Killing Husbands and Buying Condoms in Fable 2

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Killing Husbands and Buying Condoms in Fable 2

Forget the whole vanquishing evil thing - Fable 2 is just as fun when you're off the hero clock.

Read Full Article

Ah yes, thanks to Fable 2, I get to experience marriage at the age of 22

minus the Vegas trip and 3 months salary engagement rings

sorry about your lousy husband, so its either Homocide or Divorce, hard decision lol

Homocide every time. My favourite part in oblivion was stalking my victims, choosing a time and place and killing them. My excuse was that i was a vampire who worked for the dark brother hood and the rest of the game was shite.

If you've got a good imagination (and used to have fun playing with regular toys when young) you'll probably maximize the entertainment potential of every game. All you need are the right tools.

I've already spent hours playing games like The Sims, Fable, Medieval Total War 2, Oblivion (,and many others) by mixing the gameplay itself with an imaginary narrative and exhilarating dubbing, all fabricated by my twisted mind.

That's the slight freedom that many games make available, but not everyone makes good use of. Simulate conversations between your Sims, Battle Cries in Total War, or mundane tasks in both Fable and Oblivion. After all, you're playing and already role-playing, even if minimally; why not maximize it?

I'm just an ordinary average gal
I spoil my dog rotten
Because she's my pal
We're just ordinary average gals

We explore ordinary average haunts
with average beasties
and average taunts

We all go spelunking in spelunky caves
Kill a few bosses
Burn a few saves
We go home to average houses
with gifts in our arms
to placate frigid spouses

Ordinary Average Gal
Ordinary Average Gal
Ordinary Average Gal

(Sung to the tune of "Ordinary Average Guy" by Joe Walsh)

Hey--can't you supposedly orb in someone for co-op and have them kill your spouse, so you don't get the bad juju on your character of being a spouse-killer?

I thought I heard that somewhere.

Cheeze_Pavilion:
Hey--can't you supposedly orb in someone for co-op and have them kill your spouse, so you don't get the bad juju on your character of being a spouse-killer?

I thought I heard that somewhere.

yeah from when they showed it at the game show the guy playing as the co-op shot the mains husband, i dont know if you get any evil (maybe you do for associating) but it does seem to be the best way so far to get rid of a spouse and not lose cash or get evil points

Cheeze_Pavilion:
Hey--can't you supposedly orb in someone for co-op and have them kill your spouse, so you don't get the bad juju on your character of being a spouse-killer?

I thought I heard that somewhere.

Well, sure...but honestly, if that man's gonna be dead, I want the satisfaction of killing him myself.

I have no wish to be rude Susan, but there was so much 'I', Me' and 'Mine' in that review that I lost track of what the hell you were talking about ...

johnman:
Homocide every time. My favourite part in oblivion was stalking my victims, choosing a time and place and killing them. My excuse was that i was a vampire who worked for the dark brother hood and the rest of the game was shite.

The feeling of being free and being able to shoot arrows into the back of some random man's head brings a tear to my eye. Also brings some more gold out of my pocket to buy more arrows. Besides that. Hopefully I'll enjoy the freedom of killing my spouse, but possibly because of my bad shot the arrow my fly into the neighbor's window killing his wife. Oh what a lovely combination...Does that sound too sick or demented? :D

pierre61:
I have no wish to be rude Susan, but there was so much 'I', Me' and 'Mine' in that review that I lost track of what the hell you were talking about ...

maybe because it's an article on her experiences from the game so it's more identifiable to the reader and not just a rehashing of the synopsis and a score slapped on it, at least thats what I got from it.

Since it was about her own experience playing the game, it'd be a bit odd if the article was full of you, yours, and theirs. Actually, the review was posted on Tuesday; this is something completely different.

This is exactly why I like this game; you nailed it squarely. The you-but-not-you aspects of it, the freedom to not only bring your own values to the world of Albion (whatever they might be), but to occasionally step outside of them and, let's say, kill your husband when he doesn't give up the love...it's all very satisfying.

Also, I like woodcutting. Who knew.

Wait... am I reading this right? You can play as a woman hero this time??

Anyway, at least the alternate you is some what pleasant. Every time I played Fable 1 I was a dark scurge on the land. All that stood in my way were laid to waist, those that didnt not interest me any longer were killed with out a seconds hesitation. I'd rather make money than free the hookers, I'd rather be ultimatly powerful than let my very own sister live. Hopefully in Fable 2 (i've not actually played it or seen any ingame footage yet) theres more options to make yourself come off as evil, because all the expresions you got in the first game made you seem like an imature tit rather than the demon trapped in a mortals body that i so desperatly wanted to be.

I always appreciate a game that can put the role back into role-playing. I still can't get enough of Harvest Moon: ToT. And it's for the reason you mention, I can put a little of myself into my character, and live my fantasy-farmer life the way I WOULD live a fantasy-farming life. Minus a little realism... cause if there was realism, I would've had a hearty plate of fried chicken weeks ago.

Ungrateful little bastards.

Good to know that Fable 2 lives up to the expectations the first one couldn't live up to.

ImmortalItalian:

johnman:
Homocide every time. My favourite part in oblivion was stalking my victims, choosing a time and place and killing them. My excuse was that i was a vampire who worked for the dark brother hood and the rest of the game was shite.

The feeling of being free and being able to shoot arrows into the back of some random man's head brings a tear to my eye. Also brings some more gold out of my pocket to buy more arrows. Besides that. Hopefully I'll enjoy the freedom of killing my spouse, but possibly because of my bad shot the arrow my fly into the neighbor's window killing his wife. Oh what a lovely combination...Does that sound too sick or demented? :D

Hell no, the frist thing most people do in a rpg is see who they can get away with killing

ANTI-SANTA:
Wait... am I reading this right? You can play as a woman hero this time??

You can be a woman and get pregnant in Fable 2.

I guess doing the manly arm pump/heroic pose just isn't good enough anymore.

Me and a group of friends are all ganing up on one of my other firends which will ultimately lead to me slaying his whole family.....

Fable 2 will be awesome
And I get it toooday~ ! =DD

You know, if you don't mind the metagaming Susan, you could buy and move into a house with animal magnetism. It gives you huge boosts to attraction (which is especially good for me.) I get +39 from house bonuses + magnetism, but I get -33 from being so corrupt. +40? from clothing and 10 and 15 for hair and beard.(manly man) If that doesn't get your man in the sack, Point and Laugh at his flaccid status and shoot him in the face(as shooting him in the groin wouldn't seem to have much effect).

Really enjoyed the article, btw. I find the off-hero time most enjoyable as well. Being a corrupt property mogul that saves the world because all his buildings are in the world is just super fun. I also like spoiling my dog. (I don't in real life)

Rugged 13:

ANTI-SANTA:
Wait... am I reading this right? You can play as a woman hero this time??

You can be a woman and get pregnant in Fable 2.

I guess doing the manly arm pump/heroic pose just isn't good enough anymore.

Sorry for posting twice ina row but. PRGNANT?!?!?!?
wow.. this is awesome, I'm gonna have me a lady save file and get me knocked-up a few times =D

Placentipede:

Rugged 13:

ANTI-SANTA:
Wait... am I reading this right? You can play as a woman hero this time??

You can be a woman and get pregnant in Fable 2.

I guess doing the manly arm pump/heroic pose just isn't good enough anymore.

Sorry for posting twice ina row but. PRGNANT?!?!?!?
wow.. this is awesome, I'm gonna have me a lady save file and get me knocked-up a few times =D

Forgive me for being dumb, but I think you can only have one save file? It never asks me to choose a save file. I've only made one character and haven't beaten the game and I don't want to try because I'm already about halfway at the main story but so far along in my life, property-wise, xp, and my darling wife and kid(who is just a great trooper for being so loving when I come home instead of nagging me like my loving wife)

SaintWaldo:
I'm just an ordinary average gal
I spoil my dog rotten
Because she's my pal
We're just ordinary average gals

We explore ordinary average haunts
with average beasties
and average taunts

We all go spelunking in spelunky caves
Kill a few bosses
Burn a few saves
We go home to average houses
with gifts in our arms
to placate frigid spouses

Ordinary Average Gal
Ordinary Average Gal
Ordinary Average Gal

(Sung to the tune of "Ordinary Average Guy" by Joe Walsh)

I would counter with...

I'm just a regular joe
With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on my table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

EVERYBODY! :)

Susan Arendt recently tried shooting a crossbow in real life, and didn't just miss the target, but the hay bale it was pinned to, too. She would make a lousy adventurer.

I actually found it harder to shoot a crossbow then I did a regular bow. Dunno why that is, maybe because it's a more natural movement, more feel on the thing.

On the article: you guys are really making me want to play this game. Can't wait till my housemate comes home with it later today.

waffletaco:
You know, if you don't mind the metagaming Susan, you could buy and move into a house with animal magnetism. It gives you huge boosts to attraction (which is especially good for me.) I get +39 from house bonuses + magnetism, but I get -33 from being so corrupt. +40? from clothing and 10 and 15 for hair and beard.(manly man) If that doesn't get your man in the sack, Point and Laugh at his flaccid status and shoot him in the face(as shooting him in the groin wouldn't seem to have much effect).

Really enjoyed the article, btw. I find the off-hero time most enjoyable as well. Being a corrupt property mogul that saves the world because all his buildings are in the world is just super fun. I also like spoiling my dog. (I don't in real life)

Not only am I already in a house that gives me the Animal Magnetism boost, but I'm so attractive that I have a dozen people following me as soon as I set foot in town, all begging to do the nasty with me. Hubby just doesn't fancy me, I guess. Sigh.

And as has already been mentioned, this is not a review of the game, this is an account of my personal experience with it, which necessitates the use of at lot of "I" "me" and "mine."

Yes, you can be female, and you can get pregnant, though, thanks to my lackluster husband, I've yet to do.

Oh, and I really enjoy the woodcutting, too, for some bizarre reason. I think it's the "thunk" of the axe in the wood. Really quite soothing.

So wait, if I made a female character, she could get pregnant? How in the...how do you fight with a child inside of you?! I don't think doctors would approve

too bad you can't go jolie and just adopt a kid...or two..or ten

I had originally planned on starting out good and going evil after some big dramatic plot point, coming home, sacrificing the wife, and leaving the kid to avenge her. A very nice villain origin story, y'know?

But I come back from the tower only to discover that the Temple of Shadow "donation" quest doesn't exist anymore, probably because I thwarted their attempts to attack the Temple of Light. Booo. I wish there were a "Revive the Temple of Shadow" quest so I can also have a hand in rebuilding the cult.

I'm going to enjoy Fable 2 so much when I get it on that glorious yet sadly distant "someday". From what I hear it's got the immersion quality of Morrowind with the pretty graphics of any Lionhead game and that automatically makes it a must have. I loved this article. It was a rather charming recanting of your "matrimonial" plight if in I do say so myself.

Just be careful. In Japan they'll arrest you for this kind of stuff.

HalfShadow:
Just be careful. In Japan they'll arrest you for this kind of stuff.

Big difference here. Susan's husband is a bunch of pixels controlled by the game. The story you referenced is about some one, more or less, hacking into some one else's account in a game and deleting it. The woman wasn't arrested for murder, but for illegally accessing and changing files on a computer she didn't own.

I may plunk down the money for Fable II in the near future, I have some other stuff to get to right now.

Susan Arendt:
Yes, you can be female, and you can get pregnant, though, thanks to my lackluster husband, I've yet to do.

Oh, and I really enjoy the woodcutting, too, for some bizarre reason. I think it's the "thunk" of the axe in the wood. Really quite soothing.

Y'know... I think I may have found the reason he's not quite willing to bring out the ol' babymaker....

;)

I started off trying to become ultimate evil, you know, to see if you actually can become the weird devil thing to the right-------->
I chose all the evil decisions a child, broke up the crates, gave the warant papers to the villan. When i'd grown up, I went back to bowerstone, and it had become a slum. Perfect I thought, Now to start my reign of terror. I accepted an assasination mission, some old gypsy woman, tracked her down and killed her.

But then, as i was leaving I was attacked by the villagers, woman and children would flee before me, and you know what, it wasn't as satisfying as i'd thought. I was heart broken, the people hated me.

I think this is a great game, not because it's an epic story, (which it is)but because I care what the people think of me. You can become really conected to the world of albion.

The Rogue Wolf:

Susan Arendt:
Yes, you can be female, and you can get pregnant, though, thanks to my lackluster husband, I've yet to do.

Oh, and I really enjoy the woodcutting, too, for some bizarre reason. I think it's the "thunk" of the axe in the wood. Really quite soothing.

Y'know... I think I may have found the reason he's not quite willing to bring out the ol' babymaker....

;)

Funny you should mention it...

I finally got the guy to come across, but only after I put on men's clothes. Make of that what you will.

Susan Arendt:

The Rogue Wolf:

Susan Arendt:
Yes, you can be female, and you can get pregnant, though, thanks to my lackluster husband, I've yet to do.

Oh, and I really enjoy the woodcutting, too, for some bizarre reason. I think it's the "thunk" of the axe in the wood. Really quite soothing.

Y'know... I think I may have found the reason he's not quite willing to bring out the ol' babymaker....

;)

Funny you should mention it...

I finally got the guy to come across, but only after I put on men's clothes. Make of that what you will.

Bigamy would seem to get around this little problem of yours...

Is it possible to get a Groucho Marx mask, for any reason?

Pretty sure you have a gay (digital) husband, Susan. It all kind of adds up

shhhh...
you're supost to be subtle!

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here