Stolen Pixels #41: Pick a Perk

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Yeah, all console ports of classic PC games aren't oversimplified - they're 'cleansed' of 'excess' verbiage/mechanics/options that detract from the playing experience. The console ports and sequels are 'streamlined' and thus 'better' versions of said classics.

Excuse me while I wretch.

No, this is just yet another problem with the drive for short-term gains at the expense of long-term vision. You have a market audience that is younger with a shorter attention span on a system that is specifically made so as not to be tinkered with and a ridiculously high bar solely in the graphics department that you reach by cutting out overall game design, storyboard writing and vision.

I'm 25 and I'm already a crotchy old coot. I hate being condescended to by the simulated 'complexity' of today's games especially when I know I can fire up an ACTUALLY deep game that I can sink my teeth into. I want to try out all the little niggling details and I want them to have real consequences, even if it means I must start from scratch. I hate this hand-holding because I as a person am looking for something more challenging than this brainless rollercoaster ride insult to my intelligence.

Case and point, the Civilization series on PC as compared to its console iteration, "Revolution."

Shamus Young:
If you can junction materia in FFVIII, then...

I'm amazed no-one's picked you up on this HUGE clanger! Junctioning materia is soooooo FFVII; FFVIII was junctioning GFs...

;)

This is what happens when you make an "FPS-RPG" - you get a game that cannot be criticized. If the shooting sucks, you can blame it on the game not being "your average shooter" while simplified stats, plot holes and overall shallowness can be attributed to the game not being "your typical RPG".

I agree that the "dumbing down" is annoying, but then again so was largly destroying your whole character in F1/F2 because you picked wrong stats at the beggining or during a level up.And frankly, I'd rather have Bethesda rid off RPG-mechanics altogether if only they could direct those freshly-gained resources into story that doesn't suck, dialogue that attempts to to resemble human interaction and a realistic living post-apocalyptic world as opposed to a Nuclear Wasteland-Themed Amusement Park, Capital Wasteland is in Fallout 3.

Because while spreadsheets and stats are a nice addition, the above are the things I'm looking for in an RPG in first place.

I'd love the fewer crashes perk.

I can't believe this is featured on Kotaku lol.

I don't understand the "I picked bad stats at the beggining" thing. What did you guys do to actually fuck everything up from the start? There's pretty much a way to get through Fallout 1 2 AND 3 no matter what your stats are.

mistermurphy:
and not figuring out whether Squall was secretly an imaginary water rugby player sent back in time to save the world from a vicious cycle of death and rebirth centered around crystals.

Brain = broke.

nose = bled.

Ron Pearlman perk activated
"and you see, ici, nous avons, el mutanto"
did I mention it was from the '80s version? (I'm guessing 3 people out of a probable 175 will get this joke)

i was thinkng when you said final fantasy-space shuttle, hes gonna say 8
no materia in FF8, its guardian forces
did manage to junction, but only at the age of 14 on my 3rd play through

radio_babylon:
you know... it COULD be people dont WANT to play a spreadsheet. i know, thats crazy-talk, everyone knows spreadsheets are great fun. thats why excel is the best-selling pc game ever... but stick with me for a minute here... see, lots of people, they play those awesome spreadsheet games all day long (and get paid for it! amazing, isnt it?) so sometimes when they get home, maybe they want to give the spreadsheet a rest... maybe they just want to have some idle fun.

now, i know, these people are total retards. theres not even a need for an IQ test. since they dont want what you want, and since you are obviously a genius, then it follows that they are clearly retarded, or at the very least got dropped on their head as a child.

but, retard or not, at least now they have something to play. before, when theyre were only spreadsheets to play, these retards mostly ignored the mathalicious awesomeness of those games, in favor of keeping their money in their pockets. then one day, a bunch of retards made a game FOR retards, you know, a spreadsheet-lite. and holy shit, it sold a fuckton! who knew there were so many retards out there waiting to give up their cash?? i mean, everyone knows the hardcore spreadsheeters are the only gamers that matter, right?

but dont worry, hardcore! im sure just ANY day now, developers are going to wake up and realize they dont care about all those retards that outnumber the smart people 4 to 1, and they CERTAINLY dont care for all that retard money, and theyll go back to making those delicious spreadsheets for you. shout it with me, fuck those retards! fuck their money!

God, this post is hilarious.

I really would like to mention that when the original games were made, the concept of "lifestyle/family" gamers or even "testosterone" gamers was pretty much unheard of. Nowadays, they understand that people who might not necessarily go buy Fallout 3 maybe -would- buy it after their "hardcore" friend told them it was awesome.

So they make it complex enough to appeal to most, and simple enough to be enjoyable by most, and then you have an AAA title that sold more than the previous Fallout games combined (lol today's market), and then you get a game of the year award.

But yeah, I do agree that not everything should be dumbed down, and there should be different levels of play, honestly, and complexity != good design, and extensiveness != good design, but sometimes these aspects can create a more fulfilling experience for a player.

ElArabDeMagnifico:
I don't understand the "I picked bad stats at the beggining" thing. What did you guys do to actually fuck everything up from the start? There's pretty much a way to get through Fallout 1 2 AND 3 no matter what your stats are.

- Pick Finesse at the start of F1.
- Put no points into the melee and unarmed skills at the start of F2.
- Mismanage your ammo in F2 (Wannamingo Mines eventually bites you in the ass)
- Go with "Skilled" and then min-max your stats (stats get too imbalanced, and then you're left with four levels you have to gain before you perk-up and get a decent stat level*)
- Use "Int" or "Cha" as dump stats.
- Use "Con" as a dump stat.
- Not having an Endurance of 7/CHA of 6 when you get to Golden Globes studios in F2. (Nonessential, but fun!)
- essentially do anything that would make normal people go "My god, you haven't the brains God gave a defective dessert spoon!" (See also: radio_babylon's Amazing Schizophasia Attack!(tm), anyone who mentioned perverting the facts and compared this to Zero Punctuation)

Ron Perlman: Yes..

Flamewar: Sad but true... ;)

Caedrel:

Shamus Young:
If you can junction materia in FFVIII, then...

I'm amazed no-one's picked you up on this HUGE clanger! Junctioning materia is soooooo FFVII; FFVIII was junctioning GFs...

;)

lol My first thought too.

But yes, Shamus, I agree with everything you say. Every comic to this point voices my very opinions on the subject matter. You are awesome and know your stuff.

mistermurphy:
I believe he was referring to the mechanics of the Final Fantasy games, and not their story. I inferred this from the fact that he referenced junctioning materia, and not figuring out whether Squall was secretly an imaginary water rugby player sent back in time to save the world from a vicious cycle of death and rebirth centered around crystals.

Squall was an imaginary water rugby player?

I'm surprised nobody spotted this.

Materia is in Final Fantasy VII.
You junction Magic Spells that you draw from your enemies in Final Fantasy VIII.

Just sayin'.

Dude you read my mind,,ff13 was watered down so 360 users could play it

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