Grand Theft Auto 5 Review - People Suck

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lacktheknack:
If someone unironically brings up the DA2 review, I will headslam them until they understand the concept of "Not Much Is Objective In Game Reviewing God Dammit".

I think you were already too late in that, unfortunately. It has been brought up a few times already and I'm running my irony meter over them just now.

Ranorak:
Question, IS there some sort of Checkpoint system with the missions?

If not, I'm going to skip this game all together.
I HATE having to drive for 10 minutes to the same fucking place, with the same fucking dialogue, for the 4th fucking time, because I got shot while I was trying to find cover, but instead just bumped into stuff in GTA 4.

Yes, there is a checkpoint system, and the missions are generally fun.

Greg

Teoes:

lacktheknack:
If someone unironically brings up the DA2 review, I will headslam them until they understand the concept of "Not Much Is Objective In Game Reviewing God Dammit".

I think you were already too late in that, unfortunately. It has been brought up a few times already and I'm running my irony meter over them just now.

I'm giving the first two the benefit of the doubt.

If they pop in again to clarify their state of non-irony, then the headslamming will proceed. :D

There are WAY too many "100" critic scores over on Metacritic for me to trust any of them.

Definitely going to give Greg's review additional weight and wait to read the most coherent user reviews later this week.

3.5 WTF, even Polygon gave it a 9.5. I'm gonna have to actually read it now.

Andy Shandy:
And a tough week for the mods gets even harder. XD

Are you kidding, it's like Christmas for us!

Wait no, what's the opposite of Christmas? Uhhhh... It's like Armageddon! I like to think I'm the Bruce Willis of the Mod team, though obviously that means I'm probably going to die in a heroic ball of flames in a little while... =[

OT: I don't understand the huge weight of a few little score numbers. Personally, if you like the game, great! Go enjoy it! If you don't, then fine! Go enjoy something else! :D

Can't we all just sit down in front of the TV with our children, talk to them, and hit them?

Hoooooooooooly hell, there are SO MANY 100s on Metacritic. Sheesh.

I predict New-Account Rage in the near future.

RIP, mods.

sky14kemea:
OT: I don't understand the huge weight of a few little score numbers. Personally, if you like the game, great! Go enjoy it! If you don't, then fine! Go enjoy something else! :D

If it were anyone else, I'd be really tempted to post that Willy Wonka 'you must be new here' gif. How dare you hold such a laid-back and easy going nature? Don't you know you're supposed to be mortally wounded when a game you've not yet played but instinctively know is the best thing ever, isn't given a perfect score and buried underneath roses and lacy underwear?

I'd be inclined to believe that the game's lack of morality is a true problem considering that the reviewer over at Gamespot also picked up on it. It's not going to stop me from purchasing it though, I mean how many games truly give weight to their acts of killing? Like it or not, we're part of a medium in which killing is often fun. Yes, this generation has seen a recent crop of games which tried to provide morality to the act, whether that be through the lens of revenge or self defence, but the fact is the vast majority of games have "don't care" attitudes towards murder. It's a shame that a developer with Rockstar's reputation perhaps didn't go for a more mature take on things, and the fact that reviewers are willing to point this out should be applauded.

vini77:
Wow, so let me get this straight. The 3 mass murdering psychopathic criminal protagonists aren't likeable enough? That's your criticism of the game. What a horrendous review.

http://www.metacritic.com/game/xbox-360/grand-theft-auto-v/critic-reviews

Game currently has 99/100 on Metacritic, and this horrible review isn't going to change the fact that it's the best game of this generation. After playing it for over 4 days, I can safely say that.

Ok first of all, he gave it a 3.5 stars out of 5. That's a 7. That's a good review. Second of all, the fact that he isn't falling into line with the status quo shouldn't be grounds for criticism. Third of all, the game doesn't come out till tomorrow, how do you know how good it is?

vini77:
Wow, so let me get this straight. The 3 mass murdering psychopathic criminal protagonists aren't likeable enough? That's your criticism of the game. What a horrendous review.

http://www.metacritic.com/game/xbox-360/grand-theft-auto-v/critic-reviews

Game currently has 99/100 on Metacritic, and this horrible review isn't going to change the fact that it's the best game of this generation. After playing it for over 4 days, I can safely say that.

The game was ruined for him by the characters. What more do you want from him?

Also: That's one.

I'm guessing there's going to be eighty of these new accounts that pop in here just to attack Greg Tito. Any bets, guys?

Teoes:

sky14kemea:
OT: I don't understand the huge weight of a few little score numbers. Personally, if you like the game, great! Go enjoy it! If you don't, then fine! Go enjoy something else! :D

If it were anyone else, I'd be really tempted to post that Willy Wonka 'you must be new here' gif. How dare you hold such a laid-back and easy going nature? Don't you know you're supposed to be mortally wounded when a game you've not yet played but instinctively know is the best thing ever, isn't given a perfect score and buried underneath roses and lacy underwear?

You're right, I've been blinded by this comedy show in my other tab! Clearly it's time for pitchforks and fire. Meet me at sundown by the old bell tower, we'll lynch this monster for good!

Maybe I am a little optimistic, it's probably why I don't usually read reviews unless I don't plan on playing the game anyway. I don't mind passionate people as long as the insults don't start flying. =P

Bottom Line: A technical achievement, GTAV's driving and shooting gameplay in an excellently crafted open world is marred by a script that presents despicable characters as the protagonists.

Recommendation: It's certainly fun to be the bad guy sometimes, but only buy Grand Theft Auto V if you're prepared to play as characters with no justifiable motivation for doing awful things to people.

That's part of the whole point of GTA. Looks like it finally cast off the chains of angsty sob stories and created a game where the whole point is to be a lying, stealing, murdering arsehole - or not, if you don't want to. This pushes new boundaries of player freedom. To be, or not to be...

Essentially, the biggest complaint apart from the justifiable complaints about gunplay seems to be that well, it's GTA without a hint of a conscience. Just as it should be... heh heh heh.

Greg Tito:

Calibanbutcher:
Just one thing I forgot to add: So "killing not being fun but actually unpleasant" is NOT pushing the boundaries of video-games?

Are you saying that we should STRIVE for mindless run-and-gun violence in video-games instead of an immersive experience with a narrative that actually gives killing some wheight?

The game doesn't give killing any weight, unfortunately. I wish it did. I wish there was any remorse displayed by the characters. Instead you get mindless screaming and lame quips.

But you spend the entire review telling us how non-gamey the death is and how horrible it is to bear witness to. But now it's mindless and zaney again. Now there's "no weight" to the killing. Every quote you offer is contrary to the last.

I don't think you actually know what you think of the game and simply wanted a review up.

sky14kemea:

Andy Shandy:
And a tough week for the mods gets even harder. XD

Are you kidding, it's like Christmas for us!

Wait no, what's the opposite of Christmas? Uhhhh... It's like Armageddon! I like to think I'm the Bruce Willis of the Mod team, though obviously that means I'm probably going to die in a heroic ball of flames in a little while... =[

Marter can be Ben Affleck! Which also makes him the Batmod to your Spidermod. It's perfect :D

God, waiting for the PC version is going to be a nightmare...

Good review Mr. Tito! While I disagree that the main characters being thugs is that of a big detraction, I can understand why it might be unpalatable for people.

Let me get this straight, so not only is Grand Theft Auto 5 around 30% worse that Dragon Age 2, it's not even worth Hate/10?

Now I regret spending 120 on the Collector's Edition... or at least I would if I lived in a parallel world where I make my decisions based on other people's opinions. However, according to Parallel Universe theory, at this point in time there's another me who feels like he's been kicked in the balls and is regretting his pre-order. I'm glad I'm not that guy.

I suppose also according to Parallel Universe theory, at this point in time there's now at least 100 Greg Titos who have all made Rockstar's Shitlist, but with varying degrees of severity and consequence.

Let's hope our universe is more merciful than the one where the Scottish Empire rules the world, or the one where Voodoo is the most popular organised religion and videogame publishers have all the dolls.

I'm not a fan of GTA..because it's just not for me. But the criticism seems a bit off. What more character motivation then more power and more money do you need in a game in this setting?

That's like downgrading Just cause 2 because the mercenary doesn't have a flushed out backstory

Ihniwid:
Dragon Age 2 was a helluva game...

Ah you beat me to it! The number one reason that this review should be taken with a pretty big grain of salt. Like the kind that they give to horses.

ccdohl:

Ihniwid:
Dragon Age 2 was a helluva game...

Ah you beat me to it! The number one reason that this review should be taken with a pretty big grain of salt. Like the kind that they give to horses.

"This review should be taken with a salt lick" just doesn't sound right lol.

Sounds pretty good to me. I quite like the idea of being a criminal mastermind.

Andy Shandy:
And a tough week for the mods gets even harder. XD

Aww, I only just cleaned my banhammer!

I completely disagree with this review. I don't disagree with the reviewer's right to have an opinion on the matter but this is the only review that I've read where I feel that the reviewer has missed something here.

The protagonists are supposed to be evil, morally corrupt and downright debased. If that turns you off the game then that's okay, genuinely that's fine. But when a review criticises not being able to kill someone in a 'gamey' enough way then I draw the line there.

Games are experiences, and this is an experience. Personally I can't wait to play this game and experience it, but this review strikes a bad note with me. It just does.

I get it.

Being a horrible person in a video game because of the awful things you do in that video game is a pretty good time. That's why I can run around freeze-shattering and Abduct-O-Matic'ing people in Saints' Row 4 and have a ball.

Supporting the actions of truly horrible people as scripted by other people, however, is much different and arguably not as much fun. It's all about how often you're in control of the character as opposed to how often the script is. From this review, it sounds like this game doesn't strike a balance suitable to the reviewer (or to me, admittedly).

--Morology!

Well, I guess the amazing quality of Dragon Age 2 has spoiled all other video games for you.

Your criticisms are valid and solid but they don't apply to me.
So while I understand and respect why you didn't like what you did I know that I will enjoy those bits.
So apparently this game is gonna be golden for me :D

vini77:
Wow, so let me get this straight. The 3 mass murdering psychopathic criminal protagonists aren't likeable enough? That's your criticism of the game. This must be that new account rage someone bought up, because this review is terrible. Completely misses the point.

Yet everyone deemed it as a valid complaint for the kane and lynch games.

"Main selling point of GTA is playing as a massive sociopath."

"Waaaahhhhh the game made me play as a massive sociopath! :( "

For fuck sake, this is GTA. That is not a valid complaint.

Greg Tito:

Ranorak:
Question, IS there some sort of Checkpoint system with the missions?

If not, I'm going to skip this game all together.
I HATE having to drive for 10 minutes to the same fucking place, with the same fucking dialogue, for the 4th fucking time, because I got shot while I was trying to find cover, but instead just bumped into stuff in GTA 4.

Yes, there is a checkpoint system, and the missions are generally fun.

Greg

Excellent, think I'll get it having read the review. The way I see it is we all have it in us to be total dicks just for the sake of being a total dick so this is a game that we'll all enjoy from time to time if we just let that side of us out. There's a game for every facet of a person's personality. When I feel like being a great military leader I've got a ton of strategy games, when I feel like being a hero in space I've got sci-fi games out the proverbial ass, when I feel like...me I've got RPGs that let me be me in a ton of different settings.

This is why I still visit the Escapist everyday after nearly eight years(!!!)

Reviewers with opinions that actually gets expressed, not watered down, edited out or replaced with weasel speak. It's interesting that the characters in this come across so completely unlikable, I expected that for Trevor, but was hoping the other two would at least have deeper characterisations than plain bad guys.

Still my favourite GTA protagonist is still CJ, playing the straight man forced into rapidly escalating crazy situations, by the end he's as much a gang banger as his brother, but at least a sympathetic one.

Greg Tito:

maniacfox:
I think you are missing the point, the original GTA was purely that. A scumbag criminal who would do anything for $$$, so in that sense, in my mind anyway, it is getting back to the original ethos of the game. As much as I like a good story I found the more cut scenes I had to sit through in GTA IV, the less I cared about the story. It's about balance, so I will be curious to see how this game pans out.

First off, GTA3 started with the main character's betrayal and for some reason that gives me something to hold on to for a motivation. Also, we're in a much different world than in 2000, and several things have changed to make me judge GTAV differently. I plan on writing more on this game in an editorial which will hopefully clear up a lot of questions.

Greg

You can look at this in a different light. That is crime and criminals aren't to be looked up to, or held up as anti-heroes. That sometimes bad guys are just BAD GUYS and there is no redemption, there is nothing good about them. Some people are true sociopaths, and maybe R* is trying to tell that story.
I am kind of sickened we live in a world where Walter White is looked up to, when in truth he's not a hero but a sick man using his sickness as an excuse to be a bad guy. Where people can say Tony Soprano wasn't a villain, but misunderstood.

lacktheknack:

I'm guessing there's going to be eighty of these new accounts that pop in here just to attack Greg Tito. Any bets, guys?

That's a conservative estimate, methinks. XD

vini77:
Wow, so let me get this straight. The 3 mass murdering psychopathic criminal protagonists aren't likeable enough? That's your criticism of the game. This must be that new account rage someone bought up, because this review is terrible. Completely misses the point.

http://www.metacritic.com/game/xbox-360/grand-theft-auto-v/critic-reviews

Game currently has 99/100 on Metacritic, and this lazy review isn't going to change the fact that it's the best game of this generation. After playing it for over 4 days, I can safely say that.

You know there are plenty other websites giving perfect 10s that you can jizz your pants over, if you need somebody to validate your opinion, for whatever reason.

lacktheknack:
If someone unironically brings up the DA2 review, I will headslam them until they understand the concept of "Not Much Is Objective In Game Reviewing God Dammit".

I think you better commence that head-slamming. =P

So basically Houser TRIED to just cut out the BS and make the characters scumbags...but also forgot to at least make them INTERESTING scumbags. He seems to have forgotten why a lot of criminal characters WORKED (though to be fair Godfather Part II is also meant to be viewed as a sort of tragedy; Michael DOES lose his morality but it's meant to be seen as a tragic act). He tried to have his cake and eat it by making the main characters reprehensible, but also forgot when you do that you end up giving the audience NO ONE to hang onto as relatable or even likable thus eliminating any reason to get invested in the narrative. Sure, SRIV had a sociopath as the protagonist, but THAT game was a spoof (though oddly enough a lot of the character moments actually worked and could let you get behind the Boss or the other Saints). There's a reason why Joe Pesci wasn't the main character in Goodfellas.

sky14kemea:
Wait no, what's the opposite of Christmas?

A traditional Jewish Christmas at a south-Manhattan Chinese restaurant. Fun times...

OT: Good mechanics, good visuals, okay writing, detestable characters. Sounds like GTA finally gave me what I was looking for in protagonists.

Sounds like this is a game that needs a second opinion from someone else in the staff. Not to discount Tito's review, but if it's being able to connect with the characters that's the problem, the issues may be more subjective than one likes, making this a prime candidate for a second look.

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