Escape to the Movies: Machete Kills

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Machete Kills

MovieBob cuts into the latest Machete movie.

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Intestines being pulled out and Clutch in the soundtrack? A movie after my own heart.

Interesting review, Bob. I'm surprised you could show gore in this review since I remember you had to cut back on showing them.

It's just way more fun to say "Carlos Estévez" than it is to say "Charlie Sheen". Just sayin.

Were there any kills you left out of this review? Damn...
It was nice how Charlie used his real name this time. I hope he does it again.

ZZoMBiE13:
It's just way more fun to say "Carlos Esteves" than it is to say "Charlie Sheen". Just sayin.

It's spelled "Estévez", by the way.

So is this one as intentionally shitty looking as the first?

Because that was so goddamn obnoxious I couldn't even finish it.

Machete don't tweet.

Having only recently gotten around to watching The West Wing, I can't help but want to pretend this movie features the never-mentioned son of Jed Bartlet.

"If there's one drawback is that they've dialed down on the gore."

*Watches man get intestines ripped out and tangled in helicopter rotors where he's sliced to pieces.*

...I'm guessing I just don't watch enough of this kind of stuff to think of it as "dialed down."

We need to get the Kickmaster into Dive Kick. ;)

I loved Spy Kids 3d. Maybe because I was primary parent with my kids, always watching kid movies and was entertainment starved. I recall a pre-Expendables Stallone getting very good reviews for his fun and nutty portrayal.

I also somewhere between like and love Kevin Smith. I don't think he's lived up to his potential, but many a career goes by without ever hitting the highs of a Clerks I, Clerks 2, Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob, Chasing Amy, heck, even his cameo in Die Hard 4! He is a terrific force. Ooops. Forgot Dogma. How many film makers do anything at all like that one? Yeah, Jersey Girl and Red State were horrible misfires, but he deserves a think piece just about him.

vid87:
"If there's one drawback is that they've dialed down on the gore."

*Watches man get intestines ripped out and tangled in helicopter rotors where he's sliced to pieces.*

...I'm guessing I just don't watch enough of this kind of stuff to think of it as "dialed down."

From the clips Bob showed, there are at least two helicopter-related deaths that are shown explicitly. Maybe it's just the result of Schlocktober desensitizing him.

Wait, WHAT? Trejo is 69 now?!?! Damn...he looks good for pushing 70. Can't wait to watch it this weekend!!!

And of course Bob continues his "I have to talk about something ungodly liberal in every review" cliche. He's becoming like Brian in Family Guy, started out full of wit and humor as a straight man and devolving into a liberal cliche.

C'mom Bob, not everything has to be about something.

Also, border security isn't "anti-Mexican". While I know some people do have racist intentions, the majority of Americans that support border security just want to be secure. Most of them don't mind good, hardworking, TAX PAYING, LEGAL immigration, and most support making becoming legal easier for those who deserve it (i.e. not drug dealer, rapist ect).

Not everything in life is fueled by racism and sexism, and while they still do exist (and probably always will since stupid people can't be exterminated), it's not the end-all, be-all to everything, and consistently using it is like the boy crying wolf to the point most people don't care.

One last point
-I personally think the US should intervene in the cartel wars in Mexico NOW! I saw the Extra Credits about "Call of Juarez" and googled "Mexican Drug War" and got my first hand view of how horrible it is, and why people would want to get the hell out of there. I think the destruction of the cartels by US forces would allow a lot of peace an opportunity to return to Mexico, allowing people to return and be with family and friends they left behind. A safe and secure Mexico is good for Mexicans and Americans.

Let's not forget he is still the uncle to the Spy Kids in this movie. This is technically in the same universe as those movies, so there is complete justification for the crazy sci-fi stuff.

Ever since Red State (a film that wasn't even that bad), Bob seems to have in for Kevin Smith recently, despite previously implying enjoyment of his past work. Confusing.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the first Machete and while I knew this wouldn't be as "smart", from the sounds of it it's definitely more "dumb". Mel Gibson abducts Mexicans into space? Mecha-boobs? I'll have a look when I get the chance, hopefully soon.

I should check out the first movie someday...

i think i will watch it. enjoyed the first one which is just a crazy over the top action movie and this new one looks the same. just have to wait for it still until its out in australia.

Gorfias:
I also somewhere between like and love Kevin Smith. I don't think he's lived up to his potential, but many a career goes by without ever hitting the highs of a Clerks I, Clerks 2, Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob, Chasing Amy, heck, even his cameo in Die Hard 4! He is a terrific force. Ooops. Forgot Dogma. How many film makers do anything at all like that one? Yeah, Jersey Girl and Red State were horrible misfires, but he deserves a think piece just about him.

I feel the same way about Kevin Smith. I loved his View Askew movies and I even enjoyed Jersey Girl (George Carlin was top notch in Kevin's movies imo). I even got a VHS copy of Clerks autographed by Smith and Jason Mewes. He had great potential to become one of the greats but, somewhere down the road, he just went off the rails and hasn't been the same since. I hope he has an intervention and gets his act together.

I actually remember people, including James Rolfe (the Angry video Game Nerd who's all about movies) complaining that the message in the first Machete kind of "hurt the buzz" for that movie, like most people just wanted straight-up junky action rather then getting politics involved. Ironic, considering Bob apparently praised that movie and put down The Expendables (at the time, anyway) simply for being more then just junky action.

Nice to see that joke add at the end of the last Machete movie actually turned into something decent.

Also, good to see that Bob has finally run out of books.

chetoos:
Let's not forget he is still the uncle to the Spy Kids in this movie. This is technically in the same universe as those movies, so there is complete justification for the crazy sci-fi stuff.

I was going to reply to you that many of his characters follow that pattern, but are not related. Then I discovered that in the last Machete he is credited as Machete CORTEZ and it almost blew my head.

Brockyman:
And of course Bob continues his "I have to talk about something ungodly liberal in every review" cliche. He's becoming like Brian in Family Guy, started out full of wit and humor as a straight man and devolving into a liberal cliche.

C'mom Bob, not everything has to be about something.

Also, border security isn't "anti-Mexican". While I know some people do have racist intentions, the majority of Americans that support border security just want to be secure. Most of them don't mind good, hardworking, TAX PAYING, LEGAL immigration, and most support making becoming legal easier for those who deserve it (i.e. not drug dealer, rapist ect).

Not everything in life is fueled by racism and sexism, and while they still do exist (and probably always will since stupid people can't be exterminated), it's not the end-all, be-all to everything, and consistently using it is like the boy crying wolf to the point most people don't care.

One last point
-I personally think the US should intervene in the cartel wars in Mexico NOW! I saw the Extra Credits about "Call of Juarez" and googled "Mexican Drug War" and got my first hand view of how horrible it is, and why people would want to get the hell out of there. I think the destruction of the cartels by US forces would allow a lot of peace an opportunity to return to Mexico, allowing people to return and be with family and friends they left behind. A safe and secure Mexico is good for Mexicans and Americans.

If I were you, I'd run for the nearest bunker. The cries of "racism" are not far off, my friend. And I agree both on the issue itself and the fact that I think the only real reason Bob didn't like the movie as much is because it's not liberal and preachy enough for him.

LysanderNemoinis:

Brockyman:
And of course Bob continues his "I have to talk about something ungodly liberal in every review" cliche. He's becoming like Brian in Family Guy, started out full of wit and humor as a straight man and devolving into a liberal cliche.

C'mom Bob, not everything has to be about something.

Also, border security isn't "anti-Mexican". While I know some people do have racist intentions, the majority of Americans that support border security just want to be secure. Most of them don't mind good, hardworking, TAX PAYING, LEGAL immigration, and most support making becoming legal easier for those who deserve it (i.e. not drug dealer, rapist ect).

Not everything in life is fueled by racism and sexism, and while they still do exist (and probably always will since stupid people can't be exterminated), it's not the end-all, be-all to everything, and consistently using it is like the boy crying wolf to the point most people don't care.

One last point
-I personally think the US should intervene in the cartel wars in Mexico NOW! I saw the Extra Credits about "Call of Juarez" and googled "Mexican Drug War" and got my first hand view of how horrible it is, and why people would want to get the hell out of there. I think the destruction of the cartels by US forces would allow a lot of peace an opportunity to return to Mexico, allowing people to return and be with family and friends they left behind. A safe and secure Mexico is good for Mexicans and Americans.

If I were you, I'd run for the nearest bunker. The cries of "racism" are not far off, my friend. And I agree both on the issue itself and the fact that I think the only real reason Bob didn't like the movie as much is because it's not liberal and preachy enough for him.

Which is why Bob said he liked the movie...therefore he hated it. He said that one part he really liked in the last movie wasn't as prevalent in this one. He still said that this was his kind of movie. That usually means that he liked it. Man, I know Bob attracts trolls like flies to honey but this is ridiculous.

OT: Interesting review. I still think it isn't my movie though, so I'll give it a pass.

Brockyman:
And of course Bob continues his "I have to talk about something ungodly liberal in every review" cliche. He's becoming like Brian in Family Guy, started out full of wit and humor as a straight man and devolving into a liberal cliche.

C'mom Bob, not everything has to be about something.

Also, border security isn't "anti-Mexican". While I know some people do have racist intentions, the majority of Americans that support border security just want to be secure. Most of them don't mind good, hardworking, TAX PAYING, LEGAL immigration, and most support making becoming legal easier for those who deserve it (i.e. not drug dealer, rapist ect).

Not everything in life is fueled by racism and sexism, and while they still do exist (and probably always will since stupid people can't be exterminated), it's not the end-all, be-all to everything, and consistently using it is like the boy crying wolf to the point most people don't care.

One last point
-I personally think the US should intervene in the cartel wars in Mexico NOW! I saw the Extra Credits about "Call of Juarez" and googled "Mexican Drug War" and got my first hand view of how horrible it is, and why people would want to get the hell out of there. I think the destruction of the cartels by US forces would allow a lot of peace an opportunity to return to Mexico, allowing people to return and be with family and friends they left behind. A safe and secure Mexico is good for Mexicans and Americans.

The US getting involved in the cartel wars militarily is a terrible idea as there is no way with military force to abolish the cause of so many Meican, central and south american citizen's being involved with the drug trade which is that they are poor and the drug trade for cocaine alone is worth $80 billion a year.

The only way to end the drug trade is by legalising every single one (but introduce penalties like with alcohol for driving/operating heavy machinery under the influence etc) and then manufacture them in the US and Europe. This would immediatly remove all the money from the cartels and while not eradicate them at least cause them to focus on finding altrernative revenue streams rather than fight and murder.

Remember 70% of all theft related crimes in the US and Europe are believed to be for funding drug habits yet smoking and alcohol can be just as addictive but thanks to there much lower cost those who want them commit far less crime to fund
their addictions.

(Double post)

We need a delete button!

Brockyman:
And of course Bob continues his "I have to talk about something ungodly liberal in every review" cliche. He's becoming like Brian in Family Guy, started out full of wit and humor as a straight man and devolving into a liberal cliche.

C'mom Bob, not everything has to be about something...

To be fair, liberal politics is pretty much the elephant in the room with this movie. It takes political commentaries to levels rarely seen. Making a review and not mentioning the immigration messages is like making a Robocop review and not mentioning the anti-capitalism messages.

Can't wait till part 3!

Thunderous Cacophony:

vid87:
"If there's one drawback is that they've dialed down on the gore."

*Watches man get intestines ripped out and tangled in helicopter rotors where he's sliced to pieces.*

...I'm guessing I just don't watch enough of this kind of stuff to think of it as "dialed down."

From the clips Bob showed, there are at least two helicopter-related deaths that are shown explicitly. Maybe it's just the result of Schlocktober desensitizing him.

I think he's comparing it to the first movie, not just movies in general.

That said, if that's "toned down", I'm fearful to see the it or the first. Fun as it looks, and surprising since some of my favourite bits of entertainment are rather messy in terms of gore, I'm surprisingly squeamish. I can't even really watch someone do an editorial about zombies if they show too many clips.

hermes200:

Brockyman:
And of course Bob continues his "I have to talk about something ungodly liberal in every review" cliche. He's becoming like Brian in Family Guy, started out full of wit and humor as a straight man and devolving into a liberal cliche.

C'mom Bob, not everything has to be about something...

To be fair, liberal politics is pretty much the elephant in the room with this movie. It takes political commentaries to levels rarely seen. Making a review and not mentioning the immigration messages is like making a Robocop review and not mentioning the anti-capitalism messages.

I understand mentioning in the commentary, any reviewer would do that. What made me comment is that he lamented the fact that it WASN'T AS STRONG in this movie. He also kinda promotes it... instead of saying things like "it sparks debate" or "is an interesting take" he reacted strongly to both the first Machete and Elysium as "rallying cries".

I don't mind there being debate, but true and lasting debate can't happen when both sides demonize each other. I'm more willing to sit down and discuss the issue when I'm not being called a racist when I'm not a racist, lol.

destroy the world and repopulate with a master race... so basically Mexican Moonraker

"If there's one drawback, its that the gore has been dialed back..."

Bob says, as a clip plays of Machete ripping out a man's intestines and throws it into the whirring blades of a helicopter, causing the man to be yanked into the blades and chopped into tiny pieces.

Kumagawa Misogi:
(Double post)

We need a delete button!

Kumagawa Misogi:

Brockyman:
And of course Bob continues his "I have to talk about something ungodly liberal in every review" cliche. He's becoming like Brian in Family Guy, started out full of wit and humor as a straight man and devolving into a liberal cliche.

C'mom Bob, not everything has to be about something.

Also, border security isn't "anti-Mexican". While I know some people do have racist intentions, the majority of Americans that support border security just want to be secure. Most of them don't mind good, hardworking, TAX PAYING, LEGAL immigration, and most support making becoming legal easier for those who deserve it (i.e. not drug dealer, rapist ect).

Not everything in life is fueled by racism and sexism, and while they still do exist (and probably always will since stupid people can't be exterminated), it's not the end-all, be-all to everything, and consistently using it is like the boy crying wolf to the point most people don't care.

One last point
-I personally think the US should intervene in the cartel wars in Mexico NOW! I saw the Extra Credits about "Call of Juarez" and googled "Mexican Drug War" and got my first hand view of how horrible it is, and why people would want to get the hell out of there. I think the destruction of the cartels by US forces would allow a lot of peace an opportunity to return to Mexico, allowing people to return and be with family and friends they left behind. A safe and secure Mexico is good for Mexicans and Americans.

The US getting involved in the cartel wars militarily is a terrible idea as there is no way with military force to abolish the cause of so many Meican, central and south american citizen's being involved with the drug trade which is that they are poor and the drug trade for cocaine alone is worth $80 billion a year.

The only way to end the drug trade is by legalising every single one (but introduce penalties like with alcohol for driving/operating heavy machinery under the influence etc) and then manufacture them in the US and Europe. This would immediatly remove all the money from the cartels and while not eradicate them at least cause them to focus on finding altrernative revenue streams rather than fight and murder.

Remember 70% of all theft related crimes in the US and Europe are believed to be for funding drug habits yet smoking and alcohol can be just as addictive but thanks to there much lower cost those who want them commit far less crime to fund
their addictions.

I saw the double post. lol. It happens to the best of us.

I see your point. I'm not a huge fan of sending troops into harm's way, and I also agree in changing legislation to allow for some types of drugs to be legal. However, there are a couple of ways I disagree in your premise.

1. Villains - The (vast majority of) people that run and work for these cartels are, well, evil. I'm not sure if you're familiar with some of the kinds of stuff they do to their enemies, but it makes the Italian Mafia look like school children having a playground fight. Tijuana neckties, dismembered people in the streets, bribery/intimidation at the highest levels of the Mexican government. Sometimes evil people just need to be exterminated... if the drugs became legal, they would move on to kidnapping for ransom (something they already do), sex trade, harder/newer drugs not made in the US. I know games like GTA V seem to make the criminal life heroic, but these people need to be punished

2. Military Level Equipment - Local police and officials don't have the manpower, equipment or will (thanks to threats) to deal with the problem. Navy Seals, Green Berets, and other Special Forces, along with air power have the means, training, equipment to take care of the issue with a lot less chance for intimidation.
Also, who's to say that after drugs became legal that they wouldn't use their weapons and equipment to destabilize and take over governments.

3. Trade - A secure, peaceful Latin America would more then make up for 80 billion in drug money with all of its natural beauty, oil and natural resources, and interesting and vibrant culture. If American and European tourists felt save, the tourism could almost make up that alone, not to mention the oil and mineral exports. I think the majority of Latin Americans would prefer to work in these professions then the drug trade.

Again, just food for thought. I do like your ideas and you put some thought into them.

Brockyman:

Also, border security isn't "anti-Mexican". While I know some people do have racist intentions, the majority of Americans that support border security just want to be secure. Most of them don't mind good, hardworking, TAX PAYING, LEGAL immigration, and most support making becoming legal easier for those who deserve it (i.e. not drug dealer, rapist ect).

Arizona and Colorado have roughly the same sized Hispanic population. One has horrible "papers please NOW" laws and the other one doesn't. One is a mecca for retirees and the other one isn't.

Now why would having a large population of old white people make illegal immigration a much larger issue then it is without them?

The comparison to Brian from Family Guy is actually pretty spot on, as the introduction of political/social/economic issues into a discussion on a mass-entertainment film like this is just about as self-defeating as any cartoon's feeble attempts to 'get serious.' I enjoy Bob's movie criticism, game discussions, etc... in and of themselves, but dearly wish he would stop trying to tie both into dopey and superficial left-authoritarian, pro-Democrat master narratives that won him over during those impressionable college years. It wouldn't be much different if an astute political philosopher or historian tried to throw some poorly-thought-out blanket statement over whole genres of movies or gaming.

All I'm saying is that I'm not interested in even opening up a discussion on Spanish-American discrimination when I'm watching trailer footage for a movie about a character who couldn't possibly be more of a white overgrown teenager's fantasy imagining of a bad-ass Mexican. On the surface, everything about Trejo's appearance and vibe makes him seem like one of the over-the-top caricatures from a GTA game. I similar wouldn't start discussing womens' rights while watching a porn video.

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