Zero Punctuation: Mirror's Edge

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NewClassic:

Neither "condescending" nor "smart ass" are properties one would normally like attributed to their names, factual or not. Why bother being so contrary just to be contrary. Ask them to correct their facts, not call them idiots for getting them wrong. If they don't change them despite future knowledge, then they are fools. Not before. Everyone is wrong sometimes.

As a matter a fact, a brief glance over of the Wiki page seemed to say that EA Acquired DICE, changing them to the "EA DICE" we have today, but mentions nothing of EA's role in production.

The safe assumption is that it was simply a named sub-company, but still maintained their previous development practices, which is to say DICE would have created Mirror's Edge the same way then as they have now.

I don't call them idiots because they are wrong. There is nothing wrong with being wrong once in a while and I don't expect people to check the facts before posting something out of the back of their heads. I can even stand dickheads when they can afford it (my favorite show is House and Yahtzee falls under this category too somehow). However, when someone thinks he can glorify his lack of factual knowledge by being a dick, there is neither room nor patience left in me to be nice. In fact, it would be a waste of time as any further dialog would leave me frightened of stupidity poisoning.

As for the EA thing: EA DICE is a 100% subsidiary. It really doesn't matter if they still produce the game how they used to in the 90's or joined the galley slave model of EA SPORTS, it is still an EA game, financed by EA resources, dictated by EA suits and developed by EA developers. All of EA's games are produced by subsidiaries and very few (only the sport games afaik) are produced by the original EA "life stock"

So yes, EA DICE is the developer and it is a DICE game. But since DICE is a full part of EA (not just a developer-publisher relationship or minority stockholder one) it IS also and foremost an EA game.

Gormers1:

Angrywyvern:

Hamster at Dawn:
I'd been wondering if this game was any good. I now know I haven't been missing much. Not surprising coming from EA.
Anyone else notice the typo at the end, 'Pubic Enemy Number One'?

I think he meant that as a joke, you know? Your crotch?

I too was wondering whether this game would meet my standards, so now I know, it doesn't. I think that Yahtzee's negativity can actually be believed here though, because he seemed to hate it more than most other games.

Good Job.

Tell me about your standards. Can you categorize your games to how much they fulfill your standards?

My apologies for getting involved in this ahead of time. I'm not the type of person whom likes to argue about "standards" for what makes a good game or a bad game but in a way I admit I can be like Croshaw with my unusually high standards as far as gaming.

I'll randomly pick 5 games I thought were great and then do 5 that I thought stunk to balance it out so we can see that not everyone has the same standards here.

Good Games
-----------

1. Peggle - Yes I know its a Pop Cap game and there for extremely simplistic, but it has a level of immersion that is like some anime-style "MUMORPGUERS" that I played(Fiesta comes to mind) and its cute characters and maddening levels(not to mention the urge to try and get 100 percent on a level) makes that game a staple for me.

2. Bioshock - OK I youtubed the endings, but I got choked up from watching to good ending and now am doing all I can to rescue all the "Little Sisters(not to mention find all the audio diaries and research all the splicers) because I want to experience all the the game and that I can + plus I once started playing the game at Midnight and lost track of time till I looked at my bedroom clock to realize it was 2:30 in the morning

3. Dragon Quest(Any of them) - Is it a JRPG? Yes ,but honestly its a game that has been a part of my childhood since I watched my dad play the games. I got hooked on the games and started trying to complete all the ones I own and have now completed the first game and the fourth(which is in my personal "Hall of Fame") and they are games that have made me WANT to complete them. Not an easy task considering sometimes my attention span on games is crap!

4. The NHL Series - Only EA games I own in my library right now until NCAA '09! I admit that I didn't start getting interested in them again until recently but I can thank the NHL Network carrying "Hockey Night in Canada" and me getting to hear the announcer of the NHL series, Jim Hughson, on the broadcasts. There's a passion that he has for hockey that I think some NFL announcers don't, but that's another thread entirely.

5. Puzzle Quest - *Shrug* Maybe I just enjoy odd games but this is one of the oddest blends I found in gaming when I saw puzzles and RPG elements put together. They are done extremely well in my opinion and I enjoy the game immensely because it, much like Peggle, Bioshock, and the DQ series all have a level of immersion that I don't find in many games these days

Ugh...now for the "Bad" list

"Bad games"
---------------------

1. HALO - This game falls into a problem in that as FPS' go it has to meet my unusually high standards and all I had to do was go through the first level and shut the game off before I said "No". Forgive me but I think the whole "person in armoured suit fighting alien life forms" have been done before...yeah it did and it was called "Metroid" and even that series jumped the shark after "Super Metroid". At least in that game if you beat it in under 3 hours(Good luck) you have the promise of seeing Samus without her spacesuit. What happens in HALO? As far as I know nothing because no one mentioned anything to me about the ending.

2. Resident Evil: Survivor - OK this one is because a friend of mine had it and beat the damn thing...in under an hour! What was CAPCOM trying to accomplish with this series? "OK let's make a rail shooter that is so stupid your mum could beat it with her eyes closed and still cooking dinner?" G-AWD that was bad!!!

3. Escape from Cyber City - OK this was an odd one because it was an Anime FPS game that appeared on the Phillips CD-I(Anyone else remember that) and its difficulty stunk something bad because while "Survivor" was piss easy this was "throw controller against the wall" hard! I never got far enough in the game to see the ending and if anyone ever completed the game God Bless

4. Madden - Honestly 3 years ago this game would have been in the "Good" category, but the problem is in my personal opinion the series needs to die and die soon. The good thing for someone like Yahtzee is he lives in Australia so he doesn't have to worry about getting beat to death with the game but we do!(P. S. Anyone know if there's a region free cricket game I can import?)

5. Wall Street Kid - An old NES game that was about stocks...'Nuff said

I needed a good laugh.

Thank you Mr. Croshaw

I never really liked the trailor and did not buy it as it looked easy. Each to there own oppinion though if you have the game and like then thats you but that is not me.

Good review. Glad you managed to point out the more obvious good points.

I'm rather surprised no-one's mentioned this, but Leigh Alexander commented on how we shouldn't fault Mirror's Edge for trying in some areas, just because it failed in others (inspired by this Guardian article).

I myself will not play the game until it comes out on PC (if my rig can handle it...), but I will not dismiss it out of hand.

Amisbro:
I'll randomly pick 5 games I thought were great and then do 5 that I thought stunk to balance it out so we can see that not everyone has the same standards here.

Good Games
-----------

1. Peggle - Yes I know its a Pop Cap game and there for extremely simplistic, but it has a level of immersion that is like some anime-style "MUMORPGUERS" that I played(Fiesta comes to mind) and its cute characters and maddening levels(not to mention the urge to try and get 100 percent on a level) makes that game a staple for me.

2. Bioshock - OK I youtubed the endings, but I got choked up from watching to good ending and now am doing all I can to rescue all the "Little Sisters(not to mention find all the audio diaries and research all the splicers) because I want to experience all the the game and that I can + plus I once started playing the game at Midnight and lost track of time till I looked at my bedroom clock to realize it was 2:30 in the morning

3. Dragon Quest(Any of them) - Is it a JRPG? Yes ,but honestly its a game that has been a part of my childhood since I watched my dad play the games. I got hooked on the games and started trying to complete all the ones I own and have now completed the first game and the fourth(which is in my personal "Hall of Fame") and they are games that have made me WANT to complete them. Not an easy task considering sometimes my attention span on games is crap!

4. The NHL Series - Only EA games I own in my library right now until NCAA '09! I admit that I didn't start getting interested in them again until recently but I can thank the NHL Network carrying "Hockey Night in Canada" and me getting to hear the announcer of the NHL series, Jim Hughson, on the broadcasts. There's a passion that he has for hockey that I think some NFL announcers don't, but that's another thread entirely.

5. Puzzle Quest - *Shrug* Maybe I just enjoy odd games but this is one of the oddest blends I found in gaming when I saw puzzles and RPG elements put together. They are done extremely well in my opinion and I enjoy the game immensely because it, much like Peggle, Bioshock, and the DQ series all have a level of immersion that I don't find in many games these days

"Bad games"
---------------------

1. HALO - This game falls into a problem in that as FPS' go it has to meet my unusually high standards and all I had to do was go through the first level and shut the game off before I said "No". Forgive me but I think the whole "person in armoured suit fighting alien life forms" have been done before...yeah it did and it was called "Metroid" and even that series jumped the shark after "Super Metroid". At least in that game if you beat it in under 3 hours(Good luck) you have the promise of seeing Samus without her spacesuit. What happens in HALO? As far as I know nothing because no one mentioned anything to me about the ending.

2. Resident Evil: Survivor - OK this one is because a friend of mine had it and beat the damn thing...in under an hour! What was CAPCOM trying to accomplish with this series? "OK let's make a rail shooter that is so stupid your mum could beat it with her eyes closed and still cooking dinner?" G-AWD that was bad!!!

3. Escape from Cyber City - OK this was an odd one because it was an Anime FPS game that appeared on the Phillips CD-I(Anyone else remember that) and its difficulty stunk something bad because while "Survivor" was piss easy this was "throw controller against the wall" hard! I never got far enough in the game to see the ending and if anyone ever completed the game God Bless

4. Madden - Honestly 3 years ago this game would have been in the "Good" category, but the problem is in my personal opinion the series needs to die and die soon. The good thing for someone like Yahtzee is he lives in Australia so he doesn't have to worry about getting beat to death with the game but we do!(P. S. Anyone know if there's a region free cricket game I can import?)

5. Wall Street Kid - An old NES game that was about stocks...'Nuff said

The Good:

1. Peggle - Agreed: I'm all about immersion in a game, and if peggle gives you that wondrous feeling, then more power to you, by and at large. That would make it a good game.

2. Bioshock - Disagree: But for reasoning alone. While you mention immersion and story-telling here, I'm going to have to say you're playing for the wrong reasons. The adage "Life isn't about the commencement, nor the destination, but rather the journey." If a game is fun, even if the story is monstrous, then good freakin' job. Especially with gameplay-centric games like FPS titles or sports games. Don't love a game just for the narrative, because the narrative alone can't make a game good.

3. Dragon Quest - Disagree: Nostalgia is a bad reason to like a game. If you can go back and play the game and still love it, like I do with Earthbound, then more power to you. But remembering times of yore as modern marvels isn't a reason to peg a game as good. You don't mention gameplay, all you mention is memories. That alone will not make a game good, especially not by my standards.

4. NHL Series - ???: Never played, don't intend to. Unsure of how to respond to "fan of the game because of the concept" that I get from your post, though.

5. Puzzle Quest - Agree: While immersion is important, it can't make a game. You mention the game itself (I'm assuming gameplay here) is enjoyable, so that makes it work for me.

The Bad:

1. Halo - Disagree: A game isn't it's story. If you wanted to review the HALO novels, then we could talk a different story. But HALO is a formulaic FPS that picked a good formula. It's the Quadratic Equation of FPS games, and it did it well. Despite that "space armor fighting space aliens" is a trope older than me, it's still a fun game. The story is interesting, if you look at events rather than facades, and it's still a fun game. The story simply cannot be all there is to a game, unless it's very specifically geared toward the narrative. (Which only really applies to point-and-clicks and visual novels.)

2. RE: Survivor - Disagree: Aside from occasional issues, games like Earthbound and Final Fantasy IX are easy. They're still fun, though. Just 'cause it's easy doesn't mean it's boring.

3. Escape from Cyber City - Disagree: While games like "I Want To Be The Guy" make their only gameplay features the "trial-and-error" difficulty, a game that is hard shouldn't be the only factor that makes it "not fun." I personally loved the game Insect Princess, despite the fact that the game is genuinely controller-snappingly hard.

4. Madden - Disagree: While the formulaic nature of the games is annoying as hell, that shouldn't make the games themselves bad. (By your assumption) Assuming you randomly pick up a game like Madden '02, it'll be fun. If you pick up just Madden '05, it'll be fun. Once again for '08. I don't see why the fact that they're same-y should make the games less fun as individuals. If the sequal-tastic nature of the games bothers you, don't buy the sequels, stick to the one you liked, even if it's over 3 years old.

5. Wall Street Kid - Disagree: Not enough said.

I liked the demo.

Of course now I can't trust Yahtzee's reviews any more and now must only watch for comedic reasons.

Enjoyed the review. I enjoyed mirror's edge too. at least the first half.. what the hell was with all the forced combat at the end? made me very sad.

As great as the review was, I still love Mirrors Edge for being something other than a Halo or GTA clone

You can't see your feet in TF2 does this make the scout impossible? Wait no you're a moron. Also it was explained somewhere (since uh I heard it) that you're delivering messages.

As for good games with increasingly large numbered titles, look at Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix. One of the best fighting games ever. Sure its both a fighting game, and mostly a fan game, but its better because of it.

I thought the platforming worked rather well, myself. Most of my (many many many) deaths came at the hands of the police because I'm a wussy and didn't want to shoot at them. Maybe my instincts are just good, but I thought DICE proportioned Faith's running quite well, so much so that I could back up from a ledge and very accurately estimate how much of a distance I'd need to make the leap AND take my last step just before the downward oblivion.

I just think there was way too much emphasis on running away from enemies in the later stages of the game. It was nicely spaced during the first few levels, but after the Subway it got a bit too much to constantly have to fight or run, instead of... platform?

LOL knowing yahtzee that probably wasnt a typo :P

I'm going to be getting it for christmas so it should'nt be too disapointing (i spent no money), I think the story is going to redeem it in the next two though. I loved the demo and can't wait to play teh full game but 6 hours seems pretty weak for a game that's already going to be a trilogy. (Hear that? that's the sound of us gamers being spanked into submission by EA).

When I first saw the review was Mirror's Edge I just about nerdgasmed but now I feel like all my hope and dreams have been shattered.
Oh well I'm still going to buy it, and if I suck at it as much as I suck at all other first person games then I'll end up agreeing with you on everything.
I just happen to be weird that way ... and a loser.
Great review as always.
(Please review World of Warcraft sometime I think it would be great to see, whether you praise it or bash it into a thousand peices).

Musimo:

JimbobDa3rd:
so i was on the AOL home page the other day

Campin:
wewt love this game

Vampiric Puppet:
very funny

brazuca:
Uhm... So it comes around 15:00 hours here in brazil. I'll see this review. Please make the next one Farcry2 or Left 4 Dead.

Vicare:
That was HILARIOUS

Hamster at Dawn:
I'd been wondering if this game was any good. Thanks for the review.

flaming_squirrel:
Thought the demo was a bit 'meh'

Do you people really need to post before you even watch the freaking video?

That happens a lot. The first half dozen posters are banned, as always, generally because they just post early hoping to be FIRST!!!!1

They all posted barely a minute after the video was up - why would they do that?

I would say it deponds on the perspective of the player if its a Mario addictit who has Donkey Kong arcade to Super Mario Galaxy then they would probably like it. If it were an FPS addict who likes blasting peoples head so much they he's doesn't care whether there on his team or not.

fish food carl:

Musimo:

JimbobDa3rd:
so i was on the AOL home page the other day

Campin:
wewt love this game

Vampiric Puppet:
very funny

brazuca:
Uhm... So it comes around 15:00 hours here in brazil. I'll see this review. Please make the next one Farcry2 or Left 4 Dead.

Vicare:
That was HILARIOUS

Hamster at Dawn:
I'd been wondering if this game was any good. Thanks for the review.

flaming_squirrel:
Thought the demo was a bit 'meh'

Do you people really need to post before you even watch the freaking video?

That happens a lot. The first half dozen posters are banned, as always, generally because they just post early hoping to be FIRST!!!!1

They all posted barely a minute after the video was up - why would they do that?

I wonder if the ban has anything to do with the content instead of the post timing? Like, for example, if I wrote a full rant for the game the day before (based on the preview on the day before's Escapist Show's ZP Preview), and posted an epic rant as the first comment before the full length of the video has elapsed... Would I be banned?

Hrm...

I cannot imagine it was THAT bad, I mean it must have had something going for it, even just one thing. But seriously, review Gears 2 or little big planet now.

You know, I always knew EA where just talking out of their arses when they said this would be awsome. Good review. I would feel simpathetic for you but your too much of an asshole for me to care. Sorry.

I loved the game... sure it's short in story mode but trying to find fastest path (which may not be the way you would go when playing it in story mode) for the time trials and speed runs add to replayability. In addition the pacing of the gameplay makes it quite a ride despite the length and I wound up far more impressed with this game than many twice as long.

Not saying it's perfect but it's pretty damn good IMO - always love Yahtzee's reviews though, even when I disagree they're so great to watch!

I loved the game... sure it's short in story mode but trying to find fastest path (which may not be the way you would go when playing it in story mode) for the time trials and speed runs add to replayability. In addition the pacing of the gameplay makes it quite a ride despite the length and I wound up far more impressed with this game than many twice as long.

Not saying it's perfect but it's pretty damn good IMO - always love Yahtzee's reviews though, even when I disagree they're so great to watch!

Great review, although I'll admit the slide-show advertising at the beginning pissed me off (it would be better just to put the damned commercial there -- I had no idea how long I'd be staring at that still-frame). I like the point about the fact that experiments are good, even if they fail. It made me think.

You know something that has been disappointing of late is that honestly the reviews while still kinda cool, are definately begining to loose their edge.

I think mostly in part that they are no longer rants, but quite obvious panderings to the masses who seem to keep responding with "you slating that game means it's funnier"; which is a shame.

Do you remember your original Fable review? Maybe you recall the even better reviews you did for the Heavenly Sword(s) and Darkness?

You know what was better about those reviews, it wasn't that you were smacking the games around like they were your bitch; but that you imaginatively took a simple every day annoyance like say running face first into an invisible wall; then truely taking the piss out of the solution to your original problem.

That's what was funny about the reviews. It isn't the outright attack of a game, but that you could creatively take issues that we ALL experienced to come up with an entertaining interpretation. Stop sucking the cocks of the fans who just like you ripping apart games with a chainsaw like you have been of late, and dust off that precision slice'n'dice set you have to make some good reviews again.

There were a number of issues in Mirror's Edge, and yeah you tap on a few but rather than beautifully beating it around so it's not quite sure if it should be amuzed or hurt you're simply bludgeoning them with the closest blunt object.

I don't believe for a second that you hated Dead Space as much as you claimed to, seriously.. time and time again while you've ripped into Silent Hill and Resident Evil-Series games; it never felt like a straight forward and such contrived attack before.

Same with Mirror's Edge and Fable 2.. I find it very difficult to believe that you honestly hated these games so much that you couldn't say one.... ONE... fucking good thing about them.
Still whatever, eh. This current style fills helps bolster the number of people who might not quite get your true rambolic style.

beddo:
I disagree with most of Yahtzee's review. I thought the game was good, flawed but good. It was thoroughly entertaining all the way through. It's a bit like watching an action flick.

True. I think Yahtzee is just pissed off because he is frusterated by playing a trial-and-error game. I don't really enjoy platformers, except 2D Mario games, the first three Spyro's, and Sly Cooper, and I still enjoyed Mirror's Edge even with the higher level of realism, and the first person perspective.

The parkour moves were actually not bad, but in general this games pretty much sucked balls.
The whole thing felt more like a tech demo/proof of concept, than a proper game... a very expensive tech demo :/

Anyway, i hope your next review will be Left4Dead.
The game received very good scores on various sites, but if you take it apart, the game has absolutely nothing to offer, except very linear and arcadey zombie killing fun.
Dont get me wrong, I love the game, but its nothing what i expected it to be, or how it was advertised (there supposed to be a story & etc)... Well cu the next Wednesday ^^

This game was indeed short, glad I spent my money on Animal Crossing and Guitar Hero World Tour

that was hilarious ...... i think i pissed my pants a little.....im gonna watch it again

game sucked, review sucked... better luck next time yahtzee

bibblles:
I cannot imagine it was THAT bad, I mean it must have had something going for it, even just one thing. But seriously, review Gears 2 or little big planet now.

No dude. It's that bad. Not worth 60 bucks. More like $30, hell at a clearance price instead.

Juan Regular:

But still a great review. The "ate his own shoe" part made me spill my beer.

Likewise. Curry and chips everywhere.

Safe-Keeper:
Gulp. I love Mirror's Edge. Dare I watch this?

If one's man review completely changes your opinion about a game you "love" then I doubt you loved it as much as you proclaim. It's just a review, not a fact. :3

Yahtzee should defintiely do Gears of War 2, Little Big Planet, Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories, or Farcry 2 as his next reviews.

There's still hope with the PC version coming next year.

Mass Effect PC fixed the issues Yahtz had with the 360 version. Yeah, DICE is no Bioware, but still.

Gamer137:

beddo:
I disagree with most of Yahtzee's review. I thought the game was good, flawed but good. It was thoroughly entertaining all the way through. It's a bit like watching an action flick.

True. I think Yahtzee is just pissed off because he is frusterated by playing a trial-and-error game. I don't really enjoy platformers, except 2D Mario games, the first three Spyro's, and Sly Cooper, and I still enjoyed Mirror's Edge even with the higher level of realism, and the first person perspective.

Agreed. I don't see why so many people are not going to play ME now because Yahtzee said so, it's rather sad. Yes the game was short, it didn't bother me at all. There's TONNES of replay value in it and I'm still trying to do the speed runs

Okay, the story copuld've been more detailed, but that would've been BORIIIIIIIIIIIIING! The game is about speed and being fast, and its not gonna stand still for ages to tell us our motivations and back stories and yadda yadda yadda. Seriously, sometimes story kills the game (Assassins Creed, I have it and will never finish it because they talk. And talk. And talk. Then I stab Ahkmed bin Jannah in the face. Then they talk. And talk. And talk.)

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