180: When I was a Sex Goddess

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When I was a Sex Goddess

Some online conquests earn you loot. Others just earn you baggage. Amanda Yesilbas looks back at her time spent roleplaying a virtual temptress.

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A very interesting story, and one I'm familiar enough with given 15+ years I've been texting around, and still do to this day. I'm glad to see someone else who thinks, as I do, that there are still no graphics that are as compelling as well-written text, even though I'm one of those MMO players you mentioned.

I'd have been a total sucker for your dryad in a cabin trick. That's so mean!

I just have to say this: Text can indeed be very arousing, as long as you do it with the right person.

With that said, I shall speak no more on this.

"Amanda Yesilbas is a librarian by trade and gamer by calling."

Out of all the things in the article, this hit me the hardest.

I know your story well Mrs. Yesilbas. Everything from humble beginnings in MUDs to if RPing sex is cheating or not, to giving into ones desires. Even your feelings on Text is much better then graphics when it comes to painting a detailed image.

I still play to this day, in both MUDs and Graphical MMOs. I hold myself to a higher standard calling my years of training at detailed RPing text 'classically trained text RPer'. One such MMOG I play in now a days is Second Life. I thought to myself that this would be a perfect platform to RP on. Not only is everything fully customizable, and what you can't make you can buy, but for the simple fact you can literally be any thing and completely anatomically correct... or incorrect. They even have pose balls that will put you into different sexual positions that make the Kama sutra seem like light reading.

However I came to realize that, while pose balls are fine an all for something to look at while your partner is typing up a nice long detailed pose, filled with details that excite and stimulate all the different sense, that a majority of the folks in SL are not Roleplayers and further more couldn't type a detailed sexual pose if one was typed up and handed to them by someone else. They are content to watch the pixels go at it on the screen on the pose ball and throw out the occasional 'Ooooh' Or 'Ahhh'. The whole thing is rather disheartening.

That's why I have taken it upon myself to teach and train a younger generation of gamers the wonders of painting a detailed picture with text and letting the Graphics simply be a fun thing to watch while waiting in anticipation for the next stimulating post! I have shown others just how fun text can be and at the end of the scene, I have the ability to leave my partners breathless both in and out of game, saying OOCly (Out of character-ly) 'Wow! I never knew a scene could be this intense and enjoyable!' I simply tell them that with practice and effort they can do it to! I'm hoping this will have a viral effect, sending them off into vast cyber space expecting nay demanding better but also ups their game to strive to present themselves as better as well.

I hope that our art of painting a detailed picture of text to RP will not die out as games tend to take a lot of the imagination away from RPing, and with each new person I expose to the old ways, I have a little more hope for the future!

Its funny how some things start. I, personally, am enthralled by how people think about and handle sex. I used to do all of the things Amanda did, save mix some of my games with sex. It does become a slippery slop. Eventually text, no matter how good, isn't good enough. It can get you excited and ready, but not really feel as though it delivers with the same impact it used to. This is compounded by the fact that some people are just better to play with than others, and after having a good partner others just don't seem as good. Once you move beyond text it can become extremely scary as well. Who is seeing what your showing, what will they think, and most importantly, what will they do with what you show them? And that becomes part of the thrill, if you plan on not becoming a politician or something.

Standard avatars can never be as good as text, but take it from me, be careful if words start seeming like they are not enough.

Mariena:
I just have to say this: Text can indeed be very arousing, as long as you do it with the right person.

With that said, I shall speak no more on this.

I will agree wholeheartedly.

Just be very careful of those mis-tells. :)

A very well-written and very true article about the power of text to arouse and ensnare.

Even with the ever-increasing visual power that exists in such MMO environments, it's still the text that tells the stories and brings us back to our computer desks every night.

I agree whole-heartedly about this being very well written and very accurate of the old MUD or even Free-form RPGs from IRC. It was one of those things that I was always excited by back when I used to MUD, but I was still young and mildly innocent and the whole subject was taboo.

Instead of sexuality, I got bored with the 'everybody's a hero' lifestyle and looked to the other field. The antagonists were generally bad for the sake of sadism and I wanted actual character development, so I began to rationalize evil behavior. It's one of the reasons I love writing today with heroes never being officially 'good' people and villains always having plausible reasons for their behavior.

I never could roleplay on MUDs. To me, it felt like trying to roleplay while playing, say, Doom or Quake. I was just stuck in the mindest of "must level up" and didn't pay that much attention to anything else. But other formats like TinyMUSH/MUX, now you're talking. They normally had a very detailed background, and roleplaying was pretty much the only thing to do.

I'm sorry to say, though, I usually found myself very annoyed at people that were blatantly seducing people left and right. I probably would have made fun of you, or not thought much of you. To be fair, I'm often rather mean-spirited when involved in that kind of game, or at the very least facetious and mocking, and I have to consciously go out of my way to "play nice."

This is the kind of article that I just don't see on other sites, well done. Never read anything from you before, but I certainly think it takes something to put your name to something that some people could see as embaressing. Good work.

A very fascinating look at sexuality and self exploration. It's nice to know one CAN explore their romantic selves through an online setting and turn out completly normal and not...y'know, some kinda twitchy pale freak.

My own online romances tended to be through NWN, roleplaying characters. Many times both of us were aware that we were infact, both dudes in real life, and many times I was playing the female! Betrayels and relationship crisis all felt real and hurt, though it sounds strange to admit it. Incidentally one of the sweetest i'd ever been involved with was one where we were both dudes and I was playing the male character for a change. People actually thought we were a couple in real life. Eventually her story killed the character off, leading to new development for mine who had to deal with his loss.

BadXAsh:
I know your story well Mrs. Yesilbas. Everything from humble beginnings in MUDs to if RPing sex is cheating or not, to giving into ones desires. Even your feelings on Text is much better then graphics when it comes to painting a detailed image.

I still play to this day, in both MUDs and Graphical MMOs. I hold myself to a higher standard calling my years of training at detailed RPing text 'classically trained text RPer'. One such MMOG I play in now a days is Second Life. I thought to myself that this would be a perfect platform to RP on. Not only is everything fully customizable, and what you can't make you can buy, but for the simple fact you can literally be any thing and completely anatomically correct... or incorrect. They even have pose balls that will put you into different sexual positions that make the Kama sutra seem like light reading.

However I came to realize that, while pose balls are fine an all for something to look at while your partner is typing up a nice long detailed pose, filled with details that excite and stimulate all the different sense, that a majority of the folks in SL are not Roleplayers and further more couldn't type a detailed sexual pose if one was typed up and handed to them by someone else. They are content to watch the pixels go at it on the screen on the pose ball and throw out the occasional 'Ooooh' Or 'Ahhh'. The whole thing is rather disheartening.

That's why I have taken it upon myself to teach and train a younger generation of gamers the wonders of painting a detailed picture with text and letting the Graphics simply be a fun thing to watch while waiting in anticipation for the next stimulating post! I have shown others just how fun text can be and at the end of the scene, I have the ability to leave my partners breathless both in and out of game, saying OOCly (Out of character-ly) 'Wow! I never knew a scene could be this intense and enjoyable!' I simply tell them that with practice and effort they can do it to! I'm hoping this will have a viral effect, sending them off into vast cyber space expecting nay demanding better but also ups their game to strive to present themselves as better as well.

I hope that our art of painting a detailed picture of text to RP will not die out as games tend to take a lot of the imagination away from RPing, and with each new person I expose to the old ways, I have a little more hope for the future!

A perfect example of leave em better than you got em!

Brilliant, and now you need to write books based on your adventures, even though you don't do that anymore. Exploring sexuality in games/fantasy is always interesting, because it's different depending on the person. Great read!

role playing eroticism in MUDs is how i learned to type at more then three words a minuet. (and a few other things I'll not mention here) Now if only i wasn't to distracted to learn how to spell. Thank you little red line and thank you Amanda for that fun romp down memory lane.

I wish modern online game masters would do that :(

is there anything like this still out there? would anyone post a link if there was?

Edit : that sounds a bit wrong, but i havn't been on the internet for very long and this kind of thing sounds like it could be fun t try out, I love to write short stories etc. and think that the idea of an MUD sounds quite fun, all sex aside

I greatly enjoyed this story. I've been thinking about getting into this sort of thing for a bit now and can't really decide whether or not to do it. I'll meet people online and then worry about the predator aspect of it and all of that... I obviously (to me at least), can't keep, let alone find, someone outside of the internet. I guess it's a good thing that I haven't acted upon any of these compulsions I get. They probably wouldn't turn out too well now that I see what some people do to others lol.

To the poster above me, try Valheru.com. It used to be up, I haven't checked in a looong while.

Mariena:
I just have to say this: Text can indeed be very arousing, as long as you do it with the right person.

With that said, I shall speak no more on this.

They say there is no image, no moving picture that can compete with the theatre of the mind.

And... well, I'mma shut up now.

interesting article

4-5 stars

I'd like to say first that I am very impressed with your ability to mold words. I'm sure those hapless players that fell into your dryad's trap found themselves in a situation unmatched in thier gaming career.

This article is particularly interesting to me because I am extremely interested in the effect words can have on people. I often feel that, if crafted properly, a few words can have an equal or sometimes more powerful effect on a person than a tactile sensation. I'm happy to see people that haven't forgotten that they have senses other than sight.

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. It was very interesting. Hope to see more of your work some time. : D

I used to play a MUD called Adventures in Ancient Wisdom (AAW) as a character named (surprise, surprise) Wolverine, Monk/Cleric, and well, the thing I find most interesting about your article is that I didn't really encounter cybering, though there was a lot of role playing, so I did see other characters get involved in relationships and marriages. Heh, kinda funny now thinking about it, how its like my character took a vow of chastity when I am anything but in real life. Man, role playing is all kinds of fun.

ckeymel:
A perfect example of leave em better than you got em!

*Bows* Thank you, that's exactly how I like to look at it!

Very romantic way to meet your husband. If you ignore the fact that it occurred in a text-based game of roleplaying, it has a bit of a Greek flavor to it. I'd put some florid description here, but I think I've lost enough man-cards today.

Hmm. I never got into MUDs and RPing, though in retrospect I did have a whirlwind romance where both of us were playing fantasy. It spilled over into real life in delightful fashion (we were both single and looking for love at the time anyway) but when the reality set in we eventually had to call it off.

Still, it formed a very strong intellectual attachment between us and our friendship holds to this day. When it's text, the words are coming straight from another. That forms part of the quality that separates it from images.

I fist online RP "text sext" (as my friends would mock call it) when I was 13. I was immature and didn't know what I was doing, it was a joke at first. I built a relationship, married, and "honeymooned" with a female character in one day. I laughed the whole time.
But a few years later I started doing it again. But I was serious this time. I built an actual relationship between our characters. I only rarely had sexual exploits, and only after RPing the relationship for awhile.
Now that I have a serious relationship in real life, I RP romances less and less. I build them up with my characters online, but don't get sexual (and I often explain this too the other partner). It's too many emotions running through my head, it feels like cheating.

I understand that others can do this even though they have RL relationships, and this article has helped shed light onto why.

Haha, should also mention that my girlfriends last relationship was met through a MUD. The guy was really sweet online, and they met. He was similar to his RP character at first, but after they started dating he became a real jerk (oh, and was 4 years older than her too).
Just a warning to be careful when meeting people from online (but I'm sure everyone is mature enough about that.)

No one has ever hit on me online or in real life. What am I doing wrong? should I play as a dark elf on WAR?

Sewblon:
No one has ever hit on me online or in real life. What am I doing wrong? should I play as a dark elf on WAR?

Honestly, I have no idea why sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. I had a friend over at my house for a solid week, and one day when he was out I had a girl I was kind of in the process of dating over. She played a really old free MMO that I had never heard of, and wanted to try World of Warcraft. I called up my friend and he allowed her to make a character on his account so I could create a new character with her. When we were choosing realms, I made a joke about how we'd just get hit on a lot on an RP server, and she laughed and was like "let's play a game then. Let's level up individually in different zones, and we'll see who gets hit on more." It felt awkward, but she convinced me into it. My now level 51 Shadow Priest Night Elf named Strawberry was born.

By the time I was level ten, Strawberry had already been hit on at least a dozen times by various guys, and a high level character kept following her around giving her gold to dance in a seductive dress he gave her. My friend, who had created a rather attractive female human named AngelWing had been hit on about eight times. The fact that we both had so many within three hours of character creation shocked me, but the idea that having an attractive female avatar can actually get you ahead in the game (that weird pervert gave me twenty gold total, which was quite a bit for such a low level to have) shocked me even more. I enjoy playing a shadowpriest, so I have kept playing Strawberry from time to time, and she's gotten a free mount, many free runs through places when she was looking for a group, and a lot of free profession materials...my male warlock never received jack shit.

Unholykrumpet:

Sewblon:
No one has ever hit on me online or in real life. What am I doing wrong? should I play as a dark elf on WAR?

she's gotten a free mount, many free runs through places when she was looking for a group, and a lot of free profession materials...my male warlock never received jack shit.

I can relate to that. Happened to my friend when she made a character on my account. She has recieved more free stuff for simply being a female Nelf than any of my male characters.
Probably more than all of them together to be honest.

To the article: I can also relate. I'm currently playing on a popular browser-based MMORPG.

I've seen alot of people live out romance stories, and even gained myself a bit of a reputation for favouring romance.

Hm, I know some funny old stuff when it comes to gender and sexual roleplay.

My bf and I play on MMO's together. However, I often play male avatars, he likes female avatars (no particular reasons). Sometimes people get to know we are a couple, but they always make the wrong guess on who is who.

I have played on roleplay servers of neverwinter nights. There was a no cybering rule. Didn't stop people from doing it in the weirdest of places. Dungeonmasters often found such couples in crypts and forests...but the funny part is; people undress, so they don't wear their powerful gear anymore. All you need to do as dungeon master is spawn some monsters.
On another occasion, a dungeon master discovered a couple going at it, and alarmed the complete DM team and told them to log on. Avatars are invisble to players. They made screenshots of the couple, with all the DM avatars around it, who emoted things such as eating popcorn and passing along the cola.

Also, I have seen people at a rl meeting of this community who planned their character weddings...that is...2 guys sitting together to plan their characters wedding. It was kinda sweet actually.

Weirdest thing ever; My male character got a romance with a female character...who was played by a male. But it was actually the most fun roleplay relation I ever had

To this day, I have yet to find any modern MMO that felt as magical as the MUD I got sucked into in the late 90's early naughties. For good or for ill, roleplaying seemed to just *occur* there, rather than having to creating a perserve whereing the endangered species could survive..

Chilango2:
To this day, I have yet to find any modern MMO that felt as magical as the MUD I got sucked into in the late 90's early naughties. For good or for ill, roleplaying seemed to just *occur* there, rather than having to creating a perserve whereing the endangered species could survive..

That is because MUDs required the player to use their imagination.

Greyhawk:

That is because MUDs required the player to use their imagination.

I think that's true to an extent, but it was also because the mechanics of the game (Gemstone 3, to be specific, but these days its Gemstone 4 I hear) actually encouraged roleplay. Basically, when you killed a monster, you didn't get the experience right away, instead it went into an experience 'bucket' whcih then got *processed* at a steady rate of X per minute. You could only fill the 'bucket' to a certain point, after which you could absorb no more experience to process. So you'd head back to town, where there would be nodes where you would recover mana and health faster, as well as process experience faster. This encouraged in game communal gatherings, which in turn encouraged roleplay.

The final element was a GM presence that was serious about coming down hard on people who acted out of character in public. That alone would make things very different. It's honestly sad that in eveyr modern MMO I have played, the roleplaying rules are some sort of elaborate joke: they are practically never enforced, not even on a 'roleplay' server.

The white elephant in the room is that there are really very few people out there who have both the imagination AND the writing skill to pull off the kind of on-line relationship that Amanda is talking about. And, unfortunately, (and in spite of some of the earlier comments in this thread), I find that this is an awfully difficult thing to teach. Most people end up putting their foot in their mouth about 5 minutes into a conversation. That, plus our insatiable thirst for instant gratification (most people don't have the patience for long online conversations) accounts for the replacement of MUDs with graphical MMOs. The latter are simply addressing the needs of the vast majority of the general public.

The really interesting part of this article, at least to me, is not in the thought that text can be more expressive than graphics - I think most intelligent people already recognize that. What's more fascinating is the glimpse into the psychology of attraction - and how it translates into online communities. The bottom line, it seems, is that in the end, the difference of on-line vs. real-life becomes immaterial. In both cases you end up with a lot of duds before you meet someone you actually like, and in both cases that special someone can evoke real emotion and ultimately, real love. What's different is just the mechanics of the experience. Online, meeting new people is extremely easy, but establishing a relationship is much harder because you need extremely strong written communication skills. In real life, much more effort is required to actually meet people (you have to get yourself dressed, physically go to places and introduce yourself to people), but then establishing [an exploratory] relationship is much easier because you can use a much wider variety of communication mediums. So in the end, it's really two different paths to the same place. All roads lead to Rome, as they say.

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