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Zero Punctuation: S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky

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Creator of Zero Punctuation
Posts: 255
Joined: 8 Aug 2007

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky

This week Zero Punctuation goes in the zone to nuke S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky.

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Anonymous Source
Posts: 4
Joined: 23 Jun 2008

Mmmm, nothing like a warm cup of ZP to cheer up my day....

WHY HULLO THARR YOUNG ONES

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 828
Joined: 12 Aug 2008

Mmm, skullcake.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1579
Joined: 9 Jul 2008

Nice to see STALKER get the ZP treatment.

BANNED
Posts: 4378
Joined: 21 Aug 2008

Hooray!

I'm still stuck on the bit where there's that huge mutant and its "babies" :[

Paperboy
Posts: 30
Joined: 5 Nov 2007

I did wonder about this one, people go on about S.T.A.L.K.E.R 1 and say its great but I cant do the training mission first time, on easy and prompty gave up.

it sounds like S.T.A.L.K.E.R 2 is basically more of the same worth a miss IMO (well to me).

LOL crashes.

Does anyone else think its weird that they re-introduce the health meter and its considered a bad thing ?

Paperboy
Posts: 24
Joined: 7 May 2008

Boo for using Heineken. It's not even beer.

Epic ending though!

Beat Writer
Posts: 211
Joined: 25 Nov 2006

Everyone say "Aye!" for difficult games!

Paperboy
Posts: 35
Joined: 5 Dec 2007

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I actually laughed at the cheap lag+error joke.

Beat Writer
Posts: 210
Joined: 14 Aug 2008

"...and whistled for a baboon!"

Now I can't stop laughing.

Beat Writer
Posts: 166
Joined: 13 May 2008

Capo Taco:
Everyone say "Aye!" for difficult games!

Aye

Paperboy
Posts: 19
Joined: 14 May 2008

Ha yeah couldn't give a rat's ratted arse about the game but that shows how gosh darned much I appreciate a bit of Yahtzee

and this week it paid in spades! and baboons

Paperboy
Posts: 11
Joined: 27 Aug 2008

Classic. And true.

The first one was incredibly atmospheric and not too hard. This one is incredibly atmospheric and kills me within seconds. Boo.

Anonymous Source
Posts: 10
Joined: 22 Jul 2008

The end really got me laughing.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1065
Joined: 27 Aug 2008

Om Nom Nom! That's some goooooood munch!

Much better than last weeks and the crashing gag was pretty good.

]:D

Time Lord
Posts: 9984
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

Jenx:
I'm ashamed to admit it, but I actually laughed at the cheap lag+error joke.

I laughed out loud at that.

Back to the old days of stonkingly good reviews, now...you know what I'm going to say...going to say...going to say...going to say...going to say...going to say...back please.

Paperboy
Posts: 12
Joined: 31 Jul 2008

At the end, I thought I was gonna get the BSOD xD

Nice review :P

Paperboy
Posts: 35
Joined: 20 Feb 2008

The crash parts were ace. The first one actually had me reach for ctrl+alt+del
...and whistled for a baboon xD

Paperboy
Posts: 24
Joined: 27 Feb 2008

The error at the end of credits really crack me up

Anonymous Source
Posts: 10
Joined: 1 Oct 2008

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. S.U.C.K.S.

Anonymous Source
Posts: 4
Joined: 8 Oct 2008

why is brice posting ESS TEE AY ELL KAY EE ARR : clear sky?

Copy Clerk
Posts: 76
Joined: 27 Aug 2008

Eruanno:
"...and whistled for a baboon!"

Now I can't stop laughing.

Same here. It's one of those really obvious jokes to make, but if you do it right, it's still absolutely hilarious.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 758
Joined: 19 Jun 2008

Yeh, real life sucks. Yahtzee makes it suck less though.

On the Record
Posts: 5967
Joined: 7 Feb 2008

That was pretty good, I enjoyed this more than some of the other more rece

*Illegal Operation Performed*

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1579
Joined: 9 Jul 2008

I honestly thought my computer crashed at the ending, it took a quick fast forward to figure it out xD This made me laugh the hardest all week.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2049
Joined: 14 Oct 2008

A shame about clear sky, but there are some excellent mods which improve your accuracy, lowers the enemy's and makes them easier to kill. I loved the first game and was very disappionted by clear sky

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1173
Joined: 13 Nov 2007

That was the funniest one we've had in weeks. Kudos for mentioning how much real life sucks, which is why I prefer games that help me avoid it (and kudos to me for yet another poorly shoehorned-in jab at the current trend of "realistic" games that defines realism as making everything look incredibly ugly and boring).

Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 28 Aug 2008

Hmm I was hoping it'd be a bit more harsh. I was heartbroken when I played Clear Sky it basically took everything good from Shadow of Chernobyl and promised to make it better yet just before release date decided to scrap it, copy and paste parts from annoying RPG games and smear turd in one or two places overall I can't help but want to snap the CD in two if it weren't for the fact its STALKER and is still better than 90% of the FPS out there.

Paperboy
Posts: 11
Joined: 2 Apr 2008

I find it quite hard to find a decent reviewer to find tips on how much a game chugs spunk smoothies because it seems they're so picky that there's really no chance of impressing them. A game's either too piss easy to be worth the effort of picking up the controller or it's so punishingly difficult that you have to go crying to your mummy everytime your ammo runs out and you get cordially invited to eat an npc frag grenade. If it's too difficult, play it on easy mode. You're not going to get condemned to hell for all eternity because you find one game too difficult to grind your fingernails into the left mouse button for.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 63
Joined: 5 Sep 2008

As good as the game, and bug-free :d

*killed by friendly fire*

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 4636
Joined: 15 Jun 2008

Good review

Copy Clerk
Posts: 79
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

i didnt get the
"and whistled for a baboon" joke
maybe im internet deprived?
or was it just something random that yahtzee said after the "error"
I'm assuming its a reference though
he always makes references
or really funny metaphors

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2487
Joined: 29 Nov 2007

STALKER is based on an artsy Russian film about a mysterious zone that has a hidden room in it that fulfills a person's wishes. The whole thing is very philosophical and mostly involves 3 guys walking around Chernobyl's wasteland. The idea is that it's all a metaphor for Russia's collapsed attempt at being a super po-

GONZO!!!1!! GONZO BITCHES!!!! BAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!

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