Zero Punctuation: Beyond: Two Souls

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Beyond: Two Souls

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Beyond: Two Souls

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That final line in the credits reveals too much truth.

So it's basically Heavy Rain and Indigo Prophecy but worse?

Beyond: Two Souls is one of those games where a sequel name will be awkward if it does happen. Like Army of Two Two.

Also, I loved "Despite Ellen Page I Am Still Just A Rat In A Cage."

Even though I didn't enjoy Heavy Rain too much, I definitely prefer that over Beyond. I agree with Yahtzee with every criticism he has with the game, and more.

Funny how everyone just calls Jodie "Ellen Page" now, they just can't be arsed. =p
See what you've done, David Cage?

(Still think Omikron: The Nomad Soul is Quantic Dream's best game)

I like Ellen Page, but I honestly can't tell if Yahtzee is criticizing her, or just can't remember the main character's name. Ah well, if I need a decent ghost game I can always dig out Geist.

Not going to play it because there's no way to get a completely uncensored version.

Evonisia:
That final line in the credits reveals too much truth.

So it's basically Heavy Rain and Indigo Prophecy but worse?

I feel that Yahtzee has been Jim Sterling-ing a bit as of late(could be the Expo).

And I completely agree with everything he said, this really wasn't that good of a game movie, I mean movie game movie,

...

Oh fuck off, you know what I mean.

Thunderous Cacophony:
I like Ellen Page, but I honestly can't tell if Yahtzee is criticizing her, or just can't remember the main character's name. Ah well, if I need a decent ghost game I can always dig out Geist.

Might be because all the promotional stuff I've seen for the game has made a big stink about having Ellen Page in the game. Like it is literally all that it says about it...

The thing that struck me about this game is it's almost exactly the game that Sarkeesian asked for. Less like a game and more like a movie. And what gameplay there is, make it easy as fuck. It even has a female protagonist. Dunno if I was the only one that noticed this but I expect to hear her gushing about it any day now.

I'm starting to wonder if David Beige has ever actually talked to a real woman before.

This review is actually a lot like trying to play through any of David Beige's games: Soul crushing.

I've been watching some playthrough vids of this on YouTube and I'm glad I did. It's only entertaining for how pretentiously bad and stupid it is.

*Checks the review, review comments and comments for "Nude Ellen Page case"*

Yup, just as I suspected. Apparently I'm the only person in the world who actually liked this game. Huh.

EDIT: Also, even though I liked Beyond: Two Souls, I still had a good few laughs from this video, great job Yahtzee. :)

Nothing about how Cage is a dirtbag who loves completely unnecessary, gratuitous shower scenes? I thought that would be great ammunition.

Zachary Amaranth:
Beyond: Two Souls is one of those games where a sequel name will be awkward if it does happen. Like Army of Two Two.

Also, I loved "Despite Ellen Page I Am Still Just A Rat In A Cage."

Army of Two Two? Desmond on the rampage: The Revenge

But seriously, games that are pure story, like Dear Ester or The Parable of Stanley only seem to work as very short little indie games. Try and make anything large out of them and they soon get very clunky and very pretentious very, very quickly.

I can thankfully say that I have never played any of David Cage's games.
I looked at them and read about them for a bit and they all just seem ... bad ... in a weird way.
Or maybe just weird ... in a bad way.
I can't decide which it is...

Zachary Amaranth:
Beyond: Two Souls is one of those games where a sequel name will be awkward if it does happen. Like Army of Two Two.

Also, I loved "Despite Ellen Page I Am Still Just A Rat In A Cage."

Or Two Worlds II? Can't believe that happened.

Akichi Daikashima:

Evonisia:
That final line in the credits reveals too much truth.

So it's basically Heavy Rain and Indigo Prophecy but worse?

I feel that Yahtzee has been Jim Sterling-ing a bit as of late(could be the Expo).

And I completely agree with everything he said, this really wasn't that good of a game movie, I mean movie game movie,

...

Oh fuck off, you know what I mean.

Well so long as he doesn't go too far 'in-Jim-character' it's fine by me.

Ba-zing!!!

The only reason I bought this game was to get a good hardy laugh, like with Heavy Rain, but even that was too much to ask. It's like even David Cage doesn't give a shit anymore...

"Let's just throw everything I love about movies into one big pot.

- Silence of the Lambs: check.
- The Matrix: check.
- Carrie: check.
- Native American voodoo stuff: check.
- Science Fiction stuff: check.
- Gratuitous nudity: check.
- Unnecessary romance: check
- Willem Dafoe: check.
- Ellen Page: check.
- Non-interactivity: check."

I can only imagine what Willem Dafoe must've been thinking when acting across his ghost fishbowl.

DVS BSTrD:
I'm starting to wonder if David Beige has ever actually talked to a real woman before.

This review is actually a lot like trying to play through any of David Beige's games: Soul crushing.

Did you know that before going to talk to Ellen Page about appearing in his very shitty game that he compiled a massive scrapbook of pictures of her as a child he found on the internet? And that he took it with him to their interview.

http://www.lazygamer.net/general-news/david-cage-went-crazy-for-ellen-page/

This makes the fact that he actually rendered her model completely naked and extremely detailed for the shower scene all the creepier.

Then again, his last female character spent the entire game appealing to a variety of fetishes and saying "you go girl" to herself so we didn't have very far to fall.

Yossarian1507:
*Checks the review, review comments and comments for "Nude Ellen Page case"*

Yup, just as I suspected. Apparently I'm the only person in the world who actually liked this game. Huh.

No you're not, I quite liked it. But I didn't like it as a whole. As a whole, it was a convoluted mess of a game. But what I liked were the special moments, though they were few. I was truly genuinely moved at times. Like the interaction with the hobos during the "Homeless" chapter. Or the scenes with Jodie as a child. Some were truly very great. Too bad that for the most part it got overshadowed by a story that went nowhere and gameplay that had no purpose to begin with.

Was hoping for a look at The Stanley Parable. Not much surprise in seeing Beyond declared as mediocre again.

Evonisia:
That final line in the credits reveals too much truth.

Yeah, I'd like to think Yahtzee got turned down by her or something.

Anyhoo, got some good laughs from me at the start, hadn't found the last few vids that funny, but this one worked for me.

Evonisia:
So it's basically Heavy Rain and Indigo Prophecy but worse?

Well that, and every character is played by Ellen Page.

This is literally the game for Ellen Page fanboys. There's Carrie Ellen Page, Commando Ellen Page, Goth Ellen Page, Hobo Ellen Page, Bald Psych Ward Ellen Page, and Native-American Ellen Page.

Yeah, this is basically what I expected: no actual game, just typical video game storyline trying to be better than itself by copying from less interactive media. And Ellen Page.

Well I liked it. I liked all of David Cages games.

Barciad:
But seriously, games that are pure story, like Dear Ester or The Parable of Stanley only seem to work as very short little indie games. Try and make anything large out of them and they soon get very clunky and very pretentious very, very quickly.

I'm gonna go ahead and pin that on the sheer length required. It's hard to have a good, compelling story and stretch it out over more than two or three hours without it starting to really drag unless there's something (Good gameplay for example) to keep the player's interest.

I spent way more time than I'm willing to admit screwing around on Encounters in Fire Emblem: Awakening just to see more of the character interactions.

Thunderous Cacophony:
I like Ellen Page, but I honestly can't tell if Yahtzee is criticizing her, or just can't remember the main character's name. Ah well, if I need a decent ghost game I can always dig out Geist.

Oh Geist was the shit back in the day. ^_^

Terrorizing guards to forcibly bodyjack them in the single player was highly amusing, and the multiplayer...oh gosh the multiplayer. My friends and I had a TON of fun with that.

Somehow, possessing a missile to ram it into another player, or possessing a box of dynamite and triggering it when someone was running past never lost its charm. ^_^

So now we'll just wait for Ellen Page to try and sue Yahtzee for "public shaming" or what?

EDIT: Sorry. "Take legal action" is probably the phrase they'd use.

Hmmm, does Jim know you stole his Dafoe?

I hope someone answers that phone, because I fucking called it!

This game looked like a train wreck, sounded like a train wreck, and given the reviews I've seen, IS a train wreck. But no the fun kind, the slow train wreck, where a single car falls off the rails.

Who else thinks David Cage is going to be out of business?

Zachary Amaranth:
Also, I loved "Despite Ellen Page I Am Still Just A Rat In A Cage."

For me, it was the "Ellem Page David Cage Rage Gauge"... That's now going to be the title I use whenever I talk about Beyond Two: Souls (or was it Two Souls Beyond... I can't remember...)

OT: Yeah, even when I saw someone give a good review of this game, I still had a hard time believing that it was as good as the reviewer was saying it was though... But, now I want to see Willem DaFoe's character cry in this game for some reason...

I watched the Two Best Friends play the party scene on Youtube yesterday... it was the most awkward shit i've ever seen.

So the Ellen And Dave's Faffing About Adventure was bad, huh. Well, I'm kind of relieved. It means that for all Cage's prattling about regarding "emotion," we know the only emotion his forays into gaming inspire is apathy. Well all right, I'm holding back, David Cage's games inspire a lot of emotions in me. For example, there's the aforementioned apathy, there's annoyance, boredom, anger (mostly over the fact I spent money on this as opposed to food), all kinds of emotions! Just a shame that they're negative things, Davey!

Also, I don't think Ellen Page is that good of an actor. Not bad, but no one I'd care to follow the career of.

shameduser:
Well I liked it. I liked all of David Cages games.

This, only I harbor much stronger emotions for BTS. I frikkin' love it to bits.

David Cage's design worked for me. The only thing I can complain about is that now I will have to wait years until his next title. And, considering his stance on sequels, that giant sequel hook at the end will never be resolved.

kasalaba:
Hunky boyzzzz ^__^

You should avoid posting low content posts since they will net you a warning.

OT: This has got to be the best one in a while. I really enjoyed this review.

Also I have to say I loathe games that rely on quick time events rather than gameplay. A good story is important, but I still want to play my games rather than watch them.

Piecewise:

DVS BSTrD:
I'm starting to wonder if David Beige has ever actually talked to a real woman before.

This review is actually a lot like trying to play through any of David Beige's games: Soul crushing.

Did you know that before going to talk to Ellen Page about appearing in his very shitty game that he compiled a massive scrapbook of pictures of her as a child he found on the internet? And that he took it with him to their interview.

http://www.lazygamer.net/general-news/david-cage-went-crazy-for-ellen-page/

This makes the fact that he actually rendered her model completely naked and extremely detailed for the shower scene all the creepier.

Then again, his last female character spent the entire game appealing to a variety of fetishes and saying "you go girl" to herself so we didn't have very far to fall.

OK, that is Beyond (Two Souls?) creepy. I guess this explains why his characters don't really seem human... seeing he's got no clue how a normal human would behave apparently.

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