Zero Punctuation: Fable 2

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I gotta say... this review was everything I actually expected it to be. The humouresque tone of the Charismatic Stallion aside, Fable 2 was exactly what I'd expected it to be upon researching it. It's just an upgrade of the original, with less freedom than it promised. Good on yer, Yahztee for reading my mind again.

I became king in this game and bought ever single f*cKing house bought a mansion and it took me two whole f*cking days to do it and after all that I get no Royality bonus no one saying "How you do King" Why the H3ll Would you allow someone to be crowned King and then Tell them You can't do anything with your powers you can still get arrested you can walk into bowerstone and kill 1000 people and your only penitaly is doing a quest to kill some troll to Repay your debt its just retarded Thanks Yahtzee It really gives me pleasure on wendsdays when you take games that are full of themself and Tear that Aszhole Up. :D

Qayin:

m_jim:
[quote="Qayin" post="6.76789.919764"]
Actually, I'm pretty sure that it doesn't. Granted it's been a while since I have seen the movie, but I don't think that ever happened. What part are you thinking of?

I'm probably thinking of a different film, but I was sure at one point a child was accidentally shot...

No, I think I'm thinking of a different film, sorry.

In Bruges, maybe? It's also got two fast-talking, smarty pants hitmen.

"Why can't I marry my dog?". Love the little dog animation with the wedding veil, haha.

As much as i truly love the game and its predecessor, this review was spot on in my opinion.
It is just more of the same with a little more piled on for good measure... with a dog.

Every issue brought up was relevant and true, but it left me wondering...

Why not mention the other(admittedly) more obvious flaws?

Alexious:
Thank you Yahtzee for giving me something to look forward to on a Wednesday :)

Agreed! Too bad thousands of other people apparently think the same, because I can never get to the video till somewhere around 22:00 (or 10PM, if you're American).

Chips is not a proper name for a dog!

Also, good lord, the way the Escapist is whoring themselves out to Nuts & Bolts, I hope Croshaw doesn't review it... they might break his legs or something if he gives it a bad review.

Heroic One:
Chips is not a proper name for a dog!

Also, good lord, the way the Escapist is whoring themselves out to Nuts & Bolts, I hope Croshaw doesn't review it... they might break his legs or something if he gives it a bad review.

I don't know escapist is out to make a dam and he WILL review and hell tear it that sh!t up because its bound to be terrible

ANTI-SANTA:
Fuck off Yahztee. Fable 2 was awsome and is still one of my all time favorites. Fuck you are so one dimensional.

Get off the forms peter and go back to Lionhead...dam Brisish...

So far the videos have been playing fine for me, once and a rare while they freeze or lag a bit. I use Firefox, but as for some of the complaints on the game adverts at the start and end of the video, well that's just business. Gotta advertise to keep the site free to the general public, I'm willing to suffer the ADs if it means getting to watch these great reviews. I'm grateful to my friend who introduced me to this, keep up the great work!

I find it bloody hilarious that when the first review came out for this on The Escapist which praised its arse off, I called that they were full of shit and were only praising it because it was being advertised all over The Escapist.

Im glad to see that they waited for the Fable 2 advertising campaign to end before they allowed Yahtzee to tear the living shit out of it, which I knew he would do.

And when I called that the review was full of shit, most of you Escapist fan boys (You know, the ones who seem to think their opinion matters on a forum site made for gaming but still find it acceptable to have debates about religion on it) got in my face and backed up the review.

Now yahtzee has done a review completely different and you are jumping on the band wagon. Get your own brains and think for yourselves you sheep.

*sigh* gaming politics, oh how I love thee.

haha awesome.. I had a rant at uni the other day how fallout 3 didn't let me kill the kids and yahtzee has the same opinion!

the kids in question needed to open a door for me to progress... I could see the pulley but it wouldn't let me use it, i needed to get permission from the "mayor" before they'd open it.. I thought "fuck this!" and tried to shoot the little girl protecting the gate, it didn't even upset her!

stupid pretend freedom -.-

That was my exact thought when my friend told me that you couldn't beat your kids in the game.

You do realize that someone else in the game killed children, right? Why shouldn't you be able to do that as well? That's a double standard, and one standard will do us just fine, sir.

I haven't played fable 2 yet but I also ran into the problem of Not being able to kill the Children in Fallout 3 and frankly I don't see why not. I don't see why killing a shorter NPC is that much worse than all the other morally evil and ambiguous things you can do in both Fable and Fallout so why is this taboo?
I mean come on. I wasn't even able to sell them into slavery though God knows I tried. So please, game designers, let me be as much of an evil douchebag as I possibly can.

I am also providing exhibits B,C and D for you to examine. These ones are all from Pro Childkillers.

It's funny how he tells us that just like the first game, you only need melee one second, then tells us you only need magic the next, and meanwhile, I've played through the whole game just shooting people. The truth about combat is that it's just like the rest of the game: you can do it however you want, and there's no real incentive for anything either way.

Actually I was wondering how the dog is around for so long too. I mean the thing looked pretty big when you saved it as a child, and it stays around when you grow old.

About the game... it got pretty boring. big let-down.

ShadowFlex:

Firstly NewClassic,
Please refrain from talking about a single point of my post, unless you wish to discuss it as a whole. Also if you want to discuss something I post with me please keep the subject matter in hand as "-USER BANNED-" Was only an off topic joke and was not intended to be taken seriously or by any means offend your eyes.

Secondly,
Stop acting as if you're a forum moderator, you have no jurisdiction over what is posted on these boards and I find your "holier-than-though" Attitude grating.

Thirdly, (and by far not least)
Classing me along side the 4channers for using one line of caps from what was a fully coherent post, are you serious? Well you posted on my comment so that must make you a...-Chooses from random selection- Oh a Nazi!

Well sorry to Yahtzee for going completely off-topic, but some people just get the worst of you sometimes, ya-know?

I do not find myself, nor my actions, moderator-esque. If I did, I would probably be a lot kinder and more patient with the things that irritate me. Because I have no such official requirements, I'm a lot more verbal about things that bother me, the above included. As far as the whole post, I'll do so now.

ShadowFlex:
I am looking forward to a Fallout 3 review by you, but take that with salt my friend. I'm playing through it at the moment and enjoying the experience tremendously so it worries me greatly what you might point out with your perception; ultimately destroying the game for me when the "Problems" you list manifest to the fore point of my sub conscious. You're always a bastard when it comes to that haha.

This is the meat of your post, at least what of it that isn't referring directly to Yahtzee. As such, I do not believe Yahtzee himself reads these comments, or if he does, makes no effort to visibly reply, to my knowledge.

As well as the commentary on Fallout 3, I don't believe seeing any review should ultimately affect your gameplay experience. Sometimes you'll notice things you didn't before, but if it makes a game un-enjoyable, then you're probably focusing on the wrong aspects of the game.

No, I made the statement that this forum is not 4chan, I not once said you were a chan-tard. I'm simply saying, posting something like that, even as a tail, is very out of character for these forums.

Apologies for my previous post, but posting further things like this sort of thing will do little more than further offending me.

Hilarious review I still like the game (I'm on my third character) still review was awesome as always keep up the good work.

Muphin_Mann:

That was my exact thought when my friend told me that you couldn't beat your kids in the game.

You do realize that someone else in the game killed children, right? Why shouldn't you be able to do that as well? That's a double standard, and one standard will do us just fine, sir.

I haven't played fable 2 yet but I also ran into the problem of Not being able to kill the Children in Fallout 3 and frankly I don't see why not. I don't see why killing a shorter NPC is that much worse than all the other morally evil and ambiguous things you can do in both Fable and Fallout so why is this taboo?
I mean come on. I wasn't even able to sell them into slavery though God knows I tried. So please, game designers, let me be as much of an evil douchebag as I possibly can.

I am also providing exhibits B,C and D for you to examine. These ones are all from Pro Childkillers.

Give it a rest, everything is extremely violent these days and seeing people die in TV shows, movies and video games is common. Basically video violence isn't the same as blood lust in real life, but it is true there are some crazy people out there that get the wrong idea. Killing a computer kid or dog is not any different to me when I slaughter millions of soldiers who do nothing wrong but defend there country or honor or whatever.

You might as well complain about violence altogether, personally exploding corpses is not needed in games. Just have it like Counter Strike or Perfect Dark, I don't believe you need to get more violent than that.

The game was was not as good as the first one, magic system sucked, and the people were really annoying. End note Yahtzee was way to nice on this one.

I managed to keep a straight face until the end
"OH WOOK HE'S A PUPPY, MASH HIS WITTLE FACE AND CALL HIM CHIPS!"
Oh, and not sure if you knew Ben Croshaw but if you advance in dextrous styles enough you can choose where to shoot:
Left hand
Right hand
Head hand
and Groin, although I like to call it the "Crotch shot"
and you can rename anyone but main characters, making Bert the crate carrier into Fagalicious Monster... the crate carrier.
Overall though
(spoiler ahead)
it was hilarious to take away Lucien's manhood and watch him fall to his death while I shat myself during the credits, especially at the pictures of people who look insane.

That was some funny shit.

This one was brutal...Yahzee must be in a bad mood this week. That is, more bad than usual.

Still hilarious, though.

So Peter Molyneux personally contacted you? Sheesh talk about trying to convince everyone he's the shiznit.

I laughed for a full 5 minutes after that end part.

nightowlc:

Less Than Glorious:
You know, I'm a little disappointed. Why would you want to get married? Why, for the little gem of a side-quest that allows you to dig up the various pieces of a corpse of a woman murdered for being a witch, bring her back to life so that a rapist can force her to fall in love with him, force her to fall in love with you instead, kill the rapist, marry the corpse-witch, and proceed to fuck the brains right back out of her.

And get no 'evil points' or whatever the hell they're called.

Yes, the rest of the game was pretty stunningly mediocre, but how often do you come across a good corpse-fucking side-quest in gaming today?

Oh. Well in that case, it TOTALLY makes sense.

Seriously, please tell me you're kidding. Have the game writers/designers been reading too many bad Anita Blake novels or something?

No, I'm dead serious. I was laughing my ass off through the entire end of that mini-quest.

My brother played this whole game through in about a week, and while watching him kill his 5th wife just for laughs was good for a giggle, I found the ending to be completely STUPID! You can be the most evil of evil, killing towns for breakfast and then when it comes to the magical all powerful wish granting time, the most evil option available is....wish for money. Seriously - what the hell - at least in the first one u got to kill your sister and run around with a big ass sword. Pretty poor if you ask me.

Amen, though I feel you should have covered the fact that wether you play good or evil the ending is still the same save 2 lines of changed dialoge and the story was actualy a downgrade from fable 1

Qayin:

m_jim:
[quote="Qayin" post="6.76789.919764"]
Actually, I'm pretty sure that it doesn't. Granted it's been a while since I have seen the movie, but I don't think that ever happened. What part are you thinking of?

I'm probably thinking of a different film, but I was sure at one point a child was accidentally shot...

No, I think I'm thinking of a different film, sorry.

You may be thinking of Assault on Precinct 13. Little girl gets shot in front of an icecream car. Not accidentally though. Very intentionally.
Very warm and fuzzy scene.

After the HUGE disappointment that was Fable TLC and after seeing that Fable II looks & plays a lot like Fable TLC I thing I will just stay awayfrom this game until it's for sale for $5 somewhere

By the way... you can't kill kids in Fallout 3 either...

Hilarious review, as always. Haha!

Isn't Fable 2 really more like Fable 1.5? All the crap the first one was supposed to do and a dog too. Yahtzee never fails to nearly make me piss myself every week. A seriously funny dude.

"So the whole RPG aspect of this action rpg is a bit of a mess the combat is easily broken and even if you try and challenge yourself, say playing without magic while someone sucks you off..The lack of penantly for death and the shortness of the story quest means you can plow through it to the end credits before you even come."

So...its like Bioshock? *hides*

entropy3ko:
After the HUGE disappointment that was Fable TLC and after seeing that Fable II looks & plays a lot like Fable TLC I thing I will just stay awayfrom this game until it's for sale for $5 somewhere

By the way... you can't kill kids in Fallout 3 either...

No...but you can dail up the console click on them type in kill hit enter and they die which is good enough...and mods will be coming around to fix that issue so.. meh unlike 90% of games that are broken out of the box and left unfix by the devs because they have cocaine habits to spend on...er..wait not the devs as much..the publishers more so...

Even if FO3 is almost as unfinished at BS was/is at between the devs actually trying to fix things on it and modding for it its going to be a awesome game. BS just gets a preqaule but no more patches no more fixes no more balance work I regret spending a dime on it.... I do so much like FO3 but good god sicrom and some drm codecs the game installed has fcked over my system...

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