LoadingReadyRun: The Bitcoin Conspiracy

The Bitcoin Conspiracy

He's back, he's mobile, and you need to hear what he has to say.

Watch Video

Stinger was brilliant.

Also, I have a feeling, if LRR is ever going to make another rapidfire before closing their weekly sketches, Conspiracy Guys will be staring in at least one episode.

Yossarian1507:
Stinger was brilliant.

Also, I have a feeling, if LRR is ever going to make another rapidfire before closing their weekly sketches, Conspiracy Guys will be staring in at least one episode.

I miss them, and the foreign mercenaries.

OT: Look out, that Street Shark's bugged! It was bought using Bitcoins!

Captcha: Shilly-Shally. Apparently it was written by Sean Connery.

Another jawsome video

Silly conspiracy theorists, why would we British hide our Bitcoins in space where anyone can get ahold of them?

They're hidden behind Big Ben, where Sherlock Holmes occasionally looks after them.

Errm.... I think that was some kind of youtube trailer for the website, but it sounds like you guys got the right video.

It all makes perfect sense now.... I just weed myself.

So, when he started the sign-off with "until next time...." did anyone else expect to follow up to be "...there may be better sources for news but they don't have this hat"?

That's not how it works guys... See, you can't actually "put bitcoins on a harddrive". When you buy bitcoins, all you do is make someone else sign something that says you get more bitcoins, and you notify the bitcoin network of this. It's a bit more complex, but http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lx9zgZCMqXE is a good explanation.

Avaholic03:
So, when he started the sign-off with "until next time...." did anyone else expect to follow up to be "...there may be better sources for news but they don't have this hat"?

It would have been pretty bad, but almost.

Brilliant, as always.
Also, I know the stuff about our gold[1] is right[2], so logically speaking, the rest must be true too...

[1] I'm Norwegian
[2] Fairly certain they gave it all back, though

Oh Graham, perhaps a few complimentary Bitcoins will cause you to give up this foolish crusade hmm?

008Zulu:
Oh Graham, perhaps a few complimentary Bitcoins will cause you to give up this foolish crusade hmm?

A few Bitcoins could buy him a new van. The value right now is $850 per coin.

I hope conspiracy theories about Nakamoto are true (not this one per se, I just think it'd be pretty entertaining).

That's better than my plan to buy teen idol memorabilia in hopes that they'll die early.

Avaholic03:
So, when he started the sign-off with "until next time...." did anyone else expect to follow up to be "...there may be better sources for news but they don't have this hat"?

"There may be better sources for hacks, but they don't have this shark."

TheEvilCheese:

008Zulu:
Oh Graham, perhaps a few complimentary Bitcoins will cause you to give up this foolish crusade hmm?

A few Bitcoins could buy him a new van. The value right now is $850 per coin.

I hope conspiracy theories about Nakamoto are true (not this one per se, I just think it'd be pretty entertaining).

(Shrugs) The problem here is there isn't a lot of room for conspiracy theories, since Bitcoins are pretty straightforward when you get down to it. The basic idea is backing a currency with donated computer power (a service) as opposed to something physical like gold. As a basic idea it's easy to see how it got started. That said the specialized rigs needed to put out Bitcoins and the ongoing race with them means that this is unlikely to be anything that will last for the long term. It's more of a business scam that is going to favor those involved from the beginning, the bubble will inevitably burst, and a few people are going to make a bundle off of it, while a lot of people are left with a bunch of highly specialized computers which will be totally worthless especially once the consortium that is leasing out the shared computing power is no longer trading.

Really, who Nakamoto is, if he exists or is a mask for someone else, and related questions are all more or less irrelevant. I pretty much figure when the Winklevoss twins (the guys who fought Zuckerberg over Facebook) get involved and say something is a good idea, you need to be wary, in general a "good idea" is usually something that tends to only wind up benefitting them and a few of their closest associates.

If I had to guess, the closest thing to a conspiracy theory I'd promote here is that Nakamoto is a construct of the consortium pulling the strings and creating/verifying the currency. That was when there are problems down the road they can point fingers at a non-existent figurehead while the guys at the top continue to float down safely on their golden parachutes. With high end schemes and scams getting more attention there is an increased demand for the authorities to bring someone to justice to show that something was done. In this case they might have created a "phantom scapegoat" which everyone can point to, and amazingly claim "hey we were all scammed too, I have no idea who that was...". Basically the corporate equivalent of the "average six foot black man" (ie if your going to lie about a crime being committed you claim a black guy with dark hair and eyes and of average height and build did it... nothing racial intended, it's just a suspect that is impossible to find based off of that description and nothing else, yet described and reported as accurately as most average people would... it increases the chance of the crime not being "solved" (because it never happened) without anyone realizing you lied... which is what you want in such a case).

Since Great Britain, Gold and money were involved. Why weren't the Rothchilds thrown in?

I was under the impression that Great Britain shipped all her Gold to the US.

That's right Americans and Canadians, we're coming for your cold hard cash! We'll also take your Street Sharks too. Into space.

Proverbial Jon:
That's right Americans and Canadians, we're coming for your cold hard cash! We'll also take your Street Sharks too. Into space.

You... You still love us Norwegians, right? I mean, we DID give you all that gold... And uh, the christmastree for your capitol every year? I think we deserve to go to space too, and be rich and watch Street Sharks.

Definitely another Jawsome episode right there.

This vid has a good point. I need get some actual gold :D

Space is probably the least secure place to put a hard drive. The random cosmic rays would be occasionally hitting and corrupting the data.

medv4380:
Space is probably the least secure place to put a hard drive. The random cosmic rays would be occasionally hitting and corrupting the data.

Don't worry, they have a lot of shielding on it. Not to mention the redundancy, you think it is just one storage device they are sending to space? You need to open your eyes!

Amir Kondori:

medv4380:
Space is probably the least secure place to put a hard drive. The random cosmic rays would be occasionally hitting and corrupting the data.

Don't worry, they have a lot of shielding on it. Not to mention the redundancy, you think it is just one storage device they are sending to space? You need to open your eyes!

I'm pretty sure the first Gamma Ray Burst, or ill timed solar storm will wipe all space based copies clean. Only a Terrestrial backup would have a chance of survival. That being said, convincing all the bitcoiners that their coins are in space, and not berried in an IT Landfill would make a good double conspiracy.

What did I just see/hear? xD

IF a conspiracy theorist wants to be heard, he shouldn't address his audience as "sheep". Otherwise, excellent work. All in one take!

medv4380:

Amir Kondori:

medv4380:
Space is probably the least secure place to put a hard drive. The random cosmic rays would be occasionally hitting and corrupting the data.

Don't worry, they have a lot of shielding on it. Not to mention the redundancy, you think it is just one storage device they are sending to space? You need to open your eyes!

I'm pretty sure the first Gamma Ray Burst, or ill timed solar storm will wipe all space based copies clean. Only a Terrestrial backup would have a chance of survival. That being said, convincing all the bitcoiners that their coins are in space, and not berried in an IT Landfill would make a good double conspiracy.

Bro, I can tell they have got to you already. Or are you one of them? You probably don't know but Marduck, the ruler of Africa who is trying to populate the earth with human-alien hybrids, is granting his protection to the UK bitcoin operation. It will keep it perfectly protected while the UK puts its plans in motion. Of course Marduck is going to stab the UK in the back and take the bitcoins to fund his human depopulation plans.

kailus13:
Silly conspiracy theorists, why would we British hide our Bitcoins in space where anyone can get ahold of them?

They're hidden behind Big Ben, where Sherlock Holmes occasionally looks after them.

But you British are already in an alliance with a lonely alien who could easily stash away the goods on some far off interstellar rock! The norwegians are onto your plan and will make sure every blue police box is under constant surveilance!

Wait a minute
Does James covered camera of his laptop with sticky note?
Also I like how he occasionally glances back at Graham with that "the fuck?" look.

"My Mom just bought me this Laptop! D:"

AHAHAHA

Nice.

This was a great. I hope we hear more from him.

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here