8 Xbox One Exclusives That Will Keep You Busy

8 Xbox One Exclusives That Will Keep You Busy

Now that you've got your Xbox One we have eight games that you should get your hands on to get the fullest Xbox One experience.

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Are these galleries actually meant to be funny? This is genuinely dire. The images aren't good enough quality to call a gallery, they don't even use the gallery software. The pithy quotes underneath are like a poor-quality knock off of Buzzfeed at best, which itself is already unentertaining drivel at best. Has The Escapist really fallen this far in search of per-page ad revenue? And I say that as someone who's been a subscriber since the Escapist actually did issues and PDFs, who happily accepted many layout changes, the move to video, and the forum integration and expansion. Hell, I even suffered *Game Dogs*. This is worse.

It's... not funny.

Completely inaccurate descriptions can be funny in their incongruity, but this isn't an example of that. There has to be an ironic twist, or an eerie mirroring of the subject, or a play on words somewhere.

Randomized Markov chains? Not so much.

I have to agree with the above posts, these galleries are... meh. They just aren't very amusing.

I'd have preferred an actual opinion on the launch titles than whatever this is. This isn't informative or even really funny, at least in my opinion.

So 8 randomly picked xBone exclusives followed up by a bad joke?

Ok then, not exactly what I'd call quality material.

To echo everyone else here so far, this was a letdown of an article. Any useful material? Nope. Any good jokes even? Nope. I'd much rather have seen an article that actually gave a meaningful description or synopsis of each game mentioned.

This is the worst of these excuses for "game journalism" yet. They've never been funny, but this is the least amusing, and most cringeworthy of them all.

An empty page would be better than this mess.

Why does this exist? It's just some random screenshots from Xbone launch games followed by some of the lamest attempts at making jokes I've ever seen... Why do these gallery features keep getting put up? They are almost never funny and look like they could have been made in about ten minutes. Then they're given a title that will trick people into actually looking at the things.

This gallery is honestly pretty embarrassing. The jokes completely fell flat, and the choice of imagery left a lot to be desired.

The only thing amusing about this 'article' was that I realised I now care so little about consoles, that I genuinely have no idea whether or not those synopses are factual.
Apart from Killer Instinct anyway; I'm not an idiot.

Speaking as someone who left the Master Race to join the ranks of the Great Unwashed 360 crowd, those titles read more like 8 reasons to avoid the Nextbox. I'm fairly loyal to my 360, but those titles look ... well ... dire, to be honest. Hence my decision not to make the move to the next gen until the middle of next year at the earliest - to give time for the One to build up some titles that are worth playing. Basically what we have at the moment are a bunch of weak titles hoping to sell on the 'ooh, pretty pictures!' card.

I literally haven't posted on this site in years and I re-remembered my password to tell you how awful this "article" was. Horrendous.

These are always horrible. I really hate being impolite, but damn; step up your game or quit doing them. :/

I really didn't need 8 more reasons to avoid being Xboned, but thanks I guess. I'll add them to the ever expanding list.

Was this post some kind of dig at the Xbone for having a whole raft of incredibly uninteresting 'exclusives'? It certainly didn't make me feel like I was missing out...

I think this is suppose to be sarcastic everyone... if not... wow...

Well, I seem to be the odd one out here but I thought it was hilarious.
Coming from someone that likes Xbox, the Ryse and Forza comments were the best jokes I've seen on the escapist this year.

I can imagine either A: someone having a terrible day then their Xbox One turning up in the mail smashed so they come and write this.

Or B: Telling this to a group of hardcore fans about each series with a completely straight face.

AMCization:
I literally haven't posted on this site in years and I re-remembered my password to tell you how awful this "article" was. Horrendous.

But it was worth it just so I could laugh at this

 

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