Movie Defense Force: Transformers

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 NEXT
 

Transformers is one of those movies I can watch the final act of again and again, but hate slogging through the rest of it. I kind of go against orthodoxy by saying it's problems stem from being too much like the old cartoon: that is, a one dimensional good vs evil fight between the ultimate good guy, the ultimate bad guy, and their armies of characters that get just enough screen time and stereotyped personality to go "buy the action figure and don't notice it's the exact same one you already have in different colored plastic." I even forgive the all maguffin spark as in a level of hindsight, energon and a fight for energy resources makes more sense when you are younger and unaware of renewables.

But we grew up with this mythos in our head that Jazz was somehow something more than someone that spoke jive and had big speakers, or that prowl had any personality at all and didn't like a reminder that, yeah, they were mostly very one dimensional origianlly.

Doesn't make it a great movie, but nostalgia blinders off, I've forgiven far worse.

I can't get angry at the movie for being different than the cartoon, because I am an ACTUAL transformers fan, rather than someone who just wants a 2hr long cartoon.

I grew up with it in the 80s. I watched it as faithfully as anyone.
I watched the movie during its original theatrical run as a ten-year old boy, watching my favorites get destroyed and killed [i]just to divorce the line from its Diaclone roots and sell new toys[/b]. You think Bayformers can kill your childhood? I watched Optimus Prime die AFTER watching Megatron, Starscream, and the Constructicons murder Prowl, Ratchet, Brawn, and Ironhide in terribly horrific [and awesome] fashion.

I watched Beast Wars, and then later, Beast Machines, with the alterations to the continuity simply to tie it all together.

I watched the Japanese-made RID, Armada, Energon, Cybertron... and then the American produced Animated.

I've seen Transformers in multiple configurations, good AND bad. Sometimes REALLY bad. HORRIBLY bad.

I will say this, with absolute authority and conviction.

If you think the Transformers movies are the worst thing in the franchise, then you have absolutely no knowledge of the franchise and your opinion is not informed enough to make this determination.

I mean... KISS Players. Come on.

I didn't know much about Transformers, then the movie introduced Jazz, then the movie killed Jazz. Point where I stated "FUCK THIS SHIT!" In a not so amused manner. Which was made all the worse during the 3rd one.

Nope. My hate for Michael Bay, which burned long before I saw Transformers, is exhausting and I don't have enough energy to go into this one right now.
Just to let you know, you're wrong. Flat wrong. You can enjoy it as a guilty pleasure or not, but even for a non-transformers fan, this movie is absolute shit, as is anything Bay has ever produced.

Manthraxx:
I liked the first movie.... cue the torches and pitch forks

right there with you. its a decent fluff movie to just sit and chill out with.

the second was just plain bad and offensive though but even that had its moments now and then

Froggy Slayer:
Oh, Bob isn't going to like this one bit.

Prepare to do battle, Jim.

Accept jim sterling left nut has more talent than the whole of movie bob. There i said it.

And Jim... yeah the first movie was okay. I Feel sometimes you pic the each ones.
MK 1
transformers 1.

I watched a 2-3 hour review where two turbo nerds manage to break down how everything in the fallen sucked total ass.
Now i didn't need to be told it sucked. It did. OH brother it did.

I mean outside of the girl they fired for the third movie... they movie was total garbage.

I won't dare you to defend revenge of the fallen Jim.

cause you can't ^ ~.

You have to admire the attention to detail from Michael Bay in Transformers though, I mean, look at the close up details we get from the camera being 1 meter away from a 100m tall robot during a fight...

I actually lost count on how often I thought "No" or laughed sarcastically during this MDF-episode...
"Well crafted" actually made me break out in laughter. I'm sorry to say, but the Bayformers movies ARE as bad as people say they are. And even if someone didn't see the first movie, the scenes you yourself showed in this video are pretty much all you need to see the flaws: The robots move like something that suffers from the most comically overdrawn cases of Parkinsons ever, the fight scenes are just twitchy and rather resemble slap-battles of toddlers, calling Shia the Beef's pouty-mouthed, whiny performance acting is an insult to the entire craft and everyone involved in the final draft of the script should be kept away from any form of writing whatsoever (my favourite is the idiotic scene when Fox steps into Bumblebee the first time and is simply ennerved when Shia's car starts DRIVING ON ITS OWN AND AUTOMATICALLY SWITCHES RADIO CHANNELS).

I honestly don't even need to see the movie a second time to get pissed at it, I could criticize that trite forever simply by taking apart the stuff you just showed in this episode. Oh and thanks for including the "Bumblebee pisses on suit-guy"-scene, another scene right out of Bay's screenwriting book for morons. Piss on wether or not these flicks are "loyal" or whatever to the source material, they are bloody horrendous as movies in general.

I saw the first Transformers, and don't particularly like the franchise despite having watched it as a child, and still don't like it. The redesigns are horrible formless crap, the focus is on the teenager and his overdone, stupid problems that I couldn't care less about, and there is basically no scene that is funny, tense or thrilling due to it all being so overdone. And Frenzy's ridiculous manic movement and sounds were not endearing to me, but rather pissed me off.

Manthraxx:
I liked the first movie.... cue the torches and pitch forks

You're more likely to be lynched around here for having an unsubstantiated opinion than an unpopular one.

Transformers is boring. Its action is boring. It has no real plot -- no, really, all of its plot points are marred with contradictions, so the sum total is no real plot -- so it isn't engaging.

The explosions aren't interesting because nothing explodes that you care about.

That's a crap movie. Yet Transformers is considered a shitty movie. How so?

It isn't worth seeing opening day, even for nostalgia's sake. That can rankle. My friends and I saw it opening day. We were talking about something besides Transformers within a few minutes of leaving the theater, and it never came up again.

Michael Bay is a bigoted piece of shit. This is known. His racism is in his movies. The more of it in his movies, the shittier they are. His use of Jazz was extra-racist here to people who knew the cartoon because they were aware of Bay's conscious decision to replace someone like Scatman Caruthers with Generic Ghetto Thug -- something that would only make sense to a white bigot. To someone not familiar with the cartoon, Jazz' voice merely sounds like an insensitive choice, since the context isn't clear. Thus, a crappy movie for some will be absolute shit for others even ignoring nostalgia. That's the key here: even if your nostalgia wasn't ruined, this movie says "fuck you unless you're also a piece of shit" -- e.g., it's offensive. But the later movies are far worse.

The Transformers are supporting cast. Michael Bay sucks Pentagon cock -- and since Pentagon cock is shrunken, diseased, and only becomes erect during prison torture or rape, that's particularly odious. These two things combined begin to rankle. Bay's military fetishism wouldn't be so bad if the Transformers were allowed to consistently come along for the ride -- after all, the Transformers raison d'arte is fighting and the military fights, so peanut-butter-meet-chocolate. But the Transformers aren't allowed in, because Bay also has a fetish for high-maintenance supermodels with 12-year-old-boy figures, so that's what we get instead of the point of the movie.

The Transformers are ugly. And confusing. And their aesthetic style is changed because Bay is bad at his job and literally -- this is true -- didn't even want to do the Transformers, so the artwork was basically his attempt to divorce the robots from the source material. Since the vapid source material is still more sophisticated than his actual narrative(s), this maneuver accomplished nothing but failure.
And that said, the transformers don't look dangerous -- they look like overacting garbage. You can't tell what the fuck is going on with them so they never hit the uncanny valley that you need to make them seem impressively alien. Because the transformations aren't clean -- like the original toys/cartoons -- the transformation sequence and transformer movements aren't interesting. You're watching blobs move on the screen. And when you can make out their forms, their movements are slow, jerky, imprecise, and Obviously Special Effects to the point where there is no immersion, which is aggravated by their busy motifs. Every element of their design is wrong in a way that worsens the other elements.
Compare the Bayformers to John Carpenter's The Thing -- the former are metallic versions of the alien in the latter. The Thing was horrifying because its component parts -- livers, hearts, hands, feet, brains, skin -- were being repurposed, before your eyes, into more useful shapes. You could see the flesh warp into an adaptation. But when a Bayformer transforms, you can't really tell where most of the parts were a second ago, so the thrill of the transformation is lost.

The entire movie is a blatant marketing ploy. Since there is no plot and the movie is boring, the only thing left is advertising. And since advertising >> source material, the transformers don't even look like themselves, so there is NOTHING in this movie for someone who knows something about the Transformers. Literally, the only demographic that can enjoy this film are racist assholes born after 1989.

When a franchise gets a Piece of Shit entered into its product line, it either slows, stifles, pauses, or outright KILLS that line. While Bay has it, no one else has it. Now, the source material itself is rather bad, but that isn't much of a problem since most of that tripe is low risk/low reward. Because of Green Lantern's film, the Justice League was axed, and those properties have far more forward momentum than the Transformers.

Copper Zen:

arc1991:

Manthraxx:
I liked the first movie.... cue the torches and pitch forks

Same here! The the only film in the trilogy where Megatron is actually threatening, in the 3rd he was awful, and the second one he was lead by the fallen...Bay broke the only rule in Transformers...NO ONE COMMANDS MEGATRON...Apart from unicron...

Don't get me wrong, all 3 films have there merits (the 1st and 3rd more so over 2nd...) but the first is the best.

Ditto on liking the movie. I watched the original animated Transformers series and the original animated movie when I was young but didn't watch any of the stuff made after it.

I enjoyed Transformers for it's own sake. I had no preconceptions and was impressed that CGI had advanced sufficiently for ANY live action Transformers to be made. I've got a copy and I watched it repeatedly years ago--though seeing this MDF video reminds me that it's been so long since I watched it that I could pull it out and see it fresh.

I enjoyed RoTF somewhat, though it was a step down. Haven't seen the 3rd movie but I expect I'll buy it on DVD.

I know Movie Bob detests it but while I've enjoyed several movies he suggested it is PAINFULLY clear that his bias against certain directors--Michael Bay and JJ Abrams especially--negates his professional objectivity towards their work. When they come up I always (and with 100% accuracy to date) expect Bob's dark side--Fanboy Bob--to take over and Sith all over the place. :D

Rotten Tomatoes gives Transformers a mere 57% Official Review score but an audience review score of 89%. The professional critics seem to not grok what regular people enjoy.

Adjusted for inflation it made $368,432,400 at the box office (with a production cost of $150 million) and even more from sales of the DVDs.

Hrrmmmm, apparently a 'betrayed' fan base doesn't determine a movie's success. Go figure... <_<

You are going with the flawed logic of if it makes money then it can't be wrong because everyone has perfect flawless taste. If box office was truly an indicator of quality then the Oscars could save all the voting and just give the award to the movies and actors who made the most money.

Go to any nearby town or city, walk around for a while, and you will see that people have horrible taste. Bad tastes in clothing, bad taste in food, bad taste in music, bad taste is all around us. By attempting to argue profit is the indicator of quality you'd have to say that McDonalds has the best hamburgers because they sell more than other places. Bad taste in movies just fits into the same culture that says it's okay to wear those crocs, the stained white tee shirt, and the cut off blue jean shorts to Wal-Mart because we live in a culture where you can't question another person's taste without them being somehow offended. Our culture doesn't just embrace bad/poor tastes it wallows in it and holds the most brain dead of reality TV stars as the standard to strive for.

As to why critics are rough on Bay and Abrams it's because they do the same things film after film so you could almost cut and paste reviews with just a few name changes. Abrams always uses so much lens flair that it's down right distracting. Abrams also always makes a big deal about the big secret and the big secret is always a let down like in Super 8 where people imagined cooler stuff in the train car than what we actually got. Bay has a list of bad habits he's been repeating over and over again since The Rock. To make as many films as Bay has with zero growth as a director is going to annoy the poor rascal that is stuck watching basically the same film over and over again from Bay. Only so many times a person can take rah rah USA and I can't make great bad guys because have to win with ease every film.

I hate the movie, it's absolutely awful and Michael Bay should be shot. What really annoys me about is the ending which is basically;

Megatron - Give me teh allspark!
14 year old looking numpty Shia Laboooof - Fine, take it.
Megatron - Oh noes, I are dead.

Manthraxx:
I liked the first movie.... cue the torches and pitch forks

I actually liked it enough to see it twice in theaters. The first time I tried I could not get in as all the seats were filled up but the other two times I managed to squeak in and the crowds were enormous, hell, I think they are what made the experience so memorable!

There was an episode of I Love Lucy entitled "Lucy Writes a Novel." In an effort to become famous like Ricky, she manages to write a full novel and tries to shop it around to various publishers. Much to everyone's surprise, a publisher actually replies back and wants to set up a meeting with her and an author of a new text book about writing fiction. Which is an even greater shock. Lucy is obviously excited, and so is the author. Because he wants to feature her novel in a chapter titled "How NOT to Write."

I grew up in Hollywood and was a film student for a time. Bay is never held aloft as any soft of visionary nor artist. He is the Lucy of film making. He is used by every film instructor (well, the ones I've met) as an example of how NOT to make films. Some of you might wonder then, how is it that he is still a film maker. It's really for two reasons. His films are basically like a porn shoot and he is probably the only director that consistently completes his films under time and under budget.

Oh, and a third reason: because people are fully willing to pay to see a monkey fling shit on to a film reel.

Bay's films are text book examples of terrible film making. And audiences are apparently fine with that. However, being good at being shitty is not a pass or an excuse.

My hatred of Bayformers is definitely not hinged purely on nostalgia, and more because Michael Bay's a shit director. My proof? This picture:

image

That's my desk. Any fan can tell that the only "G1" figure there is the Voyager-class Springer, which even then is based less on the Sunbow cartoons and more on his incarnation in the IDW comic "Last Stand of the Wreckers." The rest of those figures? All from the currently-running Transformers Prime cartoon, which shares many things with the live action films: it's run by movie writing duo Orci and Kurtzman, it shares a similar sorta-spiky aesthetic, peppered with the same overly dramatic orchestral swells, and it even has not one, but three human sidekicks of varying annoying and adolescence.

So what's different? The only missing thing is Michael Bay, and everything the man stands for. Hence, no excessive ass-kissing of the US military, no pointless babes in bikinis, no focusing the entire story on the humans when it's supposed to be about the giant robots, and no overtly racist caricatures. Hell, the one black dude is a badass government agent, the little Mexican kid is a genius hacker, and the annoying Japanese girl with the Indonesian accent has plot armor. If anything this show is goddamned affirmative action at work.

So yeah, it's possible to love new interpretations of the Transformers franchise, but utterly hate Bay's films.

Transformers would be a forgivable movie to me if they hadn't spent so much time on the impotent and ineffective military. I paid to see big stompy robots, and the part of the movie that dealt with big stompy robots was actually pretty good. I don't care about his military fetish, lame political "satire," or a half-assed teen "date movie" stint.

Star Wars Episodes 1 and 2 should have been 90 minutes of lightsaber battles, and this should have been big robots fighting.

But it's not a TERRIBLE movie.

Just...Not a great one.

Froggy Slayer:
Oh, Bob isn't going to like this one bit.

Prepare to do battle, Jim.

I'm on Team Jim!

....Not because I like the movie, but because I like Jim.

I didn't mind the first one, i found it the most enjoyable. The 2nd and 3rd where just plain shite.

It's cartoon to sell toys, what is there to ruin? I liked all three movies but Revenge was weird. Probably because they had to film off on the very first draft.

THANK YOU.

I've been waiting for this one for a while.

I enjoyed the hell out of Bayformers 1 when it came out and I enjoy the hell out of Bayformers today.
It's just a damn fun movie, plot and angst be damned.

Also, and I know I'm really not it's just a phrase so relax, am I the only one who had no problem telling the bots apart and understood every action scene fine? I'm not trying to pretend to be smart, I just can't understand that complaint.

Now Bayformers TWO on the other hand...... Oh god.

RJ Dalton:
this movie is absolute shit, as is anything Bay has ever produced.

Sean Connery.
Nic Cage.
Teaming up to fight the good guy from The Abyss.
Who is armed biological missiles.
Also Micheal Biehn is there.

Your argument is invalid.

I thought I was a movie snob and now I find out that some people don't like the first Transformers movie?
Next you're going to tell me the Avengers was boring

theultimateend:

Jigero:
Jesus and I thought you reached a pathetic and desperate level when you did Phantom Menace, now I'm starting to think your nothing but an attention whore.

I think the point of MDF is that everyone is too hyperbolic and should just relax.

The point of MDF is to defend legitimately good movies that got buried or have a bad wrap, which there are tons of.

All Jim is doing is just apologizing for legitimately bad movies in the vein attempt to attract attention.

I heavily recommend everyone go watch Best of the Worst over at redlettermedia (the same guys who did the plinkett reviews) They actually find legitimate diamonds in the rough instead of just apologizing for shit movies.

oh this is not going to end well i fear.

"The original is still acessible"
NO, not really. the amount of times when i talked about pretty much any reboot original and theo ther person did not udnerstand because they claimed that the reboot was theo nly thing he knew therefore that the true one is astounding.

Manthraxx:
I liked the first movie.... cue the torches and pitch forks

1st one was very crappy but kinda ok for what it was, sex tease and explosions (lets face it thats basically what this whole movie was). the second one was on the level of human centipede of terrible, 3rd one tried to make it a bit better and at least the "Action" was finally fun to watch.

Crazy Cali:
I don't understand why Bob defends 2012 for being stupid fun but not Transformers (1 not 2)

becasue he is BOB. a lot of his videos usually ends up "its not so bad because i liekd it" or "its compeltely awful the man should die" opinions.the "dont like things i dont like" is very strong with BOB.

When I first watched it I went in with my brain switched off and had a thoroughly enjoyable time. Angry robots punching eachother never gets old (though that may be personal bias :D).

The second time I watched it was on holiday in Germany (so it was a German dub), which was, if possible, even more enjoyable.

The third time I watched is was the first time I payed attention to anything beyond robotic violence and it was utter shit.

Still, I appreciate it for what it is, a dumb, yet often fun, action movie with giant robots.

(Still waiting for and dreading a new live-action Gundam movie. >.>)

a movie i enjoy watching. its just a movie to sit back and just see stuff blowing up with some cheesy humor. i dint mind part 2 and 3 either, even when its not as good as part 1 of course. i grew up with the original movies but i still like bayformers.

Mr Dizazta:

arc1991:
*Sigh*
The first film and DOTM are, for me (being a transformer fan), great ROTF is crap, but the action scenes are some of the best. It's just another TF continutiy, not the best mind you, but i would take this over the godly amount of animation errors in G1 any day!

Personally i can't wait for TF4...Hound is confirmed!...MOTHERFUKING HOUND!

image

Hound is the big army vehicle, Bumblebee is the black camero (more representing his Prime Beast Hunters self) and apparently the other 2 cars are Blurr (The blue Buggati), and Drift, Prime is obvious...

I thought the big army vehicle guy was supposed to be Bulkhead.

It was confirmed to be Hound on bays website :)

DracoSuave:
I can't get angry at the movie for being different than the cartoon, because I am an ACTUAL transformers fan, rather than someone who just wants a 2hr long cartoon.

I grew up with it in the 80s. I watched it as faithfully as anyone.
I watched the movie during its original theatrical run as a ten-year old boy, watching my favorites get destroyed and killed [i]just to divorce the line from its Diaclone roots and sell new toys[/b]. You think Bayformers can kill your childhood? I watched Optimus Prime die AFTER watching Megatron, Starscream, and the Constructicons murder Prowl, Ratchet, Brawn, and Ironhide in terribly horrific [and awesome] fashion.

I watched Beast Wars, and then later, Beast Machines, with the alterations to the continuity simply to tie it all together.

I watched the Japanese-made RID, Armada, Energon, Cybertron... and then the American produced Animated.

I've seen Transformers in multiple configurations, good AND bad. Sometimes REALLY bad. HORRIBLY bad.

I will say this, with absolute authority and conviction.

If you think the Transformers movies are the worst thing in the franchise, then you have absolutely no knowledge of the franchise and your opinion is not informed enough to make this determination.

I mean... KISS Players. Come on.

Marry me? Please?

Glad to see someone else shares my views!

Transformers 1 wasn't a bad movie imo. It was fun and interesting enough to watch.

What was really interesting about these toys is how they transformed from one thing into another thing without either form appearing overly shoehorned in.

When I see commercials for these movies, I see a bunch of screwdrivers stuck to a magnetic puppet with seraphic wings made of car doors paneling.

Now what I'd like to ask of the nerds. If I don't get banned for saying nerd. Is do all of those screwdrivers interlock when these Hollywood transformers move? Or do they just go through one another like objects clipping through objects in a video game? I assume they wouldn't look like such a cluster fuck if something wasn't being wallpapered over by Movie Magic.

IronMit:
I thought I was a movie snob and now I find out that some people don't like the first Transformers movie?
Next you're going to tell me the Avengers was boring

Parts where but as a whole no (I say this as a fan)

SweetWarmIce:
It's cartoon to sell toys, what is there to ruin? I liked all three movies but Revenge was weird. Probably because they had to film off on the very first draft.

Well there's the Military Fetish, the crass gay and sex jokes, the casual racism the gruesome death (i don't really mind that i'm just pointing it out), the butchering of the Mythology and characters. There might be more but these are all i can think of

DracoSuave:

If you think the Transformers movies are the worst thing in the franchise, then you have absolutely no knowledge of the franchise and your opinion is not informed enough to make this determination.

I mean... KISS Players. Come on.

You just had to bring those up didn't you? I'd say it's one of the dumbest not worst:P
I'm glad you didn't mention G2 or bad games that have come of Transformers because there are too many. But It would be better this is the worst thing to happen to transformer "So far!"

(and wasn't all those alteration from Beast Wars and Machines explained by Megatrons interference with time, twice?)

I'm with you on this one Jim, this film wasn't really the original Transformers but it was still pretty good, even if most of the human characters were just boring stereotypes who had way to much screen time. Before anyone says 'so were the robots', they downloaded their means of interaction from the internet, things were gonna get silly derp!

Also, it was nice to see Starscream not be a pussy for once, he was a badass in the first film.

I never really though the first transformers was that bad, but that it was the high point in the series (which is never really a good thing when its he first movie and its only really meh at best). BUt then again, I feel the same way about the first twilight (not necessarily bad and if not for the book series it would be alright movie and definitely the high point of its series) so that from that what you will i suppose.

Thank you, Jim! This is what I've been telling people for years!

I wouldn't bother with Revenge of the Fallen; there's no hope for that one.

Please do Dark of the Moon, though.

Sorry Jim, I mostly disagree with you on this one. Sure, no one can hate Bay for being Bay. As South Park put it (in slightly different words) the fact he gets to keep making movies is simply proof god does not exist. Yet this movie is a steaming pile of crap. The robots do look bad, and don't fit anything. They are just a complete mess. Shia LeBouf does suck. The story is awful, and yes, I have watched this movie and even went in with an open mind. I did grow up on the Transformers, but I don't hate something based on not meeting nostalgia. If that was the case I would not have liked Burton's Batman or Nolan's Batman.

This movie has one thing, big explosions with big, messy, mostly indistinguishable robots fighting in it. If you like that, then ok, that's it's defense. Yet I don't agree with your other defenses for this movie.

Honestly, the first transformers wasn't that bad, and I'd hands on heart honestly say i enjoyed it.

Revenge of th fallen on the other hand....

lets just say I literally face-palmed at one point in the cinema.

SweetWarmIce:
It's cartoon to sell toys, what is there to ruin? I liked all three movies but Revenge was weird. Probably because they had to film off on the very first draft.

You see that's the thing Transformers was always more than that. Yes Takara Tomy wanted to sell toys To do that they got Jim Shooter and Denis O Neil LEGENDS in the comics industry and heads of Marvel to create the characters and a comic book based around them. There are some amazing stories told with the characters throughout the years.

The cartoons are great but the comics will always be my first love in Transformers... Don't get me started on how I hated that the cartoon made the Dinobots stupid...

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here