Zero Punctuation: Super Mario 3D World

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Super Mario 3D World

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Super Mario 3D World.

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Wii U sympathy in a ZP video? Outstanding! What a way to end 2013 when at the beginning there was nothing but hatred and bile for it.

That picture of Nintendo jerking off in a person's face with "Wiii" on the censor bar will haunt me, and I am attempting to make this comment as dumb as the Super Mario 3D World comments.

As a whole it's a very entertaining video which will keep me occupied 'till 2014, have a nice annual chocolate sugar crash day.

Desk Mario, nice.
But you're right, comments are typically pointless.

Find your gun.
Make sure it's loaded.
Put it to your temple.

Didn't NSMBU have that comments thing as well?

Eh, like it matters, anyway fun review.
I'm one of the first 5 comments for this video so I should probably make you suicidal right now.
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...... There, you just spent several seconds reading a sentence with absolutely no substance to it.

I may be a little late for this question, but where did the name 'Yahtzee' come from? Has it anything to do with that incredibly dull dice and something or another game that grandparents keep away for cold winter nights when the electricity dies?

Huh. I don't feel like shooting myself at all.

Thank you so much for mentioning the two-button thing! It's one of my only gripes with the game. 'Here, have a dozen different moves you execute with the same two buttons. Enjoy!'

Also, cats really do need to find a way of keeping their tail between their legs. A blatant view of an organic pencil sharpener really does ruin ones day :(

"I'll be thinking of five games from this year that I didn't totally despise"

It's ironic because I can't remember there being a year where Yahtzee liked as many games as he seemed to in this one. But I guess the lows were also much lower this time around.

*generic comment about stagnation and nintendo*

It was fun to watch Yahtzee rail at a Mario game though.

Though something is interesting; if the 2 player co-op is incredibly competitive, does that mean that the in-universe aftermath of a co-op match is Super Smash Bros.?

Like the character who lost issues a challenge to the winner and they fight it out in a duel to the death in Smash Bros?

Well that didn't disappoint.

Evonisia:
Wii U sympathy in a ZP video? Outstanding! What a way to end 2013 when at the beginning there was nothing but hatred and bile for it.

I suspect its because the ompetition came out and while more powerful, having a better launch line up (or at very least better targeted), and selling more the fact that they are neutered PC's stuffed with add-ons that detracts from gaming must be quite depressing.

Dammit, I missed being in the first 5 commenters. I was just going to say "I LOVE SAND"

Ken_J:
Find your gun.
Make sure it's loaded.
Put it to your temple.

I'm happy you got the 4th post in this thread.

Photoshop all day! Time to start leaving transparent background textures.

I have the game and I want to keep playing it...but...

Assassins Creed IV is addictive as hell.

I feel guilty for not playing it more...

"Yeah they cornered the market on sleeping aids..."
Laughed out lout during that whole section.

CWestfall:
Huh. I don't feel like shooting myself at all.

Then, where did this gun come from?

OT: As much as I would want to play this cat of a game, I'm still Rayman Legend's bitch even when I get a Wii U sometime in my future...

(Also, I would love a Wii U that could play all my "retro" VHS tapes...)

Is it weird that the thing I liked most was the Bushido Blade reference? Well, that and Desk Mario.

Evonisia:
Wii U sympathy in a ZP video? Outstanding! What a way to end 2013 when at the beginning there was nothing but hatred and bile for it.

Yes, and now to check the sky for four men on horses.

Josh12345:
...... There, you just spent several seconds reading a sentence with absolutely no substance to it.

I'm on the internet all day for work. I spent 7 hours a day reading sentences with absolutely no substance.

Evonisia:
Wii U sympathy in a ZP video? Outstanding! What a way to end 2013 when at the beginning there was nothing but hatred and bile for it.

It's more pity. Kind of like seeing someone who used to infuriate you in school is now homeless and destitute. It's not a case of "The Wii-U got better" it's more of a case that the other 'current gen' consoles got exponentially worse.

Hah, I love how he mentioned it's okay for Link to have bottled fairies but not Bowser. You never know...maybe the big shelled fellow was taking care of some evil, adorable fey O.o

I feel that at this point Mario needs gritty reboot
Mario- obese plumber with drinking problems
Luigi- weed smoking brother of Mario with PTSD (after 2 tours in Afghanistan)
Peach- independent prostitute that Mario regularly buys
Bowser- local pimp

Story: Bowser and Peach gets into conflict because Bowser don't like independent girls working on his territory. In process Bowser kidnaps her with intent to sell her. Mario find it out. Luigi pulls some of his old contacts and gets weapons. Armed to the teeth Mario and Luigi goes against Bowser and his goons. Ultra-violent shenanigans ensue.

P.S. Although that kinda reminds me plot of Super

Oh god. After a whole generation of avoiding anything that even smells like social interaction with strangers over the Internet because Nintendo has exactly as much faith in humanity as they ought to, they've gone all the way over the edge and started forcing said interaction into games even in non-online mode in the stupidest possible way.

No, sorry, I don't care if Yahtzee compared your system favorably to the Xbox One and PS4; that is officially the stupidest "feature" I've heard of in a game all year, and Sony and Microsoft are going to have to try to beat it.

FPLOON:
(Also, I would love a Wii U that could play all my "retro" VHS tapes...)

VHS? Dude, Beta tape is where it's at.

I had forgotten about the Wii U until you mentioned it, Yahtzee. Nintendo doesn't care about keeping Mario fresh because they know their audience is either under the age of 10 and has an attention span of 2 seconds or people in their 20's who still play Super Mario 64.

Alright, I'm gonna call Yahtzee's top 5 now:

-Papers Please
-Bioshock Infinite
-Luigi's Mansion 2
-Saints Row 4
-Aaaaand for the last one I'm going to make a crazy (And probably wrong) guess - just because Yahtzee said at the expo that his personal list is based on games he thinks people should play, I'm going to go ahead and guess Ride to Hell: Retribution

(I'm not going to bother trying to guess the bottom five, because there are SO MANY from this year)

rutcommapat2013:
"I'll be thinking of five games from this year that I didn't totally despise"

It's ironic because I can't remember there being a year where Yahtzee liked as many games as he seemed to in this one. But I guess the lows were also much lower this time around.

I think it's a combination of three things.

1) Yahtzee's mellowing out with age (was it last Escapist Expo where he said he was trying to be less negative?).

2) Game devs are better at the craft of making games. Aside from rare exceptions like Aliens: Colonial Marines, it's rare to see major game-breaking bugs, terrible graphics, or utterly broken games from the AAA market anymore. Even the most derivative, mediocre AAA game will still be competently made, have decent graphics and sound, workable controls, and passable voice-acting.

3) You especially expect to see this at the end of a console generation, after devs have spent 6 or 7 years mastering the capabilities of the systems and how to maximize their potential. We might see buggier, broken games again as devs start developing for the new-gen consoles, but it probably won't be as pronounced as previous generational shifts: the Xbox One and PS4 are basically just more powerful versions of their predecessors, and both are basically just dedicated gaming PCs. There's no radical shift in hardware capabilities to overcome this time. The only exception might be the WiiU, but since only Nintendo seems to be developing for it, they probably have a better handle on its capabilities than a 3rd-party dev would.

Well Yahtzee I see your point but I disagree that...WHERE DID THIS GUN COME FROM?!

Hutzpah Chicken:

FPLOON:
(Also, I would love a Wii U that could play all my "retro" VHS tapes...)

VHS? Dude, Beta tape is where it's at.

Well, excuse me for still having a working Beta tape player and yet I have more VHS tapes with no player of which to play them on... (That's where the Wii U comes in...)

The nice thing about the comments is that you can turn them off. In fact, if I remember, the game actively asks you if you want them before it turns them on. And this is the game that made me confident that there's at least one furry working on Mario. The resurgence of the Tanuki outfit, and now cat suits that make them actually act like cats? As Yahtzee said, someone out there is getting off to it.

I'm uncomfortable about the whole catsuit mario thinghy. It feels like furry thing.

Zachary Amaranth:
Is it weird that the thing I liked most was the Bushido Blade reference? Well, that and Desk Mario.

Haha, is it weird that I came here just to post that I was happy to hear him mention Bushido Blade?

Find me one case in which random user comments enrich an online experience

The "Souls" series, with the caveat that "random" in this case means being randomly selected from a very limited menu of terms and phrases.

Speaking of SMB2...those fairies. Didn't MovieBob in one of his little extra blurbs at the end of one of his Escape to the Movies spots look at said fairies and make a comparison to the fairy-like things you save at the end of SMB2? I'm kinda thinking SM3DW may very well be SMB2 ver 2.0 WiiU.

Heh...actually "furry" might be right, Yahtzee. Look at many of the powerups through the years: Raccoon, Tanuki, Frog, Hammer/Boomerang Bros. (basically a turtle), Rabbit, Bee, Emolg...er Flying Squirrel, and now Cat. Ya gotta wonder...

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