Rambo: The Video Game Review - First Crud

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I'm quite sad this game is crap.

Rambo could have been like Far Cry 3 in the hands of a competent developer, but alas, it was clearly too much to hope for. And I held on to any scrap of hope that this game could have been awesome. Even with the trailers that showed the engine was made of styrofoam and bits of twig, I still held hope that we would have a great Rambo game (Gameplay trumps less than stellar graphics IMO). I need a stiff drink.

Also, Hot Shots Part Deux is awesome, and I thank god that Jim referenced it.

So don't buy it then? jk
Yeah fortunately for all of us the Escapist has kept us pretty up to date on the development of this stinkpile, if for no other reason than to show how not to make a game. Lets put this in the "should be buried next to E.T." pile.

you knew it was going to be bad when the developer (i hate using that word to describe these people) proudly proclaims quick time events on its website as an advertised feature. but this bad? thats something else entirely

as someone else mentioned you could do far cry 3 style, but with comedy. load up so mny weapns that when you start a level you fall over for instance or have npcs pat you on the head because you have a speech impediment.

*edit* i just had a random thought.. the commando arcade game from 1985 is a better rambo sim than this

This game looked awful. The review was great, however.

I can't believe that teams of people actually waste effort creating games like this any more.

Hilarious review. I tried to send a quote from the review to my buddy and every time I copy and paste it a link is attached to it. That's pretty lame Escapist.

image

it could have been funny.
it could have been like far cry 3.
but they had to turn it into a rail shooter since they probably spend their time jerking each other off instead of focusing on the game.(started developement in 2011)

a on rail game is only acceptable if its on mobile devices or its meant to be played in an arcade with a gigantic plastic machine gun.

and the sad part or good part, depends on how you see it, they wanted to use this game as a launching pad for the company:

"Craig Lewis, commercial director at Reef added: "We have big ambitions for Reef and the Rambo IP is the first step in establishing us as a worldwide player."
http://www.mcvuk.com/news/read/reef-reloads-rambo/082604

better luck next time, Reef Entertainment.

I wonder if the developer is going to be so desperate to put some positive reviews on their released trailer (if they have the budget for it, which I think has all been used up on crack and hookers) that they will start quote mining for even the slightest positive statement.

"Like this game..."

Jim Sterling, The Escapist

Neither The whole Rambo Series nor Sly Stallone did anything to derserve this game.

*sees the F-bomb*

Wait, what?

*scrolls up, sees Jim Sterling's name*

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Aww I was kind of hoping it would be a surprising quality game like the Chronicles of Riddick. I really want another Riddick game already.

Scorpid:
Aww I was kind of hoping it would be a surprising quality game like the Chronicles of Riddick. I really want another Riddick game already.

Remember, that game had give-a-damn on its side. I have yet to see a game adaptation not sucking without it.

Shooting John C. Reilly over and over actually sounds like some fun.

Guise of the Wolf & Rambo, and it's only February? 2014 is shaping up to be one of the best years in gaming history.

No surprises there. When I first saw the trailer for this game my first thoughts were how bad the in-game Rambo looks. The Rocky model in the 2002 Rocky game does a better job looking like Stallone. If, as a developer, you somehow do a worse job recreating the face of a highly recognizable actor than a game a dozen years older, then that doesn't bode well for the rest of your game.

Goliath100:

Scorpid:
Aww I was kind of hoping it would be a surprising quality game like the Chronicles of Riddick. I really want another Riddick game already.

Remember, that game had give-a-damn on its side. I have yet to see a game adaptation not sucking without it.

It's pretty well known that Vin Diesel was an avid gamer and D&D player since long before he became famous. So, I always like to think the give-a-damn came from Diesel threatening the devs with horrible violence involving shivs, unless the game about him was good.

Yostbeef:
Hilarious review. I tried to send a quote from the review to my buddy and every time I copy and paste it a link is attached to it. That's pretty lame Escapist.

That bugs me so much. Usually when friends and I share quotes like that, we pop up the link anyhow. But having the link come up every time we share a choice quote is bothersome.

Rednog:
Guise of the Wolf & Rambo, and it's only February? 2014 is shaping up to be one of the best years in gaming history.

It's like they are trying to compete for the Total Abhorrence Award.

Make a video of it Jim, should be interesting.

I have this strange thing where i feel an overwhelmingly sad sympathy for people that fail at doing something they try hard at or love.

It's a horrible feeling, and i kind of have it for these guys. The interviews with the developers and such sounded like thy really loved what they were doing, and honest to go thought it would be great.

I feel bad for them. By the time they got footage out there, and saw how much everyone hate it they were probably in the situation of "Well, if we stop now we can't try again with anything else because we'll be broke, so we may as well keep going and do our best!".

Not that any of that is an excuse, as a dev you need to be able to see the flaws in your product, but that sad sympathy remains in me.

WarpZone:
*sees the F-bomb*

Wait, what?

*scrolls up, sees Jim Sterling's name*

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

That is EXACTLY what I did too! "This guy cursed?He's gettin' fired.....oh okay".

So better game, Rambo or Ride to Hell: Retribution?

So did they award this game to the developer who promised to make it for the least amount of money possible?

"It turns the game into Beyond: Two Souls, albeit with a slightly better story."

I lol'ed. I also didn't look at who did the review until the f bomb. I really didn't even need to scroll up after that though.

I reckon a Rambo game could be great, a bit of survival, some stealth and close combat as well a shooting. How on Earth a game like this one even gets released though, I have no idea. At any point did the developers sit down and think "fuck yeah! We are making an awesome game, just look at how pretty it is!" and at what point did the publishers say "yep this game is ready for release, lets make some money!" I mean seriously, this game looks like I made it. There are hundreds of total conversion game mods better than this.

How can anyone think they had made a decent game? They are either the most self deluded people ever or they knew they where scamming and throwing out any old pile of shit to see if any sticks, I wouldn't be surprised if they started advertising DLC for it or even season passes.

Its a sad illustration of just how bad the gaming industry can be.

I like another reviewers suggestion that it's both cheaper and better time value if you just buy and watch all the movies.

Well now, I didn't think this game would be any good from the moment I saw the first god-awful trailer where a fucking helicopter clipped straight through a hill. On the official fucking trailer!!
If a company can't even be bothered not to feature bugs in their trailer, the game is definitely not going to work out. Unless of course the bugs are a feature...

I cannot wait to see what the people on youtube make out of this game.

It'll keep letsplayers and youtube poop makers happy for years!

"Furthermore, fuck this game."
HES STEALING MY STYLE!!

Anyway its sad that this game came to be, but MEH!, lets move along and wait until someone makes something decent about the Rambo movies.

And so nobody on this planet was surprised in the slightest

BloodRed Pixel:
Neither The whole Rambo Series nor Sly Stallone did anything to derserve this game.

I dunno... remember, Stallone did Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.

Not G. Ivingname:
I wonder if the developer is going to be so desperate to put some positive reviews on their released trailer (if they have the budget for it, which I think has all been used up on crack and hookers) that they will start quote mining for even the slightest positive statement.

"Like this game..."

Jim Sterling, The Escapist

"Shockingly... good...."

"Rambo The Video Game is... best...."

"...chock full of... gameplay you'll enjoy...."

- Jim Sterling, official Escapist review

FriedRicer:

WarpZone:
*sees the F-bomb*

Wait, what?

*scrolls up, sees Jim Sterling's name*

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

That is EXACTLY what I did too! "This guy cursed?He's gettin' fired.....oh okay".

Thirded. I was reading through, and upon seeing the f-bomb (now why does just typing that make me feel like some bible-belt soccer mom?) thought "was that really necessary?".

*scrolls up to see the review author*

Yes. Yes it was.

Funnily enough, I'm reading this after watching Totalbiscuit's "WTF is...." on the game. I don't think I've been that confused over the existence of something since the time I watched House (only 2 days ago admittedly), but at least that managed to be somewhat entertaining.

That review was masterful.

But yeah, when I saw the trailer for this...thing, my reaction was so:

I knew this was either going to be that rarest of things; The so bad it's good game, or the most common of things; The bad game.

It would appear to be the latter.

The Rogue Wolf:

BloodRed Pixel:
Neither The whole Rambo Series nor Sly Stallone did anything to derserve this game.

I dunno... remember, Stallone did Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.

HUSH! or they will make a game about this movie, too.
LOL, totally forgot about this one.

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