10 Bible Movies Weirder Than Noah

10 Bible Movies Weirder Than Noah

Here are 10 movies that found the good n' weird in The Good Book.

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The Sign of the Cross sounds (and looks) especially hilarious. I wonder what it is about bible movies that makes them so hilariously bad.

From what little I heard about the Noah movie (mainly Bob's big picture feature), I'd say it is less a biblical view of the story of Noah and a bit more like the story from the flood tablet of Gilgamesh (very informative link to listen to).

Thanks for this list, really do like crazy Bible movies.

What about the Matrix Trilogy?

What, so Jesus Christ Superstar didn't rate as weird enough to make this list?

I mean, just watch this clip and tell me it doesn't belong here.

Yes, that's Judas in the red jacket with the backup singers.

Fun fact! That's not even the only version. That clip is from the 2000 version, here's the same scene from the 1970s version.

Oh god, flashback... The Adnventures of Mark Twain... My childhood... Between this and Watership Down: 20 years of therapy. D:

Edit: Hah! The Pasolini one. A film true to the book makes political critics cry "COMMUNISM!!!" Talk about cognitive dissonance in the religious right.

No Angel's Egg, huh?

To explain why would likely spoil the whole movie, but yeah, it's weird and religious. It's also made by Mamoru Oshii (Ghost in the Shell) so it's vague and cryptic as all hell.

My friends and I rented The Judas Project back in high school because it sounded cool. It was so boring we turned it off after 20 minutes. Just 13 dudes in late 20th-century clothes, standing on a ridge, reciting rote Bible verses in the flattest way possible.

I have a special fondness for Last Temptation of Christ. Willem Dafoe is still my favourite cinematic Christ. I remember a few years after the controversy, one of my Catholic school religion teachers dismissing the criticism, saying, "there's no controversy worth getting fired up about if you actually watch the movie."

Falterfire:
What, so Jesus Christ Superstar didn't rate as weird enough to make this list?

The 1970s Jewison version is annual viewing at my house. And I mostly like the 2000 version--especially the costumes (Pontius Pilate of the SS and those awesome Neo in Matrix Reloaded by way of Jesuit cossacks the Sanhedrin wear are great). But the guy playing Jesus isn't fit to kiss Ted Neeley's feet.

Wait til you see my bible/gurren lagann crossover, if I don't get the number one spot on that list, I still won't think I have wasted my time.

but it also gained attention from political critics for emphasizing Christ's charity/community-centered preaching over miracles and the supernatural which led some to accuse Pasolini of hijacking the Christ story as a vehicle for his leftist political agenda.

Stay classy American-right! But seriously Jesus was totally a socialist. As an outsider looking in it always amazes me how they can be so religious yet conveniently ignore that aspect in pursuit of the 'American dream'.

Was it just me, or did everyone else who saw that Eagle-shaped throne immediately hear the Imperial March from STAR WARS?
If I can spare a moment, I'll have to track down the violent and sexy Bible flicks. Since there's a lot of talk about Jesus Christ: Superstar here, was it that one or Godspell that had Jesus wearing bell bottoms, red suspenders, and a Superman shirt?

How could you miss Tarantino's rendition of Christ?

No one in the comments mentioning Johnah a Veggie Tales movie? For shame.

KazeAizen:
No one in the comments mentioning Johnah a Veggie Tales movie? For shame.

Well... it was the 10th movie mentioned in the article. So 'mentioning it' already happened. Was there something in particular about it you would have us discuss beyond what MovieBob said about it?

Falterfire:

KazeAizen:
No one in the comments mentioning Johnah a Veggie Tales movie? For shame.

Well... it was the 10th movie mentioned in the article. So 'mentioning it' already happened. Was there something in particular about it you would have us discuss beyond what MovieBob said about it?

Well mentioning it here in the thread is what I meant. Seemed like one of those nostalgia things someone on this site would've seen at one point or another. Was just surprised no one had brought it up yet really.

Darth_Payn:
If I can spare a moment, I'll have to track down the violent and sexy Bible flicks. Since there's a lot of talk about Jesus Christ: Superstar here, was it that one or Godspell that had Jesus wearing bell bottoms, red suspenders, and a Superman shirt?

The one where there all dancing clowns just quoting bible verses until Jesus got hung or something on a fence? 'Cause that's what I remember about Godspell. God what a weird movie. At least Jesus Christ: Superstar, for all the weirdness it had, had a cohesive story attached to it.

KazeAizen:
No one in the comments mentioning Johnah a Veggie Tales movie? For shame.

Well other than the fact that the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything appeared before that movie in a Silly Songs compilation, there's not really much to say.

hittite:

KazeAizen:
No one in the comments mentioning Johnah a Veggie Tales movie? For shame.

Well other than the fact that the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything appeared before that movie in a Silly Songs compilation, there's not really much to say.

Other than the fact that they had the Pirates who don't do anything... the only thing good about it I'm sure.

The fuck.

I already knew old Hollywood snuck some rather risque movies thanks to 'historical accuracy' but some of those take the cake.

Casual Shinji:
No Angel's Egg, huh?

To explain why would likely spoil the whole movie, but yeah, it's weird and religious. It's also made by Mamoru Oshii (Ghost in the Shell) so it's vague and cryptic as all hell.

I think it ultimately only made it to the west chopped to bits and mixed liberally into a live action movie.

Darth_Payn:
Was it just me, or did everyone else who saw that Eagle-shaped throne immediately hear the Imperial March from STAR WARS?

Actually I got gregorian chants, I mean a dude, sat all emperor like on an eagle throne... maybe it's a cultural thing. :)

I tend to find with a lot of "controversy" it can be avoided if people actually watch the film/play the game/read the book in question, but people like getting fired up, it's good to angry up the blood once in a while, it's why people read tabloid papers... it's also why I read tabloids (but being the pansy liberal lefty hippy I am. :D) I get worked up for other reasons.

As for biblical movies, a movie where a woman gets "offered" up to an enraged gorilla would sound amazing if it also didn't sound slightly biographical for me. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut in general and by all means call me a philistine (badumtish), I tend not to watch that many movies from pre-1940, I just can't wrap my head around pre-movie language cinematography. But they all sound like something worth checking out if for nothing other than the raw aesthetic value.

Gaijinko:
Wait til you see my bible/gurren lagann crossover, if I don't get the number one spot on that list, I still won't think I have wasted my time.

So what you're saying is you're going to have the Last Supper be done as a giant mecha fight between Judas, the apostles and Jesus? Meanwhile, Jesus has the same personality as Kamina?

That just might be crazy enough to work, actually...

I think I'll keep that Mysterious Stranger clip for later, I'll just put it in with the Point your Finger and do the Twist music video.

Infernai:

Gaijinko:
Wait til you see my bible/gurren lagann crossover, if I don't get the number one spot on that list, I still won't think I have wasted my time.

So what you're saying is you're going to have the Last Supper be done as a giant mecha fight between Judas, the apostles and Jesus? Meanwhile, Jesus has the same personality as Kamina?

That just might be crazy enough to work, actually...

I had a scene where Thomas of doubting fame asks to see the holes in Jesus's hands, Jesus smiles and from said holes two core drills emerge and he shouts "Who the hell do you think I am?"...but I think I may have been crossing some sort of ethical line there with my religious parody.

Darth_Payn:
Was it just me, or did everyone else who saw that Eagle-shaped throne immediately hear the Imperial March from STAR WARS?
If I can spare a moment, I'll have to track down the violent and sexy Bible flicks. Since there's a lot of talk about Jesus Christ: Superstar here, was it that one or Godspell that had Jesus wearing bell bottoms, red suspenders, and a Superman shirt?

That is Godspell with Victor Garber's magnificent Jew-Fro. Can't remember much beyond Victor's hair and Prepare ye the way for the Lord.

Surprised a list of weird Bible movies didn't include any of the bizarre Rapture/Armageddon movies that have come out over the years. Some of those are pretty insane.

So...does this mean that Bob has actually seen Jonah or anything else VeggieTales-related?

"...which led some to accuse Pasolini of hijacking the Christ story as a vehicle for his leftist political agenda."

Jesus Christ was a huge leftist. I'm convinced no one has read the Bible is so long that Christianity should be considered a dead religion.

 

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