Zero Punctuation: Sonic Unleashed

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ssgt splatter:

Kanashe:

ssgt splatter:

qwmn:

Kanashe:

ssgt splatter:
WHY WON'T SONIC DIE!!!!!!!!!!!! oh and great review

Great review my big fat hairy balls. This stuff just proved of what kind of hack Yahztee is, and proved on how many old school monkeys fill this goddamn forum

No need for a temper-tantrum.

Anyway, it's not really about the old school monkeys that fill this forum, it's mainly the ZP fanboys who'll agree and follow all of Yahtzee's reviews, no matter how biased they are.

One thing I find funny, though, is that someone once put this review up on Youtube (which later got deleted), and the video got a low rating and was filled with negative comments.

OK first, Kanashe, take a chill pill no need to go off half-cocked and second, qwmn, i'm not a Yahtzee fanboy, i just like his reviews cause they make me laugh. besides, you do have to admit he is right about SOME not ALL of the games he reviews

So far he's been right only bout three games: Halo3, Alone in the Dark 5 and Medal of Honor: Air Born. All othere's....Comeplet an utter bullshit. Ya know what, I don't care what he's fans will say, this guy isn't and never was a reviewer. A troll that goes on a bitch fest or over hype spree, yes. Reviewer, no fricking way

ok, that's you're opinion and i respect it...i still like his "reviews" though

Fine by me. I mean I don' like the guy, but I'm not gonna go against people who like him. I mean, I got better thin's to do than drop to this level

evidently more people get banned and suspended from the escapist forums on a ZP Related thread than any where else, mind you they did deserve it. honestly, who really deserves a say when all they do it "w00t ROFLMAO" or "that was funny" or my personal favourite "lol"? seriously, why?

on topic:
i must say that that was quite a well composed video review of sonic unleashed, apparently there was no mercy shown, but i, not being a fan of sonic, don't really now how much mercy should have been shown. oh well, good review all in all. :)

So which Sonic Unleashed did Yahtzee review? All he said doesn't really agree with the Wii version which is the better one. Though he included the wii cover in the video I really doubt that's the one he played. I don't remember any enemies healing themselves in the night levels which still sucked anyway, but the day ones were just awesome. There were no level (with the exception of the last one) that would kill you for missing a jump or not pressing something in time. The punishment for missing those jumps was just falling in an alternate route which would simply cost you a couple of seconds. You could basically beat all levels in your first try but normally only with a B or C score.

I honestly had never seen better level design in a Sonic game, pity that the night levels ruined everything.

But yeah, Yahtzee should really correct his mistake, that is of course if he did not play the Wii version as the video would lead you to believe.
This is honestly the first time I don't agree with one of his reviews as a whole.

kyou42:
So which Sonic Unleashed did Yahtzee review? All he said doesn't really agree with the Wii version which is the better one. Though he included the wii cover in the video I really doubt that's the one he played. I don't remember any enemies healing themselves in the night levels which still sucked anyway, but the day ones were just awesome. There were no level (with the exception of the last one) that would kill you for missing a jump or not pressing something in time. The punishment for missing those jumps was just falling in an alternate route which would simply cost you a couple of seconds. You could basically beat all levels in your first try but normally only with a B or C score.

I honestly had never seen better level design in a Sonic game, pity that the night levels ruined everything.

But yeah, Yahtzee should really correct his mistake, that is of course if he did not play the Wii version as the video would lead you to believe.
This is honestly the first time I don't agree with one of his reviews as a whole.

He used the cover from the Wii version while doin' the 360 version, wich was actually far more superior to the Wii, an well in all ways better.

Kanashe:

kyou42:
So which Sonic Unleashed did Yahtzee review? All he said doesn't really agree with the Wii version which is the better one. Though he included the wii cover in the video I really doubt that's the one he played. I don't remember any enemies healing themselves in the night levels which still sucked anyway, but the day ones were just awesome. There were no level (with the exception of the last one) that would kill you for missing a jump or not pressing something in time. The punishment for missing those jumps was just falling in an alternate route which would simply cost you a couple of seconds. You could basically beat all levels in your first try but normally only with a B or C score.

I honestly had never seen better level design in a Sonic game, pity that the night levels ruined everything.

But yeah, Yahtzee should really correct his mistake, that is of course if he did not play the Wii version as the video would lead you to believe.
This is honestly the first time I don't agree with one of his reviews as a whole.

He used the cover from the Wii version while doin' the 360 version, wich was actually far more superior to the Wii, an well in all ways better.

Not really. The 360 version is an unplayable mess when it comes to the day levels. The only reason it's more challenging is because, well, it's an unplayable mess!
Seriously, everything Yahtzee whined about was exclusively part of the 360/PS3 version. And it's not only him who says that, but all the other reviewers alike. I mean, for fuck's sake, the 360/PS3 version got a 3.5 on gamespot. That's exactly half of what the Wii version got.

The Wii version of Sonic unleashed is everything sonic is supposed to be: fun. Well, I'm only talking about the day levels though.

kyou42:

Kanashe:

kyou42:
So which Sonic Unleashed did Yahtzee review? All he said doesn't really agree with the Wii version which is the better one. Though he included the wii cover in the video I really doubt that's the one he played. I don't remember any enemies healing themselves in the night levels which still sucked anyway, but the day ones were just awesome. There were no level (with the exception of the last one) that would kill you for missing a jump or not pressing something in time. The punishment for missing those jumps was just falling in an alternate route which would simply cost you a couple of seconds. You could basically beat all levels in your first try but normally only with a B or C score.

I honestly had never seen better level design in a Sonic game, pity that the night levels ruined everything.

But yeah, Yahtzee should really correct his mistake, that is of course if he did not play the Wii version as the video would lead you to believe.
This is honestly the first time I don't agree with one of his reviews as a whole.

He used the cover from the Wii version while doin' the 360 version, wich was actually far more superior to the Wii, an well in all ways better.

Not really. The 360 version is an unplayable mess when it comes to the day levels. The only reason it's more challenging is because, well, it's an unplayable mess!
Seriously, everything Yahtzee whined about was exclusively part of the 360/PS3 version. And it's not only him who says that, but all the other reviewers alike. I mean, for fuck's sake, the 360/PS3 version got a 3.5 on gamespot. That's exactly half of what the Wii version got.

The Wii version of Sonic unleashed is everything sonic is supposed to be: fun. Well, I'm only talking about the day levels though.

Ya do know that gamespot like IGN is run byt a bunch of pricks and assholes who can't judge or even give a game a good score. They're the same pricks who overhypped such bullshit as Halo,a game that doesn' even deserve any good score. And well, I don' know bout ya or Yahtzee an all his douchebaggery, but I had fun with the 360 version more, and well I didn' run in to any glitches or problems. Say what ya want, but I had fun, but hey, you have your own opinion and I have my own

i Didnt think that all of sonic's 3-D games were bad, I liked sonic adventure 2, it was awesome

Sonic is bad.

End of story.

Yup, Sonic is finished, someone get the broom.

With all due respect to Yahtzee and all of his fans...

...this review...

Makes me laugh. But I disagree, and Sonic Unleashed has wormed its way up to ninth on my Top Ten Favorite Games of All Time list. I admit that's partly because I'm a shameless Sonic fanboy, but it's also because I find the game awesome during the day stages and the average-at-best Werehog levels weren't bad enough to dull that awesomeness (that and I never have to touch the things with a ten-foot-pole again now that I've actually beaten the game).

I didn't have half as much trouble on my first time through as Yahtzee seems to have, but that's primarily because I kept the presence of mind to not spam the boost button the whole way.

Admittedly the Day Stages have problems:
- Hyper-linearity: as opposed to the multi-tiered stages of the classics, these stages are locked on a single path with the only "multiple routes" being slight diversions or different ways down the same road.
- Not enough platforming: Sonic is a flipping platformer, but almost of the platforming is focused in the Night Stages and in the last level of the game, which is a disappointment for me because I'm a big platformer fan.
- Those isolated moments of crappiness: mostly in the extra levels, the pure, undiluted trial-and-error portions or bland design that even I can't excuse. I also found the main "Shamar" level quite "meh" overall.
- Physics!: They work fine most of the time, but when a six-year-old Egyptian boy halts 300 miles-per-hour worth of momentum without budging or twitching an inch, you have to question the logic of even needing a supersonic hedgehog to save the world in the first place (GOD DARNIT YAHTZEE YOU REALLY MISSED A TRICK BY NOT MENTIONING THAT!!)
- The enemies suck: bland, pointless pushovers... these aren't enemies, they're @#$%ing stepping stones for the Homing Attack!
- The dash pads: when you have a flipping BOOST BUTTON that you can SPAM all the time, WHY do you need all of the dash pads in the first place?

As a final note, I would like to say that Sonic in a 3D environment can and has in the past worked fine. Sonic Adventure's Sonic-stages, though glitchy, worked well enough and were a promising start. The only real problem there was the glitchiness that pervaded that rushed Dreamcast release. Sonic Adventure 2 was okay, but I don't hold it in as high regard as some others.

Unleashed is pretty good--underrated in the media, overrated by the fanboys, in my humblest of opinions. I have to admit, Yahtzee--the first time I saw this review, I was PO'd and thought it was crap.

I got my sense of humor back sometime between then and now, though, so I got a good laugh out of it.

It's all fun and games until you review a game that I like... ^_^'

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch you trash a game that I HATE! *runs off to watch the Prince of Persia '08 review*

nice...

great vid, that i randomly found. keep up the good work

You know that ROM hack designed by Hitler you were talking about? Well I found it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in6RZzdGki8

The aging rock star bit in the beginning is suddenly relevant again given the alleged details of David Carradine.

yahtzee should make fun of the crappy lyrics of the music in the 3D sonic games of today .........
.....along with the fact that steve urkel voiced sonic as a rockstar in one of the older shows.........................

after i saw this laugh to death video , i embarked on a journey to destroy all of my sonic games .............................not really

this is one of the first games i 100% disagree with Yahtzee on. Sonic Unleashed is actually a really good game, in my opinion. The Sonic levels bring back what sonic games should be about; fast moving, quick reflexes, and many routes to get the goal of a 2D level. I'l even admit, the Werehog levels are ripping off God of War, but i think they do it pretty well. the combat is fun, easy to learn, and non repetative. Although you did forget to mention that the werehog levels are TOTALLLY ripping off Prince of Persia with the constant pole jumping, grabbing, and swinging. Even though the werehog is unorinal, i cant help but like this game simply because of the sonic bits. it successfully brings back what sonic was and should be in the future.

Kailon791:
this is one of the first games i 100% disagree with Yahtzee on. Sonic Unleashed is actually a really good game, in my opinion. The Sonic levels bring back what sonic games should be about; fast moving, quick reflexes, and many routes to get the goal of a 2D level. I'l even admit, the Werehog levels are ripping off God of War, but i think they do it pretty well. the combat is fun, easy to learn, and non repetative. Although you did forget to mention that the werehog levels are TOTALLLY ripping off Prince of Persia with the constant pole jumping, grabbing, and swinging. Even though the werehog is unorinal, i cant help but like this game simply because of the sonic bits. it successfully brings back what sonic was and should be in the future.

Well, I was gonna say pretty much this. But I'll say it again anyway.

Enough of the bullshit saying that Yahtzee "isn't a reviewer". Reviewers give their opinions on whatever they're reviewing, and that's what the man does. Even through his highly critical style and numerous complaints about EVERYTHING, he still does make a point. All of his reviews, when you REALLY look at them, are true, and all of his critisisms hold water. Yes, Halo 3 is not the gaming equivilent of simultaneous orgasms, moral choice systems are horribly flawed, and JRPGs are...well, JRPGs.

However, his view on this game and one other (Mirror's Edge) I think are very very wrong. He talks of Sonic Unleashed like just playing it will give you cancer, but its not true. I'm not saying Sonic Unleashed is perfect, but some of the daytime stages were absolutely outstanding, and, in fact, the experience of Sonic in the day was far more enjoyable then almost all of Half-Life 2. The werehog bits were functional, but annoying, and that's where the game fails.

Anyone who was thinking about buying this game and was put off by this review, don't be. There is fun to be had in this game, especially now its been reduced in price a great deal. The day stages show that Sonic Team still know how to make games, and hopefully they'll learn that lesson when it comes to Sonic Unleashed 2.

I really hate it when people make fun of the stretchy arms thing, mainly because it's a game about a hedgehog that runs really fast. Granted, hedgehogs can run almost 30 MPH, I doubt many can break the sound barrier. Regardless, I guess I'll give the game a miss.

Funny video but a terrible review, i guess he was in a pissy mood when he reviewed SU, because it's an amazing game. The daytime sequences have great visuals and level design and they're not even hard to navigate your first time through

What sega should start doing is making remakes of the 16-bit games, with no story or gameplay changes, but just better graphics, and some bugfixes. I'm sad that sonic has got into this slump of crap games.

Cutman:
Funny video but a terrible review, i guess he was in a pissy mood when he reviewed SU, because it's an amazing game. The daytime sequences have great visuals and level design and they're not even hard to navigate your first time through

That or he had his finger glued on the goddamn boost button throughout the whole stage. Are we sure Yahtzee knows how to play these games?

What sega should start doing is making remakes of the 16-bit games, with no story or gameplay changes, but just better graphics, and some bugfixes. I'm sad that sonic has got into this slump of crap games.

No, no, fuck no. I've told plenty of people this before: SEGA always screws up Sonic. You can cry for them to make a new 2-D Sonic game in the style of the Genesis games but chances are, they'll fuck it up somehow and you're back to crying how Sonic is ruined again. There's a chart regarding this somewhere that details what I'm talking about. Be happy Sonic Unleashed turned out the way it did. You could've gotten much worse.

In case no one knew, Sonic Died in a tragic accident short after the Sega Genesis release of Sonic and Knuckles. This was all kept under raps by Sega, and Sonic Team, who managed to find a similarly blue hedgehog named "Spud's" who looked almost identical to Sonic in almost every way... other than the fact that Spud was a FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL!

Sonic Died, and Sonic Team needs to get over that! The pitiful attempts to reattain glory with piece o' crap games like Sonic unleashed does no one any good, except to have us old gamers who have a working Sega Genesis under our beds that on certain occasions we get out to relive the old days, playing sonic 1, 2, and 3, look down at him and shake our heads going, what the bloody hell happened to him? Sonic was so much better than Mario, he had a future, he could have been so much more! Instead he slowly died, leaving us with the piece o' spud that we have to deal with today. Sonic needs to be put down, he is DONE, of course we dont always get our way, if we did, then I would have brutally murdered Mario years ago...

BTW, great review Yahtzee! You have one of the best review video series I've run across, so Congratulations! Plus, you gave jack the nameless faceless dork award in 2007, so I have to love you.

p.s. You are so right LofS, No, if you want to play the old games, by Sonics ultimate gensis Collection, its on every system isnt it? and it only costs like 20 bucks at gamestop. Honestly.

-RTM

Sad thing is everything he said is true and I still love this game.

idunno what happened to sonic team... it's like they mnake something great, then they make a sequel thats better, then they try to make an other sequel and they try to improve what was already at it's best and screw the whole thing up. sonic for instance. now i think the sonic adventure games where about the best series ever got besides tails somehow getting more girlish and seemngly younger between the games, but starting with sonic heroes the games spiraled down into disgusting peices of shit and voice acting so terrible i wanted to cut myself. phantasy star games did this as well. phantasy star 1&2-good if a little misspelled, phantasy star online - best game on dreamcast and possibly gamecube phantasy star galaxies - ... how? how could you fuck this up? all you had to do was make new levels which you did. then all you had to do was go to the gameplay control and leveling system and hit ctrl+c then ctrl+v. why was that so hard. was it easier to make a shitty leveling system crappier weapons and worse controls? what happened?

thus my veiw is that sonic team has finally gone off the deep end. i loved every sonic title up to sonic heroes but i think it is time to put this series to bed.

Alright, I have played and beaten this game, and I enjoyed it very much. I thought the game was good. However, just starting off, I thought it was too hard, as Yahtzee seems to. His complaints about Sonic being too fast are ones I shared at one point ... until I actually got good at the game. True, it's not the kind of game you can just pick up and play and expect to ace every single level, but games that are like that are boring! It's a fun game when you know what the fuck you're doing, so complaining about the difficulty isn't really valid.
Although, he did have only a week to play this, so I can appreciate he didn't have a heck of a lot of time to get good.
P.S. I am a Sonic fan of a sort, but even I agree that Sonic has done everything fun and logical he can do, and it might be a good idea to just stop now and leave us with the vast trail of good and bad varieties of games and fanart for us to enjoy in peace. And if in a few years, when people have forgotten about Sonic, they could do some 'triumphant return' of some sort, if they think they can get away with it.
But no ... the next game they'll be coming out with, Project Needlemouse, will be a complete reboot of the entire 17 years.
...
WORST. IDEA. EVER!

DarkenedWolfEye:
Alright, I have played and beaten this game, and I enjoyed it very much. I thought the game was good. However, just starting off, I thought it was too hard, as Yahtzee seems to. His complaints about Sonic being too fast are ones I shared at one point ... until I actually got good at the game. True, it's not the kind of game you can just pick up and play and expect to ace every single level, but games that are like that are boring! It's a fun game when you know what the fuck you're doing, so complaining about the difficulty isn't really valid.
Although, he did have only a week to play this, so I can appreciate he didn't have a heck of a lot of time to get good.
P.S. I am a Sonic fan of a sort, but even I agree that Sonic has done everything fun and logical he can do, and it might be a good idea to just stop now and leave us with the vast trail of good and bad varieties of games and fanart for us to enjoy in peace. And if in a few years, when people have forgotten about Sonic, they could do some 'triumphant return' of some sort, if they think they can get away with it.
But no ... the next game they'll be coming out with, Project Needlemouse, will be a complete reboot of the entire 17 years.
...
WORST. IDEA. EVER!

What is wrong with you? The sonic series starting sucking after Sonic 3 & Knuckles. I think the only Sonic 3D game that went well was Sonic Adventure. The first one that is. The quicker they get Sonic back to his roots, the greater he will be.

He does need more games. He needs games not from the reatards, more like sonic adventure 2, and NOT WITH THE FUCKING SONIC X VOICE ACTORS. Seriously Sega, do NOT hire voice actors from a completely shitty tv series.
To the person above me: what about sonic adventure 2? That was the best fucking sonic game ever!

To add to this conversation Sonic 3D was good, even if it wasn't 'proper 3D'

if you hate this game then try sonic 06

Ive lost all hope for sonic i stopped playing after the nintendo 64

i remember back when sonic was good, those were good times

Well, worry no more Yahtzee! Sonic is finally returning to its roots!(Also not every 3D sonic game sucks monkey fuck, the sonic adventure games were pretty good until sonic team got a lobotomy.)

I gotta dissagree. I thought this game was decent. The day stages are reminiscent of the old 2d sonics and the 3-d is brief and is more about run fast, dodge this, and don't touch that! The night time stages are very god of war like, and is fun to bash those stupid monster's faces in. what pisses me off are the damn airplane stages. If they werent there, i would call this game good. The HUB is repetitve, but overall harmless and doesn't really ruin the game, just pads it out

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