Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Ghosts

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SILENTrampancy:
Well, who the hell buys CoD for singleplayer anymore?

Please, stand up and say your name, so that we may oggle at the oddity that is you.

See, that's not much of an argument.

It's the Gears of War situation again. Had Yahtzee said that CODGhosts' single player was amazing, nobody would have said that they don't care about the single player campaign.

Well that's a thing then. I'm gonna go back to playing Brutal Doom, thanks.

Hasn't there been nuclear war yet in the Call of Duty series? Why not just have an old fashioned resource war as the setup for a game? The United States can still have the killbots and high tech stuff, but lack of resources to maintain the high tech gear makes them very valuable but only as an ace up the sleeve when the situation is dire. It also justifies people we normally wouldn't think of as threats being antagonists, they're the strongest simply because they were the least f-ed up by the previous war. Further, with the simple goal of getting the resources to keep their own civilization going, it would set up moral ambiguity which would come across as more genuine.

A damn shame the dog was just another toy to throw away. Would have been fun if he was a core aspect of the game. I might have forced myself to play it while pretending the dog is the son of Hewie from Haunting Ground carrying on his father's secret war against alchemy :p

I don't think we should be criticizing the developers for the prevalence of burly white dudes - the money they saved on alternate character models is clearly what allows for the staggering degree of innovation the series is known for.

On the topic of "America is OP" (Even if MW 1-3 was more British SAS and America as a way to fill in the gaps) if anyone wants to read a story where America is a Villain, try Seven Ancient Wonders by Matthew Reilly. Sure it's got mystical junk and technology that doesn't make much sense, but it's no worse than COD and has a very Indiana Jones/A-Team feel to the whole thing.

Well, CoD is slowly collapsing it sounds like. Like watching an old person fall over, it looks like slow motion, but it still hurts the person all the same.

As for JAM...that was the most confusing thing I've watched in a while. Is it a book of free flowing consciousness coming from Yahtzee? If that's the case I'm sure many high readers/listeners will come up with some rather profound interpretations.

Well I did enjoy the mogworld audio book.

You might think they would take risks knowing that everybody will just buy their game anyway. Well except for the battlefield fans.

SILENTrampancy:
Well, who the hell buys CoD for singleplayer anymore?

Please, stand up and say your name, so that we may oggle at the oddity that is you.

Yo.

Most of the stories are actually rather good. Hell the story arc for Modernwarfare from 1-3 is a great military thriller. And what a lot of the people who whine on about the US being so superior in the modern warfare games dont somehow figure out, is that the entire world isnt saved by the US, the US is busy bumbling around like idiots. The entire world is saved by some dudes from the UK, and a few russians.

I shit you not, the US is pretty much nothing but a backdrop for the british/russian heroes, with a few random US soldiers being controlled for some show piece battles so you can see how the war is going in other parts of the world.

erttheking:
Wait a minute WHAT!? Orbital missile platforms? Did Activision miss the part where those were outlawed by the Geneva Convention? That's a freaking war crime waiting to happen right there! And who exactly is the US going to nuke? This all coming from a freaking American!

KDR_11k:

Evonisia:
It's weird that the message is "The only people who can beat America is America" with that laser, they can't be sympathetic when they practically caused their own downfall.

Never mind that space-based WMDs are forbidden by treaties that have the implicit threat of global thermonuclear war (because an orbital WMD might kill you before you get to nuke its owner so you better nuke him NOW).

The law states that

States shall not place nuclear weapons or other weapons of mass destruction in orbit or on celestial bodies or station them in outer space in any other manner

The weapons in Ghosts are inspired by Project ODIN, which uses kinect kill weapons dropped from orbit. These are perfectly legal as they are not classified as WMDs due to not being "Nuclear, Biological, or Chemical" which is how the treaties define WMDs. The only reason we havent built a real version is that the cost of getting the tungsten poles from earth to orbit is so costly that it would out weigh its strategic value.

Edit: also all the people crying BS that it would never happen in the real world; Well no fuckin shit. This is a VIDEO GAME, they havent claimed that it was possible, plausible, or anything other than a military thriller. I mean for fucks sake, they dont even say its realistic in the ads for the game, so why do the detractors seem to think they need to hold it to some realism standard?

erttheking:
Wait a minute WHAT!? Orbital missile platforms? Did Activision miss the part where those were outlawed by the Geneva Convention? That's a freaking war crime waiting to happen right there! And who exactly is the US going to nuke? This all coming from a freaking American!

So the basic detailed I gleamed from the inter webs is that the middle east oil supply is dwindling and caused a major economy collapse in most of the developed world. while at the same time large oil deposits were found in he South America and at some point the "federation" forms and begins a hostile take over of South America and then works its way up. the Odin satellite are not nukes they are rods the deal massive kinetic damage but don't leave any nasty radiation. I remember an article about in in the escapist even. I don't know why the satellites were there, but at the start of the game there was no war ongoing and there was some sort of treaty in place that was broken by the villains when they took the satellites and used them on the US and used them as an opening blow, and at the en of the game the villain have built there own orbital satellites and are actively using them on US forces when they are taken away and used against the federation. Something about how he portrayed the situation in the video seemed off so I went and looked up the plot and that what I came away with

anyway not nukes, general politics have taken a massive change, and I think the satellites were what was keeping the war from starting up in the first place.

I'm going to say it: If that was a sample of the audio book, it turned me away from a purchase. Mostly from the stilted voices that were indistinguishable from each other.

Was anyone under the impression that Yahtzee would like this game? Did anyone think that it would actually be any different from the last one?

No, probably not. But like sports games they seem to make the exact same game year after year and still sell out. I don't understand it, but apparently there is an entire demographic that wants to buy the exact same game year after year (with betterz grafix).

P.S. Just for accuracy's sake the US actually does have a giant space laser.

Flunk:
Was anyone under the impression that Yahtzee would like this game? Did anyone think that it would actually be any different from the last one?

No, probably not. But like sports games they seem to make the exact same game year after year and still sell out. I don't understand it, but apparently there is an entire demographic that wants to buy the exact same game year after year (with betterz grafix).

P.S. Just for accuracy's sake the US actually does have a giant space laser.

Wait what? We do? Since when? What's its name?

...and do you actually mean "giant space laser that can be used to attack things on the ground, like Dracula in his moon base", or "giant space laser that sends beams of light out to distant planets to analyze the general temperature of the dust"? Because the latter sounds like the more realistic thing to have happened.

While this spectacularly boring franchise still makes a squajillion dollars a year, its review scores and award nominations are at least in slow decline. Hopefully that's the first step. Probably not though.

Anyone else unable to shake the feeling the Spec Ops: The Line may have warned us about the orbital space cannon bit?

Seriously, someone please acknowledge this, it's driving me crazy.

So I guess you could say it didn't have a Ghost of a chance?

Evonisia:
The lack of the dog mostly is quite weird too, he was the major selling point.

Outside of the first reveal, where was the dog pushed as a major selling point? In any of the adds I saw there was barely any dog action shown. I really don't get where people got this from. I think people are mistaking what the community was going on about rather than what the developers were saying.

PunkRex:
Fucking South America, are you shitting me!? Christ, lets just drop any semblance of reality COD and have the freaking English do it, thats more plausible than FUCKING SOUTH AMERICA!!!

It's a game, why does it need to be 100% realistic? People complain about them being the same so they try using an enemy that is hardly ever used instead of reusing China or Russia for the millionth time.

PainInTheAssInternet:
Again with people complaining that Yahtzee doesn't review COD Multiplayer.

1) He's stated numerous times that he doesn't play multiplayer unless he's absolutely forced to by contract (Diablo III, SimCity 5) because it's incredibly repetitive. He seems to dislike any kind of grind and what is multiplayer if not that?

2) He lives in Australia; spelled b-a-d-i-n-t-e-r-n-e-t-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-i-o-n. I can't remember where, but I seem to recall him stating that on the best of days, he gets a laggy connection to a few dozen people and the furthest away is New Zealand. This is COD, a game that relies entirely upon twitches. It takes very few bullets to kill you and the guns fire very fast. It's hardly an unknown fact that the best internet connection wins in COD in the Western hemisphere. Imagine what it would be like for him online.

EDIT

Regarding the story; some people here are saying that IW and Treyarch et al should remove the story section and it will solve all the problems. It sounds like the issues are deeper than that. If the stories really do have all these undertones to them, it's far more troubling than simply having a vestigial option.

1. There was one person that said that in this thread and I am 99% certain he said it sarcasticly

2. As an Australian that is a lie. Yes, our internet is not the best in some places (mainly country areas) but in the cities it is perfectly capable for online gaming. I occasionally play COD online and a number of other games on my laptop online all the time and almost never experience lag.

OT: Does anyone else find it funny that a couple of episodes ago Yahtzee said he won't review Pokémon X and Y because it's too samey yet constantly reviews COD? Other than that it was a decent review but far from his best.

I do find it ironic that the dog had the most personality out of the entire cast members.

Jman1236:
They don't call COD the micheal bay of video games for nothing. Seriousally south america invades the US? I call BS! This is why I play only multiplayer in COD, FYI the guard dog killstreak is OP.

Well it couldn't very well be England or France invades the US, COD players would get confused if they virtual people they were killing weren't brown.

Huh. Couldn't get Ian McKellen to read it into the microphone, eh?

I absolutely ADORED the Mogworld audiobook and now this? I'm gonna get it right now.

BTw, SA invading the US? Bullshit on that, but the dog gets KILLED? FUCK YOU IW, FUCK YOU! And if it doesn't actually die... FUCK YOU anyways IW.

holy shit he made a Ghost Dog reference. I love Yahtzee.

themutantlizard:
The Wolf Among Us next plz? Also he gave Cod a right good bashing now maybe people will stop buying that crap for good.

He's bashed every COD with the exception of 4. In the past, this was one of the few things I disagreed with Yathzee on(he hated the games, I generally liked them). Though this one sounds idiotic enough to make me not want to bother.

I still think they should have focused on the 141 and covered (part of) the 5 year gap between MW and MW2. But apparently I'm not smart enough to be a game developer.

i get the feeling yahtzee wrote the bulk of this script while reviewing black ops 2 last year. i kinda hope he skips COD next year, it must be tough to review the same game 4 times

erttheking:
Wait a minute WHAT!? Orbital missile platforms? Did Activision miss the part where those were outlawed by the Geneva Convention? That's a freaking war crime waiting to happen right there! And who exactly is the US going to nuke? This all coming from a freaking American!

Correction, it's not the geneva convention that bans WMD's from space (that was drafted before World War One, well before such things existed), it's the Outer Space Treaty drafted in 1967 between the US, UK and Soviet Union. Other nations have since joined currently sitting at over 100 nations:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outer_Space_Treaty

OT: Latest CoD game has gotten worse, suprise suprise, I haven't bought a CoD since MW1 and even that was when it was on sale, the others I have only due to friends gifting them to play coop (I refuse to waste my money on the series).

Get the Foreigner song "Dirty White Boy" in your head then replace the lyrics with "Burley White Dewd"

Oh well it was funny when I thought of it :p

erttheking:
Wait a minute WHAT!? Orbital missile platforms? Did Activision miss the part where those were outlawed by the Geneva Convention? That's a freaking war crime waiting to happen right there! And who exactly is the US going to nuke? This all coming from a freaking American!

To my knowledge, only WMDs is space are outlawed. If I remember rightly, the weapon in Ghosts is more akin to the Rods From God weapon, which though massively more expensive and equally as effective as ground-launcher missiles, are allowed under the Space Treaty.

The Geneva Convention was negotiated before the first man-made satellite, and was largely about human rights during warfare.

IPunchWithMyFists:
Anyone else unable to shake the feeling the Spec Ops: The Line may have warned us about the orbital space cannon bit?

Seriously, someone please acknowledge this, it's driving me crazy.

Well, the white phosphorus in Spec Ops was used in a similar way to the orbital laser. Only Spec Ops made you look at what the blipping lights were later.

CoD needs futuristic US civil war setting
But not the lazy scenario (copying past North vs. South war, but with lasers)
Something more interesting- maybe conglomerate of companies vs. government?

Two-A:

I hope they didn't give all the villians Mexican accents (please, please tell me they didn't).

You know what? At least this would make the game somewhat entertaining
Imagine if every enemy character sounded like stereotypical latinos gang member
Or even better- make them sound like characters from AliG Indahouse


Then at least we would know that it is a parody
But noooo, everything is so goddamn serious, so straightfaced it becomes creepy

erttheking:
Wait a minute WHAT!? Orbital missile platforms? Did Activision miss the part where those were outlawed by the Geneva Convention? That's a freaking war crime waiting to happen right there! And who exactly is the US going to nuke? This all coming from a freaking American!

.
.
.
O_O

I just realized something
What if player never receives full story
And the full story is
US spat on international agreements and started to launch WMD platforms into space
Rest of the world tried diplomatic approach, but it failed
Then UN was threatening US with economic blockade (how long US could stand with oil supplies?)
US threatened back with said WMD platforms
As a response teams of russian and chinese hackers hacked these satellites
Next step would be military enforcement
South America invading US was only the first wave (being relatively close to US)
Second wave of attack would be united front of European, Asian and African forces
That would be sequel to Ghosts (in the end player blasts all of remaining world- as the response nuclear superpowers launch missiles towards US)
In the end it would be US vs. World
And nobody wins

Captcha: what if?
Exactly captcha- what if?

Boogie Knight:
Hasn't there been nuclear war yet in the Call of Duty series? Why not just have an old fashioned resource war as the setup for a game? The United States can still have the killbots and high tech stuff, but lack of resources to maintain the high tech gear makes them very valuable but only as an ace up the sleeve when the situation is dire. It also justifies people we normally wouldn't think of as threats being antagonists, they're the strongest simply because they were the least f-ed up by the previous war. Further, with the simple goal of getting the resources to keep their own civilization going, it would set up moral ambiguity which would come across as more genuine.

Because the it would make too much sense
And that would make US bad guys (and we can't have it right?)
And it would remind story of Fronlines


And even in Frontlines Alliance was presented as villains ("They shoot first, who stabbed who prior to that doesn't matter, now stop thinking and be all patriotic'n'shit!")
Tradition I guess :/

P.S. I just posted 3 times in a row- maybe I should stop for a moment.

PainInTheAssInternet:
For example; I don't remember the exact details, but I think there was a paratrooper unit that was disbanded because they were torturing prisoners for shits and giggles. This was only a decade or two ago.

We blamed "a few bad apples" and then tried to change the subject, you guys actually disbanded the unit. Therein lies the difference.

Then we have Mayor Rob Ford representing the largest metropolis in our nation and the people who refuse to stop supporting him.

You think that guy's bad? How quaint. Here's a small sample of the idiocy produced by the US political process:







EDIT: on a different note:

Desert Punk:
The weapons in Ghosts are inspired by Project ODIN, which uses kinect kill weapons dropped from orbit. These are perfectly legal as they are not classified as WMDs due to not being "Nuclear, Biological, or Chemical" which is how the treaties define WMDs. The only reason we havent built a real version is that the cost of getting the tungsten poles from earth to orbit is so costly that it would out weigh its strategic value.

Best. Typo. Ever.

blackrave:

erttheking:
Wait a minute WHAT!? Orbital missile platforms? Did Activision miss the part where those were outlawed by the Geneva Convention? That's a freaking war crime waiting to happen right there! And who exactly is the US going to nuke? This all coming from a freaking American!

.
.
.
O_O

I just realized something
What if player never receives full story
And the full story is
US spat on international agreements and started to launch WMD platforms into space
Rest of the world tried diplomatic approach, but it failed
Then UN was threatening US with economic blockade (how long US could stand with oil supplies?)
US threatened back with said WMD platforms
As a response teams of russian and chinese hackers hacked these satellites
Next step would be military enforcement
South America invading US was only the first wave (being relatively close to US)
Second wave of attack would be united front of European, Asian and African forces
That would be sequel to Ghosts (in the end player blasts all of remaining world- as the response nuclear superpowers launch missiles towards US)
In the end it would be US vs. World
And nobody wins

Captcha: what if?
Exactly captcha- what if?

If only activision had the testicles but this is not spec ops :(
I`m sad that these games can`t just go the saits row route already, its nuts just admit it Activision cod is nuts, stop pretending to be serious its really jarring.
Or what you are suggesting with the whole no one wins route, where the whole thing is designed to make war look like shit, which you SHOULD do because war is in fact pretty shitty.
I want either the next game to be over the top and not vaguely realistic or a game that goes back to its roots but they are not going to do that.

I special-ordered Jam a couple months ago and read it all in one weekend. Now I always look outside before walking downstairs and I carry a pack of plastic bags with me everywhere I go. Because of Yahtzee, I am still alive today!

Also, I want to do a remix of the COD: Ghosts T.V. ad. Where every 1.5 seconds the actors die and respawn. It'd be truer to the actual gameplay.

DataSnake:

PainInTheAssInternet:
For example; I don't remember the exact details, but I think there was a paratrooper unit that was disbanded because they were torturing prisoners for shits and giggles. This was only a decade or two ago.

We blamed "a few bad apples" and then tried to change the subject, you guys actually disbanded the unit. Therein lies the difference.

Then we have Mayor Rob Ford representing the largest metropolis in our nation and the people who refuse to stop supporting him.

You think that guy's bad? How quaint. Here's a small sample of the idiocy produced by the US political process:







EDIT: on a different note:

Desert Punk:
The weapons in Ghosts are inspired by Project ODIN, which uses kinect kill weapons dropped from orbit. These are perfectly legal as they are not classified as WMDs due to not being "Nuclear, Biological, or Chemical" which is how the treaties define WMDs. The only reason we havent built a real version is that the cost of getting the tungsten poles from earth to orbit is so costly that it would out weigh its strategic value.

Best. Typo. Ever.

Found the incident I was talking about; the Canadian Airborne Regiment. Disbanded in 1995 due to the death of a Somali teen at the hands of known white supremacists who also happened to be our most elite soldiers. The commanding officers knew they were white supremacists but sent them anyways. To Somalia.

Shouldn't have happened in the first place.

I'm sure I could find statements just as stupid if I went through the records. No one knows about them because we're just Canada.

I can tell you that the leader of our largest military base, Russell Williams, stalked women, broke into their houses and eventually killed a few.

IrisNetwork:

IPunchWithMyFists:
Anyone else unable to shake the feeling the Spec Ops: The Line may have warned us about the orbital space cannon bit?

Seriously, someone please acknowledge this, it's driving me crazy.

Well, the white phosphorus in Spec Ops was used in a similar way to the orbital laser. Only Spec Ops made you look at what the blipping lights were later.

How beautifully prophetic, I love Spec Ops, goddamn.

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