Zero Punctuation: Top 5 Games of 2013

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Ah, this list was glorious and so funny for me. Your no.1 was also the one on my own list so happy to see that as well.

Thanks for making the start of the year with this one Yahtzee!

Mr. Q:

Aliens: Colonial Marines and Simcity was a no brainer but its weird Ride to Hell: Retribution got left out.

But Ride to Hell: Retribution got the worst of all time award. Listed after the number 1 worst at 5:20.

Any chance of an Ashes Cricket 2013 review? Seeing as no other game has been recalled post release, would be entertaining

I was sure that Ride to Hell: Retribution would be the #1 worst game of the year...it seems even then I was giving it too much credit. First irony bomb of the year has just gone off in the Ward household.

Happy New Year!

So for anyone who loves stats & lists (like me), here is the rundown of Yahtzee's best and worst:

Best Game
2007 - Portal (Unofficial - described as "perfect")
2008 - Saints Row 2
2009 - Batman: Arkham Asylum
2010 - Just Cause 2
2011 - Portal 2
2012 - Spec Ops: The Line
2013 - Bioshock: Infinite

Worst Game
"Honorable Mention" - Too Human (considered worst game reviewed for years)
2010 - Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days
2011 - Modern Warfare 3 & Battlefield 3
2012 - Amy
2013 - Call of Duty: Ghosts
Lifetime Achievement for "Total Abhorrence" - Ride to Hell: Retribution (2013)

There you have it. Happy New Year, Yahtzee. May I earn your never-ending disgust.

Drummodino:
A little surprised Resident Evil 6 didn't get a mention (except for that virus comment) but looking at what it was up against I can understand why.

Check last year's list for RE6

JoJo:
Pug! Also, poor Aliens: Colonial Marines, it didn't deserve this.

To adjust your comment a bit: the Aliens franchise didn't deserved this; Colonial Marines deserves its own medal like Ride To Hell but for "Biggest Scam". And this is coming from someone who isn't an Aliens fan.

My favorite part about the video was at the end with the tagline "I suspect next year will just be a bottom 10 followed by a gunshot".

I agree, mostly, with the bottom five but the top five has me vexxed a bit. Bioshock Inifinte being "better than other fps games this year" does not a best game make. I would rather you have put Paper's Please at the top. Sure, it might've seemed pretentious... but at least you wouldn't be rewarding a game that turned into the JRP of shooters.

Seriously, they kept the story progression and halo-ish shooting on seperate side of a wrought iron fence made of tigers. You can feel the shift like you just dropped from 5th gear to second by accident.

mjc0961:
I'm just happy that at least someone remembered that there are games objectively worse than Knack. Even if you didn't like Knack it objectively has no place on a list like this because there are plenty of games that are provably worse than it this year.

(And no, I'm not just talking about Jim's video from two days ago. He's one of them, but not the only one by any means.)

ShinobiJedi42:
I'd be really curious to see what Yahtzee thinks of Gone Home. That's easily my game of the year.

I'd guess he would think it's shit. It's a horror game that fails at being scary which is something he's blasted plenty of games for in the past, and it's less interactive than Beyond Two Souls which he just complained about again in this video.

The only reason Gone Home isn't on my own worst game of the year list at #1 is because I can't in good faith call it a game. I can certainly call it bad, though.

Someone below you mentioned a bait and switch. I agree. It never fully advertises itself as a horror game. And as someone who has read the entire Twilight saga and fully hated the shallow, incessant romance, I disagree that the story is worse than Twilight. The romance in the story was very real. It was subtle romance. No grand sweeps of declaration of enthrallment you see in the Twilight saga. I've felt those feelings before when I was that age. The nostalgia felt hauntingly real and evoked emotions in me I haven't felt since then. That's why I loved the game so much. It's very personal. I also love how it's one of the few video games I've played where the player character is not the main character of the story. I'm sorry you feel that way about the game, though. It's a real shame.

Inspired choice for your Lifetime Achievement, Yahtzee.

I swear to Buddha, Deep Silver CANNOT go a single year without either 1) Causing a horrifying controversy with it's Premium Edition game side-item choices 2) Making abhorrent turds imitating games or 3)Doing both at the same time. Seriously, Ride to Hell, Call of Juarez: The Cartel, and Dead Island (including that infuriating decapitated and fully amputated bikini-clad torso babe statue [bleeds internally]).

Dear Deep Silver, in the service of honesty, please remove Silver from your company name and place "The" and then "End" before and after "Deep" respectively. Because that is where your company's business practices take their water breaks.

Bioshock?... That was surprisingly populist and non hipsterish of him. After PP I thought he was gonna say Stanley Parable.

Can't have a problem with any game on the top 4. I don't know about 5 but Metal Gear games really don't agree with me and I'd sooner go for Tomb Raider or GTA V on that one. I enjoyed Papers, Please and Bioshock: Infinte immensly, even though many people seem to prefer Gone Home over the former and have been really critical of the latter's combat.

Haven't played much of the bottom 5; I wasn't going to waste my money on SimCity or Aliens after all the bad press those games got (for good reason) and David Cage just seemed to have lost it. Call of Duty doesn't even show up on my radar; I can't imagine anyone outside their frat boy target demographic actually enjoying that game.

First the community and now Yatzhee?! Will someone please tell me which version of Papers Please everyone is playing that such a incredible game?! I must have gotten like a beta release with all the bugs, crashes, poor optimization and sticky mess instead of the epic mind-altering version everyone else got.

Silentpony:
First the community and now Yatzhee?! Will someone please tell me which version of Papers Please everyone is playing that such a incredible game?! I must have gotten like a beta release with all the bugs, crashes, poor optimization and sticky mess instead of the epic mind-altering version everyone else got.

All I can say is, where and when did you get that game? I got it from GOG on Sept 2. Specifically, shortly after seeing LRR's "Papers, Please" video.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/loadingreadyrun/8009-Papers-Please

I'm genuinely surprised that Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon didn't crack the top five. He seemed much more enthusiastic about it than he did about Metal Gear Rising or The Last of Us at the time.

Also, someone really needs to get around to telling David Cage that he is completely devoid of worth. Heavy Rain and Beyond: Two Souls are basically this generation's two worst games, and I'd honestly rather play Superman on the Nintendo 64 than either of them.

ShinobiJedi42:
I'd be really curious to see what Yahtzee thinks of Gone Home. That's easily my game of the year.

I completely agree with both sentences - Gone Home was hands down my favorite game of 2013, and I'd love to hear Yahtzee's opinion on it. I can't tell if he, as a writer, would love it, or if he'd (for partly the same reason) hate it.

I totally agree on this entire list, which was quite pleasing to me.

Crazy Zaul:
Bioshock?... That was surprisingly populist and non hipsterish of him. After PP I thought he was gonna say Stanley Parable.

He didn't review it, though, so it couldn't have been No.1 even if he liked it the most. He did do an Extra Punctuation about it, though.

So I see that Ride to Hell got 0th Place in Zero Punctuation! Ha!

...Kill me now.

I would've given it to Papers, Please, if only for the unbelievable feat of making government paperwork tense, exciting and a constant moral dilemma.

As someone working retail for the holidays, that opening for the #5 Top made me smile, because I have earned it. Kind of pleasantly surprised at his choice, because MGRR wasn't even trying to be "art" like the other two (about dirty depressed people getting beat up) and it remembered, like Saints Row IV, that video games should be FUN. Also surprised that Bioshock:Infinite got the Top #! spot, since its gameplay does what CoD: Ghosts's does. Or did Ken Levine do that on purpose to be "satirical"? Like how the Beastie Boys made "Fight For Your Right (To Party)" to make fun of the people who like that kind of music?

Mydnyght:

Silentpony:
SNIP

All I can say is, where and when did you get that game? I got it from GOG on Sept 2. Specifically, shortly after seeing LRR's "Papers, Please" video.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/loadingreadyrun/8009-Papers-Please

Sometime around Halloween, so lets go with maybe October 29th? I've had so many god damn problems with it. First it took forever to install correctly, like 2-3 times. Then it kept crashing. Then it kept freezing. Then it kept bugging. Then it broke my Steam, rewriting some Cloud file than couldn't be fixed without deleting all of Steam and re installing the entire thing. And you know what, I'm not going to re-install Papers Please.
All of those problems, I could live with. Truly, that won't keep me away from a game. But it was boring too. On top of barely playable...it was barely play worthy. And now that I think of it, 'play' is a little too generous. It felt like one of those crappy minigames in larger MMOs, like Fallout: New Vegas gambling, or Skyrim wood cutting. Like it was meant to be in some larger game, but the entire larger game got axed.

I am woefully unimpressed with this game. I'd rank it alongside SimCity for utter failure.

Loved the last award, I'm still laughing right now.

JoJo:
Pug! Also, poor Aliens: Colonial Marines, it didn't deserve this. Bioshock Infinite is a good choice for number one though it could have done with more than a sentence's justification, still I guess there's only so much you can fit into a five minute video commenting on ten eleven games.

Scuse me? If by didnt deserve this, you mean the franchise deserved better? I agree. If you mean it didnt deserve to be on this list I can only counter with, "what?".

I had no interest in Revengeance and I haven't played Papers Please yet but the other 3 are also my 3 favourites. I'm not actually sure which one I like more.
Saints Row 4 was pure, hilarious fun
Infinite told an amazing story and I loved the skyrails
Black Flag is great in pretty much every way. Doing pirate stuff never gets old.

Piecewise:
But...bioshock infinite is a terrible half finished mess of generic shooting, shit characters and more plot holes then a novel made of Swiss Cheese. It eschews all the good parts of the first game for bland call of duty shooting, copy pasted plasmids and even less challenge. Not to mention every single e3 preview they had was full of lies and broken promises. Seriously, go look at those previews and then think back to the game you played. It is a profound disappointment.

... And now compare it to the other games released this year. It's definitely one of the -better- games this year, warts and all.

I love these videos.

I was surprised by the worst game of the year. There are worse games out there to be sure, but then I sat and thought about it. Ghosts is easily the worst CoD game so far, by far. The campaign was boring, the characters were flat, and it just seemed to never have that 'pop' moment like the others. And then that ending...I can accept a lot in a CoD game. I cannot accept that that ending was possible.


So yeah, I guess CoD Ghosts is probably the worst game of the year. It was so bland, so much of a letdown, so much of, "Is this all there is?" that it was a bigger letdown than actual bad games.

Rangerboy87:
So for anyone who loves stats & lists (like me), here is the rundown of Yahtzee's best and worst:

Best Game
2007 - Portal (Unofficial - described as "perfect")
2008 - Saints Row 2
2009 - Batman: Arkham Asylum
2010 - Just Cause 2
2011 - Portal 2
2012 - Spec Ops: The Line
2013 - Bioshock: Infinite

Worst Game
"Honorable Mention" - Too Human (considered worst game reviewed for years)
2010 - Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days
2011 - Modern Warfare 3 & Battlefield 3
2012 - Amy
2013 - Call of Duty: Ghosts

Lifetime Achievement for "Total Abhorrence" - Ride to Hell: Retribution (2013)

Thanks for the list, it's actually pretty helpful for building up a belated PS3 collection.

My favourite quote in this top 5 list has to be the Assassin's Creed chat with Yahtzee because it made me want to rewatch the entire video just to hear that line again.

Cheers to a better gaming year and not one that makes you put a gun to your head!

Xangi:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdNhwb7iuI4

Not sure if you can embed here, it's been a while, but here's a video summing up what you SHOULD have thought about Bioshit Infinite if you were actually paying attention. Yes you. To sum it up: Story's garbage, gameplay is garbage, message is garbage and Ken Levine's a moron.

Really? You're going to try and tell people the opinion they "should" have about a game? Wow. That's... the only word I can think of is arrogant.

Personally, I adored most of the games on this list (haven't played Papers, Please or Metal Gear), and would wager my Top 5 would look pretty similar. Saints Row IV was an entertaining blast, Black Flag is fantastic, and Bioshock Infinite is certainly my favourite game of the year as well. The gameplay was great, certainly way more interesting than any other FPS I played this year, the story was interesting and made me think, the characters were brilliant, and I really enjoyed puzzling out the ending with my brother.

Scrumpmonkey:
that's currently a copy of Papers Please for you and SIX friends on steam

But I can't think of six people I hate enough to buy papers please for. *ba-dum-tis*.

OT: Interesting list with some surprises (didn't expect Infinite in the top slot or MGR on the list at all) and some totally predictable picks (I knew a CoD or battlefield game would be his no. 1 worst with absolute certainty, and at this point I'm fairly that not thinking Papers Please is the blessed offspring of Jesus and Gandhi is simply not allowed) but what really stuck me was that I didn't enjoy a single game on his top five list except SR:IV, which just reminds me that this was a really meh year for gaming.

major_chaos:

Scrumpmonkey:
that's currently a copy of Papers Please for you and SIX friends on steam

But I can't think of six people I hate enough to buy papers please for. *ba-dum-tis*.

Oh stop it, you

image

Papers please is kind of a niche title i suppose. It does require a taste for soviet/ post soviet suppression and some wider knowledge to fully appreciate. As does Bioshock infinite, a degree in early 20th century American history wouldn't go a miss for that game.

Sniper Team 4:
I love these videos.

I was surprised by the worst game of the year. There are worse games out there to be sure, but then I sat and thought about it. Ghosts is easily the worst CoD game so far, by far. The campaign was boring, the characters were flat, and it just seemed to never have that 'pop' moment like the others. And then that ending...I can accept a lot in a CoD game. I cannot accept that that ending was possible.


So yeah, I guess CoD Ghosts is probably the worst game of the year. It was so bland, so much of a letdown, so much of, "Is this all there is?" that it was a bigger letdown than actual bad games.

I have to agree on that ending is stupid as hell, but because of it batshit insanity, I want to see what happen next.

Is there some kind of band that joined together to try and shout down everyone who likes and praises Bioshock Infinite? Literally everywhere I go there's some extremely overbearing people calling people stupid for liking it, linking videos to demonstrate how wrong people are for liking it and calling everything and everyone related to its creation bad in some way.

ShinobiJedi42:
I'd be really curious to see what Yahtzee thinks of Gone Home. That's easily my game of the year.

Keep it down, that game's apparently the overrated spawn of Satan himself down here :P 90% sure that's because you don't mow down hordes of zombies in it but meh

Piecewise:
But...bioshock infinite is a terrible half finished mess of generic shooting, shit characters and more plot holes then a novel made of Swiss Cheese. It eschews all the good parts of the first game for bland call of duty shooting, copy pasted plasmids and even less challenge. Not to mention every single e3 preview they had was full of lies and broken promises. Seriously, go look at those previews and then think back to the game you played. It is a profound disappointment.

Is that what you thought or actually regurgitated from so many other people complaining about the game, because I'm fairly certain I've seen almost this exact commentary before.

It's ok to dislike or hate Bioshock Infinite, but the comments you make are mostly ill-informed.

Call or Duty shooting and "Generic" shooting are not the same thing. Bioshock Infinite follows an older "generic" FPS style that complete ignores cover based mechanics. It allows free movement around the existing arena/corridor. It would have been called a corridor FPS back in the day. Call of Duty is the exact opposite. It is a cover based rails shooter of a style that it and Medal of Honor have pushed since 1999. Bioshock Infinite may have generic shooting, but it is most certainly not "call of duty shooting."

"Copy pasted plasmids." Yes, it's part of the story. It is the same multiverse. It's like complaining that Bioshock 2, a far worse game, was worse because it specifically re-used the plasmids of Rapture while still in Rapture. Personally, I found the vigors/plasmids to be useful enough and this is still, I believe, a Bioshock game. Why would you expect there to be a different game play element?

Plot holes. The words that we often throw around just to throw them around. Specifically, those plot holes are... which, exactly? I'm not saying that the game doesn't have any, just that it was not "swiss cheese." In fact, most of its story lines were tied up and most of its mechanics at least attempted an explanation. Without pointing specifically to plot holes that were, in fact, plot holes and not just a lack of attention to the presented dialogue, then it's not a fair comment.

I agree on the E3 comment. The game from the E3 trailers was a much different game, in many respect. Are the changes and final product bad? Well, I'm not particularly unhappy that I didn't get to walk into a bar and shotgun someone in the face, fight with Saltonstall, or have Elizabeth be more of a sorceress (without explanation) than a child effected by her own physical existence simultaneously in two different realities. I think the final product worked fine. I failed to miss the E3 stuff.

The hyperbole in your post just makes your comments suspect. It sounds like regurgitation, sour grapes or some combination of both.

Johnny Novgorod:
I own BioShock Infinite and STILL haven't played it dammit. What's wrong with me? For once in my life I buy a game on the same year it's released and it turns out to be GOTY material and I haven't even played it yet.

It's not. Despite what everyone might scream at you it is far from a GOTY. Quite honestly I expected it on the number 5 of bottom 5. The amount of wasted potential in that game is amazing and the sheer drudgery that it's gameplay turns out to be is astounding for a series that had some of the most fun gameplay I have seen in a while.

Don't expect any Bioshock Infinite memes like the Bioshock Bee Hands and get ready to be disappointed when you finally do get around to playing it. I know I was disappointed but at least you don't have to face droves of people that want to convince you it's the most brilliant game ever made because like all popcorn action games everyone already forgot about it.

seditary:
Is there some kind of band that joined together to try and shout down everyone who likes and praises Bioshock Infinite? Literally everywhere I go there's some extremely overbearing people calling people stupid for liking it, linking videos to demonstrate how wrong people are for liking it and calling everything and everyone related to its creation bad in some way.

It's backlash for the "unanimous" praise it was getting from every publication and reviewer for a while after it's release. Basically not liking it in the few weeks after it was released was paramount to high treason and you being an idiot for not getting "the smartest game ever made!!!!"

Of course after the initial high of the game wore of people started looking back on it less favourably and the people that still think it's a masterpiece have moved on, now only people like me remain that view Bioshock Infinite along the same lines of X-com the Bureau. It's our turn to spam you with our "correct" opinions about the game.

I despised the game so much I gave away my copy. I never do that, of all the awful games I have played I never did that. I have my old age of empire I CD's. Heck I still have games on floppy disks. However Bioshock Infnite? Gone, that's what I have to say about that game.

Happy New Year folks!

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