Dungeon Keeper Mobile Review - Wallet Reaper

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I hate bullshit like this. Even The Simpsons: Tapped Out pissed me off, because the interface seemed designed to get you to accidentally spend the premium currency (also it straight up lost my city, so fuck that game). If there was an option to pay $4-5 and have a way to slowly earn the premium currency I might be down. But stuff like this is way to cynical and obvious in its bullshit.

Keep telling the Truth, Jimothy Truthington Sterlingshrop, which I assume is your full, British name.

so in the time it takes to dig out a room you could of not only played the original but also probably completed it and had a ball doing it.

someone needs to be kicked in the shins and slaped around the back of the head for this

And this is why I am a one legged bandit.....

How fucking dare you do this to such a respected I.P, EA. Go fuck yourselves and rest in peace Bullfrog.

GoddyofAus:
How fucking dare you do this to such a respected I.P, EA. Go fuck yourselves and rest in peace Bullfrog.

When did you see EA last time respecting their IP portfolio?

Also do what everyone and I have done. Go to GOG and buy the Dungeon Keeper: gold and 2. And then silently plan the way you will crash a 747 up the ass of the person who thought this was a good idea.

But yeah... This is moving to new grounds of disrespecting IP and players.

Ah, the dreaded half-star rating.

This pleases me.

Oh Mythic how you have fallen.

I still enjoy Dark Age of Camelot from them and the MOBA they were making was fantastic, sadly that ended before the beta finished (although I have a feeling that was more Games Workshop's fault than EAs)

Ultima Forever: Quest for the Avatar isn't that bad either.

But this, ugh. I was in the beta on Android for this and I get the impression Mythic wants to make a great game, but they're just forced by EA to do this kinda thing.
Cuz this kinda thing sadly makes more money it seems than something with effort in it (just look at Candy Crush Saga).

PS. They haven't been known as 'EA Mythic' for a while now.

Can we take a franchise away from a company if they abuse it like this?

Something like a safehouse for great franchises being prostituted out by uncaring corporate idiots?

We used to gather around the campfire and tell stories; speak in hushed, near-whispers of the utter horror that existed beyond the veil. We'd laugh, of course, but the apprehension was palpable. We always worried that speaking its name aloud would draw it to us, summon it, somehow.

That was when I was younger, of course. Young and foolish. For years I've told myself that otherworldly horrors don't exist, that the thought of such things should be solely the domain of the idle fantasies of the young. I never imagined how completely, utterly wrong I was. Certainly I never expected to see one for myself. But for all the pomp and bluster the adult mind creates, it cannot eliminate the reality of this terror.

A half-star? Out in the open? Say it ain't so.

OT: I knew this game was disgusting from the outset. Usually, I give games - even The Simpsons: Tapped Out a couple of days and a few plays to grow on me. Some of the weirdest mobile games (like freakin' Flappy Bird) turn out to have an appeal that is completely inexplicable. That was never the case with Dungeon Keeper, though. I didn't even get through the tutorial and it was already gone from my phone. What it is is just disgusting, and anyone who had anything to do with this "game" should be disgusted. Ideally, they shouldn't be allowed to touch another game - especially an old, beloved property - without first proving that they aren't all greedy, heartless bastards.

That's too bad. Hate to see a good franchise whored out like this. Just hope War for the Overworld is the masterpiece we deserve.

EA already hard at work trying to win that Golden Poo for the third year running, I see?

At least you've already got a contender for shittiest game of 2014 -_-

If this review isn't enough, check out this youtube video by Dan Hardcastle (Nerd3) on this insult that calls itself Dungeon Keeper:

He focuses more on the IAP pricing. In fact I did a little math on the "value" of the difference between prices and gems using the pound sterling prices, and the value difference between the cheapest option and the most expensive option is, I kid you not, a thousandth of a pound, or a tenth of a pence per gem. What kind of "value saving" is that?!? Warehouses give you a better value than that when you buy in larger numbers! sheesh...

Vie:
Can we take a franchise away from a company if they abuse it like this?

Something like a safehouse for great franchises being prostituted out by uncaring corporate idiots?

Yeah... EA have already been going around the graveyard with shovels for a while now.
So, we have had Syndicate, Dungeon Keeper, we could also include SimCity since the previous one was also quite old, any others?

And I'm pretty sure they will dredge other old games up and rework them into awful, awful shells of themselves.

Dayum, your keyboard was dipped in more vitriol than I expected.

Good job!

That's fucking awful.
I sentence the 'developers' to an eternity under the tits of a bile demon.

image

What's that? Buy Dungeon Keeper? The REAL one? You got it Jim. GOG.com HO!

I kina like The Simpsons: Tapped Out and this is the same. Then again I am a veeeeery patient person. Also I never use micro transactions. And yes DK on gog is a gem. Nothing like this.

Your gamers are angry because they have no quality.

One good thing about this is that it introduced me to the original Dungeon Keeper via an article on why shit like this will kill gaming and Nerd3.

So. Much. Fun.

Leave it to EA to piss all over the carcass of a once beloved game

This is another of these times when I wonder if EA does this intentionally - like they've got a machine somewhere that turns hate into money and they need to keep it powered. Dodgy 'micro' transactions are nothing new, but to take it to such extremes on a game that carries the name of a much loved series is just trolling for gamer vitriol.

*goes off to Steam to buy War for the Overworld*

A thorough smackdown. It deserves nothing less. It's almost hard to believe we've gotten to the point where timers and microtransactions are the whole game.

While the game is most certainly garbage, if you're very first 4x4 room is taking you 2 days to dig out, you're doing it wrong. If your very first block is taking hours, maybe you shouldn't be starting off trying to dig out fortified rock from the get go.

Now don't get me wrong, it's still a money grubbing scam of a game that I stopped played long ago, but the scam doesn't really kick in until day two or so, for the first little bit you're presented with plenty of soft dirt and quick build stuff that tried to get you thinking you might be able to have fun with it before these problems shouldn't present themselves later.

So I assume you didn't like it?

Having to pay 5 bucks to break open a few walls or wait days to do anything is probably the worst micro-transactions I've yet seen. Even Nexon MMO's aren't thaaaat bad or greedy.

Meanwhile on my shelf i still have an original copy of Dungeon Keeper Gold, complete with hilariously over-sized 90s era box. What was it with 1990s PC games and not wanting to come in a DVD/Jewl case? I guess it was to make you feel like you were getting more product (and look a bit more like boxed table top RPG expansions used to) but surely this must have put up shipping costs and driven down available shelf space?

You could buy 5 copies of War for the Overworld on early access for the same price as the most expensive package of gems and I can guarantee you will have more fun, even if the game never gets another update again.

Man...I got a game like this for my Smartphone, one of the built in apps called "Little Big City".
While they have an energy bar like here, there was at least another way to re-fill it without having to fork over money.
Still, I really wish that IPs like this could actually be bought by other people rather then let EA nab them up then do nothing for a decade then...
...
*Sudders*

I never thought I'd say this but I miss the EA that would just kill game series and leave what's left to rot in a ditch somewhere. This new reanimate the corpse with an atm slot where it's heart used to be is far more saddening.

DAMN!!!!

1/10 again!

Great way to finish the first month of 2014, gaming industry.

Edit: On the plus side, this introduced me to the original Dungeon Keeper and the Nerd3 guy's channel.

Let's see what we have here.

Wow, I think this might be the angriest I've ever seen Mr Sterling, and holy shit is that saying something...

Well thanks for the recommendation for WAr i will check it out when it exits alpha/beta. It's sad though that they pulled mythic out of making mmos to make ios shovelware.

Hey good work on actually doing a review of this. Usually games like this sneak past metacritic because the bigger sites don't cover them.

I really don't get why ea called this game dungeon keeper, as much as it sickens me freemium games do sell so I guess I can understand why this game exists, but calling it dungeon keeper is just going to make fans of the original game angry.

I don't understand how this is even legal.

Surely in any other industry this would be considered a breach of consumer rights?

We should be preparing a lawsuit, not moaning about this game,

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