Zero Punctuation: Ryse: Son of Rome

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rcs619:
I haven't really been keeping up with this game, but... really? Barbarians? They make a game about the Roman Empire, one of the largest, most militarily powerful nations in the ancient world, and the only people they can think up for enemies are Barbarians? Granted, there were some big fights with Barbarians, but in general they were never a real threat to Rome until the very end when it been substantially weakened. Did they just not read the parts about how absolutely crushing the Roman legions were for much of Rome's history?

If they really wanted an 'epic' war story, why not set it during the Punic wars? Carthage was actually one of the few real military threats Rome ever faced. And the bulk of the Carthaginian military was made of mercenaries from all over Africa and the Mediterranean, which gives you quite a large variety of enemy types to choose from for your badguys. Also, Carthage actually had, and used, war elephants. Since any game about Rome has to have them.

Fragging hell, Extra Credits did a series on the Punic Wars in preparation for Rome: Total War II, and it sounds more awesome than anything that the MMS/Spunkgargleweewee genre has produced in years.

rcs619:
I haven't really been keeping up with this game, but... really? Barbarians? They make a game about the Roman Empire, one of the largest, most militarily powerful nations in the ancient world, and the only people they can think up for enemies are Barbarians? Granted, there were some big fights with Barbarians, but in general they were never a real threat to Rome until the very end when it been substantially weakened. Did they just not read the parts about how absolutely crushing the Roman legions were for much of Rome's history?

If they really had their hearts set on a big 'ol Romans vs Barbarians showdown, how about the Teutons.

Huge horde of uncivilized invaders? ... check

Marching on Rome? ... check

Wild and undisciplined appearance? ... at least according to the Roman historians, so check

Serious threat to Rome? ... check

And in case you're dead set on the name: Defeated by a guy named Marius? ... Check

Sounds like the game is awful, but seeing "in vino veritas" in the credits made me read it out loud in my Doc Holliday voice, so that cheered me up.

So, next-gen promises even less player agency and more bombastic than ever?
Yeah, that sounds like what I was expecting.

And yet there's always going to be a group of stupid sods who loves it to death because the market is run by twerky magpies.

Seriously, based on what I've seen of the game from demos and footage (beyond ZP), it looks unbelievably BORING. Which is incredible given the amount of bombastic and glitz it has.

This really got a 10/10?
No games should ever get a 10/10, no game is ever perfect....

Adept Mechanicus:
Can anyone translate the Latin in the credits?

1. In wine there's truth
2. Slander boldly, something always sticks
3. As you are, I was; as I am so you shall also be.

Not sure about the first two, but the last one is a Silent Hill reference so far as I remember.

Stabby Joe:
Rome was sacked multiple times throughout history... so they went with the most outlandishly false version?

...the actual gameplay that people crave made it look worse... how does one even do that?

Quite, had I been writing the story, Hannibal on an Elephant shooting flaming ballista bolts at you would have been the final boss. Making a Rome game and not having Carthage as the enemy was quite an open goal that they missed.

Mangod:

rcs619:
I haven't really been keeping up with this game, but... really? Barbarians? They make a game about the Roman Empire, one of the largest, most militarily powerful nations in the ancient world, and the only people they can think up for enemies are Barbarians? Granted, there were some big fights with Barbarians, but in general they were never a real threat to Rome until the very end when it been substantially weakened. Did they just not read the parts about how absolutely crushing the Roman legions were for much of Rome's history?

If they really wanted an 'epic' war story, why not set it during the Punic wars? Carthage was actually one of the few real military threats Rome ever faced. And the bulk of the Carthaginian military was made of mercenaries from all over Africa and the Mediterranean, which gives you quite a large variety of enemy types to choose from for your badguys. Also, Carthage actually had, and used, war elephants. Since any game about Rome has to have them.

Fragging hell, Extra Credits did a series on the Punic Wars in preparation for Rome: Total War II, and it sounds more awesome than anything that the MMS/Spunkgargleweewee genre has produced in years.

Ninjad, and quite thoroughly so. Considering the carnage Hannibal wreaked on Southern Italy, there is your revenge story done and dusted.

So it's basically CoD in a different era. Can't say I'm too surprised.

Ha, Ryse ad before the review ripping it apart. Perfect timing.

It sounds like the devs took a page out of Stephen Colbert's game making playbook!

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/428242/july-31-2013/stephen-colbert-s-super-coin-toss

I'd say something further on this game, but it seems like others have already beaten me to the obligatory "it's a roman version of Call of Duty". In fact, I'm wondering if that was the pitch at the meeting room when this game was being presented. o o;

Fantasy World Dizzy! Loved the let's play you did Gabriel.

What do you call a QTE that requires you neither to be quick, the timing is meaningless, and nothing event-worthy happens?

Because somehow RYSE made one of the absolute most tired and loathed gimmicks of modern gaming even worse.

Congrats, I guess.

Is there any reason to buy an Xbox One or PS4?

Seriously, I would like to know.

I have a working PC that can play anything. It handles Crysis no problem. I have a PS3 that has a lot of good games on it, and a 3DS/Wii for whatever nintendo fix I want.

Is there any reason at all to go in on a PS4 or Xbone?

Anyone else impressed that a Brit living in Australia knows who Stonewall Jackson is? I mean how many Americans know who Richard Neville, the 16th Earl of Warwick was? My guess is probably 5 maybe 6.

That was the funniest one I've seen in quite some time.

"Now all they need is burly whi- oh"

Ulquiorra4sama:

Adept Mechanicus:
Can anyone translate the Latin in the credits?

1. In wine there's truth
2. Slander boldly, something always sticks
3. As you are, I was; as I am so you shall also be.

Not sure about the first two, but the last one is a Silent Hill reference so far as I remember.

The last one is a phrase carved on the epitaphs of Roman officials. The meaning is to remind the reader that he/she will die eventually just like the person in the grave has.

Yep, just what I though "Ryse" would be from the scant mentions in gameplay trailers - an overpolished turd who only has the graphics going for it, doesn't do jackshit for actual gameplay, and fucks up even the graphics by draining the color out of it.

As for the story... WOW. I-I didn't think that a game story could be as incoherent and nonsensical than COD:Ghosts' "all of South America gangbangs North America with a satellite nuke station they hijacked", but JESUS H. TAPDANCING CHRIST this is a new low! I mean, the American armed forces getting bitch-slapped by a coalition of third world countries is one thing, but Rome getting bitch-slapped by barbarians (apparently LONG before the whole empire actually began to fall apart and fracture) is just roleplaying as Bullshitus Maximus!

Curiously, I see that Yahtzee only seems to indicate that the British barbs were the only enemies, while what little I've dug up indicated that Emperor Nero (yeah, the same "fiddle while Rome burns" Nero!) was the ultimate villain, along with his idiot son, Commodus (who is so much like the villain from "Gladiator" that his boss fight with Marius was in a freaking coliseum arena). Hell, it's because of their stupid antics (emphasis on STUPID) that the barbs are able to kick Rome out of Britain, and make their way up to Rome itself, not because the barbs suddenly became more powerful themselves.

Granted, the excuse that "the barbs beat Rome because the Roman Emperor and his kids were idiots (oh, and apparently Nero's manservant is a god wanting all of civilization destroyed - I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I'M NOT MAKING THAT UP!!! IT WAS ON TV TROPES, IT MUST BE TRUE!!!)" is still as stupid as the barbs pulling resources out of the writers ass, but it sure as hell isn't meant to make the Roman Empire good. Well, except for the "genius military commander" Marius, but like you've said, that's more a problem of not allowing any input from the player in the game than a problem of storywriting alone.

So, yep, one of the most overhyped "next-gen premier games" has gone off like a fart in church, and absolutely nobody is surprised (except for possibly the people trying their damndest to overhype the shit). Nice job ripping this sucker apart, Yahtzee. Now, if only you could do a review for "Killzone: Shadow Fall" or "Dead Rising 3" next...

Edit:
Regarding the "all games in the future only need to push one button, so the player can be free to jerk off" comment... "Bayonetta" already had the option to do that. And, considering the amount of sex appeal in the game, it probably was designed to allow jerking off.

So... Nice precedent you've set for the industry Bayonetta! Here's hoping the spunkgargleweewee games don't get the bright idea to steal that mechanic.

So, people who have played and completed Ryse, is this the plot twist in the last five minutes of the game?

Because if so, I guessed it as soon as I heard that the basic plot was "Bodyguard locked in room with Emperor during a battle, Bodyguard starts telling the story of how he has spent his life seeking revenge."

Mangod:

rcs619:
I haven't really been keeping up with this game, but... really? Barbarians? They make a game about the Roman Empire, one of the largest, most militarily powerful nations in the ancient world, and the only people they can think up for enemies are Barbarians? Granted, there were some big fights with Barbarians, but in general they were never a real threat to Rome until the very end when it been substantially weakened. Did they just not read the parts about how absolutely crushing the Roman legions were for much of Rome's history?

If they really wanted an 'epic' war story, why not set it during the Punic wars? Carthage was actually one of the few real military threats Rome ever faced. And the bulk of the Carthaginian military was made of mercenaries from all over Africa and the Mediterranean, which gives you quite a large variety of enemy types to choose from for your badguys. Also, Carthage actually had, and used, war elephants. Since any game about Rome has to have them.

Fragging hell, Extra Credits did a series on the Punic Wars in preparation for Rome: Total War II, and it sounds more awesome than anything that the MMS/Spunkgargleweewee genre has produced in years.

Seriously. They're a massive threat, Hannibal would've made an awesome villain, you could've had multiple campaigns with one in Rome and one in the invasion of Spain, you could've had appearances by characters like Fabian, and imagine playing as a soldier caught in the blood bath when Hannibal encircled the entire Roman army and being one of the few to escape.

And know that I'm talking at a brick wall that likes to hit me in the mouth a lot, wouldn't the game have made more historical sense if it was about the Scottish destroying the Romans and then Hadrian's Wall? If you make the decision to have a bunch of Italians in skirts, why not just top it of with a mass of angry, naked Celts? It seems to fit that "serious gamer" mantra that the Xbox has tried to carry.

MonkeyPunch:
I also remember reading that Crytek were thinking of taking out the QTEs... yet they didn't. They just replaced the button prompts with colour prompts. tsk tsk

From what I've heard, the game was originally nothing but QTEs, and when people complained, they reduced it to just the finishing moves.

Jman1236:
Seriously it takes that long to install FROM THE DISC!?!? On my ps4, you pop a disc in for the first time and give it a minute and your good to go. I was tempted to try and ask for this system for Christmas but now the more I hear, I think I'll wait till march and wheater to get titanfall for xbox one, pc, or 360.

Well, no. Quite a bit of that is the mandatory day-one patch, which is like a gigabyte. Yes, you read that right.

Dempy:
Is it spunkgargleweewee set in ancient Rome, as you said of the trailer in your last E3 video, or have you dropped the use of that label?

He didn't use the exact word, but he pretty explicitly stated that it was. Did you watch the video at all? He described in great detail why it's a Rome-ified Modern Warfare-alike.

tehweave:
Is there any reason to buy an Xbox One or PS4?

Seriously, I would like to know.

I have a working PC that can play anything. It handles Crysis no problem. I have a PS3 that has a lot of good games on it, and a 3DS/Wii for whatever nintendo fix I want.

Is there any reason at all to go in on a PS4 or Xbone?

There is never a reason to buy a new console at launch. Unless you've already played through every single game from the last generation and are absolutely desperate for more. Then again, I've always felt that there's never a reason to buy any game at launch either, since the price is only going to come down and it's not like it's going to start to stink if you leave it on the shelf too long. And if the multiplayer is so shit that nobody wants to play it anymore by that time, it probably wasn't worth it to begin with.

DeadCoyote:
Now they can with no shame put on their box this quote:

"10\10"
Zero Punctuation

They should! Because anyone who knows what ZP is will know it's a hilarious joke and that this game is closer to 1/10 ;)
But they'd probably write "The Escapist" instead, thinking they are mightely clever.
Except it's a bit too late, since the boxes have been printed before Yahtzee ever got a copy.

Anyway, good video, made me lol a few times and that's all I demand each week :P

Ulquiorra4sama:

Not sure about the first two, but the last one is a Silent Hill reference so far as I remember.

It's an inscription in the Capuchin Crypt in Rome - one of the more famous ossuaries around.

I wish Yahtzee would not have made a reference to Call of Duty. Now everyone wants the game and they won't stop milking it until they reach the space stage.

And another launch title that doesn't stand out of the crowd. Well, maybe in a few months something good will come along.

Having played it, completed it, and even tried my hand at some of the multiplayer gladiator stuff, I'll actually be in the minority here in these comments and say that I quite enjoyed Ryse. For me, while it wasn't perfect, it was about a solid 7.5-8/10. I'd agree with the Escapist's review of 4/5 stars.

Combat was a bit repetitive, but I honestly never got tired of the executions, especially after unlocking more via skill points. I realize it's not historically accurate, but I never really knock video games for that. I think games are allowed some creative freedom. It was fun to play and certainly had its fair share of epic-feeling moments. I really enjoyed every time you got to do a 300-esque shield wall and spear throw. The kinect integration didn't feel intrusive, and you don't have to literally yell at the TV - you can just speak like a normal human being and it picked it up every time for me. As Yahtzee mentioned, you can alternatively hold the left bumper (it doesn't take 5 seconds - that was an exaggeration).

I'll probably play through at least the campaign one more time on a harder difficulty. It was a worth-while purchase for me. Trying to appropriately break up my time between this and DR3.

I'm gonna wager a guess that most people here haven't played it and are just taking Yahtzee's word for it and considering his opinion to be 100% infallible truth. Since when has ZP ever been considered significant weight in someone's game purchase decision? He'll point out bad things about even super-highly-rated games because it'll get a laugh in the video. Not to say that some of the criticisms are without warrant, but it's still a decent game. It's not, in my opinion, a "shit launch title" as I've seen a few people alluding to. I think people are just getting more and more critical about what makes a "shit game" versus a good one. It's hardly a shit game. It's quite fun if you actually play it.

Jman1236:
The more I hear about how the Xbox one is working, the less I want it.

Seriously it takes that long to install FROM THE DISC!?!? On my ps4, you pop a disc in for the first time and give it a minute and your good to go. I was tempted to try and ask for this system for Christmas but now the more I hear, I think I'll wait till march and wheater to get titanfall for xbox one, pc, or 360.

I have actually felt the same, from the early rumors of DRM to the rumors of incomplete games requiring microtransactions I am liking the Xbox1 less and less. I have always loved Nintendo, but became a Sony fan with the PS2. Then the Xbox/Xbox 360 came and I leaned more towards them for gaming, going to PS3 only for exclusives. I have a Wii U for the kids (and myself lol), but will probably just pick up a PS4

tehweave:
Is there any reason to buy an Xbox One or PS4?

Seriously, I would like to know.

I have a working PC that can play anything. It handles Crysis no problem. I have a PS3 that has a lot of good games on it, and a 3DS/Wii for whatever nintendo fix I want.

Is there any reason at all to go in on a PS4 or Xbone?

Have a PC and a PS3?, perfect!, you won't be needing a new console in the next few years.

Otherwise, do you feel nostalgic about the Commodore 64 era, but without the heart and soul of the machine?, then please do get an Xbone and/or a PS4!.

OT: Seriously, the more I hear about next gen consoles (both of them), the less I want them :/

Whenever I see footage of Ryse, it just makes me wanna play Rome Total War.

And whenever I play Rome Total War, it makes me yern for a character action game about a Roman Legionnaire.

Then at some point I just end up playing Fallout New Vegas.

Midniqht:
Since when has ZP ever been considered significant weight in someone's game purchase decision? He'll point out bad things about even super-highly-rated games because it'll get a laugh in the video. Not to say that some of the criticisms are without warrant, but it's still a decent game. It's not, in my opinion, a "shit launch title" as I've seen a few people alluding to. I think people are just getting more and more critical about what makes a "shit game" versus a good one. It's hardly a shit game. It's quite fun if you actually play it.

While I do intend on getting Ryse (like I said the combat at least seems fun), I think Zero Punctuation reviews can generally be trusted to see whether game is worth your time (though perhaps you should consider other sources). I do think people are too quick to jump on the bandwagon of "Yahtzee hates 'x' genre, therefore all games like that will be crap".

tehweave:
Is there any reason at all to go in on a PS4 or Xbone?

Final Fantasy XV, Destiny, and Metal Gear Solid V on the PS4 if you're into those. That's what I'm waiting for. At the moment, no. I've never seen the point of picking a console at launch. There's little to no interesting games and possible hardware issues to put up with. The PS3 is still getting better releases this year.

Mangod:

rcs619:
I haven't really been keeping up with this game, but... really? Barbarians? They make a game about the Roman Empire, one of the largest, most militarily powerful nations in the ancient world, and the only people they can think up for enemies are Barbarians? Granted, there were some big fights with Barbarians, but in general they were never a real threat to Rome until the very end when it been substantially weakened. Did they just not read the parts about how absolutely crushing the Roman legions were for much of Rome's history?

If they really wanted an 'epic' war story, why not set it during the Punic wars? Carthage was actually one of the few real military threats Rome ever faced. And the bulk of the Carthaginian military was made of mercenaries from all over Africa and the Mediterranean, which gives you quite a large variety of enemy types to choose from for your badguys. Also, Carthage actually had, and used, war elephants. Since any game about Rome has to have them.

Fragging hell, Extra Credits did a series on the Punic Wars in preparation for Rome: Total War II, and it sounds more awesome than anything that the MMS/Spunkgargleweewee genre has produced in years.

Actually, a game where you play AS Hannibal would have been pretty sweet too. He was an incredibly destructive and devastating military force from Rome's point of view, but his actual army was practically incapable of resupply or reinforcement (outside of mercenaries) really he won most battles through superior tactics and strategy, usually exploiting the terrain to his advantage, and because the men under his command were incredibly experienced after the conquest of Spain. And yet the whole time he was cripplingly aware at how outnumbered and trapped behind enemy territory he was.

THAT has the set up for a fantastic game, to me. Hannibal taking up his fathers sword and swearing vengeance on Rome as the story, potential for incredibly interesting levels and enemy types with varied options for resolving battles, maybe a squad mechanic, a bitter tone to the proceedings that both cast the player as being empowered by constantly winning battles and dis-empowered by dwindling resources throughout the entire game, concluding with a hopeless battle defending Carthage like the ending to Halo Reach.

Well I'm sure this game is making Xbone buyers feel really good about their shinny new expensive ...er .. doorstop.

Ulquiorra4sama:

Adept Mechanicus:
Can anyone translate the Latin in the credits?

1. In wine there's truth
2. Slander boldly, something always sticks
3. As you are, I was; as I am so you shall also be.

Not sure about the first two, but the last one is a Silent Hill reference so far as I remember.

For #2 "audacter calumniare, semper aliquid haeret" = "slander boldly, something always sticks" - it's a "modern" quote from Francis Bacon, in De Augmentis Scientiarum, from 1623. Wikipedia to the rescue!

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