Thief: It's Always a Sex Thing

Thief: It's Always a Sex Thing

You could say... the art direction was gimped. HUEHUEHUE.

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Oh god my sides. I totally agree about the costume by the way. Doesn't really make much sense.

Yeah, seems like this reboot is getting the overall thumbs down from fans of the series.

OH god damnit!
I got snot all over my pizza from laughing so hard!

I'm still going to eat it...
Students can't be choosers.

Oh dear God Sisters of Mercy. The horror, the horror I used to wear a white suit and the mirror shades from the temple of love video. It was the 80s but still my EYES, MY EYES.

I still like Sisters of Mercy...

Mister Chippy:
Oh god my sides. I totally agree about the costume by the way. Doesn't really make much sense.

Eh... sorta? That *IS* what a Housebreaker's Harness looks like, mostly. Though i haven't played the game and it probably is just his costume as opposed to being an actual housebreakers harness.

The point of the harness is that it supports your body so you can anchor it to a rope or wall and have your hands free to pick a lock, cut out a pane of glass, etc; and it also holds all of the tools you'd need to do that in places you can reach them while you're anchored. There are some examples of them going back to the dark ages. But im not sure if the gameplay actually reflects that or not.

If the lption to hit the comments below the comic completely gone, or am I not seeing it?

Mister Chippy:
Oh god my sides. I totally agree about the costume by the way. Doesn't really make much sense.

Or it makes perfect sense, as the comic demonstrates. If he gets caught, it makes perfect sense that he's flailing on that bound and gagged guy!

erttheking:
Yeah, seems like this reboot is getting the overall thumbs down from fans of the series.

The real question is how it fares with the BDSM community!

Zachary Amaranth:

The real question is how it fares with the BDSM community!

It isn't safe sane or consensual, putting on the same level of fifty shades of gray in its understanding of how BDSM works

Yeah.
Not every game needs distinct look for protagonist.
Being as bland and unnoticeable is the point to thieves
You can't exactly blend with crowd when you look as if you just left wild BDSM orgy
Unless it is crowd that was present in said orgy
But what are chances of finding such crowd?

blackrave:

But what are chances of finding such crowd?

Ever read the book "Perfume" or have you watched the movie? If not, I'd really advise against it for the sake of your sanity. However, there's a scene where the costume would totally make sense.

Never thought I would think of referencing that on a gaming forum...

blackrave:

Unless it is crowd that was present in said orgy
But what are chances of finding such crowd?

Not good enough, I'll tell you that!

OT: Hilarious, funniest Critical Miss I've read in some time. While the social commentary stuff can be interesting or useful, they tend to lack the humor found in your video game related strips.

Well in my head this started playing

Leather is stealthy.
Eyeshadow makes you silent.

Also what's the "victim" saying? "It's not what it seems [NRPH]"? That's my best guess.

You know, this kind of reminded me of how a lot of female characters are dressed: Ridiculously, just for the look of the outfit and making no sense at all.

blackrave:
Yeah.
Not every game needs distinct look for protagonist.
Being as bland and unnoticeable is the point to thieves
You can't exactly blend with crowd when you look as if you just left wild BDSM orgy
Unless it is crowd that was present in said orgy
But what are chances of finding such crowd?

The third act of the game involves sneaking though a house of carnal pleasures. Crowd found!

Over dressed nonsensary works in a JRPG but not so well in a stealth game. I really do wonder if any thieves or spies
really do wear skin tight bodysuits when on the job.

Seems about right, man on the left needs to learn that a fuck harness is normally attached to the ceiling. 10/10 though except the whole non consenting part. Now we know why most of the guards always seem distracted..the things the must walk in and see. No wonder thy are quick to dismiss noises they hear.

-guard- WHAT WAS THAT!

-older guard- i did not hear anything and neither did you!

-but sir we should..

-DO YOU WANT TO WALK IN ON SOME MAN ON MAN KINKY THINGS?

-newbie proceeds to cry, older guard continues to drink the memories away.

Undomesticated Equine:
Well in my head this started playing

That made me laugh more than it should have.

Yeah, not a fan of the design. Looks like it would make too much noise but that's just my opinion.

This, comic..... LOL okay that was brilliantly clever.

I usually laugh or even have a good laugh- but this? Hahaha I nearly chocked on my breakfast after seeing the last panel.
Bravo for the comic... bravo indeed!

Well, I did not expect to see that. But yeah, the costume of the new Thief just looks god-awful. Also, the first song that came to mind looking at the 4th panel was "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.

Fifty-One:

blackrave:
Yeah.
Not every game needs distinct look for protagonist.
Being as bland and unnoticeable is the point to thieves
You can't exactly blend with crowd when you look as if you just left wild BDSM orgy
Unless it is crowd that was present in said orgy
But what are chances of finding such crowd?

The third act of the game involves sneaking though a house of carnal pleasures. Crowd found!

Oh, c'mon, that was dumb luck, you must admit it.
I'm pretty sure even Garret was surprised

Urgh ... if only it was just the costume. But seriously THAT is the least of the problems this game has. I would start with the absence of characters or personality (two big ingredients to the immersion in the original games) would continue with level design (but honestly nothing will top what the original games did) and end with a totaly insipid and uninteresting story. So basicaly everything the original game got right, the remakes brutalizases BDSM style ... huh ... actualy in that context the costume makes sense. Carry on retarded remake.

XDSkyFreak:
Urgh ... if only it was just the costume. But seriously THAT is the least of the problems this game has. I would start with the absence of characters or personality (two big ingredients to the immersion in the original games) would continue with level design (but honestly nothing will top what the original games did) and end with a totaly insipid and uninteresting story. So basicaly everything the original game got right, the remakes brutalizases BDSM style ... huh ... actualy in that context the costume makes sense. Carry on retarded remake.

Yeah, when you kill off a character your audience's response shouldn't be: I don't know who she was supposed to be, but I'm glad she's dead she was a horrible person and annoying as hell.

Oh, man. Yahtzee's gonna have an aneurysm when he runs into this pile-of-crap/cosplay-fetish.

/popcorn

Is'll be good.

lol this was one of the funniest comics you guys have done in awhile. Good job!

Maybe the eye shadow helps him from not being blinded as much when going from a dark to well lit area... or he is just kinky.

So, is that an actual thing you can do in the game, pretend you're there for some sexy time? Because that would be cool if it was, you'd have an excuse nearly every time.

wAriot:
Leather is stealthy.
Eyeshadow makes you silent.

Also what's the "victim" saying? "It's not what it seems [NRPH]"? That's my best guess.

Translation: Its not what it looks like.

At least that makes the most sense in context.

blackrave:
Yeah.
Not every game needs distinct look for protagonist.
Being as bland and unnoticeable is the point to thieves
You can't exactly blend with crowd when you look as if you just left wild BDSM orgy
Unless it is crowd that was present in said orgy
But what are chances of finding such crowd?

hell it worked for agent 47

Maybe he's just ready for Dark Souls 2.

Greyknight1024:
Seems about right, man on the left needs to learn that a fuck harness is normally attached to the ceiling. 10/10 though except the whole non consenting part. Now we know why most of the guards always seem distracted..the things the must walk in and see. No wonder thy are quick to dismiss noises they hear.

-guard- WHAT WAS THAT!

-older guard- i did not hear anything and neither did you!

-but sir we should..

-DO YOU WANT TO WALK IN ON SOME MAN ON MAN KINKY THINGS?

-newbie proceeds to cry, older guard continues to drink the memories away.

Thief: (Hits guard with blackjack)
Guard: "No thanks. I'm not interested."

Greyknight1024:
Seems about right, man on the left needs to learn that a fuck harness is normally attached to the ceiling. 10/10 though except the whole non consenting part. Now we know why most of the guards always seem distracted..the things the must walk in and see. No wonder thy are quick to dismiss noises they hear.

-guard- WHAT WAS THAT!

-older guard- i did not hear anything and neither did you!

-but sir we should..

-DO YOU WANT TO WALK IN ON SOME MAN ON MAN KINKY THINGS?

-newbie proceeds to cry, older guard continues to drink the memories away.

Thief: (Hits guard with blackjack)
Guard: "No thanks. I'm not interested."

 

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