Movie Defense Force: Silent Hill Revelation 3D - A Sidesplitting Family Comedy

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Silent Hill Revelation 3D - A Sidesplitting Family Comedy

One of the best cinema experiences I've ever had, man!

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Cool new avatar Jim. I saw the original Silent Hill movie but never really gave this one much thought, maybe I'll give it a look if it ever turns up on Netflix.

Jim, I love it when you do these "alternate takes" on bad movies. It's just like that time you called "Showgirls (Oh, Christ!)" a sequel to "Saved By The Bell". I have to find another "serious" movie you redid as a comedy.

Silent Hill the comedy..... *shivers*
Damn it Jim! Why must you make me discover with this abomination of an idea. Now I have to rewatch this piece of shit and try to like it :'(

Uh...I may be the only person to hold this view, but I thought it was way better than the first movie. Sure, Revelation isn't that good, but it's a hell of a lot better than that poorly acted anti-Christian wankfest masquerading as Silent Hill. And no matter what, it's still better than the Resident Evil movies. At least these people were making a genuine effort, and the plot and characters far closer to SH3 than any of Anderson's piddle.

Alright, I will admit that I completely ignored the hell out of this film because my understanding was that it suuuuuuuuucks. I've always said I will only watch it if liquor is involved, but that was the bitter Silent Hill fan talking. I'm getting better.

That said, I will give this a shot and watch it as a comedy that it clearly appears to be because you sold me on the whole 'Pyramid Head as a Pokemon' deal.

Liquor will still be involved though because reasons.

I'm with Jimmy. If I want a funny Pokemon movie I watch Silent Hill: Revelation 3D. If I want to watch a good Silent Hill movie, I watch Pokemon: The Spell og Unown.

Was that John Snow??

I geniunely liked the first Silent Hill film and I still genuinely think it's a great film.

I've always ignored the new one because, well, "spider-doll", among other things that sound sillier if I start to write them. I'll give it a watch whenever it comes up on Netflix, but it definitely isn't on my priorities list.

Pyramid head as a pokemon? yes please.

This video kind of contradicts this show's theme tune, but I wholeheartedly agree. It's a really horrible, despicable movie, but it's so much fun to watch.

But if they actually do what the ending threatens to do, which is basically

I will murder a kitten.

Mumorpuger:
Was that John Snow??

Yes, he plays Vincent (who is turned into a teenager for some fucking stupid reason). He's horrible in this. It's amazing to see such great talent (Sean Bean, Kit Harrington, Malcolm Fucking McDowell) suddenly become the worst actors ever because the director was utterly incompetent.

LysanderNemoinis:
At least these people were making a genuine effort, and the plot and characters far closer to SH3 than any of Anderson's piddle.

Is it though? At least Anderson doesn't pretend his movies have anything to do with the games (aside from the title). This shit was presented as an adaptation of Silent Hill 3. And then they pull this shit:

Frankly, I'd rather have a movie that really has nothing to do with the games than a movie based on a three-line synopsis of the actual game that fucks up every major plot point and character.

I guess that is one way to look the movie, but for me (and I imagine many others) we wanted to see a silent hill movie and thinking f it as a comedy just heightens the disappointment.

The first had of the movie wasn't bad, not as good as the firs one, but still ok. Enough suspense to keep me interested. Once they get to silent hill though the movie jumps the rails and is so crushingly disappointing.

I can appreciate what you are trying to do Mr Stirling, but it doesn't soften the blow.

I have to politely disagree with the Pokemon assertion. In truth, the finale is from a Godzilla movie: We follow the not very good story of some cheesy actors and everything gets put on hold as the monster we really wanted to see stomps in and clobbers another monster which the kids were eagerly waiting for the whole movie.

Did anyone else hum the Persona 4 theme as Heather made peace with her dark side?

Probably because I've never played any Silent Hill, I had the same oppinion as this video. The acting was hammy, and Pyramid head was laughable, especially when he was on his merry-go-round bicycle contraption? He just looked so damn happy.

DirgeNovak:
This video kind of contradicts this show's theme tune, but I wholeheartedly agree. It's a really horrible, despicable movie, but it's so much fun to watch.

But if they actually do what the ending threatens to do, which is basically

I will murder a kitten.

Wait...what?

They're actually thinking about doing that with a straight face?

Do they even want their movie to make sense?

I just... I can't...

I can't even even!

Fiz_The_Toaster:

DirgeNovak:
This video kind of contradicts this show's theme tune, but I wholeheartedly agree. It's a really horrible, despicable movie, but it's so much fun to watch.

But if they actually do what the ending threatens to do, which is basically

I will murder a kitten.

Wait...what?

They're actually thinking about doing that with a straight face?

Do they even want their movie to make sense?

I just... I can't...

I can't even even!

I don't know if the sequel is actually being planned, but in the end,

It's fucking stupid.

DirgeNovak:

Fiz_The_Toaster:

DirgeNovak:
This video kind of contradicts this show's theme tune, but I wholeheartedly agree. It's a really horrible, despicable movie, but it's so much fun to watch.

But if they actually do what the ending threatens to do, which is basically

I will murder a kitten.

Wait...what?

They're actually thinking about doing that with a straight face?

Do they even want their movie to make sense?

I just... I can't...

I can't even even!

I don't know if the sequel is actually being planned, but in the end,

It's fucking stupid.

...

*sighs*

Well, they made all their money back and then some, so who knows what will happen.

And people wonder why I'm a jaded "fan" of the series.

DirgeNovak:
This video kind of contradicts this show's theme tune, but I wholeheartedly agree. It's a really horrible, despicable movie, but it's so much fun to watch.

But if they actually do what the ending threatens to do, which is basically

I will murder a kitten.

Mumorpuger:
Was that John Snow??

Yes, he plays Vincent (who is turned into a teenager for some fucking stupid reason). He's horrible in this. It's amazing to see such great talent (Sean Bean, Kit Harrington, Malcolm Fucking McDowell) suddenly become the worst actors ever because the director was utterly incompetent.

LysanderNemoinis:
At least these people were making a genuine effort, and the plot and characters far closer to SH3 than any of Anderson's piddle.

Is it though? At least Anderson doesn't pretend his movies have anything to do with the games (aside from the title). This shit was presented as an adaptation of Silent Hill 3. And then they pull this shit:

Frankly, I'd rather have a movie that really has nothing to do with the games than a movie based on a three-line synopsis of the actual game that fucks up every major plot point and character.

I suppose. Though at least the characters appeared. Douglas was still a good guy, Heather at least sort of looked like she was supposed to look, Claudia was still crazy and evil with a locked up creepy father, and Vincent helped out Heather. The so-called RE movies actually had villains become heroes and vice verca in a couple situations, and it's Anderson's continued bullshitting of the fans that really drives me up the proverbial wall.
While it's still no where near the quality of Prince of Persia and Mortal Kombat in terms of adaptations, it's a damn sight closer than the likes of Resident Evil and Super Mario Bros.

Saddest part of it all is the same director made Solomon kane. A film I genuinely like :(

LysanderNemoinis:
*snip*
While it's still no where near the quality of Prince of Persia and Mortal Kombat in terms of adaptations, it's a damn sight closer than the likes of Resident Evil and Super Mario Bros.

"Prince of Persia" and "quality adaptation" in the same sentence? Don't make me laugh. That movie legitimately made me angry. How those assholes took one of the best stories in video game history and made it that fucking pile of shit is sickening.
I wasn't the biggest fan of Silent Hill 3's story (it's good, but it's definitely the weakest of the Team Silent stories), so fucking it up didn't bother me that much, but what they did with Sands of Time was like spitting in my face. They needed five characters, they made a dozen. The prince's origin story makes no fucking sense. The characters have no arcs. And worst of all, they completely, irredeemably fucked up the game's perfect ending.
I guess it looked pretty, though. :P

Someone needs to make a picture of Ash Catchem saying "PYRAMID HEAD! QUICK! USE YOUR DISEMBOWELING ATTACK!!!" while in the background and the aforementioned pokemon in the foreground.

Like, right now. :P

I dare you to try and defend Uwe Bowle's House of the Dead film.

For some reason I started watching this movie a while ago, saw bunnies, skipped ahead and saw Pyramid head fighting inside a fire ring and I just had to stop watching it.

The first one at least had some good atmosphere, and a bunch of good effort put into it, even though I wouldn't consider it "good" by any means, average at most, but it felt like they tried to make a movie out of it, while this one felt like a bunch of stuff thrown together to make it "scary".

LysanderNemoinis:
While it's still no where near the quality of Prince of Persia and Mortal Kombat

Prince of Persia?... I'd say anything but Prince of Persia as a good movie adaptation, maybe say something like "Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter" but Prince of Persia?... No, just no.

DirgeNovak:

LysanderNemoinis:
*snip*
While it's still no where near the quality of Prince of Persia and Mortal Kombat in terms of adaptations, it's a damn sight closer than the likes of Resident Evil and Super Mario Bros.

"Prince of Persia" and "quality adaptation" in the same sentence? Don't make me laugh. That movie legitimately made me angry. How those assholes took one of the best stories in video game history and made it that fucking pile of shit is sickening.
I wasn't the biggest fan of Silent Hill 3's story (it's good, but it's definitely the weakest of the Team Silent stories), so fucking it up didn't bother me that much, but what they did with Sands of Time was like spitting in my face. They needed five characters, they made a dozen. The prince's origin story makes no fucking sense. The characters have no arcs. And worst of all, they completely, irredeemably fucked up the game's perfect ending.
I guess it looked pretty, though. :P

Perhaps I should have been a bit more specific. The main reason I hold of PoP as one of the best video game movies is that the creators specifically said they weren't going to make the movie just like the games or base the movie off any one game's story, Jordan Mechner was involved in the production and lended his ideas and input to the proceedings, and the movie had elements from just about every game in the series. It's a stark contrast to the rest of the video game movies where people like my person hate figure Paul W.S. Anderson continues to say what a huge fan of Resident Evil he is and that he's played all the games, and he's just lying through his sniveling, duplicitous ass. Besides, while they heavily used the Sands as a part of the movie, there's several continuities for the series, so I consider the movie just a new entry into the franchise.

I absolutely agree. I caught this a while back and had a blast. Being a fan of the series makes this film so much more enjoyable because the sheer incomprehensible stupidity of the references baffled and amused me to no end and they happen so frequently I couldn't help but lose my shit a few times.

The greatest and most amazing achievement of this film, however, is casting Sean Bean in the "supposed to die" role that is achieved in every other horror film ever and is even the same character that bites it IN THE GAME IT IS BASED ON: HE LIVES THROUGH IT. The film actually tricked me several times by "implying" his death about 3 times or so but each and every time he shows up later! It's insanity!

Nope, nope, nope. Still too painful. I went into this expecting to be as pleasantly surprised as when I watched the first Silent Hill movie and was so bummed by the end. Maybe some day I'll give it another try from your perspective, but that's not going to be today.

Jim missed the biggest joke in the movie, the constant references to the "Seal of Megatron." I actually played the game and still couldn't help but crack up with my friends every time a character brought it up.

Well, I'll say this; The puzzle in the apartment building in 2 involving the juice box and putting it in the garbage chute? It took me about half an hour to figure that out. I guess that since I wasn't Japanese that it didn't immediately click that's what you're supposed to do.

'This is heavy'

Real good clue there.

That final battle with Pyramid Head nearly had me shouting in rage, it was so utterly stupid. And don't get me started on the contrived love story that never existed in the game being shoved into this film as though they were trying to make it a teen flick. And how they killed off one of the most pivotal characters within 5 bloody minutes of the beginning but not kill off the other pivotal character that's central to the plot moving forward.

Beyond that though, I can forgive it. It's an immensely watchable bad film.

LysanderNemoinis:
Uh...I may be the only person to hold this view, but I thought it was way better than the first movie.

Uh, yep. Pretty sure you're alone on that.

anti-Christian wankfest

o_O

As Silent Hill 3 is my favourite Silent Hill game I can't forgive Revelations for it's awfulness. I can't say I was bored, though, parts did make me laugh. I did like that the film was just a love letter to the series but for some reason it shits on Silent Hill 3. What was wrong with Silent Hill 3, movie?! It did look nice, though, nearly as much as Silent Hill 1.

Oh well, I just finished Downpour again so I think I may watch this again just for the sake of it. I do wonder whether the next film will be of Silent Hill 2, 4 or Downpour.

I view the film from the same point, it's a comedy. My boyfriend thinks it's actually a pretty good film and can never understand my gripes with it. He hasn't played the game and wasn't aware of the plot differences until I pointed them out to him. I feel the film just takes one big giant crap on the game. However I did like the nod to Origins and Downpour at the end. Even if I thought they weren't the best games. It's entertaining to watch but it's also painful as hell. Oh Vincent, Vincent, what have they done to you? You were delightfully near on insane in the game and here you are a teenage boy.

There wasn't even the line "Monsters? They look like monsters to you?".

How ironic is it that in the storyline this movie was adapted from, Sean Bean's character was supposed to die... and yet here he didn't?

I have always had huge gripes with both of these movies (why the hell couldn't Bean be the lead to begin with?), but this one was irrevocably shittier. When I saw this in the theater, the final Pyramid Head battle literally made me say "You've got to be shitting me." I can still enjoy both of them, but I can't honestly say that this one was even slightly good.

Also, the wink-wink-nudge-nudge to both Origin AND Downpour (which was fucking terrible) almost gave me a hernia.

daxterx2005:
Pyramid head as a pokemon? yes please.

PH also got a nice part-time job as a carousel operator. Maybe now he can get enough money to buy some rust remover.

I remember being disappointed a lot by the mannequin-spider-thing because it was CGI and not made with practical effects. The director forgot that actual dolls are creepy as fuck.

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