Zero Punctuation: E3 2013

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it's funny seeing ben bend over back words to try and be fair to x box one.
namely cause he picked micro soft to beat sony...

and we all saw how that's going (Yes I know it's to early to claim victory i'm point out how reliable Yahtzee is).

I watched todays episode and thought "Dear God, it's amazing how much better jim Sterling is at this."

I think i might got one laugh. and that's all ben has. Make people laugh.....maybe i'm dumb and don't get it (and i say that only cause the internet doesn't need over enlightened douche bags pretending their smarter than everyone else).

I think i'm done with this section. entirely.

Yahtzee Croshaw:
E3 2013

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews E3 2013.

Watch Video

Well, it is true that Microsoft rapes fish. As well as dolphins.

Isn't it about time that they renamed E3 "Spunk Gargle Wee-Wee Convention... err 3"?

Magog1:
it's funny seeing ben bend over back words to try and be fair to x box one.
namely cause he picked micro soft to beat sony...

I don't know how you've managed to arrive to this conclusion. He's been critical of the entire next-gen progression in general. The only comment that I could possibly see someone taking as him showing a favoring of Microsoft is that whole fighting wolves joke from the Next Gen Buyer's Guide video, and that was hardly a recommendation so much as its own roundabout backhanding of MS. I suppose he's harped on Sony stuff a bit more through the Extra Punctuation, but I'd say that might be out of sheer virtue of us knowing about it for longer. (since there was the whole PS meeting back in Feb) I'd hardly call that "being fair to the Xbox One;" it's more that he's "discussed" the other console more.

The rant against exclusivity made me happy. It's obvious anti-competitive and anti-consumer behaviour, and not enough people give a fuck.

Also, one of the most hilarious ZP's in a long time, even one of the best ever imo :D

And no mention of Project Spark... Why not? Everyone seems to have forgotten about it.

And now I miss Crispy and or Crispy Mint M&Ms even more now. So so delicious but with shitty shelf life doomed to fail.

ROME: total warfighter

BX3:

TheProfessor234:
Here I was hoping he'd mention Wonderful 101 but ah well.

Next week should be pretty good, hopefully.

Went against the "Nintendo rehashes IPs" running gag, so he couldn't use it.

Either that or him not mentioning it means he sees it as a positive and not worth mentioning in a video that's meant to cut down on E3 hype.

That is a good point. The game looks great, hopefully it pulls through, I really hope it is.

If anything, when it does come out, it should be a great Zero Punc review anyway.

I wasn't very excited for E3, but nonetheless I still enjoyed some of what was being offered. I think the next generation of consoles looks fine.

Also, spunkgargleweewee is still a stupid term.

"Why did you fast-forward most of it?"
"Because the parts in between were boring!"
"I suppouse you can't fast-forward in game?"
"...No."
"So are you saying that your game is boring then?"

Oh god, that was a good laugh.

I play few games, so I watch E3 reviews for upcoming titles that sound really promising. Nothing here. This is a bad sign.

1nfinite_Cros5:

Arslan Aladeen:
Isn't Yahtzee's complaint about MGS going open-world applicable to just about every open-world game including Red Dead and Skyrim?

He wasn't really complaining about it as he was taking the piss out of how unusual it looked in comparison to other E3 trailers. I mean, how many games have you seen whose trailers consisted of uncut gameplay and random moments where it fastforwards itself.
I didn't think so.

When has Kojima ever been conventional? Not that I feel his complaint isn't valid, I find the majority of open-world games terribly boring, and is probably my biggest concern for MGSV. It just seems a bit hypocritical when he says that open world games like Skyrim and Red Dead are something more games should do.

Apparently Yahtzee does know as much about Nintendo for someone who constantly critiques it. That or he's trying desperately to suppress his Brawl experience or he'd know by now that Smash Bros. usually has 2 or 3 WTF characters. Hence the inclusion of the Wii Fit Trainer.

Also I'm getting sick of Yahtzee and everyone else stating Nintendo doesn't make new IPs. (That's the kind of talk that makes them convinced to throw out more Mario, Zelda, ect. ) Nintendo has plenty of them if you know where to look. ::coughcougheShopcoughcough:: Does Yahtzee subscribe to the same mentality as Sean Malstrom in that "regardless of how much good people talk about it, a franchise isn't worth investing in if it doesn't sell consoles and reach Mario/Zelda/Pokemon levels of noterity?" Because if so, I may have to fly to Australia and slap him. That's an arrogant viewpoint you can take on the industry as a whole, let alone one company or franchise, and it's another reason why I don't buy into this Triple A nonsense.

The sooner we dump this "triple A" corporate brainwashing BS, the sooner the industry will wake up and quit over blowing their budgets.

When has Kojima ever been conventional? Not that I feel his complaint isn't valid, I find the majority of open-world games terribly boring, and is probably my biggest concern for MGSV. It just seems a bit hypocritical when he says that open world games like Skyrim and Red Dead are something more games should do.

Funny enough one of your examples, Skyrim, is something I'd say is boring on the level of most open world games but I'm not gonna get into it here.

More to the point: this isn't the first time Yahtzee's been hypocritical on that topic either. He took points off of NMH2 for dumping the GTA-esque hub for a map screen despite complaining about how many games had been doing similar open world GTA-esque hubs early on throughout that year beforehand.

Hm, no mention of Megaman anywhere? I wonder if everyone either doesn't care or is ignoring the elephant in the room. And I think extra punctuation should at least touch on handheld stuff like Ys Celceta and SMT IV, and perhaps Killer Is Dead while we're at it.

Oh, come come Yahtzee, you curmudgeon. MGS 5 and The Division both look brilliant, and that driving game Ubisoft put out looked pretty nifty too. I'm also not sure I buy the complaint that The Order uses steampunk as an excuse to get guns in the setting so it'll play like an FPS. I know we have barely any details about it yet, but it seems to be like The Order is using steampunk as an excuse to be awesome. Seriously, blasting momsters by shooting them lightning while wearing a tailcoat and a top hat? Sign me the chuff up.

Yeah, so E3 wasn't a dynamic game changer promising revolutions in the genre, but it at least promises a bit of fun still to come in the next couple of years. And it was, at least, miles better than last year's.

EDIT: Oh yeah, the most important part. Battlefront 3 got announced. That pretty much makes it the best E3 ever.

Please tell me that whole blurb at the end was just for shits and giggles and not because some asshole lawyer working at Microsoft said you should throw it in.

Really quite disappointed that Ryse is going to be an Xbox exclusive i do like my Romans. Ahh well there's always TW:Rome 2 to look forward to.

warmachine:
I play few games, so I watch E3 reviews for upcoming titles that sound really promising. Nothing here. This is a bad sign.

...Why would you come to a Zero Punctiation video for stuff that is promising? The point of his videos is extreme criticism, with a few exceptions.

E3 viceos especially. His mission statement in his E3 videos is to kill any and all hype. If you want to see positives, or good games he didn't mention here, you should go elsewhere.

Shoggoth2588:
Caligula of Duty...stop and think about this concept...It would start out with a 5 minute, 1st-person cut-scene then go 3rd person from there SO AS TO BEHOLD THE GODLY SPLENDOR OF CALIGULA THE GREAT! Gameplay itself would be like Saint's Row only taking place in ancient Rome. Vehicles would consist of chariots and, horses and unlike every other free-roaming sandbox with free choice, Caligula the Game will not only allow you but INSIST that you marry a horse and add it to your harem (the harem will act as a sort of level-up system: you know you've hit level 100 when you've married a Unicorn).

That actually sounds like a awesome possible direction for SR5 since in 4 you have done pretty much all you could do. The next game would be "Saints in Time" with the ability to get Caesar, Alexander, Caligula, and Genghis Khan as Homies. As well as the ability to wreck historic sites and trash wonders of the world.

Anathrax:

I also have a feeling that you hated Thfourief: The Foureifing But Not Really Since This is a Remake that you decided not to mention it here.

More like he prolly forgot it right after he saw how its basically Dishonored with a different wrapper.

Still hate Dead Rising 3 because its so Call of Duty now, what happen to my wacky wear a woman's bikini and get covered in zombie blood by using a teddy bear as a weapon game?

LordTerminal:
Apparently Yahtzee does know as much about Nintendo for someone who constantly critiques it. That or he's trying desperately to suppress his Brawl experience or he'd know by now that Smash Bros. usually has 2 or 3 WTF characters. Hence the inclusion of the Wii Fit Trainer.

Also I'm getting sick of Yahtzee and everyone else stating Nintendo doesn't make new IPs. (That's the kind of talk that makes them convinced to throw out more Mario, Zelda, ect. ) Nintendo has plenty of them if you know where to look. ::coughcougheShopcoughcough:: Does Yahtzee subscribe to the same mentality as Sean Malstrom in that "regardless of how much good people talk about it, a franchise isn't worth investing in if it doesn't sell consoles and reach Mario/Zelda/Pokemon levels of noterity?" Because if so, I may have to fly to Australia and slap him. That's an arrogant viewpoint you can take on the industry as a whole, let alone one company or franchise, and it's another reason why I don't buy into this Triple A nonsense.

The sooner we dump this "triple A" corporate brainwashing BS, the sooner the industry will wake up and quit over blowing their budgets.

When has Kojima ever been conventional? Not that I feel his complaint isn't valid, I find the majority of open-world games terribly boring, and is probably my biggest concern for MGSV. It just seems a bit hypocritical when he says that open world games like Skyrim and Red Dead are something more games should do.

Funny enough one of your examples, Skyrim, is something I'd say is boring on the level of most open world games but I'm not gonna get into it here.

More to the point: this isn't the first time Yahtzee's been hypocritical on that topic either. He took points off of NMH2 for dumping the GTA-esque hub for a map screen despite complaining about how many games had been doing similar open world GTA-esque hubs early on throughout that year beforehand.

Dude didn't you already say you were done with Yahtzee forever? Somewhere around the time where you were bagging on him and everyone else for being pc elitist propagandists?

WaitWHAT:

Steve the Pocket:
The minimum requirements are considerably lower than the actual hardware inside an Xbox 360. How, pray tell, does that work? I was very much under the impression that hardware emulation Does Not Work That Way.

Uh, they're not? The original XBOX had 512Mb of RAM. The site suggests two EDITgigabytes. The original XBOX had a modified ATI X1800. This recommends a GTX 8800 or HD 3870 as an absolute minimum. The CPU's somewhat harder to quantify, but considering how much weaker the original console is than these specs, it's safe to generalize.

They're perfectly easy to quantify: three cores of 3GHz apiece on the 360 vs. two cores of 2.4GHz to run the "emulator". It's one thing to port an individual game to something like that if it offloads more of its processing to the GPU, but to get every game made for the system running by sending it through a single software pipeline? Yeah, the more I think about it, I'm not even subjecting my computer to that. The videos are probably all fake, too; all you really need is an HDMI capture card, an extra hard drive, and a decent video editor.

You're more than welcome too, though, if you've got a spare computer lying around that you don't mind using as a guinea pig. You know, FOR SCIENCE. Just be sure to quote me and finalizer in your report so we'll know to come check out how it went.

GonzoGamer:

Azure Knight-Zeo:
Looks like Yahtzee's jumping on the anti-exclucive bandwagon.

Is there a bandwagon? Until now, I thought I was the only one.
Everyone seems to love exclusives.

Console gamers anyways... Whenever someone who clearly favors one system over the other (like Yahtzee) shouts out against console exclusives i can't help but hear it as "i wanna play, but only if we play by MY rules". Wanna talk about entitlement again?

OT: Well i was excited about stuff at E3 so i guess i'm a cockhead after all. inFamous: Second Son, Metal Gear Solid 5, Dragon Age: Inquisition, that new Tom Clancy thing, more Watch Dogs, Dark Souls 2, and then there's Deep Down from last year's E3 that i didn't catch any news from this year.

I think there's plenty to look forward to if one can just put down the Walking Stick of Fury for a little while.

TheNarrator:
The rant against exclusivity made me happy. It's obvious anti-competitive and anti-consumer behaviour, and not enough people give a fuck.

How is it anti-competitive? Doesn't it encourage console manufacturers to make systems game devs actually want to make games for, and doesn't it imply that having good devs make good games would make more people buy your console?

It's one of the reasons i bought a PS3 over the 360; because the PS3 had exclusives i wanted and the 360 didn't and everything else was multiplat or uninteresting.

Ulquiorra4sama:
How is it anti-competitive? Doesn't it encourage console manufacturers to make systems game devs actually want to make games for, and doesn't it imply that having good devs make good games would make more people buy your console?

Because if your competitor makes a better console but you have more cash, you can just pay developers to ignore the other system, which goes against the "better products thrive" principle at the heart of free-market capitalism.

One of the best episodes I've seen in a very long time. I really enjoyed the things that were said here, especially that last "P.S." segment at the end. Keep it up, sir.

Apologies if someone else already pointed this out with Ryse, or Rysen, or whatever it's called: This game has one in the role of a Roman soldier going through the cliches of modern warfare shooters, namely the technologically advanced aggressor who has little motivation other than "Fuck foreigners." I would dare say that in this one instance, the cliche is historically accurate.

EvilRoy:

Dude didn't you already say you were done with Yahtzee forever? Somewhere around the time where you were bagging on him and everyone else for being pc elitist propagandists?

I made an exception since he was talking about E3. Mostly to see if he didn't erupt into another "PC gaming is sooooooo great" load of crap like the past 3 times he's done so. Thankfully he kept that contained this time but that's not gonna change my outlook on him.

Because if your competitor makes a better console but you have more cash, you can just pay developers to ignore the other system, which goes against the "better products thrive" principle at the heart of free-market capitalism.

That's a load of pretentious PC gamer horse crap. Almost everything that gets exclusivity on a console, gets a PC release anyway. The only exceptions being Nintendo and Sony franchises.

LordTerminal:

EvilRoy:

Dude didn't you already say you were done with Yahtzee forever? Somewhere around the time where you were bagging on him and everyone else for being pc elitist propagandists?

I made an exception since he was talking about E3. Mostly to see if he didn't erupt into another "PC gaming is sooooooo great" load of crap like the past 3 times he's done so. Thankfully he kept that contained this time but that's not gonna change my outlook on him.

So you're saying... even though you totally hate him forever, you came to check if you should still hate him... and then when he didn't do the stuff you hate him for you just started on something else... and you still totally hate him forever.

Have you considered that you're just seeking conflict as a replacement for entertainment?

Because if your competitor makes a better console but you have more cash, you can just pay developers to ignore the other system, which goes against the "better products thrive" principle at the heart of free-market capitalism.

That's a load of pretentious PC gamer horse crap. Almost everything that gets exclusivity on a console, gets a PC release anyway. The only exceptions being Nintendo and Sony franchises.

See this right here. You just started chewing on this dude for being a pretentious pc bullshit gamer, except the dude never even mentioned PCs. He brought up a completely legit problem with the exclusive game practices that occur between console developing companies.

Cat mario cannot lick his balls, yahtzee.
Quit playing

Ulquiorra4sama:

GonzoGamer:

Azure Knight-Zeo:
Looks like Yahtzee's jumping on the anti-exclucive bandwagon.

Is there a bandwagon? Until now, I thought I was the only one.
Everyone seems to love exclusives.

Console gamers anyways... Whenever someone who clearly favors one system over the other (like Yahtzee) shouts out against console exclusives i can't help but hear it as "i wanna play, but only if we play by MY rules". Wanna talk about entitlement again?

No, I don't.
I thought people were done with over/misusing the term "entitled." Haven't seen it done in a while.
It's more like I wanna play those but I don't wanna have to buy & hook up 3 different machines to my tv set. How does that have anything to do with entitlement exactly? If companies like Sony made certain dvds of theirs exclusive to their dvd players, we'd still be using vhs tapes.

Ulquiorra4sama:

TheNarrator:
The rant against exclusivity made me happy. It's obvious anti-competitive and anti-consumer behaviour, and not enough people give a fuck.

How is it anti-competitive? Doesn't it encourage console manufacturers to make systems game devs actually want to make games for, and doesn't it imply that having good devs make good games would make more people buy your console?

It's one of the reasons i bought a PS3 over the 360; because the PS3 had exclusives i wanted and the 360 didn't and everything else was multiplat or uninteresting.

The heart and soul of capitalism, the reason it's the best economical system we humans have been able to come up with, is competition. However, you can compete in (roughly) two ways: by improving your own product (better quality or lower price), or by spending time and energy to hinder the competition. Obviously, only the first kind of competition actually benefits the consumer and society in general.

For an AAA developer, there's virtually no technical or financial reason why a game shouldn't be made cross-platform, especially in a generation that uses exactly the same CPU architecture. The cost of porting to all the consoles and PC is much lower than the benefits of reaching a much larger audience. So a game developer will only agree to make something exclusive to a platform when there's considerable compensation.

Exclusivity is a form of anti-competitive behaviour, because it's a case of the console manufacturer spending money to ensure that the competition does not get something desirable. There is no reason why console exclusives can't be made cross-platform, they're only not cross-platform because MS and Sony actually spend money to prevent these games from coming to other systems. This money is not spent on improving their own product but on making the competitor's product less desirable; that's pretty much the definition of anti-competitive behaviour.

So it's bland enough to revive the term 'spunkgargleweewee', yeah it hasn't changed. It's been a fucking while since I got excited for a new game. The new Smash Brothers might've done it if Brawl wasn't such a failure.

Arnoxthe1:
And no mention of Project Spark... Why not? Everyone seems to have forgotten about it.

It's actually the exclusive I'm looking forward to most if I get an Xbox One.

Aiddon:
I do think it's funny how the only company who actually tries anything outside the box is Nintendo. AAA devs just HATE having to go for depth over spectacle

But with Nintendo you just have to eat severely tenderized horse meat. Sure the meats fine, but something in the back of your mind just won't shut up about about the fact it's a dead horse.

And if you took away the exclusives then there would be absolutely no point in ever buying a Wii-U or an Xbox. A bit of a cop out, but it's true.

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