Feed Dump: The Year in Dumb News

The Year in Dumb News

A special New Year's Day edition of Feed Dump to cover all that special dumb news from 2013.

Watch Video

YES! The penis church is in the town only 12 miles from me! You have no idea how happy I am to have a local story featured on Feed Dump. Or is that sadness... I'm not sure really, but whatever, still exciting.

EDIT: By the way, the story is that the church was built in that shape to protect a tree that was in the construction site, but yeah, totally looks like a cock and balls. Plus, Dixon already has a statue that gets referred to as "the flying penis"

Yeah, they take the "dix" in Dixon pretty literal.

Considering they left it out, I will answer for people where the creepy clown was: Northamptonshire. So, I guess Matt was closest there, but he was still off.

Anyway, here's to 2014 and another great batch of dump!

Come to think of it, that means that jacked-up jack-off guy fought off 15 cops one-handed. That is impressive.

In fairness to Beej, quite a few things this year turned out to be shaped like a Swastika.

Maybe fork-guy just stuck the handle in?

Never stop punning Matt, never stop.

Kathleen, we're having presidential elections this November. Consider running, then you can reinstate a monarchy and make every public servant a cat.
That would actually improve things.

And 2014 is off to a great start!

That bar scene must have been something to behold.

KefkaCultist:

Cheeky atheist architects strike again!

Particularly good feed dump this week. ... perhaps it's because I really like puns though.

Argh... not a fork! It hurts to think about it! What have you done?

The weirdest thing about Dogbutt Jesus is that from the waist up it does look remarkably like Jesus, but from the waist down it looks like he's got giant hairy dog genitals. It's like some terrifying Jesus/Bigfoot hybrid. (This is the point at which an atheist scoffs and says 'Hey, at least Bigfoot got photographed once!)

Don Reba:
Argh... not a fork! It hurts to think about it! What have you done?

If I remember correctly, it was Alfred Kinsey, famous American sexologist, who had a tendency to insert a toothbrush, bristles first, into his.
He also used pencils and similar objects.
So a fork could not be that much of a stretch.

Right... bad pun.... I'm going now...

JenSeven:

Don Reba:
Argh... not a fork! It hurts to think about it! What have you done?

If I remember correctly, it was Alfred Kinsey, famous American sexologist, who had a tendency to insert a toothbrush, bristles first, into his.
He also used pencils and similar objects.
So a fork could not be that much of a stretch.

Right... bad pun.... I'm going now...

(shudders) I don't know what a "sexologist" is, but I hope he was not doing that on a grant.

Redlin5:
And 2014 is off to a great start!

That bar scene must have been something to behold.

KefkaCultist:

Cheeky atheist architects strike again!

I am going to start a Kickstarter with the objective of funding me a trip to this church so I can plant shrubs around the church, that when view from above, will look like a hand.

Can't we find some way to make Kathleen an actual Romanian princess? There has to be some kind of fruity law like here in the UK that if you own a small portion of some ancient estate it gives you SOME kind of landed title. We can get minor nobility titles as a joke present so ancient and stupid are our laws, surely Romania with it's slightly less illustrious royal family can finagle some way that Kathleen (a worthy princess if ever there was one) could be regarded nobility of distant motherland.

Make it so.

JenSeven:

Don Reba:
Argh... not a fork! It hurts to think about it! What have you done?

If I remember correctly, it was Alfred Kinsey, famous American sexologist, who had a tendency to insert a toothbrush, bristles first, into his.
He also used pencils and similar objects.
So a fork could not be that much of a stretch.

Right... bad pun.... I'm going now...

Don't they use grad students specifically so you don't have to personally deal with these sorts of experiments?

Thunderous Cacophony:
Don't they use grad students specifically so you don't have to personally deal with these sorts of experiments?

The idea of being a grad student in sexology suddenly does not look so appealing.

JenSeven:

Don Reba:
Argh... not a fork! It hurts to think about it! What have you done?

If I remember correctly, it was Alfred Kinsey, famous American sexologist, who had a tendency to insert a toothbrush, bristles first, into his.
He also used pencils and similar objects.
So a fork could not be that much of a stretch.

Right... bad pun.... I'm going now...

As someone who has had things stuck up his urethra for medical procedures.... DUDE! What the fuck is wrong with him!

Keep your chickens out of my cat, Kathleen.

Also, a FORK?! OW. NO. Bad.

Eric the Orange:

JenSeven:

Don Reba:
Argh... not a fork! It hurts to think about it! What have you done?

If I remember correctly, it was Alfred Kinsey, famous American sexologist, who had a tendency to insert a toothbrush, bristles first, into his.
He also used pencils and similar objects.
So a fork could not be that much of a stretch.

Right... bad pun.... I'm going now...

As someone who has had things stuck up his urethra for medical procedures.... DUDE! What the fuck is wrong with him!

Well, he was a professor, he studied the sexual behaviour of Americans.
He also has a famous quote, something along the lines of: 96% of Americans masturbate on a regular basis, the remaining 4% lied about not doing that.
He had an irrational fear of potatoes.
He is said to also have come up with the name for the "missionary position". He actually took that from another writer, and it wasn't about sex. The man actually was describing a kind of hug if I remember correctly.

So yeah... A lot wrong with him, besides his urethral fetish.

It could potentially come from a restrictive childhood.
Small children have the tendency to put everything and anything into their mouths.
It could potentially stem from parents restricting that and the feeling lingering on and altering into that. A natural curiosity about the body and "what goes where" turned a bit bizarre.
At least to our western understandings. It could be that in some cultures it's normal to decorate your urethra with bamboo or something.

As a PSA, I thought I'd post the first of the new Crapshots here in case any Escapist...ites? haven't been made aware of it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OhLiJbwGDQ

Kathleen, please come back to do Checkpoint where your blouses and resolution in pixels were much better!

You have my vote, Kathleen!

I'm surprised I knew most of the answers to those questions... Must have spend a lot longer on the Internet than I thought this year.

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here