The Big Picture: Junk Drawer 2014

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At least call it Junk Drawer 2014 part 1 otherwise you will have to make it till 2015 without a "bitty" but interesting episode.

Man of Steel and Man of Steel 2 still a better Dragonball Z movie(s) than that abomination that shall not be named.

The Shia "scandal" was too funny when i read about it.

Now i have an urge to want to see Kite (anime)

MovieBob:
Junk Drawer 2014

MovieBob takes on Shia LaBeouf, Family Guy and Man of Steel 2.

Watch Video

What? No no no no. The Rock isn't going to be Lex Luthor:

Fappy:
Live-action Kite. Why?

WHY!?

I'm sorry, but the rape scene in both versions of Girl with a Dragon Tattoo was enough for me. I'd prefer not to see where a Kite adaptation takes that >.>

Yeah, and it would be hard enough to adapt a 45 minute OVA (60 if you count the hentai scenes) that fetures exploding bullets, corrupt cops, rape, and the main concept of child assassins. Seriously, I get that Samuel L. Jackson is in it and he probably actually watched Kite or at least knows about anime so he can help make the movie an american cultural adaptation of what is probably a concept with a lot of Japanese foreign concepts but unless they aim for an extreme violence and grit audience, it will just seem like a pale shadow of the original (seriously, the hand has a hole the size of the palm and the blood is minimal, I doubt they will do the rape of Sawa or any of the other infamous scenes). Seriously, the only way to have a worse project would be to do a trilogy of Kill La Kill movies (despite the pandering, there is a bit of brain and cultural symbolism behind each character and I bet that the glove will cause cry of rage since it's can be loosely related to suicide which does not has much of a stigma in Japan).

themilo504:
Um could somebody please tell me what kite is?

Kite is a movie involving a girl who has her parents murdered and then is sexually abused by two corrupt cops and forced to become a child assassin who's signature is sub-dermal exploding bullets

America doesn't have a good track record of adapting Japanese horror to the American market so how are they going to do anything with a concept and OVA which is full of Japanese cultural quirks.

Christ, why does Hollywood want to try to adapt Japanese media when I have a feeling most directors don't have enough of experience with anime or Japanese culture to do it justice.

Izanagi009:

Fappy:
Live-action Kite. Why?

WHY!?

I'm sorry, but the rape scene in both versions of Girl with a Dragon Tattoo was enough for me. I'd prefer not to see where a Kite adaptation takes that >.>

Yeah, and it would be hard enough to adapt a 45 minute OVA (60 if you count the hentai scenes) that fetures exploding bullets, corrupt cops, rape, and the main concept of child assassins. Seriously, I get that Samuel L. Jackson is in it and he probably actually watched Kite or at least knows about anime so he can help make the movie an american cultural adaptation of what is probably a concept with a lot of Japanese foreign concepts but unless they aim for an extreme violence and grit audience, it will just seem like a pale shadow of the original (seriously, the hand has a hole the size of the palm and the blood is minimal, I doubt they will do the rape of Sawa or any of the other infamous scenes). Seriously, the only way to have a worse project would be to do a trilogy of Kill La Kill movies (despite the pandering, there is a bit of brain and cultural symbolism behind each character and I bet that the glove will cause cry of rage since it's can be loosely related to suicide which does not has much of a stigma in Japan).

I agree, Kill la Kill is far to steeped in cultural nuances to ever be adapted by another country, imo. It would lose everything that makes the show interesting (aside the art style/action sequences) if they were to overlook all of its counter-culture aspects. I mean, I don't consider myself an expert on Japan's cultural climate, but I know enough to understand the point(s) the show is trying to make.

Then again, if they were to take those themes and simply broaden them I could see it working. I think everyone in the world can relate to the concept of society vs. the individual.

If DC is talking to the Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson about filling a comic character role, safe money is on a very small handful of potential characters.

Safest bet = Lobo, yeah as soon as you see it in your mind you cannot unsee it. Someone at WB would easily see this as a great idea. Which in some ways it might be. The Lobo character basically operates on about the same level, mentality and target audience as professional wrestling as it is.

Less safe but interesting bets. If they are planning on using him in the Batman Superman movie, ie Justice League lead in?

- As a hero?
Hawkman. He has the perfect build and demeanor for Katar Hol. Scorpion King with wings. Anger management issues. Looks good holding assorted medieval melee weapons. Not a bad option.

- As a villain?
I'd go with Metallo or Parasite. I really don't think he can credibly pull off the "genius" portion of Lex Luthor as an evil genius. He probably is a smart man. But he doesn't cary it across as part of his character persona. Plus I don't think he is well used as a Megalomaniac type. So no Luthor or Braniac. However he would be dead on perfect for a Kryptonite powered Terminator.

Fappy:

Izanagi009:

Fappy:
Live-action Kite. Why?

WHY!?

I'm sorry, but the rape scene in both versions of Girl with a Dragon Tattoo was enough for me. I'd prefer not to see where a Kite adaptation takes that >.>

Yeah, and it would be hard enough to adapt a 45 minute OVA (60 if you count the hentai scenes) that fetures exploding bullets, corrupt cops, rape, and the main concept of child assassins. Seriously, I get that Samuel L. Jackson is in it and he probably actually watched Kite or at least knows about anime so he can help make the movie an american cultural adaptation of what is probably a concept with a lot of Japanese foreign concepts but unless they aim for an extreme violence and grit audience, it will just seem like a pale shadow of the original (seriously, the hand has a hole the size of the palm and the blood is minimal, I doubt they will do the rape of Sawa or any of the other infamous scenes). Seriously, the only way to have a worse project would be to do a trilogy of Kill La Kill movies (despite the pandering, there is a bit of brain and cultural symbolism behind each character and I bet that the glove will cause cry of rage since it's can be loosely related to suicide which does not has much of a stigma in Japan).

I agree, Kill la Kill is far to steeped in cultural nuances to ever be adapted by another country, imo. It would lose everything that makes the show interesting (aside the art style/action sequences) if they were to overlook all of its counter-culture aspects. I mean, I don't consider myself an expert on Japan's cultural climate, but I know enough to understand the point(s) the show is trying to make.

Then again, if they were to take those themes and simply broaden them I could see it working. I think everyone in the world can relate to the concept of society vs. the individual.

Minus the blood-drinking snarky sailor fuku, word puns, hammy acting (seriously, i'm not sure how they could do Gamagori), or the soundtrack. Also, I think the whole thing with Revocs would be lost in America which has a different view on business interactions then Japan (which I argue is more aggressive and interconnected)

And given the general fanservice content in it, if they go the route of having scenes with Senketsu or Junketsu, we will have a massive outrage from the right and an equally violent defense from the left (the oddity of the U.S., we love sex and sexuality but we really do hold back compared to other countries, (one time in Rome, there was an advertisement for a BDSM shop in the middle of a busy pedestrian street, not tucked away or anything. I laughed thinking about how we are so loud with our magazines and the like with sex but with no fury or backing behind it))

Did not hear about Denzel Washington being in talks with DC, but I will say this:

Get him as Lex Luthor and my ass will be in that theater seat.

Get him as John Stewart and my ass will be in that theater seat OPENING NIGHT.

Bob, you didn't know? Dwayne Johnson has been in talks to play Black Adam in a live action version of Captain Marvel/Shazam!

And personally, I say "Hell the f*ck yeah!".

faefrost:
If DC is talking to the Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson about filling a comic character role, safe money is on a very small handful of potential characters.

Safest bet = Lobo, yeah as soon as you see it in your mind you cannot unsee it. Someone at WB would easily see this as a great idea. Which in some ways it might be. The Lobo character basically operates on about the same level, mentality and target audience as professional wrestling as it is.

Less safe but interesting bets. If they are planning on using him in the Batman Superman movie, ie Justice League lead in?

- As a hero?
Hawkman. He has the perfect build and demeanor for Katar Hol. Scorpion King with wings. Anger management issues. Looks good holding assorted medieval melee weapons. Not a bad option.

- As a villain?
I'd go with Metallo or Parasite. I really don't think he can credibly pull off the "genius" portion of Lex Luthor as an evil genius. He probably is a smart man. But he doesn't cary it across as part of his character persona. Plus I don't think he is well used as a Megalomaniac type. So no Luthor or Braniac. However he would be dead on perfect for a Kryptonite powered Terminator.

He's in talks to be Black Adam from Captain Marvel/Shazam, last time I checked.

Fappy:
Live-action Kite. Why?

WHY!?

I'm sorry, but the rape scene in both versions of Girl with a Dragon Tattoo was enough for me. I'd prefer not to see where a Kite adaptation takes that >.>

I know right? They'll never get the correct sort of schlongs and what's with the wig? Saya didn't have red hair last time I checked. Geez, if ya gonna it, at least do it right. :P

At least the gun lunchbox case thing was cool. I want one.

More seriously though, why would people even agree to be part of Kite: The Live Adaptation?

Terratina.:

Fappy:
Live-action Kite. Why?

WHY!?

I'm sorry, but the rape scene in both versions of Girl with a Dragon Tattoo was enough for me. I'd prefer not to see where a Kite adaptation takes that >.>

I know right? They'll never get the correct sort of schlongs and what's with the wig? Saya didn't have red hair last time I checked. Geez, if ya gonna it, at least do it right. :P

At least the gun lunchbox case thing was cool. I want one.

More seriously though, why would people even agree to be part of Kite: The Live Adaptation?

Speak for yourself, Terra! I personally wouldn't mind having a creepy, wall-mounted statue of GOOFY staring at me while... okay, I can't finish that train of thought.

The scars Kite has left on my psyche are indescribable XD

Fappy:

The scars Kite has left on my psyche are indescribable XD

No, there's no need for flashbacks, no don't. No... That face... it haunts me... T^T

Yeah, same here. At least we can cry together. *sniff*

Terratina.:

Fappy:

The scars Kite has left on my psyche are indescribable XD

No, there's no need for flashbacks, no don't. No... That face... it haunts me...

Yeah, same here. At least we can cry together. *sniff*

I'm sorry I subjected you to such brain torture. I couldn't watch it alone, after all >.<

Fappy:

I'm sorry I subjected you to such brain torture. I couldn't watch it alone, after all >.<

FAPPEH!

They don't need to know that. Go away internet people! Nothing to see here. >.>

I love these Junk drawer episodes; so full of bite-size facts and trivia. I knew about Chip & Dale's fashion inspiration, but not about Tom Sellick being the first choice over Harrison Ford. Kind of like how Kurt Russel was originally going to be Han Solo!

As for Brian dying, Family Guy did the impossible to make me care about Brian, well after he turned into the uber-liberal Soapbox Sadie (OMG! TVTrope!) played too straight to be satirical. Basically, their show's Lisa Simpson. Still looking forward to their crossover episode. Speaking of Simpsons...

Last Sunday's episode proved Marge is an even bigger dork than Ned Flanders, so Bob, you may have to replace your image of "easily morally outraged dork" in future videos.

That reaction to Mr. Unrelateable Transformers Character's Actor. Brian Griffin's death was, as you said, never going to be permanent. It was too obvious.

Oh man. Now don't get me wrong: I love Harrison Ford. Or, loved, I guess. He doesn't seem to do all that much of note these days. But if we ever get to do some alternate-reality media swapping I HAVE to see Tom Selleck as Indiana Jones in said Indiana Jones movies and Wesley Snipes as Geordi in Star Trek TNG. We may give heterosexual masculinity some shit these days, but those dudes made manliness look good.

2 Broke Girls has the distinction of being the only thing dull enough to make staring at Kat Dennings not worth my time. If that letter writing campaign means that the writers can no longer pretend that clumsily set up references to sex constitute jokes, I say more power to 'em.

I don't buy any superhero, male or female, who weighs less than 130 pounds. No elves, no tiny Wonder Woman, no Black Widow, and no goddamn Hit Girl.

God I hope they pull of wonder woman....I actually hope that more than that Man of Steel will finally be something I want to see more of. A real female super hero would be awesome. Black widow is great and everything but she's not super.

Soviet Heavy:

themilo504:
Um could somebody please tell me what kite is?

Kite was an OVA from the 90s that sort of acted like a prototype for the later OVA and anime series Mezzo Forte. Not the same franchise, but the same creators. Here's an internet critic giving a more in depth analysis/play it up for yuks.
http://blip.tv/sagereviews/anime-abandon-kite-5956115

That critic made me want to shiv my ear drums. He's not Movie-Bob complaining about salient details in an amusing and succinct manner. He's the nerd bitching a lot without saying anything meaningful while annoying the fuck out of whoever's unfortunate enough to listen.

Fappy:

Fappy:

The scars Kite has left on my psyche are indescribable XD

I'm sorry I subjected you to such brain torture. I couldn't watch it alone, after all >.<

Terratina.:

FAPPEH!

They don't need to know that. Go away internet people! Nothing to see here. >.>

Just to let you know, in about 8 years I'll have completed my training as a psychiatrist, and will be able to help you......

But, until then, I can try to distract you two with conversation.
Bob is right with the whole physical and mental complex of Lex. The Rock would be a good pick.

Bruce Kilkowski:
I'm sold on the idea of Dwayne Johnson as Lex, especially the way Bob described it. But then again Bob did go on to say that Silver Age Lex was somehow better than the modern version... yeah, I think Bob needs to turn in his geek card for that one.

Hey now. He didn't say "better", he said "more interesting".

I kind of see what he's saying with that.
With the modern Lex, we kind of know what to expect. Where he gets the funding, what he's going to try and do.

It would be interesting to see how people would try and explain how the evil scientist super-villain version does what he does. Or how he would act.

That said, he probably wouldn't be more, "efficient" than the evil businessman version.

I'd like to see Idris Elba as Lex Luthor. Seeing as Marvel continues to absolutely nothing interesting with him as Heimdahl, I say let DC have a crack at him. He's a great mix of class, smarts and badass.

The Rock would be great, too. Everything is better with The Rock.

tzimize:
God I hope they pull of wonder woman....I actually hope that more than that Man of Steel will finally be something I want to see more of. A real female super hero would be awesome. Black widow is great and everything but she's not super.

Black Widow is not great. She is poorly served in all the movies they have her in. She's never in any danger (thus boring) and her character has no arc. She's window dressing. She gets to pose and do sexy kung fu to show off her figure.

I agree that Wonder Woman is a chance to do a female character as a real character. With depth, an arc, at risk, etc.

Izanagi009:

themilo504:
Um could somebody please tell me what kite is?

Kite is a movie involving a girl who has her parents murdered and then is sexually abused by two corrupt cops and forced to become a child assassin who's signature is sub-dermal exploding bullets

America doesn't have a good track record of adapting Japanese horror to the American market so how are they going to do anything with a concept and OVA which is full of Japanese cultural quirks.

Christ, why does Hollywood want to try to adapt Japanese media when I have a feeling most directors don't have enough of experience with anime or Japanese culture to do it justice.

now that I know what kite is I have to ask why the hell people try to make a movie based on it.

Lucane:

themilo504:
Wait how the hell do you plagiarize a apology?
also what's kite?

He worte part of a script for something and was caught plagiarizing from Ghost World's Cartoonist Daniel Clowes and then plagiarized part of the apology, and was caught again.

http://gawker.com/shia-labeouf-fucks-up-gets-caught-plagiarizing-again-1484814448

Wow that's taking failure to a new level, all we need now to complete this story is for him to plagiarize his apology for his plagiarized apology

HBaskerville:

tzimize:
God I hope they pull of wonder woman....I actually hope that more than that Man of Steel will finally be something I want to see more of. A real female super hero would be awesome. Black widow is great and everything but she's not super.

Black Widow is not great. She is poorly served in all the movies they have her in. She's never in any danger (thus boring) and her character has no arc. She's window dressing. She gets to pose and do sexy kung fu to show off her figure.

I agree that Wonder Woman is a chance to do a female character as a real character. With depth, an arc, at risk, etc.

While I can agree that she is not a fantastic character I absolutely do not want to agree she is a poor one. Window dressing? Sure, but you cant look like ms. Johansson and not be that by default. However she is also a strong woman, that doesnt end up as a damsel in distress in any sort of way. She is pivotal in the closing of the gate in the avengers and she has constantly important places to be and stuff to do in the movies she is in.

The thing is, she is the polar opposite of Tony Stark, he is ALL about the flash and bang, Black Widow is a player behind the scenes, and she has some decent scenes with Hawkeye in Avengers as well. Also, she is probably the one that is most in danger. She was very nearly smashed by the hulk and her portrayal of fear both the first time she meets him and when they fall is a couple of my favorite moments in a movie PACKED with awesome moments. Also, she totally played Loki, which was brilliant.

Poorly served? I think she's just yummy :3

themilo504:
Um could somebody please tell me what kite is?

How the hell do you even plagiarize a apology.

From what I've picked up its about a corrupt cop who uses a brainwashed teenage girl as an assassin, and uses her as a sex slave too. Its picked up a pretty heavy reputation among anime fans. Not quite Urotsukidoji, but still pretty nasty. (not seen it (or Urotsukidoji) myself, all I can tell you is pretty much secondhand through articles, reviews and sage's anime abandon on it).

I STILL can't download this episode on my phone. I can download every other episode fine, but this one keeps reloading the page. Can someone at the Escapist PLEASE see what is going on with this video? This is the second time I've brought this up, and I don't like paying 20 bucks to be able to download videos and then have them not download.

If they make Denzel Washington John Stewart... I predict a huge upswing in John's Popularity (and he's already pretty darn popular for those who read green lantern comics)

That being said, I've always been more of a Guy Gardner fan myself.

Bob, Happy New Year! Hope you feel better soon!

I love these little junk drawer episodes. I always think most of them can get to a full episode with some background on the subject as filler (but I understand that might take away from the overall quality / punch of any given piece.) I'm always fascinated to learn the backstories or even the historical minutiae that you know or can find out.

themilo504:

Izanagi009:

themilo504:
Um could somebody please tell me what kite is?

Kite is a movie involving a girl who has her parents murdered and then is sexually abused by two corrupt cops and forced to become a child assassin who's signature is sub-dermal exploding bullets

America doesn't have a good track record of adapting Japanese horror to the American market so how are they going to do anything with a concept and OVA which is full of Japanese cultural quirks.

Christ, why does Hollywood want to try to adapt Japanese media when I have a feeling most directors don't have enough of experience with anime or Japanese culture to do it justice.

now that I know what kite is I have to ask why the hell people try to make a movie based on it.

To which I refer to my last sentence, Hollywood does not know crap about Japanese media culture and I don't think even Guillermo del Toro, a big anime and mecha fan, could actually get the culture behind it because it's more societal and traditional culture rather than political and media culture (you want an example: Yamato Nadeshko is a trope less known to people as it's an ideal seated in old Japanese tradition while Tsundere is much more public to overseas people and is actually more popular overseas)

As for why, simple: blood, sex, violence, and a "hit-girl" character combined in a story with an "exotic" quality combined with catharsis as wicked people get their dues and some. Think a more bloody and vindictive version of Kick-Ass with much more mental damage.

Bob, you make a compelling argument for casting the Rock as Lex Luther. I kinda like the idea.

Regarding the Rock as Lex. NO. Not because I don't find your idea intriguing, but because, business man or scientist, Lex is largely defined by his intelligence.

Intelligence, to me, is sort of the holy grail of acting. More so than crying or laughing on cue, very very few actors can pull off appearing highly intelligent or educated when they themselves aren't. That isn't to say the Rock is dumb, he is actually a smart guy from everything I have seen. I just don't think he has the chops to pull off super intelligent.

If I had to guess about the hubbub over Wolf of Wall Street, it's probably that folks feel that the film didn't go far enough in pounding the message that this is a cautionary tale.

I can only surmise this because, apparently, the people most in need of heeding this wisdom did not catch the point at all.

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