Zero Punctuation: Fable 2

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Tietsu:

You do realize that someone else in the game killed children, right? Why shouldn't you be able to do that as well? That's a double standard, and one standard will do us just fine, sir.

See above, issue is interactivity, not the content itself.

Hell, Pulp Fiction had a child being shot, but wanting to and actually shooting a child in the head yourself, is really pushing the limits.

You wouldn't want child-rape in your games, you shouldn't absolutely need to put a bullet in their head, or cut them up, either.

Brilliant episode this week, your best in a while I think.

i ultimately didnt want to get fable, and i probably wont now. the dog sounds like it will be annoying, a lot of stuff sounds pretty pointless, and apparently its the same as the first game. also you cant kill kids, but you can kill adults. i would like to be able to kill them, not because im a psychotic who fucking hates kids, but also i think that it makes the game inconsistent with itself. and because a lot of games do this, like fallout. and what difference does it make? will they look psychotic when you can kill children? oh but apparently killing adults is perfectly ok. back on track i would love to do something in the game where i can imitate something, like a world with only adults so i can imitate children of men NO! dont take me back ill be good! please put away the big needle and funny jacket! i meant to say i wish i could kill pretty much everyone and destroy the buildings like in mercenaries and imitate the apocalypse but apparently we cant do that because thats also psychotic, or maybe because theres "not enough processing power" well mercs did it why cant you?

Honestly, I normally tend to more or less agree with Yahtzee but write a sort of "yeah but" as a response. This week I really can't. He's 100% spot on. I got Fable 2, it was fun for a little while, I beat the story right as it was getting really tedius, and then traded it in towards Dead Space while it was still worth something.

At any rate the only real points Yahtzee misses that I can see are:

#1: He didn't make any comments about re-animating the corpse of Lady Gray from the first game and then having the choice to Marry her. I mean come on Yahtzee, I expected at least one comment about this.

#2: He forgets to mention that there is stuff to do in the game after you beat the game. HOWEVER, there is one important catch. At the end you get three choices that basically coorespond to good, neutral, or evil. If you don't choose neutral you don't have the dog (which Yahtzee pointed out is a furry metal detector) which makes hunting down a good bit of the potentially remaining treasure in the game pointless.

So basically if you went good (like me) you pretty much screwed yourself.

Oh yes, and of course Yahtzee also missed the oppertunity to comment on the fact that the greatest treasure you can unlock for beating the game is (dum dum dee dum) a potion of gender reversal.

In case your wondering if your like a dude and then come home to your re-animated bride of frankenstein wife and explain you really want to try the lesbian thing, they barely even seem to notice. :)

That said, Yahtzee did a good job but had enough material to extend this a good minute and it was kind of annoying to see his glaring omissions. I wanted to see some well articulated bile on these points.

We need a "Zero Punctuation: Director's Cut" for this week.... or would that be "Zero Puntuation: The Lost Chapters"

>>>----Therumancer--->

Qayin:

Hell, Pulp Fiction had a child being shot, but wanting to and actually shooting a child in the head yourself, is really pushing the limits.

Actually, I'm pretty sure that it doesn't. Granted it's been a while since I have seen the movie, but I don't think that ever happened. What part are you thinking of?

Mstrswrd:
Was it me, or was he particularly angry and cynical in this review? Either way, this is now one of mfavorite revies he's that he's done.

Yeah, I noticed that too. Between getting head from the vacuum cleaner, the comment about none of the women being willing to show their tits while having sex, and the blacksmith having to buy the house for his "cunt wife", I'm wondering what type of women he's been hanging around and if that has anything to do with this review?

All in all, hilarious review. I laughed pretty hard.

Less Than Glorious:
You know, I'm a little disappointed. Why would you want to get married? Why, for the little gem of a side-quest that allows you to dig up the various pieces of a corpse of a woman murdered for being a witch, bring her back to life so that a rapist can force her to fall in love with him, force her to fall in love with you instead, kill the rapist, marry the corpse-witch, and proceed to fuck the brains right back out of her.

And get no 'evil points' or whatever the hell they're called.

Yes, the rest of the game was pretty stunningly mediocre, but how often do you come across a good corpse-fucking side-quest in gaming today?

Oh. Well in that case, it TOTALLY makes sense.

Seriously, please tell me you're kidding. Have the game writers/designers been reading too many bad Anita Blake novels or something?

Great review as always, I watched the ending 5 times and I'm still laughing out loud, can't wait to show my brother. Finally a truthful Fable 2 review ;)

Awesome. I did do some donuts on memory lane this week, although I didn't know Yahtzee did the Darkness before Fable. Anyway, fantastic way to destroy a game that's been getting way too much praise. (much like every videogame these days)

A great review Yahtzee, Wednesdays are always good days. I find it quite funny that people pressing refresh on the website waiting for your review creates such problems. Why can't people simply wait a few minutes before trying.

m_jim:
[quote="Qayin" post="6.76789.919764"]
Actually, I'm pretty sure that it doesn't. Granted it's been a while since I have seen the movie, but I don't think that ever happened. What part are you thinking of?

I'm probably thinking of a different film, but I was sure at one point a child was accidentally shot...

No, I think I'm thinking of a different film, sorry.

the farkinator:
Awesome. I did do some donuts on memory lane this week, although I didn't know Yahtzee did the Darkness before Fable.

You should watch the Darkness review, where do you think the imp comes from?

Qayin:
I really hope people won't be taking this review too seriously.

I feel the same. I found myself withdrawn from the humour in the review as I was wondering why it was so unnecessarily harsh. It is a good game, simplistic, but accessible, witty and fun. I think it's one of the more polished games I've seen with so little frustration it helps gloss over it's short-comings.

Hilarious as always

looking forward to the review for Left for Dead

neoman10:
Aww and I liked fable2

The way I see it is this: Yahtzee is my hero, but I still like Fable 2 and Halo 3. That's because it's his opinion. You don't have to guide your life by his ideals. He has his opinion and you have yours.

I love you

You should review your sponsor...

and Gears of War 2...

Dakaan:
Cant wait to play this game!

khewit:
been waiting for u to do fable2!

Cloudizme:
Been looking forward to this review.

Hilarious as always.

Banok:
I wanted him to do far cry 2 :(

I feel the absurd, and completely pointless need to inform each and every one of you that you replied to this video, according to the on-forum times of posts, in less time than it takes for the video itself to elapse. I dunno, call me out of my mind if you must, but don't you feel any shame in blatantly pandering to the lowest of base instincts, or metaphorically jumping up and down on this review's conference room table yelling "FIRSTS!"?

Honestly, it's tiresome to say the least, and irritating as hell to be more elaborate.

Grifmik:

The_root_of_all_evil:
Ok...

Mr. Escapist.

You know that the forums lag out totally when this arrives? We can deal with that.

But did you read the amount of comments that said "Yay! No More Adverts!" from about three weeks ago?

And then we have some at the start and at the end for something that quite a lot of us wouldn't want to, or can't play?

I'll be very amused to see Yahtzee's take on Bongo-Kaflooie at a later date.

As for the review (and the poor intro) it does seem like Yahtzee and Molyneux have a sort of a Brokeback Mountain thing going on there.

Secret notes after the review...lots of pictures of him with an open mouth talking to Yahtzee?

Methinks someone needs to examine their feelings.

(That and I think you'll get a lot of Escapist hatemail for dissing the dog.)

Who cares if your forums are lagging for 10 minutes or so? Plus the advert at the start was like 2 seconds long and the one at the end you don't have to watch ATALL you know?. Somtimes i think people complain just for the hell of it..

Actually, he's probably complaining because a service that users have a reasonable expectation to function is failing. I don't think he's right in doing so, personally, but he's correct in saying it shouldn't go down, regardless of how, when, or why.

Jman1236:
Yahtzee you are the bomb! The part about how you can't kill your kid, had me laughing my ass off! I think Fable 2 is byfar better than Fable 1, and I planning on playing through a second time as a female evil character rather than a male good character. Plus we should get some sweet downloadable content updates in the future.

Also I think the combat system this time around kicks ass, I like how you can slow time, then summon undead minons then roll to the side and take out your enemies with ranged attacks.

Were you even paying attention?

Gerscan:
Figured now was as good a time as any to make an account here and make posts that will most likely not even get read since they aren't on the first page. ANYWAY, taping the magic button down wouldn't really work since you need to release the button to cast the spell and if you fell asleep doing that you'd wake up to find you had quite a lot of scars, which no one cares about. Other than that, spot-on review, I'm now drowning in money that I have nothing to use on so I'm just waiting for downloadable content, which there had better be some of because that was a pretty abrupt ending, I thought.

Game mechanics' errors are allowed in favor of most jokes. Personally, the "mono-button gameplay" thing does make "tape button down" joke at least partially funny. If that's your kind of thing, at least.

Pepperlander:
guys. if you like the game, don't listen to yahtzee and stop liking it. thank you for listening and goodbye

Since posts like "QFT" are disallowed, I must say, good freakin' show. Quoted for the truth of it all.

ShadowFlex:
-USER BANNED!-

This isn't 4chan, please don't fill the boards with stuff like this. Makes things awfully untidy.

Indigo_Dingo:

MagnetoHydroDynamics:
I laughed so hard at that last sentence... :DDD

Can it be Mirrors Edge time now?

Dream on. He's now obliged to do LittleBigPlanet.

Fall-out 3, Mirror's Edge, LittleBigPlanet... There are so many games to list, it's pointless to figure out which he'll do next. Just let it run its course...

Qayin:
I understand the need to entertain, but it seems that with this, and the previous few reviews, Yahtzee is starting to sacrifice his integrity as a reviewer, for the sake of humour.

I'm naturally inclined to disagree here, Qayin. Mostly becaues Yahtzee has always made a lot of reviewing concessions in order to force humor into his "reviews." While I'll agree that it has been more common recently, it's always been a factor.

Yahtzee's reviews lost integrity when they became primarily for entertainment and secondarily about reviewing the game. Humor is acceptable in a review, sure, but humor as a review has already compromised itself.

Also, I do agree that Yahtzee's gotten a bit too gung-ho humor, and not nearly enough "in-game review." Rewatching his Force Unleashed "review" is proof enough of that.

Qayin:

Tietsu:

You do realize that someone else in the game killed children, right? Why shouldn't you be able to do that as well? That's a double standard, and one standard will do us just fine, sir.

See above, issue is interactivity, not the content itself.

Hell, Pulp Fiction had a child being shot, but wanting to and actually shooting a child in the head yourself, is really pushing the limits.

You wouldn't want child-rape in your games, you shouldn't absolutely need to put a bullet in their head, or cut them up, either.

Also, note that games like Fallout and GTA have always allowed the user to kill children. Except, most notably, in Fallout 3... Are we seeing a trend?

Coolspeedzero:
Hilarious as always

looking forward to the review for Left for Dead

This again? Let him pick whatever game he wants...

-------

Stand Alone Post

Here's the thing about Yahtzee's reviews as of late. They've been primarily lacking in the... oh, what's the word? Oh yes. Review. They've been primarily lacking in the review department as of late.

I'm not sure if its the obscene need to force just about any flavor of humor into a video regardless of whether or not it will fit, or if that making a strong, structured review is something that isn't terribly necessary for this, but it does seem like there was a point where Yahtzee had found a good middle-ground between humor and in-game commentary, but the quality of these "reviews" waivers more than a drunk at a sudden field sobriety test.

Ultimately, it boils down to the humor seems forced, the review content isn't very content-rich, and I'm somewhat tired of wondering whether or not it'll get better. I'm beginning to wonder whether or not watching the next review will be worth the effort.

Doubtedly, but I'll probably watch it anyway... I'm such a dunce.

You wouldn't want child-rape in your games, you shouldn't absolutely need to put a bullet in their head, or cut them up, either.

If you get raped as a child you should be able to.

well i know what im not buying this wenedsay

SpaceIdiot:
Though at least in Fable your character can get a girl. In fallout 3 I wasn't able to get a single NPC to swing that way, let along get my character laid. The Mass Effect Character was able to and he/she didn't have to put up with half the sh*t that Fallout 3 has in store for you.

Well, if there is one thing I can agree with Yahtzee, it's his line about love interests in the Silent Hill Review. For what reason do you need some shallow and bland romance subplot that has no connection to the actual game whatsoever and will never be mentioned again after you have comquered your love interest?

I have never, ever seen a game (except the obvious Dating Sims of course) pulling this off - even in the old school (i.e.: still good) RPGs - without wondering whether this was shoehorned into the game at the last second per order of the invisible pigeon holding council because games are forced by law to have a romance sidequest or if it's just a programmers chore between "mandantory sewer level" and "arbitrary fetch quest #928372"

BTW: I actually liked Fallout 3. It may forever be trapped in Limbo between the heaven of Fallout 1 + 2 and the hell of Brotherhood of Steel and Tactics but hey. If it wasn't for the buckets full of bugs, the insultingly short main quest, the insultingly stupid end and of course Bethesda's inability to write good dialog if their lifes would depend on it - it would actually be the best game I saw this year so far.

Richard Groovy Pants:
The mighty Peter contacted you? Talk about insecurity huh?

It's like he's already admitting defeat by doing so.

NewClassic:

I'm not sure if its the obscene need to force just about any flavor of humor into a video regardless of whether or not it will fit, or if that making a strong, structured review is something that isn't terribly necessary for this, but it does seem like there was a point where Yahtzee had found a good middle-ground between humor and in-game commentary, but the quality of these "reviews" waivers more than a drunk at a sudden field sobriety test.

Ultimately, it boils down to the humor seems forced, the review content isn't very content-rich, and I'm somewhat tired of wondering whether or not it'll get better. I'm beginning to wonder whether or not watching the next review will be worth the effort.

Good thing humor is such a subjective thing, isn't it. I'm always amazed (well, always is the wrong word. As is amazed ... at least in a positive fashion ...) about the completely redundant posts about this (which is: every) video being the best, worst, better/worse that the last one and of course finally back to his roots but the old ones, which sucked, were way better.

I simply take the videos as what they are: pure comedy. Sometimes better, sometimes worse. Besides, Jesus never defined what a video game review should look like ("Thou shalt have a score up to ten and ten shalt be thy highest number") and I consider reviews as pure opinions from people I don't know and thus don't care about anyway. There are enough serious reviews out there, even on this very site. As are demented YouTube comedians and webcomic "artists" trying to ride the gamer stereotype wave into oblivion. No need to shoehorn more of either into this.

I could not agree more. Sums up my feelings on Fable 2 perfectly.

Hello Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, I havent posted on here before but first off, hats off to you (no pun intended) i enjoy and wait eagerly on ur videos each week they amuse me very much, my brother first put me on to them, to my much enjoyment. Well anywho, just wanted to commend u on a super job ur little 3-5 mins of pure enjoyment fill my little hole that we call a soul full of pleasure, i walk blissfully unaware after watching them, better than watchin six hours of coloful tv with fluffy bunnies. Back to gaming but (this sounds like a love letter now so i'll stop)... i'm a moderate gamer and u kinda have an influence over me (by the power of grey skull dam u lol) but i got gears of war there, 2 days of pure enjoyment, when me and the bro were playin online, and when it got to the cut scenes we made up are dialouge as u doo!! (bit were dom, find's his girl in the drill bit from a bosch drill.... she totally turned into a koren,... well we thought it was funny.... (south park accents in tow lol) probably have to be there lol... so please give gears of war a gooden... or rip it still be funny.. havent really got a point just that i've game's in my little mind that i want hopefully get them before i see a review from u, no offence, its wat u do.... cant wait for prince of persia ... they all kept me up for days.... think school went out the window them days lol... also tomb raider is lookin shockin... fun wise prob done in about 4 hours but still good like... well thats it!!!! gggdddaaay!

"Why can't I marry my dog?" about made me choke.

Honestly, I wondering the whole god damn time how that dog was still alive, I mean shit, my dog is 16 and can barely hear and had some walking problems for a while. Then the other weird thing... is that if you have a child before you go to the spire (where the child is born the next day after you have sex), when you come out of the spire after 10 years, your kid is 9 years old. This game has no concept of time.

Huzzah! The adverts are back!

Firstly NewClassic,
Please refrain from talking about a single point of my post, unless you wish to discuss it as a whole. Also if you want to discuss something I post with me please keep the subject matter in hand as "-USER BANNED-" Was only an off topic joke and was not intended to be taken seriously or by any means offend your eyes.

Secondly,
Stop acting as if you're a forum moderator, you have no jurisdiction over what is posted on these boards and I find your "holier-than-though" Attitude grating.

Thirdly, (and by far not least)
Classing me along side the 4channers for using one line of caps from what was a fully coherent post, are you serious? Well you posted on my comment so that must make you a...-Chooses from random selection- Oh a Nazi!

Well sorry to Yahtzee for going completely off-topic, but some people just get the worst of you sometimes, ya-know?

I was also excited at a potential 7 minute long edition of Zero Punctuation, only to find those god-damn adverts are back! :(

Great review non the less dude!

i thought the game was really good but as yahtzee said it himself he does have unreasonable standards regardless that was a funny video

After seeing SR2 last week, I figured this would be next...and I'm glad I was right

But my god that's a scarey PM head. Makes excellent comic sence, but still scarey =S
And Yahtzee seemed to be in sarcasm overdrive this week...Like it XD

That was...what's the phrase I'm looking for?

Public Flogging? No, not quite.
Savage Beating? Closer, but that implies Molyneux lived.
Ahh yes, I've got it...

A ruthless, Chaotic Evil, teabag the corpse Counter-strike style BOOM HEADSHOT total fucking massacre of Peter Molyneux's fragile sense of self-worth. That's it. And I laughed my gods-damned ass off.

I beat this game in 2 days, way before this review and had exactly the same thoughts. Fucking hilarious though, I wanted to kill my children but unfortunately I spawned immortals. Plus most of the quests felt like chores and god knows why I would want to save for everything if you can't do anything with it.

Ok review.

It used to be funny to watch him hate on games, but after a while the joy ears off. The fanboys on one side of the line defending the games get annoying and the jerkholes on the other side agree with Ben...well....
They were always annoying. It was funny when he shot the game, but the bit where lifeless sociopaths stand around going "Ha ha. Yea, that one sucked. Ha ha. I wonder what its like to actualy play it? Ha ha." over its broken body was old on day 1.

So the review was funny, but by now its old. The only thing i still lol at is the rare occasion when he compliments a game because of how annoyed he sounds at having to give the game its due.

It would be interesting to put the ability to kill children into the game, but then again why not let you rape people rather than seduce them?
I hate to tell you all this...but: Games are not real life. No game has the proccessing power to give you all the choices we have in reality, so some things are gonna get cut. In addition, as graphics get better, the games that allow acts of mindless sadistic violence tend to get targeted by moral extremists. Or even people who just happen to dislike child killing.

Although as i pointed out before a lot of Bens fans come across as parroting sociopaths who are at this point probably saying to themselves "Hey! I dont mind games that let you kill children! Yahtzee supports murdering children then so do I! Haha. Freedom to be a sadistic psychopath and live out my twisted fantasy! Haha."

A ruthless, Chaotic Evil, teabag the corpse Counter-strike style BOOM HEADSHOT total fucking massacre of Peter Molyneux's fragile sense of self-worth. That's it. And I laughed my gods-damned ass off.

See Exhibit A above.

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