Zero Punctuation: Fable 2

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ooh look hes a doggy, mash up his little face and call him chips.

funny shit

Best review since Guitar Hero 3!

BEST ENDING EVER!

"Oh look hes a little doggy, mash up his face and call him chips" haha classic. Thought the game wasn't bad, nothing special but completed it in about a day and had a few side quests, it all gets a bit simple once you own all the cities, I found myself getting married to the whores just for a laugh and grinding the arena for exp.

Good game but nothing overly special!

Yahtzee Yahtzee Yahtzee.

You legend.

I have to say that i've been waiting for a Fable 2 review for 2 odd weeks and you never disappoint me.

Everything you said in that entire review is everything that was going through my head while playing Fable 2.

It's as if i brought Fable 2 but Fable 1 was in the case :S

Other things to add on top of what you said;

The hell load of glitches! I still can't complete 3 quests as my wife has disappeared, probably cheating on me, this other NPC has disappeared and my dog covers something i need to pick up and won't move -.-

The lip syncing in the game is absolutely terrible, even worse than Sonic the fucking Hedgehog!

Online play : The henchman thing is bloody terrible. Why would i want my friend to come to my unique world that is no unique. We go to find some dungeons and they're non-existent or i've already cleared them -.-

Well they were just a few things :) Thanks for finally bursting the whole Fable 2 bubble :)

Hey, listen!

You never actually reviewed The Darkness, you just reviewed it's demo, which is about 12 hours shorter and lacking in anything that made the game good while magnifiying all it's flaws to about 10x how bad they were in the actual game.

griffinith:
Next week.. Left for Dead. (I hope)

Probably not.

Muphin_Mann:
Ok review.

It used to be funny to watch him hate on games, but after a while the joy ears off. The fanboys on one side of the line defending the games get annoying and the jerkholes on the other side agree with Ben...well....
They were always annoying. It was funny when he shot the game, but the bit where lifeless sociopaths stand around going "Ha ha. Yea, that one sucked. Ha ha. I wonder what its like to actualy play it? Ha ha." over its broken body was old on day 1.

So the review was funny, but by now its old. The only thing i still lol at is the rare occasion when he compliments a game because of how annoyed he sounds at having to give the game its due.

It would be interesting to put the ability to kill children into the game, but then again why not let you rape people rather than seduce them?
I hate to tell you all this...but: Games are not real life. No game has the proccessing power to give you all the choices we have in reality, so some things are gonna get cut. In addition, as graphics get better, the games that allow acts of mindless sadistic violence tend to get targeted by moral extremists. Or even people who just happen to dislike child killing.

Although as i pointed out before a lot of Bens fans come across as parroting sociopaths who are at this point probably saying to themselves "Hey! I dont mind games that let you kill children! Yahtzee supports murdering children then so do I! Haha. Freedom to be a sadistic psychopath and live out my twisted fantasy! Haha."

A ruthless, Chaotic Evil, teabag the corpse Counter-strike style BOOM HEADSHOT total fucking massacre of Peter Molyneux's fragile sense of self-worth. That's it. And I laughed my gods-damned ass off.

See Exhibit A above.

Did something someone say hurt you a little? Something about what you wrote, or how you wrote it, makes you feel a bit... insecure. Don't get me wrong I'm pretty sure I missed something in that.

I must say he pointed out the wrong things. How about the lots of game breaking glitches or annoyances? If people want child murdering this instant they should watch that Postal movie our beloved Uwe made (it's actually good). Child murdering in games can wait I don't have any need for it just this minute.

Murdering children is the biggest taboo ever, and if someone breaks that, I will tell him "good job".

Well I do not really wanto to kill the children in FO3 (I play the good guy) I just tried once to see what would happen, how much Karma I would lose and such. When I shot a kid in Canterbury Commons he ran away crying but did not die. It was quite funny. No Karma was lost.

FO3 was great, not without flaws but I like playing it still.
The end was a bit of a kick in the balls though...

Also I think they could have made a little more environments (Although the sameness of the wasteland does get you in the postapocaliptyc mood), enemies (there are only 4 types of supermutants and they all look the same... too bad) and songs (I love the songs on GNR, I am afan of the genre,I just wish they had a larger selection)

That is the main problem with FO3 I think... it leaves you wanting MORE. I hear Bethesda will publish exdpansion pack online (probably via Steam).

Anyway you are not the only one with bugs on FO3. Sometimes the game freezes on me, and I know a few more people who have the same problem. The problem is indeed in the codecs I think.
It's not too annoying though... there is the occasional bug here and there, but it can be corrected.

Bioshock is quite fun, but I am not a huge fan of linear FPS, although I like HL2.

If fable 2 is anything like fable then it's definitively inferior to Oblivion or Morrowind and Fallout 3.

After I finished Fable I unistalled it and buried the box not to see it again.

Hilarious as always. Especially since I loved your Fable review - I watched it shortly after having played the PC version of the game.

Dude, you gotta get your German right, though.
"Other than that..."
I'd translate that to: "davon abgesehen..." or something.
The same thing happened back when you said "und precisely von".
It's funny but kinda sad, too. ;-)

Skeleon:
Hilarious as always. Especially since I loved your Fable review - I watched it shortly after having played the PC version of the game.

Dude, you gotta get your German right, though.
"Other than that..."
I'd translate that to: "davon abgesehen..." or something.
The same thing happened back when you said "und precisely von".
It's funny but kinda sad, too. ;-)

Maybe the previous instance hints that it's done out of style rather than just to interject some german : /

Why weren't there any jokes in that one?

EDIT: Also no 3d game is ever going to let you kill children, pointing too fallout where the kids and midgets were indistinguishable is moronic.

WickedSkin:

Murdering children is the biggest taboo ever, and if someone breaks that, I will tell him "good job".

Fallout 1 anyone? O_o You even got a "perk" that tagged you as a child killer. Made people hate you :o

Well, if it was intentional it's still not funny.
Just... pointless?

Eh, Fable itself sucked, so I was surprised that so many were jumping up and down screaming for this one. Then again, it's a mystery to me why Half Life 2 - one of the most overrated games in history - is tops on the Metacritic list. So Fable 2 is just a clone of the first? That's like heaping piles of dogshit onto an already full manure wagon.

You want to bash something I love (and your unabashed wetness over HL2 is saddening), review Fallout 3. I know you'll hate it!

Or, yeah, Farcry 2. It's in need of a solid drubbing, also.

WTF was that thing at the end?? hope he takes the piss outa that game

Qayin:
I really hope people won't be taking this review too seriously.

I'm a big fan of ZP, and Yahtzee's work outside of the Escapist - particularly the John DeFoe games - but I can still clearly see that this was nothing but a rant, not a review.

Yahtzee usually provides something to agree with, something that isn't just nitpicking, but this was fairly pathetic, to the point where I found myself slightly angered.

I understand the need to entertain, but it seems that with this, and the previous few reviews, Yahtzee is starting to sacrifice his integrity as a reviewer, for the sake of humour.

If you want to beat up children, you shouldn't be looking for it on video games - I was under the impression that it was common knowledge that violence against children was a big no-no in the gaming industry, yet Yahtzee seems unaware of this, as he's gone ahead and complained about it.

I also find this rather contradictory - recently in an article for news.com.au Yahtzee wrote about the censorship of Silent Hill. In this article, he wrote that anyone who claimed that violence was essential to the gaming experience was A) More or less wrong and B) Slightly psychopathic. Yet here he is, complaining that being unable to hit children somehow damages his enjoyment.

This video was as funny as usual, but lacked credibility; please don't do what most Yahtzee fans do, and take this as divine gospel - do not let this rant sway your opinion of Fable 2.

Then again, I personally love Fable 2, and worship it as a beacon of hope in the gaming industry, so perhaps I'm heavily biased myself.

EDIT; To clarify - As a rant, this was hilarious. As a review...pretty damn poor.

Also, the issue with violence against children in games is interactivity. You're allowed to watch a child get shot, but you are not allowed to shoot a child yourself. There is a difference, there; watching a child be shot is one thing, wanting to and trying to shoot a child yourself is, well, pushing the limit of acceptible content.

I heartily...heartaly.....heartelly........I strongly agree with you!

entropy3ko:
If fable 2 is anything like fable then it's definitively inferior to Oblivion or Morrowind and Fallout 3.

After I finished Fable I unistalled it and buried the box not to see it again.

Execpt more fun and it has humour.

Lordok:

WickedSkin:

Murdering children is the biggest taboo ever, and if someone breaks that, I will tell him "good job".

Fallout 1 anyone? O_o You even got a "perk" that tagged you as a child killer. Made people hate you :o

You are correct! There was porn to wasn't it? Also prostitutes.

hell upgrading the game is bull shit seiruesly who wants the same god dawm game you played only a year ago but with only a shit faced dog and other random crap thats like going out to by a spider man 2.2 of the dvd and all it has is an animated comentary of how its only a "little" like 2.1 for christ sake the point of game sequals is to mix it up for the pleasure of the fans BUT O WELL i'm sure that concept was thrown out as soon as pong turned into two people running around a 2d make hitting a ball. what i see is fable 2 is just what it is a fable they wouldn't make it another they just thought to make it a smige better

WickedSkin:

Lordok:

WickedSkin:

Murdering children is the biggest taboo ever, and if someone breaks that, I will tell him "good job".

Fallout 1 anyone? O_o You even got a "perk" that tagged you as a child killer. Made people hate you :o

You are correct! There was porn to wasn't it? Also prostitutes.

There sure was. Fallout 1 and 2 are awesome examples of how freedom in games should be (Fallout 3 tried and failed and turned into Oblivion with guns and a crybaby main character :( ). Not saying all games should contain prostitutes, porn och child killing, but they were things that added to the fallout universe. Fable 1 and 2 are far from being as free as Mr Peter M wants us to think. Still they are somewhat good games. Just abit hyped :D

Lordok:

WickedSkin:

Murdering children is the biggest taboo ever, and if someone breaks that, I will tell him "good job".

Fallout 1 anyone? O_o You even got a "perk" that tagged you as a child killer. Made people hate you :o

The great thing about the child endangerment was it added so much to gameplay even if you weren't an evil character. Occasionally you'd get little kids straying into your fire fights and, invariably, a few would get hit and die. It made the bleak wasteland all the bleaker.

Neosage:

entropy3ko:
If fable 2 is anything like fable then it's definitively inferior to Oblivion or Morrowind and Fallout 3.

After I finished Fable I unistalled it and buried the box not to see it again.

Execpt more fun and it has humour.

Since when does Fallout not have humour and fun?

Skeleon:
Well, if it was intentional it's still not funny.
Just... pointless?

Just because you don't find it funny doesn't mean other people won't. Different brands of humor work on different people :)

Good review, your best in a while IMO.

Indigo_Dingo:

Neosage:

entropy3ko:
If fable 2 is anything like fable then it's definitively inferior to Oblivion or Morrowind and Fallout 3.

After I finished Fable I unistalled it and buried the box not to see it again.

Execpt more fun and it has humour.

Since when does Fallout not have humour and fun?

Maybe I should have excluded Fallout i haven't played it. Though it does come across as a much more serious game.

Neosage:

Indigo_Dingo:

Neosage:

entropy3ko:
If fable 2 is anything like fable then it's definitively inferior to Oblivion or Morrowind and Fallout 3.

After I finished Fable I unistalled it and buried the box not to see it again.

Execpt more fun and it has humour.

Since when does Fallout not have humour and fun?

Maybe I should have excluded Fallout i haven't played it. Though it does come across as a much more serious game.

Fallout 3 does look way more serious then it should; way more serious then Fallout 2, which is one reason I'm leery of it. But you're right that the first Fable had more humor and fun. It's just that the humor and fun was distinctly... stupid. Anime / JRPG retread moments that, for me, fell completely flat and were insulting to my intelligence. No offence if you liked it, but it was a profoundly juvenile game.

I think you went a little easy on it Yahtzee. No mention of the bugs this game seems to have crawling all over its unfinished ass.

hilarious review as always especially the last bit about the dog

'cause thats what I always wanted to do in a game, pay child support

Lusperus:
'cause thats what I always wanted to do in a game, pay child support

Haha! Nice one. Worst thing about this game is the lack of customization and freedom for a game claiming it would change the way we look at games forever.

He should review Mirror's Edge.

Spot on with both Fable games. Bravo.

So many of my friends were disappointed with this review. They expected him to love it as much as they do. The strange part is that shortly after watching this, they went back to fallout 2...Yahtzee has a pretty strong effect of the minds of sheep...

Ragdrazi:

Lordok:

WickedSkin:

Murdering children is the biggest taboo ever, and if someone breaks that, I will tell him "good job".

Fallout 1 anyone? O_o You even got a "perk" that tagged you as a child killer. Made people hate you :o

The great thing about the child endangerment was it added so much to gameplay even if you weren't an evil character. Occasionally you'd get little kids straying into your fire fights and, invariably, a few would get hit and die. It made the bleak wasteland all the bleaker.

Right you are. I remember feeling horrible the first that that happened to me.
Ahhhh *Sighs and lovingly remembers Fallout 1 and 2*

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