Escape to the Movies: 2 Guns

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2 Guns

MovieBob gives his two cents on the upcoming 2 Guns.

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I'm glad our weekly dose of Bob's movie review wasn't sullied by the Smurfs. Thanks Bob! :)

Brief episode, guess we really are in a movie drought.

God do I hate this period in time; nothing interesting is released in movies or video games, and all that is left to do is to revisit classics/media from last year.

Ugh, also it's surprising that this movie was just ok, I thought that 2 Guns was quite lazy, but it's nice to know that it's at least functional.

To lend credence to how underwhelming and by-the-numbers Bob said it is, I hadn't even heard of 2 Guns before this review.

Though seeing as
1) I'm a sucker for mindless action films,
2) I really, really like Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg,
3) Bob gave it an "eeh, it's alright", I'll probably end up watching it on a lazy sunday afternoon in a few weeks time.

Never heard of 2 guns, most likely since word about it has been drowned out by the media bombardment of the Smurfs, god I can't wait for the ads to leave the air any sooner.

EDIT: Had to post a NSFW warning for the Brad Jones review of Smurfs 2.

I don't blame Bob for drawing the line on reviewing Smurfs 2. That and the first one are torture even the US government would not inflict on its enemies.

That said, I am enjoying Brad Jones and his friends offer their two cents on Smurfs 2.

Short version: It sucks and anyone that sees it will be driven into fits of rage that would have the Hulk tell you to take a deep breath. Worst part is that this movie was Jonathan Winters' last film before passing away. Plus Brad and company are shirtless in the video so enjoy the sexiness, boys and girls.

Long version (Seriously NSFW): http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/08/01/midnight-screenings-the-smurfs-2.aspx

As someone dragged to the Smurfs babysitting my niece, I can empathize with Bob here. I too am haunted by the nightmare of that film, it's dull lifelessness injecting itself into my brain every time I try and sleep.

Someday Bob, you will promise a fan that you will review any movie they choose.

I hope they choose Smurfs 2.

Gilhelmi:
Someday Bob, you will promise a fan that you will review any movie they choose.

I hope they choose Smurfs 2.

And that is why he'll never do a Child's Play auction ever again...

The bar for this year is so low, we're practically playing review limbo at this point...

That's great that you didn't subject yourself to the Smurfs.
I would see 2 Guns but today the world premiere of Pacific Rim finally managed to scramble over to my country.
So I'm gonna go see that.

I'm just wondering: if they do a sequel, what do they call it? 2 Guns 2? 4 Guns? Gun2s? Wahlberg's Guns?

I lost focus part way through there when Bob said 'could care less'.

I think I passed out from blind rage for a second...

Sounds like a fun, but forgettable movie.

I was hoping Bob would talk about Europa Report. Like many, i had never heard of 2 Guns either, but i hadn't heard of Europa Report until last Wednesday.

The Gentleman:

Gilhelmi:
Someday Bob, you will promise a fan that you will review any movie they choose.

I hope they choose Smurfs 2.

And that is why he'll never do a Child's Play auction ever again...

The bar for this year is so low, we're practically playing review limbo at this point...

Does.... Does an episode like that really exist? An Episode where Bob give a tortured but hilarious review of a movie no one in their right minds saw?

Oh please tell me that episode does exist. That would be superb.

Sorry but Elysium is going to suck. Too dark, too depressing.

Who exactly was wanting bob to review smurfs 2?

1. This movie is based on a comic called 2 Guns
2. There is already a sequel to the comic called 3 Guns
3. I completely understand not wanting to review Sumrfs 2, since it would cost a bit of your sanity to watch it, but sometimes it's interesting to watch a terrible movie just to tear it apart and make fun of it.

Wouldn't the reason bob gave for no smurfs 2 review be a weaker version of an excuse which could have been applied to fast and furious 6 (which had not only one horrible movie preceding it, but 5), yet which bob still liked? (Transformers could probably also go in there)

Not a chance of me going to see smurfs 2 either, but looking at his past videos doesn't seem like bob has anything against reviewing movies which everyone knows will suck.

Just want to say that Savages was a terrible movie, way too long and slow.

Also terrible endings, and I actually mean endings.

Not good enough Bob, I was expecting Smurfs 2, your fans demand you go and see it.

So, instead of Smurfs 2, he reviewed 2 Gun... does that make the movie "Smurfs2Guns", a movie with an INCREDIBLE stupid joke-name I just made up?

Don't worry Bob. :D Andre The Black Nerd already took care of Smurfs 2.

Anyway, what's next to review? Or are you going to go back and review Man Of Steel again, like you said you might?

Grimh:
That's great that you didn't subject yourself to the Smurfs.
I would see 2 Guns but today the world premiere of Pacific Rim finally managed to scramble over to my country.
So I'm gonna go see that.

A wise choice, giant robots versus Godzilla beat out a buddy action movie anyway. And it has the same selling point as 2 Guns, its not the Smurfs.

Gilhelmi:

The Gentleman:

Gilhelmi:
Someday Bob, you will promise a fan that you will review any movie they choose.

I hope they choose Smurfs 2.

And that is why he'll never do a Child's Play auction ever again...

The bar for this year is so low, we're practically playing review limbo at this point...

Does.... Does an episode like that really exist? An Episode where Bob give a tortured but hilarious review of a movie no one in their right minds saw?

Oh please tell me that episode does exist. That would be superb.

Well, there was Twilight: Breaking Dawn I & II. Albeit the torture is enhanced by his love for the Tanuki Suit.

Ickabod:
Sorry but Elysium is going to suck. Too dark, too depressing.

Why does dark and depressing mean its going to suck? Not all movies have to be happy and funny.

CaptainThom:

Ickabod:
Sorry but Elysium is going to suck. Too dark, too depressing.

Why does dark and depressing mean its going to suck? Not all movies have to be happy and funny.

I think it's because we've been inundated with movies and video games like that recently, and we're getting sick of it. I thought we got past that type when it was in comic books.

OT: 2 guns looks kinda meh, nothing we haven't seen before. I thought today's review would be Meet the Millers.

Bob you don't have to cover the smurfs lol.

and no a movie doesn't have to be happy. But for me when a movie goes out of it's way "I'm going to be dark and depressing at all costs."

and it counts on miserable people (like people I know) to never question how unrealistic that is, it becomes one of those movies.

The hopeless zombie apoc where everything sucks, for example and if your not there to watch the people get eaten (like some of the miserable people i know lol go to watch)

your wasting your time.

I think a depressing movie should kind surprise you, instead of waving it's arms back and forth "ha teen age wangst movie here!"

Did Denzel make any guarantees this time around? You know what I'm talking about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg71ZNlZRX4

Bob, Who ever wanted you to review Surfs 2, should be dragged out into a back alley and shot, for the good of the human race.

There are some weeks, this isn't one of them, where two or more movies, that you should review come out, one those weeks, perhaps adding 2ish min to the run time length of escape to the movies and then spiting the time between both of them would be nice. Or doing the review in one of your columns, there have been several releases this year, I was surprised you did not review.

Sel

Well that settles it then, you now have to see and review Smurfs 2, just because you don't want to and I want to drink your tears of frustration. We all know its going to be a bad movie, but I want to know how bad it really is but without the pain of seeing it myself, we have you for that Bob, so hop to it my good man.

Smuuuuuuurfs! Bloody blue garden pests is what they are! Smuuuuurfs!! Nurse! NURSE! It's happening again!

For some reason, I begin to rupture blood vessels out of pure hatred whenever smurfs are brought into the picture. Any picture. I'd like to flood their stupid mushroom village with pesticides and move in with the lawn mower.

Smuuurffffss!!

(Thank you for sparing me as much agony as possible. I'd have watched a review of a decomposing swan rather than the Smurfs)

MovieBob:
MovieBob gives his two cents on the upcoming 2 Guns.

You know Bob, I'm honestly surprised you didn't review R.I.P.D. I mean the thing was only advertised on this site with banners, pre-video ads, and box ads for WEEKS. Any particular reason you skipped over that one?

I guess I'm just evil, but I had my hopes up that we'd get to hear Bob rip into Smurfs 2 for 4 to 5 minutes. Lots of good kids movies out there so when they poop out a bad one some needs to rip it apart.

I kind of laughed when he said he would rather review a movie with two "middling actors", I am guess he meant not top stars, but Geez, if Denzel and Walberg aren't two of our bigger stars right now.. Though I really think we don't have an Arnold, Hanks, Prime Cruise, to hold movies right now.. Tatum, Hemsworth, might do it if they get a super movie, non-super hero.

Grimh:
That's great that you didn't subject yourself to the Smurfs.
I would see 2 Guns but today the world premiere of Pacific Rim finally managed to scramble over to my country.
So I'm gonna go see that.

What backwater country do you live in? Zimbabwe? North Korea? The Republic of Congo?

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