171: Boll Versus the World

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Boll Versus the World

"Uwe Boll was supposed to act like a raving lunatic, a spittle-spewing madman as convinced of his own creative genius as he was of everyone else's stupidity. After all, this was the guy who told one reviewer, 'Go to your mum and fuck her,' challenged others to fight him in a boxing match and assured the world that he's 'not a fucking retard like Michael Bay.' Gentility, subtlety and grace did not seem likely to be on the day's agenda. I was expecting a firebrand hack. What I got instead was a passionate and thoughtful would-be artist."

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I can find any movie or television show entertaining to some degree (Except Heroes, thank you last night's episode for the final nail in the coffin), so while I can understand why people don't like Uwe Boll's movie, I don't quite understand the level of hatred.

I don't really think there's anything he says in that article that's going to change anyone's mind about him, but it raises some interesting questions. I wonder if he would be so hated if he didn't do videogame movies. Not because of their reputation, but because he wouldn't be angering fans or accused of being uncreative.

By the way, too many unnecessary asides, and the first paragraph on page 2 was a little poorly worded. But you're forgiven, the article was still a fantastic read.

Uwe Boll is to video games what Ed Wood Jr. was to space aliens. A deep, abiding love and appreciation of crap can be cultivated as part of one's overall aesthetic sense without necessarily sacrificing one's claim to good judgment---I'm sure Roger Ebert has Reefer Madness or Plan 9 From Outer Space in his secret personal stash of DVDs.

That said, to take Boll seriously as a filmmaker only works if one is going for a sort of post-modern irony that I thought went out with the Clinton administration. In which case bravo Susan for an excellent foray into "Seinfeld retro" (to coin a phrase).

I have to say, I think Boll is in the process of making the transition into being a serious filmmaker.

A little while back, some friends and I watched Dungeon Siege out of curiosity. We wanted to scrub our eyes out with steel wool afterwords - it was that terrible. But, I'd heard that Postal had actually managed to get a good review or two, so I managed to convince a couple of friends to watch it with me.

We had a blast with Postal. Not only was it a funny movie, it was a REALLY good one. It was like the South Park movie - it would offend anybody who was easily offended, but if you weren't, it was a blast, with a lot of social commentary added in. We couldn't believe that we were watching an Uwe Boll movie.

Now, looking at Tunnel Rats, we have a movie which managed to score a good review out of Variety - and apparently a lot of other critics. Boll may have been a joke before, but I'm getting the feeling he's going to end up as one of the more interesting indie filmmakers in the future.

Best to all,

Robert Marks

googling the phrase "I hate Uwe Boll" turns up a truly alarming number of hits

I prefer to call it "reassuring" rather than alarming.

Seriously, if you have any, ANY doubt as to what really rolls around in the head of this troll, read the quotes on this page:http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/rants/AloneInTheDark/

For every new movie that gets bad reviews he has said that "people only remember my past movies, but this is the work of a genius!"... EVERY TIME!

Tunnel Rats is actually really good word of mouth advertising right now. Of course, this time he has chosen to make the movie first, and then produce a game based on it. I guess he does not know that the only thing that stinks more than a movie based on a video game is a game based on a movie.

Dectilon:

googling the phrase "I hate Uwe Boll" turns up a truly alarming number of hits

I prefer to call it "reassuring" rather than alarming.

Seriously, if you have any, ANY doubt as to what really rolls around in the head of this troll, read the quotes on this page:http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/rants/AloneInTheDark/

For every new movie that gets bad reviews he has said that "people only remember my past movies, but this is the work of a genius!"... EVERY TIME!

This. plus you know the whole "punch out critics who don't have boxing training" thing. Some say that's badass, I say it isn't badass when you're the one with a distinct skill advantage and you backed down from people with actual ability who challenged you.

Boll is and always will be a hack.

I don't have a lot of love for Boll's movies (what I've seen so far is total crap) I have to respect his willingness to a) take risks and b) keep trying despite the flak. Most people, no matter how thick skinned, would have just thrown their hands up and said "the hell with this!" awhile ago, but he keeps on plugging. That shows a certain love of his craft that no amount of poor quality will completely wipe away.

That said, the guy does need to get away from video game movies. If this Tunnel Rats movie is anything like it sounds, it may prove he can make a good movie, as long as there is no game involved. For his sake, I hope so.

I once watched house of the dead just to see "Boll's creative genius". And I have to say I laughed... however it wasn't at the jokes, or at remarks... it was at horrible, horrible movie choices. Like how people can still stand up after taking a terminal blow through the chest and finish off the bad guy, or a girl with no military training can shoot a desert eagle with dead on accuracy and inverted recoil and lets not forget the drunk sea captain who "illegally" smuggles machetes or blows himself to bits for no bloody reason. And while i have to admit his boxing skills are far beyond that of movie critics, his boxing skills weren't exactly the reason he was criticized.

I must applaud Susan for going into this with an open mind and leaving with the same; though there are some 'eye-twitches' there.

I think that Uwe Boll suffers from Molyneux syndrome, where they promise the world and deliver leftovers.

I mean the directors commentary on House of the Dead is full of lines that would make Dubya sound smart.

However, I don't think it's quite that simple...

Germany's insane laws, which helped fund Boll's original efforts allowed him to make movies that bombed so badly, and were so badly made; BUT got re-funded by the German Arts Council.

Now, if you ask Ben Croshaw or Chris Slack (or even Russ Pitts), how much they received, versus how much they spent, I'm sure there would be a huge disparity.

Boll had all of his films paid for.

That's the reason he has so much ire directed towards him, jealousy of a man that was allowed to use the Philosopher's stone to turn shit into gold.

Put House of the Dead next to Bad Taste and tell me who you'd hire?

I don't think his movies are exactly meant to be arthouse flicks, but I still found Postal fucking hilarious, and enjoyed it. What more could one want from a movie? To criticise technical niggles in his movies is like criticising McDonalds for not serving A-Grade steak. And I agree with him about Michael Bay.

I tried to take some buddies to see Postal, but we couldn't find it anywhere. I'll have to rent it some time.

One of the few objective ways to judge an artist is their capacity to learn from their mistakes. The fact that he keeps getting up after so many...eh, alright, I'll add 'Postal' to my Netflix.

I'll go ahead and say that his video-game-based movies didn't really "matter" that much. Let's face it, he was just turning one form of make-believe into another. The only people who really felt "hit" by his craptacular turns at the director's chair were gamers who wanted to see a more true-to-the-material movie based on their favored intellectual property.

However, a movie on Darfur? That is an entirely different echelon there- a still-in-the-headlines humanitarian tragedy that has provoked strong feelings across all walks of life. Uwe Boll is spinning a lot of rope with this project; it's entirely up to him whether he'll use it to hang his career completely or pull it out of the pit it's in.

If he pulls this off and delivers a respectable movie on the subject, I'll give him all due respect.

Uwe Boll:
"...Never hire an actress before you've met her."

Duh! I don't dislike Uwe Boll for his horrible movies (even though they are unbarable) I dislike the guy because he's a horrible director. He makes so many mistakes which he blames on others. "It was actor X; it was the scipt; it was..." No, it's his fault!

Few have praised him for making films on low budgets, but that's also fried bullshit! Guerilla film making, no budget and student films can sometimes be absolutly amazing and far greater than Alone In The Dark or House Of The Dead could ever hope to achieve.

Uwe Boll shouldn't be in the position of directing or have any power over the creative side of a film.

His movies still suck.

I am reminded of a quote from Good Morning Vietnam, something about licking the sweat off a dead man's balls. that's what I think of when I think of Uwe Boll. What amazes me is that he's actually managed to get some well respected actors to star in his drivel.

Boll movies are great for watching with friends if you are not after some serious time. The main problem with his movies are that they often have relatively low production value--and for the quality that he pulls them off, I'd say he made pretty good use of the budget. If given a team of experts to help on scripts and art directions (like all big budget movies) I think he could pull a very decent job.
The problem is he used to very oftenly pick up the "horror" genre, with lots of ghost and ghouls, then go about it according to the video game representation of the franchise--with lots of actions, and hot chicks. If anything, I think he represents the video game version perfectly--that is, to not take it too damn seriously.

With that said, I have never been able to sit through a single one of his movie. It would have been good if I have a friend to watch them with me.

I remember watching the Dungeon siege movie and thinking that it sucked.

Then i remembered that dungeon siege itself sucked.

I like watching Boll movies cause you cant take them seriously. Alone in the dark wasnt that bad if you didnt go into it with any misconceptions and any high hopes, same can be said about any of the Boll movies.

Its the same old, fanboi vs producer, bs that occurs when there are people too attached to those bits and bytes.

Use the argument of if you loved the books, you might not like the movie, If you loved the movie, you might not like the game, and if you loved the game, you might not like the movie.

How many people have bitched about Harry potter for discontinuities? How many people complained about specific side characters and plots being missing from LOTR?

Ugh, he's just making excuses about why Postal failed epically like every other film he's made. Still a douchebag in my eyes.

The thing I hate a Uwe Boll is that his movies are subsidized through German taxpayers. The movies are terrible, the audience doesn't enjoy them, and Germany is left holding the bill.

Boll is a thief.

The Postal movie was fucking awesome. It can kick around most comedies that has been released lately. He dared to do those things that no one else does, like having children die in the movie.

One thing will I tell you about Uwe, if there ever is a dictator, he won't conform. But most of you will.

I try to avoid complaining about movies I don't watch, but one Seltzer-Friedberg movie was enough for me to get a pretty good picture of what they do, and likewise, one Boll movie was enough for me.

Now, people who were among his most rabid critics are saying that Postal is actually watchable.

I might rent it sometime.

I think that the reason he has been getting such a bum rap is that most of his movies have been adaptations of relatively-popular video games, and he didn't really try to stick to the games' plots, so he angered the fans of those games almost every time. I think now that he has stopped making video game movies, he may be able to fix his reputation.

Pseudonym2:
The thing I hate a Uwe Boll is that his movies are subsidized through German taxpayers. The movies are terrible, the audience doesn't enjoy them, and Germany is left holding the bill.

Boll is a thief.

I'm The_Oracle, and I approve the above message.

Never mind the fact that his movies could be graciously described as 'utter crap', the fact that he's basically stealing German money to fund these idiotic endeavors makes it even worse.

i think the german government might claim it as a tax deduction... I like em though ;)

Thank you Susan, for giving me a better look and understanding of one of the most hated moviemakers ever. Now I have a different view of him, thank you.

Let me qualify my dislike for Mr. Boll. I do not dislike him personally, nor am I adverse to 'stupid fun!' at the Box Office- I loved "Evolution" for example.

I dislike the fact he destroys perfectly good games with his ignorant and unappreciative interpretations. He produces slag, Razzy-bait, that not only drags down cinema but also Videogames as forms of art. He embodies and perpetuates the stereotype of Videogames as thick, shallow experiances. He is the enemy of anyone who has ever treasured lore, fluff, canon, fanon, or any literary backround of any sort of any game.

If he never makes a videogame movie again, i'll be happy and I and Mr. Boll can be bestest freinds.

TsunamiWombat:
Let me qualify my dislike for Mr. Boll. I do not dislike him personally, nor am I adverse to 'stupid fun!' at the Box Office- I loved "Evolution" for example.

I dislike the fact he destroys perfectly good games with his ignorant and unappreciative interpretations. He produces slag, Razzy-bait, that not only drags down cinema but also Videogames as forms of art. He embodies and perpetuates the stereotype of Videogames as thick, shallow experiances. He is the enemy of anyone who has ever treasured lore, fluff, canon, fanon, or any literary backround of any sort of any game.

If he never makes a videogame movie again, i'll be happy and I and Mr. Boll can be bestest freinds.

Name one unarguably good video game movie by any director, I dare you. Work with bad source material, get bad movie, simple as that.

ReepNeep:

TsunamiWombat:
Let me qualify my dislike for Mr. Boll. I do not dislike him personally, nor am I adverse to 'stupid fun!' at the Box Office- I loved "Evolution" for example.

I dislike the fact he destroys perfectly good games with his ignorant and unappreciative interpretations. He produces slag, Razzy-bait, that not only drags down cinema but also Videogames as forms of art. He embodies and perpetuates the stereotype of Videogames as thick, shallow experiances. He is the enemy of anyone who has ever treasured lore, fluff, canon, fanon, or any literary backround of any sort of any game.

If he never makes a videogame movie again, i'll be happy and I and Mr. Boll can be bestest freinds.

Name one unarguably good video game movie by any director, I dare you. Work with bad source material, get bad movie, simple as that.

Lets see how Max Payne does. I won't argue with you, Videogame + Movie = Fail, the problem is Uwe Boll insisted on making MOVIE AFTER MOVIE, when it was obvious they sucked, and kept buying up properties to do movies.

TsunamiWombat:
Let me qualify my dislike for Mr. Boll. I do not dislike him personally, nor am I adverse to 'stupid fun!' at the Box Office- I loved "Evolution" for example.

I dislike the fact he destroys perfectly good games with his ignorant and unappreciative interpretations. He produces slag, Razzy-bait, that not only drags down cinema but also Videogames as forms of art. He embodies and perpetuates the stereotype of Videogames as thick, shallow experiances. He is the enemy of anyone who has ever treasured lore, fluff, canon, fanon, or any literary backround of any sort of any game.

If he never makes a videogame movie again, i'll be happy and I and Mr. Boll can be bestest freinds.

I really want to say this. Because this is probably the closest I can get to saying how I feel about Uwe Boll (and to a lesser extent Michael Bay).

And as far as video game based movies, I'd have to say that I actually liked the Mario Brothers movie, and the original Mortal Kombat was awesome. Granted the Mario movie was a disappointing pile of crap, but it was still good in the sense that it took the concept and went in a slightly different direction. I can say the same thing about Double Dragon, actually, although the movie was more closely tied to the cartoon, I think, than the games themselves.

The problem with Uwe is as Wombat says, he disregards the details of the movie and just takes a few idea and concepts, then makes up the rest out of what he believes is popular at the time. I think.. what's the guy's name who did the Resident Evil movies? Richard Anderson? Or something.. the guy who wrote the plot in the first Resident Evil movie. Yeah, that sucked. The second was better, but I'm deviating from the topic.

I think Postal would have done better if he'd released it later, as he himself stated. And about Alone in the Dark... it wasn't the actress, it was the awful script you used and the fact that you can't direct anything properly. Don't blame the girl for your own shortcomings.

Ok, while I agree that the script of Alone in the Dark was complete drek, let's be clear on one thing - Tara Reid is a horrible actress, and she dragged that film down even further than it already was.

I actually think someone like Boll is needed, he creates diversity, he should just stay away from video game movies, or actually I would tolerate him making video game movies if he just picked some game which was bad even though it had potential.

Like Turning Point, TP is one of the worst games in the history of gaming, If Uwe took that game and made a decent WW2 movie, all power to him, cause there would be no angry fans, and no high expectations. At the very least people might say "it was better then the game"

I actually wanna see him make a hit, cause I'm kinda getting tired and bored with hearing of his failures, it's not even shocking anymore, like "OMG! that movie sucks the devils balls!" it's just "meh" or "as expected...".

How shocking wouldn't it be to hear or read "Uwe Boll smash hit, destroys the competition!", you would be like O_O!

I wanna be like O_O!

pick a shitty game, and make a better movie. Make me go O_O! (No...not in that way)

Loading, Ready, Run did an interview with Uwe that actually made me rethink my opinion of the guy a bit. It's remarkably cogent and he actually sounds like a calm, respectful person.

Sure, most of his movie are still pretty terrible, but he's not the devil incarnate. Like Susan said, even if Uwe made a decent movie, most people would still deride it. In some ways, I feel a little bad for the guy. I think people sometimes forget that other people wrote the scripts for his worst films. He still hand a hand in it to be sure, but it's not as if this garbage leaps fully-formed from his Hessian mind. As someone upthread said, he seems like a modern-day Ed Wood.

Susan Arendt:
Ok, while I agree that the script of Alone in the Dark was complete drek, let's be clear on one thing - Tara Reid is a horrible actress, and she dragged that film down even further than it already was.

Agreed. Tara Reid should be seen and not heard. And not seen. And certainly not allowed to attempt to act. That said, if I ever see another Uwe Boll movie, it will be by accident. Life's too short to play in the sewer.

EDIT: I should add in all fairness that I have no faith the man could recognize a good actor or a good script, or fail to trash either. Nothing personal against him, I just think that as his budgets increase, so does the level of ass inevitably sucked in an Uwe Boll movie.

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