No Right Answer: What Should Michael Bay do?

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We're not talking about Michael Bay anymore.
Personally I think he'd end the ME3 movie on a big Reaper explosion with Shepard grabbing Ashley's ass and back lit by a liens flare. On to the normal ending.

RJ 17:

Oh, and as for this little blurb:

NFrom any sort of literary analysis the end of Mass Effect 3 is a complete failure. That ship has sailed, sank, and caught on fire at the bottom of the ocean some how.

That's simply not true, it was just a failure in your eyes.

The only ship that has sailed, sank, and spontaneously combusted is the S.S. AttemptToConvinceYouOtherwise. So I'm not going to bother.

Reaper logic makes perfect sense.
Humans (Organics are self destructive by nature. I mean look at US! We re pumping CO2 into the atmosphere at high enough levels to fuck with weather patterns. Any (Smart enough) machine told to protect us would kill 90% of us because the remaining 10% just don't have enough man power to make the planet unlivable.

And as it stands Destroy, indoctrinate and space magic (Personally I think of Synthesis as Robo-cancer-camoflaudge. That Green radiation gives organics electric fields that mimic electric fields so Synthetics can't detect them} Are all valid enough ways to stop the reapers from saving our lives.

It's not the bones of the ending that are broken.

The things that break the ending are the Crucible (Everything about the Crucible) and the Exposition dump at the of the game (Which is completely broken) (Which should be painfully apparent to you because you and everyone else had to guess what they meant even after seeing them. There is a difference between "Open to interpretation" and "They didn't explain it")

Basing the whole story and struggle around the Crucible without (The writers?) knowing what it was supposed to be, that is bad writing. I'm sure you've heard this before: If the Crucible works by connecting to the Citadel, but it wasn't until many cycles into it's development that Citadel integration was even included in the design what would the civilization who started it do if they finished it? Especially since it's just a battery.

It's stuff like that that breaks the ending. Along with the Star child not being able to say 2 sentences without contradicting himself.

The bones of the ending work, it's everything else that doesn't

I feel the need to clarify some things:

1. I know that Venus from the Next Mutation existed and has since been retconned because of that show being less-than-favorable. I think that a female Turtle would be a fun idea to mix up the formula, but adding one doesn't work because she'd just be assumed as the "other". Make her one of the established 4, none of which were ever inherently "male" beyond just being mentioned as brothers, and you give her a chance of being a real character instead of the token girl version standing next to April.

2. Megan Fox hasn't done anything wrong yet with the character of April. Everyone hates her because of her role in Transformers as Sam's Girl, a character made up just to fil the need for a female in the cast, but her she's got an actual established character. Let's see what she does before we tell her she's not allowed in our movie. At least she's not Lindsay Lohan, so yes, it could be far worse. Still a shame she's not Amy Adams or Emma Stone though.

3. Damn dudes, Michael Bay made a movie you didn't like, not held down your grandma and slit her throat. The guy doesn't deserve anything near death. Shake your head disapprovingly at worse, but seriously, chill out on saying he deserves to be murdered due to making Transformers relevant in mainstreasm culture again.

4. I really liked Mass Effect 3 and cried at the ending where I was supposed to. I never saw the problem people had with it. Also, amazing that the discussion jumped from Bay's TMNT to Mass Effect 3. Good on you, Thane.

My TMNT movie idea:

The ninja turtles came to be because of toxic waste brought on by raw extraterrestrial material from Planet X while building shredder, a secret government human enhancement project funded by the Japanese Military. April is a conspiracy writer and befriends the turtles so she can prove her findings.

Splinter, Beebop and Rocksteady are 'failed' experiments of the 'shredder' program. But where Splinter, a jin-jitsu teaching immigrant down on his luck in need of cash, decided to remain peaceful even if he had to take sanctuary in the sewers. Beebop and Rocksteady rebelled against the system that forced them into becoming monsters, and so created the footclan. A group of hoodlums and hardcore criminals.

So now its up to the five ninja turtles to start their training and defeat the completed shredder project and free the city of the footclan's crimewaves.

However which way Michael Bay decides to carry out his autopsy on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle franchise, it cannot possibly be any worse than the suggestions that were fielded during this episode of No Right Answer.

Mikeyfell:
Michael Bay should make the Mass Effect 3 movie. (Not the first two, just 3)

It's right up his alley.
There's no deep substance, it's all explosions and shitty romance. He can go nuts with the special effects, and he can ignore all the shitty stuff that happened in the game and spend all his time on Earth jerking off his human military fetish.

It might actually turn out better then what Bioware gave us.

That's what he should work on after he finishes TMNT

Mr. Q:
When I saw the title What Should Michael Bay Do?, my first thought was immediate...

Commit seppuku!

Yup, slit your belly to cleanse Hollywood of the dishonor you have brought upon cinema.

Bay is a hack, imo, who is only good at making trash and NOT HANDLING POPULAR FRANCHISES BELOVED BY FANS YOUNG AND OLD! He's Roger Corman but with less talent and a bigger budget. The only reason he got the job for Transformers and producing TMNT is because Paramount didn't want to lose a cash cow but were too fucking retarded to notice that he doesn't care about these properties at all. He's basically a pricy disinterested whore. He'll do the job but won't put too much of an effort so long as no one notices.

As for the idea of giving Bay anymore properties to butcher... or any work ever again for that matter, here is my short reply to that...

image

These two comments deserve an award ( you know like those god-awful movie awards ) like comment of the year or something. It's rare that I see a comment that hits the nail on the head let alone two of them on one forum.

What should Bay do? Hum, how about grow a set to do original movies instead of having to gut other franchises to make it his own. Pain and Gain brings in about $50 million out of a $26 million production cost but that's not good enough for the Bay ego.

Personally I'd love for the guy to either retire and shutter Platinum Dunes forever or people to grow a little taste and stop going to the sorry excuse for a movie he does just because they advertise the crap out of them or they run the trailer in front of almost everything. As bad as Bay is the people who go to see his movies are even worse because they are why Hollywood says we don't have to make better films these rubes will watch anything.

No way that I'm going to watch the Turtles train wreck. Fox is so horrible at acting she make the SyFy movie of the week look like Oscar winners. No Asians in the cast to play Japanese characters yea this is sounding like old racist Hollywood instead of modern Hollywood. I'll just stick with the cartoon on Nick because that's how you re-invent something without having to throw everything out.

1) Make the movie about the Turtles, not Casey Jones.

2) Shredder should remain a villain, he shouldn't just become a minor villain so the turtles can go fight Krang.

3) Don't make one of the turtles female as none of their personality matches a female character. Also the Venus turtle was hated for a reason.

I'd be happy at this point if he just stopped giving Megan Fox work...

Chris Pranger:
I feel the need to clarify some things:

1. I know that Venus from the Next Mutation existed and has since been retconned because of that show being less-than-favorable. I think that a female Turtle would be a fun idea to mix up the formula, but adding one doesn't work because she'd just be assumed as the "other". Make her one of the established 4, none of which were ever inherently "male" beyond just being mentioned as brothers, and you give her a chance of being a real character instead of the token girl version standing next to April.

You can't condemn Michael Bay for making Shredder a Caucasian while at the same time wanting to make an even bigger change to one of the 4 turtles. All 4 turtles have male personalities and fulfil a specific role in the team so you can't make one of them female without greatly changing the character and the whole team's structure. So expect a huge fan backlash if you ever do something so stupid.

Seriously if you want to get an idea of just how many problems changing the gender of a turtle will cause try writing an alternate universe fanfiction where one of the turtles is female and ask people for comments about it. Unless you're a genius at writing characters the female turtle will either be considered a "man with tits" (figuratively speaking) or seem radically different from their male counterpart. The former fails because there's nothing feminine about them so the audience will hate you for making a character female for no reason, while the latter fails because you're effectively replacing one of the original turtles with your new character (which fans of this turtle will hate).

4. I really liked Mass Effect 3 and cried at the ending where I was supposed to. I never saw the problem people had with it. Also, amazing that the discussion jumped from Bay's TMNT to Mass Effect 3. Good on you, Thane.

The problem was that nothing you did had any effect on the ending and the only observable difference between all 3 endings was the colour of the explosion (though fan protests did eventually for Bioware to clarify the ending it still didn't make much sense). The fact that you didn't notice anything wrong with it shows that you have very poor evaluation skills.

GamemasterAnthony:

RJ 17:

Infernai:

Good....GOOOOOD! Let the hatred flow through you 17! Remember Biowares false promises, how they lied to you and countless others. The condescension, the months of sheer chaos they fostered upon the internet. Even now they spout their falsehoods, think you a fool, luring ever more weak minds with their lies. Even now one of their slaves tempts you down their false path, and only seek to sap you of your will. Bioware- No, E.A! Want to make you nothing more then a shadow of your former self, indoctrinate you as the reaper did the protheans.

But you are stronger then that, we are all stronger! Not since the fall of the Sonic fandom has the internet drowned in such anger and hate! Even though a year has passed, the fandom that was once so united stands in ruin. The negativity has not died, and it feeds us. And given this is a topic based upon Michael Bay, our already vast power only grows!

*turns to RJ 17* Use your aggressive feelings. Strike him down and your journey to the dark side will be complete!

*turns off his lightsaber and throws it away* Never...I'll never turn to the Dark Side. You have failed, Your Highness. For I am a true fan, like many others before me.

Oh dear crap...that had to be the nerdiest series of responses I have seen thus far to this thread or ANY thread on the Escapist so far! Props to BOTH you guys nearly making me soil myself laughing!

Not a problem, glad to be of service.

So... I'm just waiting for someone to point out that Kyle and Chris just might have their information wrong on this one? I've been doing a lot of research but can't find a single thing about any of the turtles being women. The cast listing, and the pictures of the guys on set that I see are all just that, guys. This isn't taking into account the rumors of the leaked script back in January, which mention the possibility of a 5'th turtle being a girl, but so far from what I've seen in the casting all of the main turtles are still guys. So.... I guess... chill? Unless I'm missing something. lol

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