be picky about the selection of quality games when you're able to get more than one game a month. I'm lucky to get three or four games in one year.

As for the controller... the use of it is so limited because the objects on screen don't necessarily follow your movements exactly. But some games make good use of this limitation. I thought the best part about Mario Kart Wii was the stunts you can pull off with just a shake of the remote. It's simple but very effective.

Ahhh... Nice to see this old bastard back on his game for the first time in a while (at least in my opinion, which obviously doesn't mean much ^-^). Personally, I've found a great deal of the Star Wars videogames to be clones of each other *coughcough*, and the movies to be sad attempts to recreate the glory of what once was... back in 1977. Although I must grudgingly admit that I have a liking for the Knights of the Old Republic, if only because HK-47 is one of the best androids that I have come to know and love- with Marvin coming in to tie for first place- and that some of the random little breakout fits between tagalong NPCs (ie- those mostly useless eyesores that were your 'teammates') were comical :)

(besides that, in the first game at least you could kill most everything by whacking at or blasting it long enough, making some of the otherwise sweet powers such as "Shock" and "Choke" mute and somewhat useless... though they kinda were to begin with ~.~)

diocles777:
LOL Midoclorions. I don't know what that word means but I laughed anyway. This was the best review yet.

...

...Just get out.

the force unleashed is a good time waster but thats about it

Oh, I thought it was going to be Dynasty Warriors 6. Either way it's still funny, even though I don't know who the hell Micheal Ackinson is.

I enjoyed the game. But then again I got the 360 version so it didnt suck as bad as that.

well I liked the game alot I tried a demo of it on Wii and the wii mote flew out of my hands from all the waving yes I was wearing my strap

haha that one was funny XD

I have a few friends that are convinced that this is the greatest game to ever be shat out of LucasArts hairy asshole.

I'll show them this video ;).

I wish he'd review games he likes. If I wanted to see someone dis every game ever made I'd watch AVGN!

I'm not getting this game because it's already been made*. Actually, it's been made twice**. It's called the Jedi Knight series, and it's fucking awesome. It doesn't bog itself down in the prequels, and major characters from the films appear in completely non-intrusive and awesome ways. It also has a protagonist who is the definition of badass.

* Also, I don't have a next-gen console.
** Well, technically, it's been made THREE times if you count Jedi Academy, but I don't.

I remember a time when the Star Wars games were good, they were the cornerstone of gaming, actually I was too young to remember most of them, but I do remember the gametrailers.com retrospective that made it look like the bees-knees and the few games I manage to salvage from bargain bins and ebay lived up to that reputation mostly by keeping that old school (original trilogy) look and feel.

I think Lucas is up the with Kojima and Warhol who live up to the saying "It takes two people to make a masterpiece: Firstly the Artist to create the work and Secondly they Guy to bash the Artist over the head and stop him when the masterpiece is finished" because if you let them keep going they will turn their masterpiece into a mess.

Star Wars was one of those great franchises and Lucas had a great rhythm by hiring in new writers and directors to get a different feel and direction, he was perfect as a Producer of a massive expanded universe and many successful and influential games. But after expanding his canvas over twenty years in film, books, comics, and video games, he turned revisionist and managed to spoil all later works by altering the original trilogy and finally making an extremely contradictory prequel trilogy.

Lucas also gave up the great practice of bringing in outside creativity, the Prequel trilogy seriously needed another director, writer and casting director than Lucas. He though he could do it all, and you have to give it to him he knows what he wants but really he doesn't know how to get there and often needs help, not 'yes men' but 'George-that-is-stupid-try-something-else men'

Ultimately, you hero's are mere mortals and as fallible as all of us and in the end the only winner is the Estate of Alec Guinness, damn he was smart to ask for a percentage.

anyhoo, Psi Ops: Mindgate Conspiracy is much better for force/telekinetic powers in a gameplay where it somehow is able to play smoother. As for the terrible light sabre combat, and I don't mean the Wii problems, I mean how when storm troopers are hit by a light sabre that can SLICE THROUGH THE BULKHEAD OF A SPACE SHIP if has all the effect of hitting a punching bad with a whiffle bat. One slash should bisect them, sending decapitated and amputated extremities everywhere and why is it so hard to even move in for the kill, lock on is terrible and the jump is ridiculously implemented with attack.

So just alternate between Ninja Gaiden and Psi Ops and you'll do way better than this game.

animalbrad:
did you forget that yahtzee hates lucus arts

really funny

Yahtzee hates everything.

It's actually pretty funny how hypocritical Mr Croshaw is.

He says that people are stupid for saying older versions of games are better (ie Mario Sunshine/Twilight Princess vs Mario 64/Ocarina of Time) and yet he maintains that the original Starwars is better than the newer ones...odd.

I played Sunshine and Twilight Princess before 64 and OoT and think they're both better. I also saw the new SW trilogy before the old one and I think it's better. I don't understand the problem people have with them.

On topic, this weeks ZP was funny as always but lacked any real depth. More on the actual game next time and less on the gimmicky console please.

What? No-one loses their hand? That's, like, a Jedi prerequisite! Luke and Anakin lost their hands (and a couple of game Jedis did too).

Suckage!

Good review, by the way.

shaun832:

Magnetic2:
Wow, that was awesome. Brilliant, good show. I really thought Yahtzee would hit up Silent Hill: Homecoming this time around, hold on... nope, not out till November in Australia.

It's actually banned now!

Because of Michael Atkinson!

So, what you're telling me is; Darth Vader is upgraded from wimpy whiney teen to babysnatcher, sics his baby-snatched apprentice on goons with a worthless lightsaber, and tries to tie the prequel garbage trilogy to the good oldschool stuff with shiny force powers? Sign me up?

I'd have to add: the best part of this game is bowling for goons with droids. Seriously. Otherwise, great review!

My video wont load, the flash will work for some sites but not others. I running the newest safari, i also tried the latest version of Firefox. and Java is enabled.

Bakery:
I also saw the new SW trilogy before the old one and I think it's better.

You know, you're about the second person I've ever encountered who has said that. And frankly, I find it positively baffling - nay, FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE that anyone would think that. HOW!?!?!? HOW is it better!? By what measure!?

Seriously, I was on the debate team - I have a good idea of how to find the good parts of an argument, and even how to argue for it myself. But I honestly cannot even BEGIN to think of a good reason why the prequel trilogy was better than the original, much less build a convincing case. This leads me to believe that you do not, in fact, think this is the case for any logical reason, but rather want to believe this for the sake of being a contrarian. You think you're a "rebel" for going against popular opinion, but in fact you're playing right into the hands of a billionaire who stopped giving a shit about 20 years ago. I honestly can't think of any other logical reason why someone might say what you just said.

Yes, I know opinions are subjective. That doesn't stop me from saying that yours is bullshit.

This is kind of off topic, but perhaps a link to download the videos could be added, I enjoy yahtzees reviews but I am unfortunately temporarily condemned to dial-up internet (recent college grad living with parents in rural kansas until I find a job) and even getting the embedded player to load takes a dozen page refreshes.

Give the poor dial up users a break

BBQ Platypus:

Bakery:
I also saw the new SW trilogy before the old one and I think it's better.

You know, you're about the second person I've ever encountered who has said that. And frankly, I find it positively baffling - nay, FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE that anyone would think that. HOW!?!?!? HOW is it better!? By what measure!?

Seriously, I was on the debate team - I have a good idea of how to find the good parts of an argument, and even how to argue for it myself. But I honestly cannot even BEGIN to think of a good reason why the prequel trilogy was better than the original, much less build a convincing case. This leads me to believe that you do not, in fact, think this is the case for any logical reason, but rather want to believe this for the sake of being a contrarian. You think you're a "rebel" for going against popular opinion, but in fact you're playing right into the hands of a billionaire who stopped giving a shit about 20 years ago. I honestly can't think of any other logical reason why someone might say what you just said.

Yes, I know opinions are subjective. That doesn't stop me from saying that yours is bullshit.

what he said... good

Great review. The PS3/360 version is awesome though, it's at least a must-rent just becuase it's short.

BBQ Platypus:

Bakery:
I also saw the new SW trilogy before the old one and I think it's better.

You know, you're about the second person I've ever encountered who has said that. And frankly, I find it positively baffling - nay, FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE that anyone would think that. HOW!?!?!? HOW is it better!? By what measure!?

Seriously, I was on the debate team - I have a good idea of how to find the good parts of an argument, and even how to argue for it myself. But I honestly cannot even BEGIN to think of a good reason why the prequel trilogy was better than the original, much less build a convincing case. This leads me to believe that you do not, in fact, think this is the case for any logical reason, but rather want to believe this for the sake of being a contrarian. You think you're a "rebel" for going against popular opinion, but in fact you're playing right into the hands of a billionaire who stopped giving a shit about 20 years ago. I honestly can't think of any other logical reason why someone might say what you just said.

Yes, I know opinions are subjective. That doesn't stop me from saying that yours is bullshit.

Agreed

i only liked the end of episode 3 with darth vadar.

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