Jim & Yahtzee's Rhymedown Spectacular: Confessions of a Game Reviewer

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Confessions of a Game Reviewer

Put on your poetry hats and join two of the greatest wordsmiths of our generation as they fill your ears with verse.

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Why'd you have to remind me of that, Yahtzee? Whhhhhhyyyyyyy?!?!

I am now a sad panda

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It's close, but I think victory has to go to Yahtzee for this one; that punchline was genius. That said, the David Cage bit in Jim's poem cracked me up.

The Shooter's Ball poem was really good. It's nice when they don't beat you over the head with a metaphor or write a poem so pointed it stabs through the screen; sometimes, it's better to just hear some light-hearted rhymes.

+1 Respect for Jim.

Although that might just be from the joy of finding someone else who didn't think Witcher 2 was anything more than yet-another-fucking-fantasy-RPG.

On the other hand, if I find out that you gave Bioshock Infinite or The Last of Us anything less than an 8/10, God help me...

Both great yet again. I liked Yahtzee's metaphors (grenade hitting on three other guys, very amusing) and Jim's punchline was brilliant.

I am kind of surprised that you disliked all of those games Jim, I haven't seen the reviews seeing as I don't often visit Destructoid, but most of the ones mentioned were reasonably good at the least. Although from what I have seen Destructoid reviews games more "realistically" where a 7/10 isn't "average" like so many seem to feel.

Man, these bring a smile to my face. Great way to start my Wednesday. In reference to what Jim wrote about: it's pretty funny how outraged people get when someone doesn't like a score something was given. I loved the shit out of The Witcher 2. I think that 7/10 for Heavy Rain was way too high. That game was not a good game, it would have have been a fine movie (albeit, one that would not have been to my taste either). See, we can all agree to disagree. BTW: Yahtzee's always make me laugh the most, his rhymes are all very very funny.

I know it's not a competition, but I think Yahtzee has consistently proven himself to be the better poet. I think it's because Yahtzee's more of a wordsmith, given his work on Zero Punctuation and those two books he wrote.

WaitWHAT:
Why'd you have to remind me of that, Yahtzee? Whhhhhhyyyyyyy?!?!

I am now a sad panda

image

I dated white phosphorous once. Now it burns when I pee.

Zhukov:

Although that might just be from the joy of finding someone else who didn't think Witcher 2 was anything more than yet-another-fucking-fantasy-RPG.

I didn't like the Witcher 2 either that much to be honest.

On the other hand, if I find out that you gave Bioshock Infinite or The Last of Us anything less than an 8/10, God help me...

He didn't :D

OT: Great episode as always. I did enjoy Yahtzee's a bit more this week.

It's great when a critic will stand firm in the face of rampant fanboyism and stupidity. Also loved the Shooter's Ball, the metaphor is hilarious.

Jim, do you not have enough polygons?

Glad to see you stand by your words.

I was just thinking of David Cage and "eh-moh-shun" this morning. Thanks to the Jimquisition and this video, I have to think about that freaky tongue heavy hand-fan David Cage.

I agree that the Yahztee's punchline was pretty great.

Oh wow. Yahtzee's punchline...

...Well, that was definitely something.

I lol'd so hard at the david cage line, obviously jim is lacking in polygons

Yahtzee's was quality as always.

Both great again.

Particularly enjoyed the endings of both of them.

Enjoyed them both, thanks escapist for hosting this. And Ben+Jim for making it :D

Both of those were fantastic! The only thing that could have been added to Yahtzee's poem was mention of being railroaded around the event. Unless that was his role as the speaker? If so, well played.

LaughingAtlas:
Both of those were fantastic! The only thing that could have been added to Yahtzee's poem was mention of being railroaded around the event. Unless that was his role as the speaker? If so, well played.

Not necessarily. Some shooters[1] are actually fun y'know....

[1] Namely ones in which you'd actually be able to use all these weapons instead of being stuck with about 2 throughout the entire game.

I love when Yahtzee actually talks about games (even Shooters!) being fun. I do think it's funny when people respond by asking why he didn't put in more negativity. He is capable of being positive, folks. This poem proves he can even be funny when he's being positive.

I liked what Yathzee done with the shooters but it felt kinda pointless, like beating a horse thats long dead. Especially after few last poems were so good i could feel the heat from the burn.
I still get the Jims rhyme in my head as i write this, kinda strage even though i liked it. And i firmly stand for the message Jim sends.

Why Jim, I'm sure the recent kerfuffle on the Ride to Hell review had nothing to do with this.

Both of you did fantastic. Probably my favorite one yet.

Yet Jim... You don't regret it yet.

Definite win for Yahtzee today I'd say. Delivery was flawless.

That's my review anyway.

Maybe its just me, entirely possible seeings how I'm relatively new to this site, but Jim seems to spend a lot of these poem session defending himself. I've read some of his reviews and compared them side-by-side with Yatzhee's review of the same game and the later is much more scathing and unforgiving. And yet if these poems are anything to go by, Jim gets ten times the backlash, hate and snotty remarks. Am I missing something? I don't frequent the other sites Jim submits review to as often; are they just filling with frothing gamers who can't stand someone saying Heavy Rain was more boring than the Sheltering Sky?

Another wonderful Rhymedown, gentlemen. I especially enjoyed Yahtzee's poem on shooters and he looked rather spiffy in a suit and tie. Jim is a joy to listen to, as always, especially when he's talking about "emotions". =D

No Jim, I assure you that your biggest mishap by far was indeed Vanquish, which is objectively good at the very least. Don't worry though, I can't even get angry at your reviews any more. :D

And this is why I get my happy butt over to Destructoid for reviews of games. There is no BS "oh someone reviewed this game. BTW the page was paid for by the people who made the game, it got a 10 SURPRISE!" You know like other sites do.... *cough ign* I want people who are not afraid to call a turd a turd and if a developer lies to the reviewer, I want to see a SCATHING video posted calling the assholes out.....

Rhymedown has been great since it started and continues to shine.

Silentpony:
Maybe its just me, entirely possible seeings how I'm relatively new to this site, but Jim seems to spend a lot of these poem session defending himself. I've read some of his reviews and compared them side-by-side with Yatzhee's review of the same game and the later is much more scathing and unforgiving. And yet if these poems are anything to go by, Jim gets ten times the backlash, hate and snotty remarks. Am I missing something? I don't frequent the other sites Jim submits review to as often; are they just filling with frothing gamers who can't stand someone saying Heavy Rain was more boring than the Sheltering Sky?

Destructoid community members have been trying to coin a "Never forget Vanquish!" t-shirt in memoriam of Jim's score for it, and constantly whine about how he'll give a pass to something like CoD while complaining about Mario Kart. And they're pretty much brought up on every one of his reviews.

Personally I liked Jim's more this week, just because it was only a few days ago I saw yet another Destructoid review comments section raging about how terrible Jim's taste must be. XD

I find myself agreeing with his impressions fairly often, except where Sonic is concerned. Vanquish is a game I haven't been able to finish, with my emotions ranging between "This is all right... I'm having a bit of fun" to "ASLT:AJFSKL: EFF YOU GAME!" while playing it, while I can find a lot to love in The Witcher 2 there's really nothing about it that grabs me and makes me want to keep going, and the less said about Final Fantasy XIII the better.

It's why he's one of the few reviewers whose opinion I value beyond just a cursory examination of a game's mechanics or production values.

Thank you Yahtzee for reminding us all about how we chose to do a bad thing.

impocalyptic:
Thank you Yahtzee for reminding us all about how we chose to do a bad thing.

"Chose" might be too big of a word. In that scene, after I shot (commanded my pet white boy to snipe) the infinitely respawning snipers for the third time, I just knew I had made the wrong choice gameplay-wise.

Do we get to fight on the internet about the white phospherous section and/or all of spec ops again?

AC10:
Do we get to fight on the internet about the white phospherous section and/or all of spec ops again?

I suppose we could, but let's just not.

slash2x:
There is no BS "oh someone reviewed this game. BTW the page was paid for by the people who made the game, it got a 10 SURPRISE!"

Look up the Company of Heroes 2 review.

AC10:
Do we get to fight on the internet about the white phospherous section and/or all of spec ops again?

/grabs popcorn

Dis gonna be gud

OT: the Shooter poem had me giggling at the metaphors but when wp was mentioned I got kind of depressed and shit. God damnit Spec Ops.

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