Zero Punctuation: Mirror's Edge

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Yegargeburble:
This adds another game to my "Games I should not play" list

Yeah, I mean why make valid judgments on games for yourself when you can just become a lemming and follow the Yahtzee-game-hating-bandwagon without actually playing the game?

The irony of the Eve Online trailer just kills me

As for the game, even from the ads for it, I had the feeling it would be somewhat skeletal. From the review, Yahtzee agrees. I will admit to not playing the game thus my opinion might not mean much, but it isn't really necessary to have the police on your ass 24/7 to build up a desperate tension. It sounds like ME fell into that trap of constantly having the player under attack. That kinda of gameplay will only jade a player rather than drive the tension up.

I'll still get it when the PC version comes out if only to check it out. As Yatzee would say it's the Killer7 argument. You have to play it just for the sheer uniqueness of it.

Everyone who sais he knew this game would suck is a liar.

It's interesting to note that, aside from slight plot confusion (ok not really, seriously the opening cutscene explained the fact that information is now controlled and this is like 1984. It was not a gigantic stretch to understand the concept.) I had none of the problems Yahtzee mentioned, like dodgy collision detection, having trouble jumping, or being forced to fight. In fact, except for the one specifice "chase down and beat up this person" objective I saw no need to actually fight anyone when one thinks about it, even the people who you must take down you can usually outrun.

Then I noticed that he was using the PS3 graphic for this, and I realized...he was playing it for the PS3. And that's why I, playing the Xbox 360 version, did not have the problems of a PS3 user, and thus probably enjoyed the game a lot more, and still do. Even though I beat it I will pick it up from time to time to do the time-trials and speedruns.

So basically when you take it in the perspective of a PS3 game review, it is probably 100% accurate and even funnier for me.

On another note if platforming is so hard in first-person then Parkour in real life would not exist. I actually give props to EA DICE for actually making a workable first-person platforming system (which granted, is not perfect, but oh well)

And that is not something I'd thought I'd say about anything EA-related.

Sayvara:
*giggles*

Oh I love how everyone is blaming EA for this even though they havn't got a line of code in this... and the reason I love that is because actual programmers are swedi....

...oh crap, I just blew the secret, didn't I?
/S

Safe-Keeper:

Glad to know im not the only one who beat it in one day lol

Everyone finished it in one day. It's a short game.

I think first-person platforming would be exhilarating if it were implemented well. Unfortunately, this is EA we're talking about, so NO, it's NOT.

EA didn't make the game, DICE Sweden did. I'm glad you're not the one doing the reviews.

I guess you hate the Battlefield series, too, since BF1942, BF2 and BF2142 all came out of DICE Sweden ;) ?

Perhaps you two brainiacs should at least take the few seconds off you need to check Wikipedia before failing epically being condescending smartasses. Or at least take the time and explain how a game which is made by a 100% subsidiary of EA (called EA DICE) actually ISN'T made by EA. Or bring examples of modern EA games NOT made by EA subsidiaries. Good luck on both accounts. Or even better: Get back to "me too" posts.

Funny as always but im still going to play the game ^_^

hey I just remembered in your E3 trailer park video in the credits you said "on the other hand mirrors edge looks pretty sweet"

Yeah, I had almost none of the problems Yahtzee had. Except for being locked into a room with a couple of bad guys and with no other apparent way out than killing them (happens a lot in the end). But no problems with the actual parkour part of the game...in fact, if they removed any need to touch the guards, I'd have enjoyed the game a whole lot more. Not that I didn't enjoy it already.

Dhael:
The irony of the Eve Online trailer just kills me

What irony? Seriously. They are aware of the review and still order ad campaigns on the Escapist. That actually speaks high of them. Or would you have preferred the alternative? Of course, pulling campaigns because of an unpleasant review is better torches and pitchforks angry mob material.

I happen to be a part of this oddness that people call "parkour" and I have also tried out mirrors edge. In my slightly professional but otherwise worthless view I might say that mirrors edge wouldīve been better off sticking to a 3rd person view. It worked miracles for assasins creed because the player could actually see were altair was going and observe surroundings at the same time. So I dont see why mirrors edge tries to limit the view of the runner (taking into account that a narrower view in a faster speed sucks like....well, sucks). A real human can see a little less than 180 degrees by looking forwards, but no game has yet delivered that. So having a fast pased first person game with a main character suffering from tunnel vision screws the fast pase gaming real well, thus it makes the whole experience feel very unreal.

I'll do what I please gonna spread the disease because I wanna!

Mirror's Edge is fun, if not frustrating. I never thought about the storyline at all, quite eye opening your statements.

Well done again sir!

Bob_F_It:
And you were looking forward to it too. Perhaps like Assassin's creed but a bit worse.

From what I played it was definitely more interesting than Assassin's Creed...

I hope you're going to do Sonic Unleashed soon Mr Yahtzee sah.

This review reminds me of a couple of different things, in no particular order. That being said, let's number them and assign them arbitrary "figureheads," which is to say pick posts that represent my observations. Starting with column Q and work our way sideways.

1

Yahtzee Croshaw:
This week Zero Punctuation reviews Mirror's Edge.

Just taking this post to note that while the side-bar usually has something snippy, if not slightly amusing, such a feature is not present this week. Not so much a sign of the apocolypse, but more likely that some of the minor humorous charm I still watch these for is slipping away. Like all sequel-laden titles, I find Zero Punctuation to be going away from the humor I appreciate.

Not in and of itself a bad thing, just enough to maybe make me start waiting until next month to watch last year's reviews from here on out.

2

juraigamer:
One less game I won't be getting now.

Considering the nature of the way Yahtzee likes dislikes games, even on a college student's hilariously slim budget, you're going to be overburdened with free time and under-burdened with things to play. Try hitting up the User Reviews section to read more on this game. I find it to be a lot better than Yahtzee lets on.

3

Mrmandude:
Totaly Agree my friend got this game is "borrowed it" finished it told him it sucked gave it back to him i won the argument

Congratulations, you agree with Yahtzee. But unlike most others, you supply a situation. Although, for giggles completely unrelated to winning arguments, I'd like to discuss with you why you disliked Mirror's Edge, as I thought it was among the best titles to come out recently, including it in the ranks of Fallout 3 and Saints Row 2.

4

ShogunGino:
Well, to be honest, I disagree with Yahtzee's decision. But I suppose I would be put in a downtrodden attitude about a short game if I had to pay AU$100 for a game that I know other Westerners pay only half as much.

While I'm normally in-line to agree, Yahtzee has mentioned, multiple times, that The Escapist regularly funds his games, and that he's contractually obligated to review them, but it does give him a rather skewed perspective. Especially considering the theoretical dollars at play here, which is most ironically his largest and most non-existent concern.

He didn't like the game, but he didn't have to pay for it. It'd be like me complaining about "I Want To Be The Guy." The maker has to pay for the bandwidth of every download to produce and distribute his work, I don't have to pay for it. As such, I don't have any right to complain about his gameplay. If you like it, fine, but I don't. Even still, I won't say the developers and publishers are at fault for price. Making games isn't free, and I think they're charging reasonably for what they made.

5

TZer0:
Thank you for "pulling me down" :P. I was hoping that this game was to become great, but it turned to be a case of the old classic "new genre"-syndrome... innovation + sloppy game design = bad game (of course, Portal is one of the games that arn't suffering from this).

There are other reviews out there for Mirror's Edge out there. I'd suggest going and getting informed before making a brash decision. Most people liked it.

6

Azzaevil:
why dose EA suck so much? only games that was good was sims and c&c even tho westwood made it, but anyway ea sucks

Actually, what little I've played of Resistance, I've enjoyed. Which is a testament to the quality of the developer, DICE. EA themselves merely publish, which (most often) have very little to do with game design. Although The Sims were fun games, I also appreciated the gameplay fun of the Sim Cities and Spore (which were Maxis, not EA). And the Command and Conquer series (which you rightfully attribute to Westwood), were intensely fun games. You don't give EA enough credit. They do publish a lot, which does more to help the gaming market than hurt it, regardless of quality.

Their corporate tactics are what should be disputed (considering the Kane and Lynch fiasco), not their attempt at publishing several games.

7

Brokkr:
More people seem to get banned or put on probation for the ZP thread than any other.

More people deserve bans or probation for their posts in a Zero Punctuation thread than any other.

8

carnkhan4:
Is it just me or was Zp almost optimistic in this one?!?!

It's just you. Yahtzee has a tendency to encourage the bizarre and indie titles, if his opinions on games like Painkiller, Portal, and Psychonauts are to serve as references. The concept behind Mirror's Edge is likely something he would have encouraged in his first review as much as now. Although, he likely would've been easier on the game in his first review.

9

Khadath:

juraigamer:
One less game I won't be getting now.

I'm sorry but why in Satan's rectum do people take Yahtzee's review's as 100% right, if a review burns a game don't just make up your mind based on one person's thoughts rent the game to see for your self if you like it.

If you look around the forums, you'll find that a majority of the forums see the people who post on threads like these as sheep. Something I'm not going to mention with which I agree or disagree, but very few people will step forward to get a full understanding of a game before buying. It's why market research and marketing are so prevalent, and there are very few "regarded" game-review mediums. People will rarely look at more than two reviews, if even that many.

The shame of this is that Yahtzee is very loud about how he reviews, and because of his viewership, he's often the only opinion people turn to. Which is sad, considering how much salt you must approach Yahtzee's review with.

10

Richard Groovy Pants:
Wow, actually great review. You outdid yourself this time Yahtzee, kudos.

I often enjoy your insight to things, Richard Groovy Pants, but today's a day where I disagree. To not de-rail the thread, I won't blather aimlessly here. In short, though, I consider Yahtzee to be very consistently losing his form with each passing review.

11

Angrywyvern:
I too was wondering whether this game would meet my standards, so now I know, it doesn't. I think that Yahtzee's negativity can actually be believed here though, because he seemed to hate it more than most other games.

I'm going to echo the call for visiting the locals at User Reviews. A lot of them have much more reviewing tact that Yahtzee seems to. Humor? Not so much. But as reviews go, theirs are of more quality.

Inform yourself, charge not forward in blindness.

12

icnfde:

Yegargeburble:
This adds another game to my "Games I should not play" list

Yeah, I mean why make valid judgments on games for yourself when you can just become a lemming and follow the Yahtzee-game-hating-bandwagon without actually playing the game?

Why make valid judgments based on people for yourself when you can just assume people to be of a certain mind without actually giving them a chance?

Although it's not a perfect analogy, this rings very close to the pot and kettle.

13

AceDiamond:
It's interesting to note that, aside from slight plot confusion (ok not really, seriously the opening cutscene explained the fact that information is now controlled and this is like 1984. It was not a gigantic stretch to understand the concept.) I had none of the problems Yahtzee mentioned, like dodgy collision detection, having trouble jumping, or being forced to fight. In fact, except for the one specifice "chase down and beat up this person" objective I saw no need to actually fight anyone when one thinks about it, even the people who you must take down you can usually outrun.

Then I noticed that he was using the PS3 graphic for this, and I realized...he was playing it for the PS3. And that's why I, playing the Xbox 360 version, did not have the problems of a PS3 user, and thus probably enjoyed the game a lot more, and still do. Even though I beat it I will pick it up from time to time to do the time-trials and speedruns.

Except I was playing this for the PS3, and had very few problems with dodgy clipping and poor graphics. As a matter of fact, the entire play experience was smooth. I think Yahtzee was just blowing hot air here. Once I understood the mechanics of the game (in that it took me a minute to realize Faith wouldn't grab things unless she was looking directly at them from a jump), then the game ran completely without issue. Even on a PS3.

14

Anaphyis:

Sayvara:
*giggles*

Oh I love how everyone is blaming EA for this even though they havn't got a line of code in this... and the reason I love that is because actual programmers are swedi....

...oh crap, I just blew the secret, didn't I?
/S

Safe-Keeper:

Glad to know im not the only one who beat it in one day lol

Everyone finished it in one day. It's a short game.

I think first-person platforming would be exhilarating if it were implemented well. Unfortunately, this is EA we're talking about, so NO, it's NOT.

EA didn't make the game, DICE Sweden did. I'm glad you're not the one doing the reviews.

I guess you hate the Battlefield series, too, since BF1942, BF2 and BF2142 all came out of DICE Sweden ;) ?

Perhaps you two brainiacs should at least take the few seconds off you need to check Wikipedia before failing epically being condescending smartasses. Or at least take the time and explain how a game which is made by a 100% subsidiary of EA (called EA DICE) actually ISN'T made by EA. Or bring examples of modern EA games NOT made by EA subsidiaries. Good luck on both accounts. Or even better: Get back to "me too" posts.

Because being a condescending smartass is so much better when you have facts on your side. Pot, kettle, friend.

15
I'm going to trim down the following post to the points I agree with.

Shinkada:
Okay, Yahtzee, I've differed with your opinions before. Oblivion. No More Heroes. World of Warcraft. Soul Calibur 4... Hell, I've disagreed with more than half of your reviews, but that hasn't stopped them from being funny because most of the time you have a good point.

I am not a fanboy of this game, I could prattle on about its shortcomings for as long as you, even if I could rant about how much I loved it for twice as long. But the points you brought up in this were stupid. Ridiculous. Unfounded.

I've played through the game three times to date. I've never had object detection bugs like the ones you described. The storyline was completely explained if you watched the cutscenes (though to be honest I wouldn't blame you for skipping the godawful things, but still, the story's in there). There is one section in the entire game I remember having a problem with in terms of it being too bright, and that was a single, easy jump. The brightness didn't make me screw it up, just made me hesitate a bit. The proper-first-person thing worked just fine provided you aren't devoid of depth perception enough to not be able to guess where your feet are after about five minutes of trial and error. And the forced combat scenes, provided you're cautious, are fine. In fact I had some damn fun moments with some of them. Running down a parking lot screwing up a spec ops' aim with slow pistol shots, running out of ammo just before you get to him, discarding the gun and then fly-kicking him in the face to finish him off is the kind of shit DMC should have let you do outside the bloody cutscenes.

But nearly this entire review was crap you just pulled out of nowhere. The way you crapped on about the storyline making no sense and the mysterious contents of the bag who the police were supposedly chasing her for, makes me wonder if maybe it was the other way around; did you play only the demo and not the full game?

Talk about dignifying all the idiots, don't do that again.

Otherwise ranty, but good post. I applaud you. A little SC4 fanboy-y, though.

Irony : Eve being advertised around ZP.

Bigger Irony : Yahtzee complaining about a new idea.

Undead Dragon King:

They've already been banned. Blimey, that was quick!

I think the mods prepare themselves to ban a few people a few minutes before each ZP video.

NewClassic:

*Lots of text*

Wow youre hardcore.

I disagree with him on some points. I didn't find the visual effects too busy, but the places to jump to WERE very hard to find some times. I also thought that the reason the government was evil was pretty clear, which you are able to glean easily from the advertisements and info screens in the elevators. They're a vicious and corrupt mega-corporation that filters all information and manipulates people's lives. On the other hand, I might just be filling in the blanks, so I don't really know, but I really enjoyed it. It was original and refreshing and you know what? I think FPS platforming is a great idea. Not a good standard, mind you, but something good to play around with. I think if a sequel/similar game was made with more focus on outdoor environments, then it could be a really great title.

Why did 6 people get banned for perfectly good posts?

I hope they add essflawcondodgekindesimudstorliketersockity to the dictionary.

NewClassic:

Because being a condescending smartass is so much better when you have facts on your side. Pot, kettle, friend.

It actually is. Without the facts you are a condescending moron.

Looks like I'll be waiting for this to come down to budget price. The 2D flash version's pretty fun, though.

Anaphyis:

Dhael:
The irony of the Eve Online trailer just kills me

What irony? Seriously. They are aware of the review and still order ad campaigns on the Escapist. That actually speaks high of them. Or would you have preferred the alternative? Of course, pulling campaigns because of an unpleasant review is better torches and pitchforks angry mob material.

I do understand what you are saying. The fact that Eve didn't pulling adspace because Yahtzee butchered them speaks well for them. That does not stop it for being ironic.

Nice review, "eight hour fecal water-slide", best line ever. =D
Is there a way to find out what Yahtzee is reviewing next?
It would be great if it was Left 4 Dead.

The_root_of_all_evil:
Irony : Eve being advertised around ZP.

Bigger Irony : Yahtzee complaining about a new idea.

Actually, he commends the new idea, and complains about the execution.

Gormers1:

NewClassic:

*Lots of text*

Wow youre hardcore.

Thank you.

John Tacos:
Why did 6 people get banned for perfectly good posts?

It could've been that they were short, nothing-to-add posts all hastily typed in an attempt to get the first post proceeding Yahtzee. But I'd like to think it was because that they were commenting on the video about 2 minutes before the length of the video has elapsed.

It's like publishing a full play review about a theater production from your laptop during intermission. They clearly hadn't watched the video in full, because they would have had to had watched it from the posting time on, assuming they had the video page open the split second it was published, even discounting loading time for the video.

SgtFlaman:
I hope they add essflawcondodgekindesimudstorliketersockity to the dictionary.

I don't.

Anaphyis:

NewClassic:

Because being a condescending smartass is so much better when you have facts on your side. Pot, kettle, friend.

It actually is. Without the facts you are a condescending moron.

Neither "condescending" nor "smart ass" are properties one would normally like attributed to their names, factual or not. Why bother being so contrary just to be contrary. Ask them to correct their facts, not call them idiots for getting them wrong. If they don't change them despite future knowledge, then they are fools. Not before. Everyone is wrong sometimes.

As a matter a fact, a brief glance over of the Wiki page seemed to say that EA Acquired DICE, changing them to the "EA DICE" we have today, but mentions nothing of EA's role in production.

The safe assumption is that it was simply a named sub-company, but still maintained their previous development practices, which is to say DICE would have created Mirror's Edge the same way then as they have now.

Dhael:
I'll still get it when the PC version comes out if only to check it out. As Yatzee would say it's the Killer7 argument. You have to play it just for the sheer uniqueness of it.

What I wonder what kept him from stating the same here. He will usually be somewhat charitable to innovation, but here it got barely a mention... Why did the game piss him off so much? (His almost sadistic glee certainly seemed to stem from some sort of direct offence taken.)

It sucks how the game grabbed your attention amongst all the other big name games and it kinda lest you down like that. They are making a sequel. hopefully Rhianna Pratchet will do her job and actually write a good story this time. That's what I wanted to know the most; the story!. And now that I know it sucks I will not be buying this game. But the soundtrack is very good I gotta give them that.

I really enjoyed that. Much more than the last 5 or so reviews.

I'm not going to judge the game by this, but it was definitely funny. People need to realize that you can still enjoy his reviews even if he is not accurately depicting the whole picture. Sort of like the Sunglasses At Night walkthrough for Deus Ex.

DuncanRR:
Looks like I'll be waiting for this to come down to budget price. The 2D flash version's pretty fun, though.

There's a flash version? Where?

Dhael:

DuncanRR:
Looks like I'll be waiting for this to come down to budget price. The 2D flash version's pretty fun, though.

There's a flash version? Where?

Here.

one heck of a post Newclassic. My Xbox 360 broke down after 2 years of faithfull service to me, so now I canīt play Mirrors Edge and have to wait to January to buy it :( but hey patience is a virtue aye :D

NewClassic:

Dhael:

DuncanRR:
Looks like I'll be waiting for this to come down to budget price. The 2D flash version's pretty fun, though.

There's a flash version? Where?

Here.

If the game is anywhere near as fun as that flash game it will be money well spent. The flash is awesome.

Viggo:
I was hoping this game would turn out sorta like Portal but it just added another line to my "do not buy this game" list...

So... I suggest Gears of War 2 next time.

Blazsy:
This was very good on the demo, never seen anything like this before, but after playing it for the second time i got bored immedeatly. And the game was very bright indeed.

I very much hope it's Left 4 dead next week.

Don't Ask him to review good games (well maybe GoW2 because he hates that game and i bet it will be hillarious) I think you should just let yahzee yell at the arses and twats that make crappy games and say what everyone was thinking when they played the game.

Clearly, yahtzee has it in for this game. I liked it, although the constant dying got annoying, I like that whole idea that grimy grey was a GOOD thing, and it was refreshing to see a future that would seem perfect in every way until you notice the elephant in the room. I liked mirrors edge, and yahtzee needs to lighten up a bit when it comes to game that is SUPPOSED to be confusing because it's never been done before!

BITE ME YOU SPERICAL, NO-NECKED, PASTY MISANTHROPE!

icnfde:

Yegargeburble:
This adds another game to my "Games I should not play" list

Yeah, I mean why make valid judgments on games for yourself when you can just become a lemming and follow the Yahtzee-game-hating-bandwagon without actually playing the game?

Not so much game hating as "I have a very, very small amount of money and do not want to buy something as short as Mirror's Edge."

I liked the review

And I liked the game :]

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