Zero Punctuation: Fable 2

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Great as ever! Still waiting in hope of a pc release however; sucker for a franchise I still play wow for Christ sakes (I know I should be banned from these forums!).

I am looking forward to a Fallout 3 review by you, but take that with salt my friend. I'm playing through it at the moment and enjoying the experience tremendously so it worries me greatly what you might point out with your perception; ultimately destroying the game for me when the "Problems" you list manifest to the fore point of my sub conscious. You're always a bastard when it comes to that haha.

Keep up the awesome work Yahtzee you haven't lost any of your old school youtube charm! Oh, and I loved MGS4 too!

-USER BANNED!-

Edit: Small error.

I actually like Fable II, still a hilarious review though! Hoping Far cry 2 or Fallout 3 are coming up soon!
I always wanted to shoot the kids though :P

lol this was quite hilarious xD
Take that anyone who says Yahtzee is getting any less funny

I laughed so hard at that last sentence... :DDD

Can it be Mirrors Edge time now?

After seeing the screen shots and the trailers, after finding out that you can't die in this game and thus are not meant to be challenged in any way, I was amazed at all the glowing reviews. I'm not the only one with eyes, right? Thanks for pointing out what Fable 2 really is. Now let's see if the same can be done for Oblivion With Guns, which was released recently.

Aww I was really hoping you'd do Sega Superstars Tennis. :(

Nice review, Yahtzee. Really enjoyed the part about killing the kid.

Good review, laughed at the end.

Keep up the good work

You know, I'm a little disappointed. Why would you want to get married? Why, for the little gem of a side-quest that allows you to dig up the various pieces of a corpse of a woman murdered for being a witch, bring her back to life so that a rapist can force her to fall in love with him, force her to fall in love with you instead, kill the rapist, marry the corpse-witch, and proceed to fuck the brains right back out of her.

And get no 'evil points' or whatever the hell they're called.

Yes, the rest of the game was pretty stunningly mediocre, but how often do you come across a good corpse-fucking side-quest in gaming today?

The ads are back? But...but we were doing so well!

"No, bad yahtzee! Life simulator, adjust expectations!"
"We'll call him 'chips.'"

Excellent as usual. ^^

On a side note, I've noticed that Yahtzee has yet to review a Real-time Strategy game. Perhaps Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 or Starcraft 2?

Yeah, they should have explain part way through the game that the dog was a magically enchanted princess who at the end of the game halfway transforms into a nude princess and gives you graphical head. That would have been much more rewarding.

If you want to see Yahtzee's Fallout 3 review, watch the Oblivion review and replace Oblivion with Fallout 3 and swords and magic with guns.

Seriously.

BlueInkAlchemist:

Neosage:

You trust this guy's reviews?

Yes, I do.

Neosage:

He may say bad stuff about games and on some occasion they might be right but he over exaggerates stuff to the point of hilarity and says everything is bad! (except some good games and one bad one (COD 4))

How is his over-exaggeration of the legitimate problems with games any more or less valid than the over-exaggeration made by folks at GameSpot or IGN? I'm more inclined to believe someone willing to fly in the face of fanboy fanaticism to point out the flaws in a game over bunches of samey glossy corporate bloggers saying something is the "BEST GAME EVAAAR."

And it's only on a few occasions where he universally declares a game to be bad. Clive Barker's Jericho and Too Human spring to mind. Compare those reviews to BioShock, Assassin's Creed, Crysis and numerous others in which he balances the obvious points of praise with the brutal and well-deserved tongue-lashings for which he has become famous.

Finally, if you believe you can make a more valid review, YouTube's free.

Yahtzee is hilarious but, I FEEL that he his reviews are for entertainment purposes only, don't get me wrong I love them, but I don't really buy games based on other peoples opinions.....infact I made a poll on it!

MagnetoHydroDynamics:
I laughed so hard at that last sentence... :DDD

Can it be Mirrors Edge time now?

Dream on. He's now obliged to do LittleBigPlanet.

Was it me, or was he particularly angry and cynical in this review? Either way, this is now one of my favorite reviews that he's done.

If he does Far Cry 2 at any point, it's gonna get absolutely slated.

Can't wait.

Ah,

Kross:

MURPHYCHACHO:
I keep getting a 404 error as well. Is there something wrong with the website?

Sorry, we ran into some caching issues for a bit. But I leveraged the power of the megaramz to make everything faster then ever and at almost a third of the load.

Ah, I see. Works fine now. Thanks!

And Yahtzee, because of you, I will now be naming my dog Chips when I get this game.

Skyweir:

One of the best RPG franchices ever + One of the most horrendous developers of something
they have the nerve to call RPGs = Not good.

Lame... Daggerfall and Morrowind ruled with an iron fist and there's just no denying that.

HAHAHA... all of my friends spent a god awfully long time playing the blacksmith job. And hated it. And wiched they could kill kids. But I don't think anyone expressed their desire to marry a dog. "Wook its a doggie smoosh his face and call him chips!"

Oh I've been waiting for this review, the ending made me lol. I'm a huge Fable freak and where I'll say the story was better in this one (at least if you look at it from my point of view that Theresa knew your sister was gonna die and let it happen so you'd want revenge and she could wait for the bad guy to build his big evil tree and take it once you've killed him with no effort on her part) it still felt secondary to the game mechanics. That of course hasn't stopped me from making five different characters and beating the game twice already, the clothing dyes going a long way to helping make unique looking characters. And your decisions at least have SOME effect on the world this time around what with entire towns expanding or getting completely fucked up based on whether you remember to do the Temple of Light quests or pay a guy some start up capitol.

I was wondering how the dog was still alive or at least spry enough to run all over the damn world with you after the first 10 year time lapse. Not to mention I was already sick of the dog during all the demos and game press and resent the fact your guy still greets it warmly after coming back from the big evil tree dungeon no matter how ungodly evil he is.

Dammit, I was hoping this week it would be that piece of consolite **** FPS, Fallout 3.

That was my exact thought when my friend told me that you couldn't beat your kids in the game.

yes, yes, YES... YEEEEEEEEEES! So dang true. Exactly my thoughs; its the same frigging thing as the firts one. They just used it as a huge money cow. Thats the only purpose of the game; make a big frigging lot of nice green paper towel.

The freaking papy really need to be more ambisious.

the dog as a companion is a good idea, i don't think enought to buy the game. xplay gave it a 5 of 5, other sources say the same. mixed reviews.

I love most of Yahtzee's reviews, but I didn't find this one funny at all. Fable 2 is a great game, and I expected Yahtzee to be intelligent enough to enjoy it instead of dismissing it like most ADD gamers. Just sounded like Yahtzee had a bad day and picked a target to me.

That... was awesome.

It's good to see Yahtzee back on form again.

He's going to be sooooo backlogged this winter, though...

Fallout 3, Mirror's Edge, Little Big Planet, Gears 2, Far Cry 2, etc...

"Aw, lookit the little doggie! You can smash his face in and call him Chips!" XP

Awesome review as always, can't wait for the next one.

I had heard such great things about Fable 2, it was on my list of "Games that might actually get my poor ass to buy an xbox" but maybe I should reconsider. Of course there's Always Ace Combat 6

I didn't play Fable 2 but I've watched a friend play some of it... and I will say that despite whatever flaws you find there is one mitigating factor. The humor. I saw my friend go into the Temple of Evil or whatever, to get initiated into their cult. As part of the initiation right, they give you a baby chick to eat alive and whole. When you do this, the guy at the front goes, "Oh my god! I can't believe you did that! That's disgusting, what is wrong with you?"

Then when you get inside another member gives out the mission statement, ending it with, "And Fridays are poker night."

Brilliant! That "'muggie wuggie face and call him chips'" disarmed me :D

Actually Fallout 3 is pretty good in terms of how they created the wasteland etc.

Still it's one of the worst written games I've ever played.

To paraphrase something somebody wrote on No Mutants Allowed:

Fallout 3 Dialog

NPC: Whooo, what do you think of my dialog?

[Intelligence] Dialog is what we use to communicate.
[Perception] Are you saying dialog is what we use to communicate?
-You're dialog is good.
-Die!

I'm not even gonna mention fuck ups such as Lamplight,Tenpenny Ghoul Quest or Power of the Atom.

I really hope people won't be taking this review too seriously.

I'm a big fan of ZP, and Yahtzee's work outside of the Escapist - particularly the John DeFoe games - but I can still clearly see that this was nothing but a rant, not a review.

Yahtzee usually provides something to agree with, something that isn't just nitpicking, but this was fairly pathetic, to the point where I found myself slightly angered.

I understand the need to entertain, but it seems that with this, and the previous few reviews, Yahtzee is starting to sacrifice his integrity as a reviewer, for the sake of humour.

If you want to beat up children, you shouldn't be looking for it on video games - I was under the impression that it was common knowledge that violence against children was a big no-no in the gaming industry, yet Yahtzee seems unaware of this, as he's gone ahead and complained about it.

I also find this rather contradictory - recently in an article for news.com.au Yahtzee wrote about the censorship of Silent Hill. In this article, he wrote that anyone who claimed that violence was essential to the gaming experience was A) More or less wrong and B) Slightly psychopathic. Yet here he is, complaining that being unable to hit children somehow damages his enjoyment.

This video was as funny as usual, but lacked credibility; please don't do what most Yahtzee fans do, and take this as divine gospel - do not let this rant sway your opinion of Fable 2.

Then again, I personally love Fable 2, and worship it as a beacon of hope in the gaming industry, so perhaps I'm heavily biased myself.

EDIT; To clarify - As a rant, this was hilarious. As a review...pretty damn poor.

Also, the issue with violence against children in games is interactivity. You're allowed to watch a child get shot, but you are not allowed to shoot a child yourself. There is a difference, there; watching a child be shot is one thing, wanting to and trying to shoot a child yourself is, well, pushing the limit of acceptible content.

After I felt extremely lukewarm about last weeks review, you have once again proved that given the right mindset, you are capable of bringing great joy into my life...now why you would want to boggles my fragile mind so I will proceed to play with my dogs face, but I will, instead, call him Bullet.

But did you read the amount of comments that said "Yay! No More Adverts!" from about three weeks ago?

And then we have some at the start and at the end for something that quite a lot of us wouldn't want to, or can'

Really, that advert is only there while your vid loads (I think, if not it's two seconds), and the end one does not have to be watched. Really, I don't care that those adverts are back here. The intro, that could go die.

Qayin:

If you want to beat up children, you shouldn't be looking for it on video games - I was under the impression that it was common knowledge that violence against children was a big no-no in the gaming industry, yet Yahtzee seems unaware of this, as he's gone ahead and complained about it.

You do realize that someone else in the game killed children, right? Why shouldn't you be able to do that as well? That's a double standard, and one standard will do us just fine, sir.

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