The Big Picture: MovieBob's Worst of 2013

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MovieBob's Worst of 2013

We saw MovieBob's best of 2013 so now enjoy the list you really wanted to see of the worst films of the past year.

Watch Video

I KNEW that would be your #1. Honestly, I have to agree. I walked out of it feeling let down, or that maybe I just wasn't into movies as I was used to.

Then I watched This is the End, and realized that no, I still loved movies. I just love GOOD movies.

Remember Bob, the last star Trek film before the reboot was this:


Do you really want to go back there?
Also, Number one should not be there. Only God Forgives should be there because it sucked more.

This year has been really up and down. I think you probably wisely skipped some of the true travesties of 2013 like *Shudders* Media.

Bob, that expanded intro isn't going to save you from people asking for your head with your #1 there.

That first one minute of the video = Man of Steel number one.

Rossco64:
That first one minute of the video = Man of Steel number one.

I had the same felling. I knew that it would be there after the intro.

Bittersteel:
Remember Bob, the last star Trek film before the reboot was this:


Do you really want to go back there?
Also, Number one should not be there. Only God Forgives should be there because it sucked more.

[spoiler] [/spoiler_]

That is how you make a spoiler for huge images that make people have to scroll past them for five minutes (Remove the underscore obviously). Please use it.

Again, I gave Man of Steel a sort of pass but, looking back, I had to rethink that and wonder why I did. So far, these are two reasons on why I did.

First, between Man of Steel's awful editing jumping us from one point to the next (we're on Krypton in its final days, now we're on Deadliest Catch for some reason, now we're in grade school with Clark trying to deal with his powers, etc), the joyless story, the mishandling of the characters, and the excessive action scenes, I may have suffered the cinematic version of whiplash and a severe concussion. Second, I'm at the point where I cannot see DC Comics and Warner Brothers do anything right with Superman or the entire DC Universe. Ever since DC Entertainment was formed (or, if you really want to get analytical, the day Dan Didio was hired), the entire company has stumbled with their properties, burned too many bridges with creators and fans, and nearly squandered any good qualities it has left for dumbass tactics that failed back in the 90s and trying to chase the fast buck. And do I really need to point out Warner Brothers track record with the DC movies?

I'd like to say "Let's all hope 2014 is a much better year than this one was." but there is the fact that Transformers 4 is coming out later that year. Then again, we're getting Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy, so one can hope.

I actually really liked American Hustle. But yeah, it did drag a bit.

And the actor you were referring to was indeed wasted on the screen-time he was given. At least Louis CK was awesome in it.

You're added gasp in the video was appropriate. I actually let out a gasp at that part.

I still don't find it a bad movie. It just had a confusing and directionless screenplay...okay, yeah, that is pretty much the basic problem for any bad movie, but...I 'unno, it's hard to explain. I didn't hate it, I didn't even really dislike it. The weird thing is that, unlike your last list, I actually think I saw most of these movies but I wasn't as mad at them as you probably were. I think I'm more annoyed by boring movies. I think, there were only four or five movies that I would consider to be my worst of the year. I guess my top three would probably be Oblivion, Olympus has Fallen, and 2 Guns.

Having recently watched Man of Steel again, I have to say I disagree. I think there were a lot of interesting character ideas presented in this movie. Granted, I am not really sure why there need to be SO much destruction, however, I think that is caused more by a downplay of what Superman is, than what happens when humans get caught in the crossfire.

In the Marvel Universe, the world, though filled with super powered beings, is still relatively "small" in the sense of how these beings impact the world as a whole. At least that has been there take in the movies.

Superman is beyond all of that. The modern take on Superman is that he is beyond the world he happens to be on. His power is so vast, that it transcends everything else that exists on Earth. If this movie failed, IMO, it was in not giving enough weight to exactly what that means. A being that is literally unstoppable, yet chooses to co-exist as one of us.

Superman did not react enough to what the consequences of his power/presence on the planet were, they did not establish a string enough case for the trust and gratitude bestowed on him, by helping to fix a mess that he is indirectly responsible for. In the Avengers, real world cost is established/referenced. Captain America is used to bridge the gap between the ordinary people and the extraordinary events. In Superman, he walks away scott free, not because he has been accepted, but rather because there is no other option. "You are just going to have to trust me". What? What government in their right mind is going to accept that? We have no defense against you other than your word? To me THAT is the only real problem with this movie, they establish him as a god among men, and then expect the audience and the cinematic world to just say "hey, ok, glad you are on our side..."

Maybe in the sequel they will explore this more.

Pick up the Star Trek movies where we left off? With Patrick Stewart? Are you forgetting that the TNG movies were probably THE worst things to have ever happened to Star Trek?

EDIT: already pointed out I see. But Nemesis was a masterpiece compared to fucking Insurrection. Dear GOD.

Bruce Willis has already done enough that stopped him from being cool. Like simply not giving a shit anymore. I swear if he had hair I wouldn't be able to distinguish him from Harrison Ford.

Please Hollywood, stop casting these boring geezers!

Called it (about Man of Steel being in the list and it's not suprising it's number 1)! In saying so man I competely forgot about The Purge and The Lone Ranger.

Duffeknol:
Pick up the Star Trek movies where we left off? With Patrick Stewart? Are you forgetting that the TNG movies were probably THE worst things to have ever happened to Star Trek?

EDIT: already pointed out I see. But Nemesis was a masterpiece compared to fucking Insurrection. Dear GOD.

But it is supperior in one area: It is the shortest of them!

I feel that The Purge was my biggest letdown. That movie had so much potential to be turned into a terrible horror thing.

Bittersteel:

Duffeknol:
Pick up the Star Trek movies where we left off? With Patrick Stewart? Are you forgetting that the TNG movies were probably THE worst things to have ever happened to Star Trek?

EDIT: already pointed out I see. But Nemesis was a masterpiece compared to fucking Insurrection. Dear GOD.

But it is supperior in one area: It is the shortest of them!

Plus they're what got Stoklasa doing his Plinkett Reviews, so there's that.

Bittersteel:
Remember Bob, the last star Trek film before the reboot was this:


Do you really want to go back there?

Admittedly, Nemesis was probably the weakest of the TNG movies, although considering the bar set by Generations and First Contact, it's still far and above Into Darkness. A lot of the movie kind of showed the stagnation of the franchise at that point that ultimately doomed Enterprise and set the stage for the reboot. A part of me wants more Star Trek (one without Abrams at the helm, at the very least), but a reflection of the series suggests that perhaps Star Trek needs to be put to bed for a solid decade and maybe come back as a HBO-style miniseries, either taking place in the future or following a ship on a more mundane/intelligence-oriented/covert ops mission (Section 31 wasn't just made up for Into Darkness).

Bittersteel:
Number one should not be there. Only God Forgives should be there because it sucked more.

Bob seemed to actually really like that one. I haven't seen it myself, and after Brad Jones' review, I certainly don't plan to.

Markunator:

Bittersteel:
Number one should not be there. Only God Forgives should be there because it sucked more.

Bob seemed to actually really like that one. I haven't seen it myself, and after Brad Jones' review, I certainly don't plan to.

Tip from me: Don't see it. It is a tranwreak. It is an awful movie that is boring as fuck. And I don't know why Moviebob like it so much. It is the worst film of the year. Period.

Aren't there two more die hards confirmed?

Duffeknol:
Pick up the Star Trek movies where we left off? With Patrick Stewart? Are you forgetting that the TNG movies were probably THE worst things to have ever happened to Star Trek?

EDIT: already pointed out I see. But Nemesis was a masterpiece compared to fucking Insurrection. Dear GOD.

I'll be the one to go out on a limb. Of the pre-reboot movies, First Contact is the best one. It's not great. It gets mired down in the Earth-Cochran timeline. However, it's Patrick Stewart getting to take Captain Ahab and give it a go on screen in a Star Trek movie and that's worth the price. Also, Alice Krige getting to be Alice Krige. Evil.

Of the rest?

Star Trek: The Motion Picture: Bleh. No, really. Bleh.

Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan: I think part of the reason that people liked this movie, or convinced themselves that they did is 1) they missed Trek a lot, and the first movie was not a return, this one sorta was; 2) they liked the Khan idea that never really got fleshed out to a proper extent in the show; 3) err... ear slugs? Maybe? I saw Khan in the theater when it came out and could never really understand the draw. Ricardo Montalban wearing a plastic chest and hamming it up almost as bad as Shatner and spouting lines (again, we can reference Moby Dick) that he simply quotes from other, smarter people and, damning for me, not once did he display any act of working "genius." Yet, we are supposed to buy that he's a genius, super human. Most of the cast sorta milled around staying out of the way of Shat and Montalban and fell into the background. The only real stand out was Leonard Nimoy... which is no real surprise. Maybe my lack of blind love for TOS (I prefer TNG) doesn't make me look at this movie with rose colored glasses so, clearly, I'm missing what so many people like about this one. It's probably the best of the TOS movies, but that's not a stretch.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock: Christopher Lloyd as a Klingon. Spock coming back from the dead on a genesis planet and growing at an accelerated rate. Can I stop now? This movie was boring, at best.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home: Dumb. Typical time traveling (Oh look, the USS Enterprise, nudge nudge) shtick alongside the "save the whales" and other '80s cliches. Can't we have a Star Trek that takes place in space again? Please?

Star Trek V: The Travesty: Yeah. Do I need to discuss this one?

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country: Well, it should have been called the undiscovered failure. Not because it was a failure or bad movie. It's that they didn't know that there was one major fault that dropped this movie down from being the best one to date: Shatner. That whole Rura Penthe (sp) section with Shatner again hamming it up like the joke of an actor that he is, culminating with a painful argument/fight with a shapeshifter disguised as himself completely hamstrings this movie. It was otherwise a good premise, story, and execution. If we could have just left the whole movie to Spock and Sulu it might have been fantastic.

Star Trek: Generations: GAH. Here's Malcolm McDowell, one of the best villains ever. Let's make him boring and his movie kinda awful. Let's also kill Kirk (yay!), in a really dull way (boo!).

Star Trek: First Contact: Discussed above.

Star Trek: Insurrection and Nemesis: I put these two together because I saw them both, thought "not good, not particularly horrid" and then promptly completely forgot everything about them. They were that compelling, apparently.

So, I really never get all the "untouchable" status of the TOS and it's movies (which were almost all bad) and the Trek fans' (Trekker/Trekkie/Spokker/whatever) negative reaction to the reboot. I found that the reboot consistently delivered something that most of the Trek movies and series' forgot: Fun. I know that that wasn't part of Roddenberry's purpose and that each show had to have a point/moral, but sometimes fun is a bit more important. Our movies have been mired down so much in dark/gritty/moralistic lately (see Nolan's Batman series) that that entire take on entertainment is starting to get exhausted and exhausting. I still haven't watched Elysium solely because I'm afraid (and probably wrong) that it will remind me of District 9 too much, which I enjoyed but never wanted to watch again. Is there a problem with the Pacific Rim take on movies? Fun is fun. Dumb is ok, if it's done well and fun. Not every movie needs to be Schindler's List and, most certainly, Trek doesn't. I enjoy some TOS, I enjoy most TNG and find a lot of good points in DS9, Voyager, and even Enterprise. The new Trek reboot really doesn't step all over those, it just gives a more fun-focused take on the universe and that, to me, is a good thing. Oh, and Benedict Cumberbatch actually pulled off Khan, for me, finally, giving the character some real believability and menace, unlike watching Trek II and waiting for Tattoo to show up at any moment.

Too much lens flare though. Agreed on that point.

My biggest problem with Man of Steel is that I was just...bored. It's not a feeling I can say I usually exhibit during movies, but that's how I felt during Man of Steel. I was just bored. It was like flipping through a mediocre comic book in a Dentist's waiting room. Not necessarily BAD just...boring.

Alarien:

Duffeknol:
Pick up the Star Trek movies where we left off? With Patrick Stewart? Are you forgetting that the TNG movies were probably THE worst things to have ever happened to Star Trek?

EDIT: already pointed out I see. But Nemesis was a masterpiece compared to fucking Insurrection. Dear GOD.

-snip-

And now I'll underappreciate you working really hard on that long post by just lazily linking you here:

http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-trek/

Pretty much my opinion on all of the TNG movies. They're lazy, insulting and DUMB.

Hold the phone...
Who thinks Movie 43 sucks? No seriously who. Point me at 'em I'll show um what what for!

I expected man of steel to make the list after you said that your opinions changed , but I didn't expect it to be number 1.

Bittersteel:

Markunator:

Bittersteel:
Number one should not be there. Only God Forgives should be there because it sucked more.

Bob seemed to actually really like that one. I haven't seen it myself, and after Brad Jones' review, I certainly don't plan to.

Tip from me: Don't see it. It is a tranwreak. It is an awful movie that is boring as fuck. And I don't know why Moviebob like it so much. It is the worst film of the year. Period.

Only God Forgives is a pinnacle of cinema that's only described as 'bad' by plebs who don't understand the first thing about cinema.

I'd say this if I was a total snob, which I'm not. I fully understand why people hated it. I saw it in a cinema and pretty much everyone booed. I fucking LOVED it, though. I understood it. This doesn't make me feel better than anyone, don't worry. But the movie doesn't deserve to be called 'bad', because it was simply too well made for that. It might've not been your (or anyone's) thing, but objectively, it wasn't bad. It was fucking great. Just so awkward and different that no one got it or could appreciate it.

I recently watched Man of Steel again and while i hated it when i saw it a the cinema i gotta say watching it again it wasn't that bad.

Duffeknol:

Alarien:

Duffeknol:
Pick up the Star Trek movies where we left off? With Patrick Stewart? Are you forgetting that the TNG movies were probably THE worst things to have ever happened to Star Trek?

EDIT: already pointed out I see. But Nemesis was a masterpiece compared to fucking Insurrection. Dear GOD.

-snip-

And now I'll underappreciate you working really hard on that long post by just lazily linking you here:

http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-trek/

Pretty much my opinion on all of the TNG movies. They're lazy, insulting and DUMB.

Unfortunately, it's really hard to listen to much of those videos without wanting to pull out my own tongue and eat it. However, the one complaint I heard about First Contact was that it was dumbed down and lacked a complicated plot. Hmm. The Borg show up. Let's kill the Borg. Is that really an problem? Data gets tempted, Picard gets to be Ahab. Alice Krige out-acts most of the people who've ever acted in a Trek show or movie. I fail to see the problem here.

Left 4 Dead is one of my top games in the last 10 years. It's plot, I believe Yahtzee states "Here are some zombies."

I agree with a lot of the comments on the other movies, and even some of the ones about First Contact, but overall, sometimes we just need to look for enjoyment in entertainment. If it's not entertaining, then what's the point?

I spend half my reading time on H.P. Lovecraft lately. Extremely strong English writing. Very thought provoking. The rest of the time I've been reading "simple and fun," which, lately, has been Glen Cook's The Black Company series or Illona Andrews' Kate Daniels books. If I spent all my time reading Lovecraft, I'd probably end up stabbing myself in the spleen.

So, Bob still hates Man of Steel, even after his opening about being a human whose opinions change. In other news, birds go tweet, cows go moo, and farts still stink. And I see that there's a flame war a-comin' and for once I am not saving a good seat and fixing popcorn, but about to hide under my desk.
Also, American Hustle is a comedy? It's funny if you think about David O. Russell screaming at people on set and eating a knuckle sandwich from Christian Bale, just like with George Clooney and Three Kings.

Duffeknol:

Bittersteel:

Markunator:

Bob seemed to actually really like that one. I haven't seen it myself, and after Brad Jones' review, I certainly don't plan to.

Tip from me: Don't see it. It is a tranwreak. It is an awful movie that is boring as fuck. And I don't know why Moviebob like it so much. It is the worst film of the year. Period.

Only God Forgives is a pinnacle of cinema that's only described as 'bad' by plebs who don't understand the first thing about cinema.

I'd say this if I was a total snob, which I'm not. I fully understand why people hated it. I saw it in a cinema and pretty much everyone booed. I fucking LOVED it, though. I understood it. This doesn't make me feel better than anyone, don't worry. But the movie doesn't deserve to be called 'bad', because it was simply too well made for that. It might've not been your (or anyone's) thing, but objectively, it wasn't bad. It was fucking great. Just so awkward and different that no one got it or could appreciate it.

I stuited filmhistory for 1,5 years and I can easily say that it sucked monkeyfuck. I don't care two fucks if it is well made. If the pace is awful, the story shit, not a good character at all, abysmal performances from everyone in it and as prentiouns as hell, Then I can say that it sucks. It fails as a movie.

daxterx2005:
Aren't there two more die hards confirmed?

Yep and the reason is simple "A Good Day to Die Hard" made $60 million profit, sequel's are made when a film is profitable it has nothing to do with people liking it. And just cause this was the worst and most boring Die Hard film ever doesn't mean the next one will be.

Bittersteel:

Duffeknol:

Bittersteel:

Tip from me: Don't see it. It is a tranwreak. It is an awful movie that is boring as fuck. And I don't know why Moviebob like it so much. It is the worst film of the year. Period.

Only God Forgives is a pinnacle of cinema that's only described as 'bad' by plebs who don't understand the first thing about cinema.

I'd say this if I was a total snob, which I'm not. I fully understand why people hated it. I saw it in a cinema and pretty much everyone booed. I fucking LOVED it, though. I understood it. This doesn't make me feel better than anyone, don't worry. But the movie doesn't deserve to be called 'bad', because it was simply too well made for that. It might've not been your (or anyone's) thing, but objectively, it wasn't bad. It was fucking great. Just so awkward and different that no one got it or could appreciate it.

I stuited filmhistory for 1,5 years and I can easily say that it sucked monkeyfuck. I don't care two fucks if it is well made. If the pace is awful, the story shit, not a good character at all, abysmal performances from everyone in it and as prentiouns as hell, Then I can say that it sucks. It fails as a movie.

It doesn't fail as a work of art. But true, it fails as a movie. I don't even think it was trying to be one.

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